Not Myself
By Princess Alexandria
Princess_alex24@hotmail.com




Annie got back to the house just minutes before dinner and sat awkwardly at the dining table to eat with everyone else.  She could almost imagine she could sense Christy's discomfort with being the hostess and being obviously checked out as a suitable guardian.  Christy always made sure they all understood she wasn't in charge and didn't hand down rules, that they were all a team, and yet tonight she had to act like she was something she wasn't in a few ways. 

"So Christy."  Marcus spoke while sprinkling Parmesan cheese on his lasagna.  "You have a boyfriend or husband to help you with raising this pack of teenagers?"

Annie felt her eyes drawn to Christy, waiting to see what she'd do.  Erik actually squirmed in his seat and Annie saw Christy's eyes catch that.  "No, they pretty much help me with things around here."

Marcus studied Christy for a moment and Annie's hand clenched under the table.  "You seeing anyone?  Surely a young woman like yourself has a boyfriend."

Christy blushed in her discomfort.  "No."  Annie was shocked that Christy wasn't just telling him.  He was being snoopy and Christy was just taking it.

"You really shouldn't…"

"Marcus, Leave the poor woman alone."  Sarah took the cheese out of his hand to sprinkle some over her own dinner.  "I'm sure Christy doesn't want a personal interrogation."

Dinner conversation was polite and rather uninteresting for a while.  "So, Christy, do you mind me asking what your mutation is?"  Sarah asked. 

Christy just put the fork that was heading for her mouth back down on her plate.  Erik finally spoke up, "Mom, you're getting a little too personal."

"What, I just want to know what makes her qualified to teach you."  Sarah's eyes went back to Christy, waiting for the answer.

Christy's voice was just a little more businesslike.  "I'm not a mutant, but I know of enough that if we need help I can get it.  I have connections with a telepath at another school, and she's been invaluable in helping with Erik's training."

"Oh."  Sarah just stared at Christy for a moment.  "I just thought…"

Christy gave her a tense smile.  "I know.  Every one of my students has asked about it at some point."

"So how did you get involved in taking in mutants to train them?"  Marcus' attention was completely on Christy. 

Christy got a far away look in her eyes for a moment, and when she spoke her voice held a note of conviction that they all rarely heard from her.  "This world is completely messed up.  The fact that they treat people like…"  Christy just shook her head, and went quiet for a moment.  When she spoke again her voice was softer and less angry sounding.  It was obviously an effort for her.  Annie started to wonder why she'd never thought to ask this question.  She noticed everyone's eyes were on Christy at that moment.  "Mutants are special, and they don't deserve to be treated the way they are being treated just for being born different.  Its sick.  This society is sick to do the things they do."  Christy looked away and Annie swore she saw tears in Christy's eyes for a moment.  "I couldn't do nothing.  I may not have power, but I have information and I couldn't just do nothing.  These are MY students and they needed me."

A silence fell across the room and it was lasting far too long.  Annie didn't know what to say, but felt like she should say something.  God, her heart felt like it would explode from the…

"Erik, build up your shields.  Focus."  Christy was suddenly breaking the silence.  Annie looked up to see tears falling down Erik's cheeks.  She started to take deep breaths and attempted to calm down her own swirling emotions.  When she opened her eyes she saw Jessi and Jon's eyes were closed as they too tried to calm their emotions.  "Nice sturdy walls.  Raise them up.  They are strong, you can barely hear the hum of the world outside of them.  Nail it into place."  Christy's voice was soft and soothing.  Erik's parents alternated between watching their son and watching Christy.  After a moment Erik just nodded his head quietly.  Christy turned to Sarah.  "It's getting too emotional in here right now.  He's not up to that yet."

"I'm okay now."  Erik's voice was a little raspy.

After dinner Jessi and Jon left to go to the movies.  They didn't say it but Annie knew it was a date, because they didn't invite anyone else to come with them.  A subtle nod from Christy let Annie know it was all clear to make excuses and go hide in her room if she wanted.  She definitely wanted.  Seeing the love Erik's parents still had for him hurt.  Annie had a father that would probably turn her over to the F.O.H. if he knew where she was, and her mother who might have still loved her had died years ago.  She told them she was going to work on homework and left. 

********

After a visit with Erik and his parents where they talked about regular school and other mundane things, they asked Erik to leave them to talk to Christy.  That didn't sit well with her, since he'd have to go to his bedroom to give them privacy, but she didn't say anything.  She didn't like people treating her students like children without rights of their own, but these were his parents.  She realized she was being irrationally territorial.

Once he was downstairs Marcus spoke more seriously.  "We want to thank you for taking Erik in."  He clasped his hands in front of him and stared down at them.  His voice was quiet and emotional.  "He's our only child, and we tried, we did… but we didn't know how to help him."  Christy watched him shake his head and grit his teeth as he tried to compose himself.  He obviously loved Erik very much.  "When he'd project and we felt the pain that bombarded our boy all the time…"  It looked like he might actually cry.  His wife reached out to hold his hand.

"You did a lot for him."  Christy didn't need to be Empathic to see the guilt here.  "You still love him.  I can't say my other students have that.  My girls don't.  Erik knows you still love him, and that does more for him than you can ever realize."  Christy just stared down at Wolf for a moment while trying to collect her thoughts.  The dog was sitting in front of the fireplace staring at them. 

With a heavy sigh Christy started to speak again.  "I'm not sure what I can do will be enough either.  I promised him and I'll promise you that we will try our hardest to help him learn to understand his powers."  She looked up to stare into Sarah's eyes since Marcus was still trying to compose himself.  "But I did mention to him that he has other options.  He… he just needs to accept and he could have so much more than I can give him, but he needs to come to that conclusion on his own."

"What are you talking about?"  Sarah asked and her eyes seemed to be trying to read the answer on Christy's expression.

"He could work with a strong telepath to build his shields and understand his skills, but he's not ready to go yet."  Christy didn't want them trying to force him, but they did deserve to know.  "That's where the telepath I mentioned is.  She'd be so much better at helping Erik than I am."  Christy tucked some of her hair behind her ear, "but right now I think actually feeling safe and cared for is more important for him than trying to convince him that moving out of state to work with her will help him with his powers.  After we work through the fact that he felt someone die I'm planning to push harder for him to at least talk to her."

"Out of state?"  Marcus looked up.  "There isn't anyone closer?"

"She'd actually care about Erik.  If I even knew of someone else, I wouldn't have the kind of trust that I have in her.  She's the best at what she does."  Christy sighed.  "But I'm not going to push any of my students to leave."

"Who is it?"  Marcus didn't look too happy at the moment.

"You can understand how I can't tell other people she's a mutant or that she helps mutants.  It's not my right, but if Erik decides to work with her I'm sure you'll get all the information."

The moment of quiet wasn't too strained.  "How did you get to know so much?  Do you have mutants in your family?"

Christy just gave them a weak smile.  She had no clue if she did.  "I hear stories."

After some brief and less emotional chatting Marcus brought something else up.  "I heard that the kids here pay rent."

"Only what they can afford."  Christy knew these people weren't well off and didn't want them feeling embarrassed about it.  "I don't encourage them to work more than twenty hours a week.  School has to come first in this house."

"You aren't wealthy.  We all know teachers don't make much."  Marcus' skin was just a little redder.  "If you need money."

"I don't, but Erik might.  I can't afford clothes or other things they need."  Christy decided to be honest about the money situation here.  "I make enough to cover the bills and most of the groceries.  I find adding one person to the house doesn't really cost that much with regular bills, but things like clothes and such are just beyond what I can do."  She paused while wondering how honest she could be with them.  "We sometimes take classes in things that are useful to know, like CPR and those cost money.  That is where I put the rent money I collect from the others.  I use that money to help in training, or whatever is left of that money after groceries."

"I could never do what you're doing."  Marcus gave her a look that clearly conveyed his appreciation and respect.

"It's not entirely unselfish."  Christy gave him a small grin.  She wasn't comfortable with the praise.  "They give me something to live for and living alone was starting to really get to me."

When they went downstairs to visit some more with Erik.  Christy took a deep breath and relaxed for a moment. 

She knocked on Annie's door.  "Can I come in?"

"Sure."

When Christy stepped in she saw that Annie was actually studying.  She moved to sit on Annie's bed and smiled at her.  "I was thinking I'd like to go to the bookstore.  I need to pick up a few things.  It's still open.  I was going to ask you and Erik if you want to come?"  Christy knew Annie liked to read, so it was a safe bet the girl was coming with her. 

********

Annie was surprised that Erik decided to join them, but his talk about the latest CD he was hoping was there made it clear he was only after music.  He wasn't a big reader usually.  The Borders' Bookstore had someone playing music downstairs and was unbelievably busy for a Friday night.

"I didn't know it would be so busy."  Christy moved closer to Annie and Erik.  Her voice got quieter as she addressed him.  "Are you going to be okay here?"

********

Rahne waited until she couldn't hear Christy's car in the distance and then shifted just enough to open the back door and slip out.  She'd hidden her cell phone outside in the bushes and this might be the best chance she had to call in and report on what she was doing.  The tall fences made the backyard private so she didn't worry too much about shifting forms enough to dial and talk, but she carried the phone with her as she went back inside.  She kept alert in case either Jon's truck or Christy's car returned.

Once he answered Rahne started to talk.  "Professor, I dinnae know what to make of her.  I'm in the house as their new… pet."  Rahne grimaced a little. 

"Is it safe?"  The Professor sounded concerned.

"They dinnae suspect me."  Rahne stretched and moved to the fridge to see about eating something other than dog food.  In a house full of teenagers they'd never notice some food missing.  "She's having them train each other, and using guns is something they cover."

"What about the other children?"

"She's willing to let them have sex in the house.  She even talks about giving the strong boy advice on it."  That hadn't sat well with her at all.  Sex wasn't something that she should let kids have under her own roof.  The professor hadn't allowed that kind of behavior.  Her skin was blushing as she told him that, but it was the most clear indication that this woman shouldn't be around this kids she could find, other than saying she was a lesbian and the professor wouldn't care for that kind of prejudice.

"Okay."  The Professor sighed.  "The team is coming Monday.  Thanks for keeping an eye on things."

"They are putting out flyers to find… my family.  They think I'm a stray dog."

"Well, I'll arrange to have someone claim you then."  The humor in the Professor's voice made Rahne smile.  He became more serious as Rahne started to give a full report on what she'd seen and sensed.  She did it quickly so that she would hopefully have time to eat.

********

Erik followed Annie and Christy out of the busy bookstore and sighed in relief as some of the minds fell out of touch with his own.  His shields just muted others emotions down now, they didn't block them out entirely.  He really envied Christy's shields.  If he had something like that he could block out absolutely everything no matter how strongly felt.

"Ice cream?"  Christy called back to him once he'd gotten in the car.  Like he'd say no to that.  "Okay, I feel like Baskin Robbins."

The sitting in a nearly deserted ice cream place eating with his friends was a nice feeling.  Erik smiled at them both, but then froze as a sudden burst of anger and fear hit him.  "Oh God."  He gasped out quietly.  It was a murderous anger like that man that had killed his neighbor.

"MUTANT!"  A voice yelled from outside the Baskin Robbins and Erik flinched as he turned around to see a group of thugs surrounding someone.  The one they were yelling at.

"They'll kill him."  He turned wide eyes to Christy and could see the woman's eyes grow cold with anger.

"No, they won't."  Christy stood up and stared at Erik and Annie for a moment.  It felt like she was sizing them up. "Annie, I know you don't have a license, but can you drive the car down the street to the Real Estate place?"

Erik felt his heart hammering.  He didn't catch the answer, but when Annie grabbed his hand he focused on her.  "Come.  We are getting you out of here."

"But they'll kill him."

"Christy will take care of it."  Annie looked pale and Erik made a conscious effort to not project onto her what he was getting from the men in the parking lot.

The anger and fear started to fade and when the car stopped it was gone.  Annie put the car in park and stared at him.  "I'll be right back."

"She didn't tell you to do that did she?"  Erik couldn't imagine Christy having Annie in a fight, but he couldn't see Christy in a fight either.  If he could go back to help without getting sucked into other peoples emotions he would run back with Annie.  Christy was alone again four angry men, and the mutant was so terrified that his power probably wasn't any help.  He stared at Annie as she ran across the street back towards the commotion.

Oh God he didn't want to feel anyone die again.  He didn't want to feel his friends die.  Still, Erik got out of the car and ran after Annie.  They were his friends, and he was going to do whatever he could to keep them safe.