Chapter Eleven

We continued to keep touch on the computer. I didn't tell a soul about Jareth and me. I knew that they wouldn't understand, especially mom. She'd throw a cow. The day came when I graduated. Jareth was there, as the owl of course. He was in a tree and fluttered his wings when I received my diploma. Over the months I had grown to love him. I had not told him yet, though. I was scared. He had asked me to marry him a few months ago on my 18th birthday, but I hadn't given him an answer. His proposal was so sweet, too. He sang it to me.

"Sometimes you get so lonely
Sometimes you get nowhere
I've lived all over the world
I've left every place

Please be mine
Share my life
Stay with me
Be my wife

Sometimes you get so lonely"

I had told him to wait until I graduated before I would answer. I wanted to be with him so much. The times between our meetings seemed so long. But I didn't want to leave my family either. I was torn between two worlds and it hurt. The night of graduation, after my celebration dinner, I got on my computer and went to the chat room. Jareth, hetraJKG, was there waiting.

"Hello," Jareth had typed.

"Hi," I typed back.

"Congratulations."

"Thanks."

"Do you want to meet tonight?"

"I don't have an answer for you yet. Give me time."

"I won't push you. You decide on your on time. But I would like to see you."

"Ok. Give me about five minutes."

"See you then."

I fixed myself up and put on my sandals. I headed out and mom stopped me.

"Where are you going?" mom asked me.

"Out for a walk."

"Boy, you've walked a lot these past months. Since when did u become t he outdoorsy type?"

"I just want to keep in shape. Can I go now?"

"Okay. Be careful."

Mom let me go and I headed to the park. There was a small clearing in the trees by the park. That's where we always met. I got there and Jareth was waiting. We embraced and kissed, though I didn't kiss him as warmly as I usually do.

"What's wrong?" he asked me, sensing something was different.

"Nothing. Just a lot on my mind."

"Anything I can help you with?"

"No, but thanks." I smiled at him.

We sat down and he wrapped his arm around me. I felt so safe there. I couldn't believe how much he had changed, and how much my feelings had changed for him. We sat in silence which was fine with me. My brain was working hard trying to make a decision.

"You know, I often wonder what you're thinking" Jareth said softly. "I could easily read your mind, but refrain from doing so. But you are worrying me. Something is weighing heavily on your mind."

He was so sweet that I couldn't take it. I started crying. Jareth moved so he was holding me and I was crying into his chest. He just held me. I guess he knew it was better not to say anything right then. He had really grown to be very sensitive. I cried and was mentally kicking myself. Why was I acting like this? Okay, so my heart felt like it was ripping in two. Maybe that was why I was crying. I pulled a tissue from my pocket and cleaned myself up. I pulled away from Jareth, but wouldn't look at him. I knew I'd just cry again.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked sweetly.

I shrugged. I didn't know if I could even talk.

"Please talk to me," Jareth said with his voice full of emotion.

"I..." I started. I swallowed, took a deep breath, and started again. "I'm having a hard time deciding between two things."

"What two things?"

"Your world and mine."

"I see," Jareth said. "Well, do you know yet how do you feel about me?"

"I..." I took another deep breath. "I love you. I love you with all my heart and I want to be with you, but I don't know if I can live in your world." It all spilled out.

Jareth had a soft smile on his face.

"You've taught me many things. One is that when you love someone you want what will make them the happiest. So, as you make your decision, don't worry about me. Think about your happiness." He said sweetly putting a hand on my cheek.

"Would you stop!" I yelled pushing off his hand.

I just couldn't take him being so wonderful. It was hurting me. Jareth looked at me like a hurt puppy dog. I sighed.

"I'm sorry." I apologized softly. "You're just so...perfect. It makes the decision so hard."

"What can I do to help?" he asked.

"I...just need time. I'm going to go back home and try to rest. I'll just talk to you later ok?"

He nodded and helped me up. He kissed me bye and I left hearing the owl flap its wings and leave. I went to bed when I got home. I just laid there. I couldn't sleep. I had a big decision to make. I cried myself asleep.

Unknown to me, Jareth was watching me through his glass ball and he sang as he watched.

"The road I have traveled on
Is paved with good intentions
It's littered with broken dreams
That never quite came true

When all of my hopes were dying
Her love kept me trying
She does her best to hide
The pain that she's been through

When she cries at night
And she doesn't think that I can hear her
She tries to hide
All the fear she feel inside
So I pray this time
I can be the man that she deserves
'Cause I die a little each time
When she cries

She's always been there for me
Whenever I've fallen
When nobody else believes
She'll be there by my side I don't know how she takes it
Just once I'd like to make it
Then there'll be tears of joy
That fill her loving eyes When she cries at night
And she doesn't think that I can hear her
She tries to hide
All the fear she feel inside
So I pray this time
I can be the man that she deserves
'Cause I die a little each time
When she cries"