A/N: Okay, this chapters a little weird, and different from all of the other ones. It's a song-fic chapter, which I normally don't like, but I really wanted to do it for just this one chapter, the song really reflected the emotions going through Lizzie. The song is "Come Clean" by Hilary Duff.
The Prince You Charmed
Chapter 16: Come Clean
Let's go back
Back to the beginning
Lizzie ran from the hospital, ignoring the questions from her family, and the Gordon's. She ripped the heavy hospital door open angrily, and walked out. The newly arriving thunder crashed and the lightening cracked, but Lizzie didn't care.
Tears welled up in her eyes, and she felt a stinging sensation of drowning. Drowning in her own sobs. Her throat was constricting, as her body wracked with emotion filled sobs. 'And,' she thought to herself, 'I completely deserve it.'
The liquid crystals soared down her face, but she refused to do anything about it. She felt small hiccups escape her throat as she began to run towards the park. Her feet pounded against the round, in a steady rhythm, and the rain was beating against her in a forceful manner.
Back to when the earth, the sun, the stars
All aligned
Her blonde hair cascaded around her, flapping in the wind. The rain was soaking her to the core, but her mind wasn't on the rain, it wasn't on her hair, it wasn't on the thunder.
It was on Gordo.
And how much he hated her right now.
The sentence sounded so weird inside her head, so foreign. She uttered the words out loud, "Gordo hates me."
They sounded just as strange out loud, coming from her own mouth. She had never fought with Gordo for this long, not once. One of them always gave in and apologized, and then everything was okay. But not this time, she had apologized, and it wasn't okay now. Because what she had done wasn't okay.
She knew she'd never forgive herself for the pain she had caused everyone. Lizzie stepped upon the park grounds, running straight to the tree that Gordo had recently comforted her under.
Nothing would ever be right again, she convinced herself.
Cause perfect,
Didn't seem so perfect
She spun around, crazily, as the rain pounded against her head. Her make-up smeared down her face as it mixed with salty tears. Sobs continued to erupt from Lizzie's mouth.
She had wanted a boyfriend, she had wanted to be popular. She had wanted perfect. But perfect had been there all along. Perfect was Gordo.
The image of perfect that she had always seen, the life of Kate, was no fun. It may have always looked glamorous to Lizzie, but it wasn't. It was torture, pure torture. Her heart pounded against her chest, and she felt like collapsing. She swatted her arms furiously throughout the air, wishing she had something to aim for.
Lizzie let out a small whimper, as she slowly fell to the ground, more sobs emitted her mouth, putting her heart through more agony.
She pounded her fists on the sopping wet ground, wanting nothing more than to inflict pain on herself. Not serious pain, just small bouts of pain. Pain that would take her mind off of her aching heart.
Trying to fit a square into a circle
Was no life
I defy
A loud crack of lightning lit up the dark sky. It was immediately followed by a earsplitting bang of thunder. The loud noise blocked out Lizzie's treacherous screams of pain. Pain not from the banging of her fists, but pain from her heart. A pain that was far more excruciating than any type of physical pain.
Lizzie sat up slightly, her eyes red from crying, her nose stuffy from it. She leaned her back against the huge tree trunk and slowly closed her eyes. The leaves dropped drops of water down on her face. She raised her head to the sky, eyes still closed, wanting the feel the refreshing coolness of the rain against her skin.
Slowly, she stood, and started spinning again, It gave her a weird sensation, as sensation of going back in time. It let her go into her own world, were everything was perfect. A world were Gordo would talk to her.
Let the rain fall down
And wake my dreams
Let it wash away
My sanity
Cuz I wanna feel the thunder
I wanna scream
Let the rain fall down
I'm coming clean
Lizzie slowed her spinning, and lowered her arms from there straight out position. She brought her head back down, so her chin was parallel to the ground.
She pushed herself towards the tree trunk, as she ran her hands over it. She walked a few steps to her right, before finding what she was looking for. Etched into the tree were words, put there by Gordo and herself many years ago. It had been Lizzie's idea, after seeing it in a movie, it seemed like the right thing to do. Gordo had quickly agreed to the idea.
They had only been in kindergarten, and what they had put on that tree hadn't made a big effect on them. They held a sense of pride afterwards, proud of themselves for what they accomplished.
Lizzie's index finger traced the medium sized heart, smiling slightly. Inside it was written Lizzie Gordo Forever. Lizzie smiled, happier. She could remember how they had just mastered how to write their names, and learning to write forever and draw the heart had taken them days of practice, and almost a whole notebook.
I'm shedding
Shedding every color
Lizzie's mom had found the notebook a few years later, shoved in the back of Lizzie's closet. Pages upon pages filled with large letters that spelt out the very words that were forever burned into the tree.
After mastering the writing, the hard part came. Etching it into the tree. The two had spend weeks getting everything just perfect, and Lizzie would never forget a second of anything that had happened during those weeks.
She even remembered their conversation after they had successfully completed their task.
Trying to find a pigment
Of truth beneath my skin
Flashback
Lizzie giggled as she stepped back to admire her and Gordo's work. She gasped slightly as Gordo grabbed her hand. Turning her head, she smiled at him. He returned the smile.
"It means that we'll always love each other, and that we'll be together forever," Gordo told her, seriously.
Lizzie simply nodded her head in agreement. "Okay. But isn't forever a long time?"
Gordo shrugged. "Yeah, so if I have to spend it with someone, then I'm glad it's you."
Lizzie nodded again. "Yeah, I'm glad it's you, too."
"You know," Gordo continued, "If you wanna be just like in the movie than some day we have to get married under this tree."
Lizzie scrunched her face up in confusion. "That didn't happen in the movie," Lizzie informed Gordo.
"I know, but it can be our own movie. And we'll call it Lizzie and Gordo: Happily Ever After."
Lizzie giggled again, and threw her arms around Gordo's neck, planting a kiss on his cheek. "Promise?" she started, "That some day we'll get married right here?"
"Promise," he told her, grinning happily at her.
End of Flashback
Lizzie smiled as she recalled the memory. After that day, the two had never talked about the promise, she didn't even know if Gordo remembered it.
He probably thought it was silly, if he did remember.
But she didn't. Silent tears rolled down her face. "You promised, Gordo. You promised."
Cause different
Doesn't feel so different
Lizzie sighed, knowing that she had probably destroyed their relationship even more after telling him that she loved him.
But he had told her that he loved her, hadn't he?
Lizzie scoffed. 'Yeah, McGuire', she told herself, 'And look how that turned out.'
She continued to let slow tears flow down her face. Why had she ever fallen for Ryan? She remembered the day he had asked her out, how she couldn't stop comparing him to Gordo. Why hadn't she taken that as a hint?
Why had she been so stupid?
And going out is better
Than always staying in
Feel the wind
Lizzie ran her hand through her sopping wet hair. Cascading tears were still covering her face, but she refused to acknowledge them. Her tears didn't matter right now. He mid focused on the promise Gordo had made practically 10 years ago.
A promise to marry her under that tree.
But the way everything was going, that was never going to happen. Lizzie shook her head. She had just newly turned 15, as had Gordo, why was she even thinking about marriage?
Lizzie let out an exasperated sigh. She was thinking about it because she loved Gordo, and she did want to spend the rest of her life with him.
But as the rain continued to fall, Lizzie thought it was a sign that that would never happen, that Gordo would never forgive her.
Let the rain fall down
And wake my dreams
Let it wash away
My sanity
'Cuz I wanna feel the thunder
I wanna scream
Let the rain fall down
I'm coming clean
Lizzie raised her head to the sky again, letting the rain pelt her face hard. "What am I supposed to do? What do you want from me?" She cried out desperately. Her sobs that had once subdued had now picked up full speed again. "How am I supposed to fix this?"
I'm coming clean
Let the rain fall down
Let the rain fall down
Let the rain fall down
Let the rain fall
Let the rain fall
I'm coming clean
Lizzie started her desperate screaming again, not knowing what else to do. But suddenly, she realized that maybe the rain wasn't a burden. But a sign.
A sign that maybe, within time, she could wash away everything that she had done wrong. That someday, Gordo would wash away all the pain she had caused and forgive her.
Let the rain fall down
And wake my dreams
Let it wash away
My sanity
Cuz I wanna feel the thunder
I wanna scream
Let the rain fall down
I'm coming clean
Lizzie brought her head back to it's normal position, as a faint smile fell across her features.
She would fix this, somehow, she would make everything better. She was going to get Gordo to forgive her one way or another. Even if it took her years to do.
The rain lightened up slightly, as Lizzie's determination shined through her inside pain. She wasn't going to give up.
Lizzie let a small ray of happiness overflow her body, as a small rainbow appeared over the tree she was standing under.
A/N: Eek! 2 more full chapters, and an epilogue left!! And guess what?? They're written!! But, I'm going continue to update this, and Back to the Beginning at the same time, until this is finished. And I don't have anything written in advance for that, so you gotta wait. But it is all planned out, chapter by chapter.