Not
Myself
By Princess
Alexandria
Princess_alex24@hotmail.com
It was dark when she shut off the car lights. Christy just sat and watched Scott park their van next to her and the kids. Well, her and Jessi, Annie and Erik. They'd traded Jon for Jean, so that he could make sure Scott and the rest of the X-men got to the place, or the ones that were left since Rahne had already left town. Jean had been nice company, and Christy had been quiet, letting the redhead visit with the kids and talk about the training that they did.
Once they got out of the car the kids went to get Jon and Jean moved to stand beside her. Christy just glanced at her while watching her kids talk. They were excited to show what they could do to the older mutants. People that would understand better than Christy perhaps. It wasn't a great feeling to be so easily replaced, even though she knew it was best.
"Are you okay? You've been awfully quiet." Jean spoke quietly with her while they watched the kids help the others unpack a few supplies that Scott had wanted to bring with them.
"Yeah I'm fine." Christy sighed.
"I may not be able to read you, but I can tell you're lying to me." Jean moved into her line of sight and stared into her eyes.
Christy didn't know how to respond to that. Annie moving into sight behind Jean spared her. The girl didn't look comfortable at all. She didn't have any powers to show off. "Annie, come here." Christy gave Jean a nod, and moved to stand a few feet away to talk with Annie. She knew Jean could hear her. Annie looked a bit lost. "You're in charge of our people. Make sure they do what they're supposed to and don't let Scott and Emma forget you know your people. What they can and can't handle."
"What about you?" Annie sounded a bit surprised. Christy had put Annie in charge a few times, but many times she gave the orders herself.
"You don't need me." And that was what hurt. Christy gave Annie a weak smile. "Show them the routines, and don't feel too bad if Emma's a bit cold, she's just like that."
"Okay." Annie still sounded a bit unsure.
"It isn't me they want to learn more about tonight. You're a leader, show them that." Christy stood a bit taller. "Better get to work showing them the spot."
"Oh… okay." Annie gave Christy another searching glance and turned to meet up with the group almost ready to hike into the woods.
"She feels a bit better." Jean spoke softly while moving to walk beside her, trailing after the others enough to have some privacy.
"Good." Christy smiled just a little.
"So, Emma's a bit cold?" Christy turned to see a smirk on Jean's lips.
Christy decided it was best to not comment on that. "I appreciate that you guys invited us to the school." The invitation came with airline tickets and rooms in the mansion for the week of their spring break. Emma had brought it up during dinner, and Christy had jumped at the chance. Her kids would work on getting the time off, but if Jessi had to just quit to get it they'd struggle through. They were going.
"We don't normally have to do school visits." Jean was finding her way over the roots on the path very well for someone that hadn't been on the trail before. "One of the benefits of being one of the only schools for mutants in the world."
Christy almost tripped over the large root that normally almost got her as they fell behind even more. "I don't really like training them out here." Christy sighed while thinking of all the resources Xavier and Emma had. She was definitely the poor cousin when it came to training. "No security, cold, dark. I wonder if they can even train in the daylight, since they've never been able to."
"Is that why you're carrying a gun?" Jean's voice was a bit deeper and more serious. Christy was surprised she knew. The kids didn't even know she kept the gun on her, under her coat when they went out.
"It's a dangerous world, and I'm not so dangerous." Christy's eyes traveled to Scott glancing back at them, and the flashlights almost leaving him trailing behind. "but I won't let anyone hurt them."
********
Jean watched Christy as the woman moved in front of her. The trail had narrowed too much to walk side by side. Scott had been concerned when Logan smelled the gun on her and wanted to address it.
"Have you ever shot anyone before?" Jean asked. The way Christy had said she wouldn't let anyone hurt the kids was very definite and confident. She didn't have questions about her ability to pull the trigger. It didn't make Jean very comfortable and would make Scott nervous as well.
Jean watched Christy's steps falter, but the woman started up her pace again and didn't look back. Her voice was flat. "Well I never killed people just because I could. Some people did that in my world, but life was more precious than that. Even if we didn't have a lot of time left, those that chose to live valued it." Jean didn't know what to say to that. Some people had obviously chose to not live, and the random killings that Christy hinted out sounded bad… but Christy didn't say she hadn't killed before. Jean noticed that.
Christy's quite mood was about the kids. Jean noticed the way Christy was watching them today, and the way she'd told Annie they didn't need her. This was tearing Christy apart, but she was still trying to encourage her students to leave if they wanted to. Maybe Jean should talk to the Professor about this, she was starting to feel almost guilty about taking them. Erik had already said quietly that he'd probably be staying in New York when they went for Spring Break. They'd already taken away one of Christy's kids.
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Annie moved to stand by Scott and looked over at the rest of the kids talking with Logan about something. She felt a bit awkward next to the stiff man, but she started to talk anyway. Christy put her in charge. "Jon usually plays around in the treetops, but he doesn't really stay focused on things for long. He starts playing if you don't remind him he has a job to do."
Scott glanced down at her and Annie wished she could see his eyes. "So what do you do about that?"
Annie gave him a small grin. "I remind him often."
"Alright." Scott and her moved to look at the joking group. "And Jessi, what can you tell me about her?"
"Jessi's more comfortable with defending herself with her forcefields than she used to be, but her control when using them to knock things over is really not that great yet. She can keep all the balls tight to her and we can't hit her, but when she pushes them further away from her body she loses some control."
"How do you try to hit her?"
"We started by throwing balls that we'd bring, but once Christy felt that Jessi wouldn't get too hurt we started just using the rocks on the beach. We try not to bring too much out here with us. Christy's worried that we might have to run if someone spots us."
"We haven't had Erik with us long." Annie didn't wait for him to ask. "We focus on his telekinetics here… we haven't even really tried to do much about the Empathy thing."
"Why's that?"
"I think Christy's afraid." Annie spoke softly and then realized what she'd said. She looked up to see the woman standing on the trail, not quite out on the beach yet. At least she was talking to Jean and not Emma this time. "Not afraid afraid, but just… she doesn't know much about mental powers and she doesn't want to screw up."
********
Emma watched the group while leaning up against a tree. The training that Christy had these kids going through was barely more than playing. Annie had explained and the kids did what they could, but it was so far from adequate it wasn't funny. Aside from Annie, who had the excuse of not knowing what her powers were, each and every one of those kids weren't living up to their potential.
"You realize this is really pathetic." Emma spoke when she heard someone move to sit on the log nearby. The lack of any feeling or thoughts from Christy made it her by default.
"I wasn't training them to be heroes." Christy sighed, but Emma didn't take her eyes off of Jean trying to teach Erik more control with his telekinetics. Jean was staying clear of the Empathy as well tonight, and Emma really thought they'd be better off taking that boy to a busy mall for a serious training. They needed people for practice. "But yeah, I know."
Emma finally turned to look at the woman so willing to admit her own failings here. Her eyebrow rose as she watched Christy's expressionless face as she too watched Jean and Erik. Hank and Jon were out in the forest testing out Jon's agility against someone who could actually chase him. Annie was learning a little about sparring from Logan and Scott was testing out Jessi's force field.
"Have you ever trained anyone before?" Emma snapped just a little, disgusted with what had qualified as training here.
"I didn't want to turn them into killers." Christy's voice was a bit quieter. "And it isn't like I'd ever seen a mutant before. These powers didn't come with an instruction manual." A slight smile crossed Christy's lips and Emma found herself once again wishing she could see what Christy was thinking, "Well, most of them don't, but maybe you can write one for them too."
Emma glanced around at the forest and the beach briefly. "Well this is hardly the best place for this either. I don't know how you manage to do anything in a public park." She'd concede that Christy didn't have anything to work with. She was constantly scanning the area to make sure that people didn't stumble across this training, and Christy had to rely on her own rather human senses.
"And I had to actually scout out this spot. This was the best the area had to offer." Christy sighed.
"What are you going to do with your life when we take your students away?" Emma asked casually, but she watched Christy's face carefully. Relying on body language to understand Christy was inefficient, but it did tell her something. That Christy was trying not to think of that.
"I'll think of something." Christy spoke softly and moved to stand up. Fleeing from the uncomfortable topic. Emma just watched Christy walk away, towards the water to stand quietly staring out at gentle waters
********
Scott noticed Emma talking to Christy out of the corner of his eye while testing out Jessi's control. When Christy got up and walked down the beach alone he had Jessi go join Annie with Logan.
"What did you do now Emma?" He asked quietly once he got next to the woman. Emma wasn't known for her diplomacy, and Christy wasn't looking like Emma had said anything particularly kind as she slowly made her way down the beach alone. He glanced over at Logan and noticed that Annie looked concerned and was staring after Christy. It was hard for Logan to keep her attention.
"Just asked about her plans for the future. She didn't seem to care for that." Emma didn't sound like she cared that she'd probably hurt the woman and Scott just shook his head in disappointment.
********
Annie saw Christy walking away and staring at the water. Damn. Emma did something, she just knew it. That woman was a complete bitch and she must have said something to set Christy off this time. Christy normally waited until she was home to get all… sad and anti-social.
She watched as Scott got up from next to Emma and started in Christy's direction. That wasn't good. When Christy wanted privacy, she really wanted privacy.
"Are you paying any attention?" Logan asked a bit roughly, but Annie just glanced at him briefly.
"I'll be right back." She said while she took off towards Scott. If she wasn't allowed to comfort Christy when she got like this, he sure wouldn't be welcome.
"Scott! Scott, wait!" She called out while jogging up to him. He did wait at least.
"She wants to be alone." Annie spoke softly, so that not everyone would hear this, even someone with enhanced sensed like Logan. "She'll be back."
"She do this often?"
Annie could hear some slight disapproval and her body tensed up. "Normally not when we're training, but she's fine. Just give her her space and she's fine."
"You don't believe that do you, or you wouldn't look so worried."
Annie just glared at him briefly. "Not worried. Just give her time." She didn't need anyone knowing that Christy worried her at times.
"Okay, we'll do a little sparring practice before picking up your wayward teacher."
********
It was kinda nice not having to be on guard while they trained. Christy sighed and stared up at a familiar patch of sky. The X-men were much better equipped to protect the kids if anything happened, and Christy found herself able to relax a bit more than she had in a long time. For just a little while she didn't have to be the protector, the one willing to do anything to ensure her peoples safety, and it was nice.
What was she going to do when her kids left her? Christy's arms moved to hug her as she stared up at the sky while deep in thought.
"Making sure the sky isn't falling?" Erik's voice almost startled her.
"I wouldn't tell you if it were." She smiled weakly without turning to see the boy.
"What?" He teased. "You'd just let me get hit?"
"A bullet in the back of the head is more merciful than one in between the eyes."
Erik moved to stand next to her and his voice got a little quieter. "You have some strange sayings, you know that."
"I know." Christy did smile a little at that.
"We're almost ready to go."
"Erik." Christy turned to face him, and could see the others getting ready to go down the beach. "I'm proud of you. I know making up your mind about that school wasn't easy." She had to take a deep breath. She'd miss him. "I'm sorry I couldn't help you."
"You did though." Erik gave her a smile. "You helped me a lot, and you don't have to act like I'm leaving you guys. I'm just gonna get a bit of control and I'll be home." Christy just gave a weak smile back, but she knew once he saw that school he'd have a hard time keeping that promise.
"Well I guess we should get going." Christy glanced back at the constellation she'd spent so much time watching in her own world. That was where the death had come from, but even if it had come for this world the people in this reality would have been able to stop it.
********
Annie was walking in back this time, next to Logan. Her eyes didn't leave Christy as she watched the woman walking along side Emma acting like Emma hadn't said something to hurt her earlier. Annie didn't like that blonde bitch at all.
"Once you see the danger room, you'll love it." Hank was so upbeat and energetic. Annie just nodded. Jean had already told her that.
Emma turned and Annie was shocked to find the woman stare right into her eyes for a moment too long. Emma was a telepath, so Annie just glared back and thought about how she wished Emma would trip and fall on her face.
********
Christy sat in her rooms with no T.V. or radio running. She just stared at the blank screen while sipping her drink. The X-men had gone for the night, and would be leaving tomorrow night after a brief visit. Christy had been a little disappointed.
Still they'd be visiting the mansion. Erik and her would have to come up with a way to tell the others that the boy wasn't coming back with them. Christy took another sip. Or… with whoever else came home from that. She only had a few weeks before she could be alone. She hated seeing endings coming.
She could hear the kids talking energetically about the night upstairs and a sad smile came to her. At least the kids liked it.
"Christy?" The voice was hesitant as Annie pushed the door open a little more.
"Hey." Christy smiled at her.
"Your door wasn't exactly closed." Annie said as she came in and sat down. Christy had to pull her feet a little closer to her since she was resting them on the couch as well.
"It's okay." Christy set her drink down. "I wanted you guys to be able to come talk to me if you needed to." And she was glad someone took her up on that offer.
********
"So what do we think?" Scott had the entire team in his and Jean's room again for a meeting.
"Those children aren't very well trained." Emma spoke quickly and Scott had to agree, but they had obviously learned some things from Christy. The kids said they'd made progress.
After a discussion of what the kids strong points were and what their weaknesses were, Scott felt like his own observations were validated.
"I am concerned…" Jean spoke after a break in the conversation held a little too long. "that Christy won't take the kids leaving very well."
"She's supporting this." Logan was looking like he'd like to pace, but the hotel room was too small for that.
"She is supporting this." Scott didn't take his eyes off of his wife, and he could see Jean was feeling a little upset. "for them, but… when the kids aren't looking, there's just something about her eyes."
"She needs a purpose in life." Emma cut in smoothly and Scott noticed Jean's glare at the blonde. "The kids gave her that and we are taking it away." Emma said that as if it were so simple and not really that important, but Scott could see some similarities between the two women.
"Well, what do you suggest?" Scott didn't want to leave Christy completely alone, and to be honest not having some contact with her or control over her was not an option. There was no telling how much damage could happen if the wrong person got a hold of that woman, with all that she knows.
"I think we need to give her a purpose." Emma stared at him and a slight smile crossed her lips. "I'm sure we could think of something."
********