Title: Underground Egesting
Synopsis: Tonks and Draco retreat to Grimmauld Place via the Underground after failing to contact Narcissa but are distracted by a man named Dung and an evil Bird.
Author's Quick Note: Ack! Sorry about how late the chapter was, but the company that hosted my domain folded and I had to scrounge up enough money to find a new host. And then school hit-- but thankfully I got this out between studying breaks.
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"Narcissa Malfoy was more likely to have skedaddled off to a Beautician Stall this morning and simply forgot to return to the Malfoy Manor in time to greet the Ministry's officials. After all, my dear aunt is not known for her extraordinary memory." Nymphadora smoothly stated, her smile wide and genial, helping to soothe the more aggressive uproar around the bar of the Wizarding Pub.
Draco remembered several occasions where his mother had recalled intimate details of chance acquaintances she had not seen in several years but wisely kept silent. He was old enough to recognize someone on a damage control mission-and intimately involved with the scandal enough to be in the good grace to keep his mouth shut.
"Aye, the blonde ones always forget such things. Too much air up there." A man with hair greasy enough to be a relation of Snape let out with a hearty laugh, slapping Draco firmly on the back so hard Draco thought he could feel his insides rattle about. "You're lucky it's only the women folk who have that trouble."
"Ah-hem." Nymphadora cleared her throat loudly, but her bright eyes betrayed her stern features. "Not ALL females who are naturally blonde are Bimbos you know."
"Aye, hardly any are attractive." Another man let out a raunchy laugh, eyeing Draco's cousin a little too freely for Draco's liking.
Wait a second… am I being protective of that mutant?! Well, being a Metamorphmagus isn't really being a mutant… He shuddered as he recalled the lecture of plant mutations in Herbology two years ago. Some of the resulting plants had resembled twisted human forms--far too close a likeness for Draco's liking.
With a jolly laugh Nymphadora swatted the man away and waved cheerfully at Tom before grabbing Draco by his shirt and tugging him out of the Leaky Cauldron and out into the sunlight again. It was extraordinarily hot in Diagon Alley, and Draco could practically feel his skin boiling on his bones. He could just picture the fine flesh melting-
"You have a morbid look on your face, cousin." Nymphadora said with a laugh, nudging him towards the sidewalk once again.
"Just thinking about how hot it is," Draco replied truthfully, although he was a little confused as to why they were back outside. "Didn't we leave there a little early? Someone might have seen my mum-"
"I doubt that Draco," Nymphadora said solemnly, looking around for a full minute before she led him towards a strange staircase leading underground. "One thing I've learned as an Auror is how to scope out a room to find people who actually know something of value and how to spot those just repeating pub gossip… and embellishing it of course. Now, down you go into the Underground-"
Draco eyed the stairs warily. They were surrounded on both sides by gates of heavy black iron, the pikes resembling the gothic architecture that decorated the Dowager Cottage on Malfoy Manor. Ominous noises that sounded suspiciously akin to the chaos of the busy Muggle street crept out from the stairs, but when he peered down he could see only a foreboding blackness.
Nothing good could rest down there. He thought of all the horrors of Mugglekind his father had told him about when he was younger and he began to feel a sickening bundle of fear deep within his stomach. Please let it not eat me. He thought weakly, jumping skittishly when Nymphadora laid a hand on his shaking shoulder.
"You don't know what the Tube is, do you?" Nymphadora laughed cheerfully, pointing to the square white banner with a red circle. The words "Underground" were rather blandly scribbled onto the banner, showing none of the creativity and magic that Wizard signs always displaced. It was alarmingly still against the busy noises down the stairs, and his fear only increased. Only something inhuman could have produced something that disturbing!
"I don't care to find out," Draco said, raising his nose into the air in an attempt at haughty indifference. "Especially when we could flag down that low class Wizard transportation, the Knight Bus."
"Aye, we could do that but I'm afraid the conductor has a wee bit of a grudge against me," Nymphadora's body language suddenly changed to a sheepish shrug, amplified by her shuffling of her booted feet. "You see... he didn't take kindly to me turning him down."
"For a date? We have to ride a Muggle MONSTER because some Wizard cannot handle a Witch's Rejection for a date?!"
"Actually, it was a marriage proposal," Nymphadora clarified, wincing at the words. "I couldn't very well think he was serious, as I had only known him for three minutes..."
Draco felt his fear evaporate as his belly shook with laughter. "Three minutes? That's all it took? He must have been desperate!"
Nymphadora reached out and smacked the back of Draco's head, causing the hair to fall into his gray eyes. "It isn't funny!" She denied, but she had a glint of laughter in her eyes. "Now, come on, we gots to get down there before the platform gets filled."
Apprehension gnawed at Draco again. "Platform?" He asked weakly, but Nymphadora merely grabbed him by the material of his shirt and yanked him down the stairs.
The darkness revealed to be an underground building, marked by super-clean white walls that gleamed ominously. It was filled by Muggles streaming towards different holes in the walls.
"Come along Draco, I have to pay for our tickets." Nymphadora said, pulling him along towards a small counter. Draco was to busy to notice anything Nymphadora was doing as he was too busy staring at the people. Muggles.
"Alright, let's catch our Tube, shall we?" Nymphadora said, pulling him towards another counter.
Tube?" He asked as they stood in a small line.
The line was so small that they only stood there for half a second. It was much too fast for him-- he preferred things slow and dependable...
"I'll explain later." She called out, pushing them through a strange counter and on to the other side.
"But where... where are we going?" Draco got out between gasps of much needed air in the crowded building.
Nymphadora tightened her hold on his sleeve. "Tufnell Park Station." She called out before pulling him left towards an opening. They stumbled into a long room with a short, circular ceiling. The walls were curved and shined with a strange, pale white coat of paint that screamed Muggle. There were still signs and banners that proclaimed even stranger ads, including an interesting one with a half naked female Muggle. But Nymphadora was pulling him also so fast he couldn't stop to gawk.
"Station? So... this is a train-" Draco began to say when he looked back to see a tube-shaped metallic monster speed towards them. "WHAT IS THAT ABOMINATION?!" He screamed as he stopped, trembling.
"Your ride!" Nymphadora said lightly, pulling him rudely before speeding towards a small section of the ground that was filled with Muggles who looked oddly bored and indifferent to the creature speeding towards them. Several were dangerously close to the white line-- the boundary between the ground and the strange sunken rail that the monster was running on.
"WHAT?!" Draco screamed out over the loud noise, but Nymphadora didn't seem to hear him. They reached the mass of people and Nymphadora began to rudely push people out of her way with one hand, pulling Draco behind her with another towards the white line. "I don't think that is necessary..." He trailed off when his cousin sent him a harsh look.
"Be ready to push! Our single objective is to find an open seat-- highly unlikely at this hour. If you have to, throw a sickie. Show no mercy to preggars women or old farts-- they may be faking it."
"Faking being pregnant?!"
"Aye, everyone wants a seat. I've seen stranger things." Nymphadora said wisely before turning her sharp eyes on the approaching silver THING.
"Muggles are weird." Draco said haltingly, feeling claustrophobic in the tight press of people.
Nymphadora looked back at him, her eyes narrow. "DO NOT STARE at anyone once in the Tube," she said with pure authority.
"Why?" Draco demanded, eyeing the approaching monster. The Muggles around him gave up their act and were staring with interest at the monster as well, readying themselves to pounce upon it like the savages that they were.
"Then someone will talk to you and think you stupid." Nymphadora threw back at him over her shoulder.
"I'm not stupid! Muggles-"
"Enough with that talk-- people will think you stranger then you already are."
"I'm not-" He denied, but the loud squeal of the monster as it stopped cut off. He found himself being pulled through the mob of people as a door opened. A tight press of people were visible inside-- there was simply no way they were going to fit!
"We'll fit! Come on, push!" Nymphadora said as if she had heard his thoughts. Suddenly he was being pushed forward by a rude woman behind him and with a lunge he was inside the monster. The doors closed behind the rude woman, closing off his last escape route.
He turned his face back to the press of people. He was in a Tube, whatever it was, and it certainly fit the bill. There were seats besides the thin, dirty windows that were filled with self-absorbed people reading newspapers and ignoring their fellow passengers. Far more people were standing, holding on tightly to rails above their heads and carefully looking at anything but another person. The mass of people were tightly packed into the iron beast and were making a show of ignoring each other, but Draco couldn't help but gape at everything.
It must have been the lack of air. He thought, feeling strangely lightheaded. The strange wad of nerves returned to his stomach with a force and he ducked his head, remembering Nymphadora's words.
The look at the ground was even worse then the rest of the tube-- food, grime, grease; other things he didn't have words for but knew were sick making littered his sight. The monster began to MOVE and he fell back onto Nymphadora from the momentum-- she jerks him backward with a single push. He wobbled, the lack of air ... the Muggles ... the woman behind him standing too close....
Draco closed his eyes, breathing through his nose. I will not display weakness. My constitution is superior. He thought against the raising illness in his stomach. I...
"Nymphadora..." He said in a small voice, his eyes squeezed tightly. "I... I think I'm going to be sick."
"AHH! We've got a puker here!" Nymphadora yelled far louder then she needed to, grabbing a plastic bag from a seated passenger. "Puke into this Drakie!"
The swarm of people magically repelled away from him, but it was too late. It was over quickly, and Draco was thankful for it-- he'd NEVER been so embarrassed. "Here..." He said when it was done, his legs shaking violently as he held out the bag towards Nymphadora.
His cousin winced, taking the bag with two fingers. The tube began to slow down, and Nymphadora left his side to push her way through to the door. "What-"
"Here you go sonny," a woman said, offering her seat to him.
"N..." He began to say no to the Muggle... but he needed that seat. He took it graciously, or at least as graciously as a 15 year old who had just pucked for the first time in public could. He put his head between his knees and breathed deeply, closing his eyes so he couldn't see the floor again.
The Tube came to a halt but Draco didn't look up. He heard the doors open and could feel the push of people towards the door, but he only squeezed his eyes tighter. He felt a coldness spread throughout his body but the only thing he could think about was his mother.
Where is she? He wondered, clutching his legs tightly. Why didn't she come for me?
"Hey, good job, you caught a seat on your first try," he heard Nymphadora say, patting him on the back.
"I can assure you that WASN'T on purpose." Draco managed to say sourly.
"Yes, I could tell. It wasn't a graceful vomit." His cousin said with a snort.
He looked up and glared at her, but his body was too cold to offer any support in a tirade. He ducked his head down and felt something heavy being draped around his shoulders, a denim jacket by the rough feel against his soft skin.
"Wha?" He asked, looking up. A man, a Muggle Man nodded and turned back to his newspaper, his shoulders now bare of his jacket.
"Why..."
"Draco, mi'boy, you've found the one good and truly noble tube passenger left in all of London. Thank the man!" Tonks said, smacking him on the back of his head-- albeit lighter than before.
But Draco had never thanked a Muggle before. He didn't want the man's jacket-- it was heavy and smelled strongly of coffee, but it was a welcome warmth. He didn't say anything, couldn't, but he nodded at the man who smiled over his newspaper.
Draco felt something inside him lighten, and it wasn't his newly empty stomach. He felt lighter somehow... distinctly different but in a way he couldn't comprehend. Must be the sickness. He thought dismissively.
* * *
It was difficult to maneuver on solid, unmoving land again.
Draco wobbled up the stairs at Tufnell Park Station, his face still pale although the incident had occurred almost an hour before. The rest of the Tube Ride had been uneventful. He'd given the man back his jacket as they had left, feeling strange about the whole incident but not wanting to say anything. He'd even muttered a thank you under his breath-- and Malfoy's never thanked anyone!
Must be the Nymphadora influence. I hope we can reach Mum soon. This has been eventful enough for the summer. He wondered about his mother, but his thoughts turned outward when he looked around him at the top of the stairs.
"Where are we?" He demanded, looking around, trying to regain his bearings.
"Tufnell Park, we have a few streets to walk before we get to my place. Don't worry-- no more Muggle transportation for you."
"Thank Merlin," Draco said quickly, following Nymphadora as she crossed the street. It wasn't nearly as busy as the streets outside the Leaky Cauldron had been, but the muggle cars were still dangerous enough.
They walked quietly down the street, the shadows of the buildings cool against the oppressive heat. It was never this hot in the year-- but Draco wasn't about to discuss the weather with his cousin. He had more important things to discuss-- like refilling his weak stomach. He hadn't eaten since Breakfast and was trying to hid the grumbling of his stomach.
It wasn't dignified to have your stomach speak for you.
They stopped two streets over, Nymphadora suddenly letting out a laugh. "I forgot! Bless my heart, how could I have forgot!" She smacked her forehead and laughed harder, leaning against the cool wall of a building.
Draco looked at his cousin as if she had grown a second head. Which was possible, when you thought about it, her being a Metamorphmagus and all.
"What did you forget?" Draco asked curiously. He looked around, making sure no one was staring at his cousin's odd behavior, but everyone was concentrating on themselves, ignoring the laughing girl. He caught sight of a brown shape flying towards them and was taken aback-- was that an Owl?
Sure enough, as it flew closer Draco was able to tell it was an owl, carrying a small letter. It was also heading straight towards Draco!
"Aye! Bless him!" Nymphadora suddenly said, waving at the owl. It settled on Draco's head for a brief minute before dropping the letter into his hand and taking flight again, it's talons biting into the soft skin of his crown.
Draco was not amused. "What-"
"Read it!" Nymphadora urged, but her hand was in front of her mouth obviously trying to hide her sputters of laughter.
He unfolded the letter and looked at it. It was in a sprawling hand that reminded him of someone... who he couldn't say, but it nagged at him how familiar it was. It was a bunch of gibberish-- he had been hoping it was something about his mother, but the gibberish meant nothing to him. "Merlin gaveth to Arthur the wise 12 Grimmauld Place s of silver and satith down upon his toadstool, glad." He read, scratching at his hair absentmindedly.
"Is that what it says?" Nymphadora said mysteriously.
He nodded. "I was hoping it was something about or from my Mum... telling me where she was or something."
Nymphadora pursed her lips but pushed off from the wall, nodding towards the end of the street. "Hm... well, let's get you to my place and then we can try and send word."
They turned onto another street and Draco was startled to see that the name was "Grimmauld Place." Sure enough, they stopped before a big, if average appearing house with the number twelve.
He was instantly suspicious-- was the house protected by a secret keeper? Malfoy Manor had been in his early years so he knew the rules... but why would Nymphadora Tonks of all people have a HOUSE protected by a secret keeper?
"Welcome to my abode." She said with a sweep of her arm. "This house has been in the Black family for many years... I inherited it recently..." A shadow flickered across her face but was eclipsed by a bright smile. "Why don't you go in and get yourself settled? I have to look and see if ... well, I'll have a look outside for a bit before joining you. The door should be open..." She said distantly before heading out to the street again.
Draco turned towards the door, extremely confused. "Crazy cousin," he muttered under his breath but walked up to the door. It was indeed unlocked and pushed open easily enough. The hallway inside was dark but he walked in anyway, smacking his leg against something solid and crashing without any grace over it.
... It was his trunk.
"Son of a-"
"BETRAYER! SNEAKING AROUND ME! I CAN SEE YOU!" A screaming hag shouted behind a tattered curtain. An unfelt wind pushed the curtains apart, revealing an old woman screaming unbecomingly at him.
"Look, I don't know who you are-"
"CHILD OF A FORNICATOR! BETRAYER OF MY BLOOD! I-"
"SHUT UP already, will you?" Nymphadora yelled at the hag. She reached over to grab a curtain but it swung out of her hands. A misshapen man appeared from a side door and grabbed the other one, and together they managed to close the curtain behind them, shutting the woman up effectively.
Nymphadora shook her head and turned back to Draco. "Sorry about that, she gets out of control sometimes."
The man turned around.
"Blimey," He said, jerking back on his heels to peer suspiciously at Draco, his baggy eyes unblinking. "Why's we gots a Malfoy 'ere?" The putrid man waved his hand in an unmistakable superfine manner when he spoke Draco's surname.
Tonks rolled her eyes at the man's behavior. "Now Dung, he's my cousin and he's here to stay... until he leaves, right Draco?"
"Is 'e bribing yous, love? 'Cos I don take kind to that sort of thing, 'tween yous and mes, love." The squat man curled his dirty hands into fists in what was supposed to be a threatening gesture, but Draco could hardly find any threat from a smelly, dirty, old coot of a man who probably was drunk by the stench of cheap liquor that imbued his body.
Tonks snorted. "Don't you call me love, Dung, or I'll make sure Lupin forgets his potion during the full moon tomorrow!"
The man blinked, obviously confused by her threat.
Did he not know Profess... Lupin was a werewolf? Draco wondered to himself, wishing his cousin would call off this repellent man before Draco's clothes began to catch the odors from the appropriately named man's presence.
"Beggin yous pardon, lo-Tonks," the man added hastily, catching the glare Nymphadora had thrown at him. "Just can yous 'plain why's that's a' threatening?"
"Because I'll make sure you're locked up in the cellar with him!"
The pungent man began to shake violently. "Aws, but you couldn't do that tos me...?"
Again his cousin rolled her eyes, but the gesture was eased by Nymphadora's soft laugh.
Apparently his cousin really did have a foul taste in men. What, with a werewolf obviously living with her... and this RAG lording about her house insulting one of her blood...
"I guess I should.... formally introduce you, or something. Dung, this is my cousin Draco Malfoy. Draco, this is Mundungus Fletcher, a fellow co-worker of mine."
"HE works at the Ministry?!" The whole Ministry must be bonkers to hire a Wizard of such stench!
"'e thinks m' works for the globy M'stry?" The man let out a foul laugh, saliva flying at high speeds to strike Draco twice in the eye.
"No Draco, Dung helps me with cases." She said mysteriously, and Draco wondered what exactly this Dungman could be helpful with. Stealing things? Making a room smell bad enough to produce enough cover for Nymphadora to do her Auror activities unnoticed?
"Wells, I's gotta business meetin in Gloucester. Batty Melphi gots 'ers knickers in a bunch 'ver m' price fors Loony Lockhart's Vampire Romance Books. Nicked 'em from 'ers neighbor, that Snape fella--"
"Professor Snape reads Vampire Romance Novels?" Draco burst out, his face turning a strange shade of purple. He didn't know whether to laugh or vomit.
"Nahs, Nahs, that other Snape, 'im with that good hair, Pericles. Ol' Randy Peri, good ol' mate. Sorry I nicked 'em books from 'im, but he deserved it fors what 'e says to me last week. 'e says m' business is cheatin fine Wizards out of 'ere knutes! But I says, I says cheatin bad Wizards out of 'ere gallons is m' business! Imagine me in business fors knutes!" The deranged man shook his head as if this was the most horrible thing in the world.
Draco began to back up, afraid of the strange man. He could hardly understand the gibberish that was spewing out of the man's mouth, much less stand the foul odor of his breath, which suspiciously smelled like three day old socks even Goyle would refuse to wear.
His cousin coughed and winked conspiratorially at Draco before turning to the aromatic Dung-man. "It was good to see you again, Dung, but I have to send an owl to my aunt Narcissa and see when she will pick up Draco. You know the way out, of course..."
The foul man bowed comically low, the trailing sleeve of his tattered coat brushing the floor, leaving a brown smudge on the floor when he straightened. "Good seeins you, love." He said, turning to leave the house. His legs, however, were so terribly bowlegged he lurched from one side to the other in a waddle of epic proportions.
Draco stifled his laughter and followed his cousin to a room down the hall. Inside on a small perch sat a molting owl that opened one malicious yellow eye long enough to glare at them before closing again. To the right of the owl was an ornate fireplace large enough for Draco to stand in comfortably.
"Is that connected to the Floo?" He asked, pointing to the fireplace.
She considered his words for a moment before nodding. "I think so. Haven't tried it... Aparating license and all... we'll send you to Malfoy Manor in a bit, soon as I get word from your mum. Narcissa would be too proud to run from whatever problems the Ministry sought to lay on her door-- She was likely tear-arsing about, doing the job of two people what with...."
"My father being in Azkaban." Draco supplied bitterly, glaring at his shoes. They lacked the buffed sheen of wealth and privilege-he reminded himself to have the strange elf Kauff his father had raised from the Kitchen ranks to shine them when he returned home.
If he ever will. Draco thought, his inner voice full of melancholy. I sound like a first year Hufflepuff. He shook his head, straightening his body from the top of his head to the heel of his lackluster shoes. He was a Malfoy, after all, and no Malfoy should wallow in melancholy like a ignorant waste of magic.
"Yes, with that and other things." Nymphadora added mysteriously after a lengthy pause, her eyes glittering as she eyed Draco. He wondered what on earth she could be speaking of but before he could say anything the woman jerked the owl perch and jumped back in case the malcontent owl reached out to bite her fingers.
The sleepy owl (who looked three shades past evil, and Draco should know what three shades past evil looked like!) let out a half-hearted croak and instead of lunging for a tasty finger to gnaw on in retribution for the shaking, eyed both Draco and Nymphadora with a half-lidded eye.
"Truly a Slytherin beast." Draco noted, although he was glad his own owl was better tempered than this beast.
Nymphadora rolled her eyes. "Old Batty here is probably more Black than either you or I. She belonged to our first cousin once removed… the old owl was kept alive purely by the will of the House's equally batty House Elf."
"Which one of our Black relatives was it? That… Sirius fellow?"
"No, his younger brother Regulus. He was killed by Voldemort, you know. Believed strongly in the rights of the pure-bloods but ultimately was a bit too squeamish about the whole taking over the world thing."
Draco nodded, eager to supply the knowledge he knew of THAT brother. "Yes… Father has spoken to me of Regulus, said the boy was too much like his treacherous brother Sir-"
"You will not speak ill of Sirius Black in this house!" Nymphadora roared, her hands shaking at her sides and her face awash with a fury so intense that Draco fell backwards onto his rump on the thick oriental rung. "Do you hear me?!"
"Y-yes." Draco managed, backing away from the girl.
Nymphadora shook her head, her face calming significantly. "I can't blame you for what your parents have told you about the brothers-- however wrong it may have been. Sorry Draco, that was wrong of me. Let's just send out a note to your mum and get you home, right? It must be a long day for you, what with turning into a slug and all that."
"Don't remind me, please, Nymphadora." Draco said weakly, feeling sick again. He'd almost managed to forget about that part.
Nymphadora laughed shortly. "Call me Tonks, Draco. I HATE it when people call me by that name." She said as she busied herself with scribbling down a note on a blank piece of parchment. She squinted at the words and scribbled something out before nodding in satisfaction.
"But it is your name..." He began to say in confusion as his cousin folded the note.
"Aye, and a stupid one at that." She said, slowly reaching towards the owl. It glared at her but allowed the note to be attached to its leg.
"Alright you, off to Narcissa Malfoy. And quickly too!" She called out, and the bird slowly ruffled its feathers. "Quicker, please," She said dangerously low, and the belligerent bird very slowly took flight and disappeared out the open window, leaving the two cousins alone.
Draco opened his mouth to speak, but was mortified when his stomach rumpled loudly.
Nymphadora--Tonks laughed again, her voice too bright and cheerful for the room. "Guess we'll save the tour for later-- let's get you something in that stomach of yours."
Draco allowed himself to be led out of the room, but he couldn't help but feel apprehensive. Where are you Mum? And who was that woman in the Portrait... and why did she call me the child of an adulterer?
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Bigger Author's Note: Hallo everyone! Sorry again about the wait, but hopefully the scene with Draco on the Tube was worth it ^.^;;. I'm sorry if I got anything wrong with the Tube, but I've only been on a subway once, so I had to rely on research more then anything else.
Mundungus's dialogue was intentionally being over played…. simply because the scene is told from Draco's point of view and that is how I think Draco would react to a man who's nickname is Dung and who smells like burnt, smelly socks. XD. Also, we have a hint of the mystery plot that begins in this chapter! Also, Draco is SLOWLY getting into the habit of calling his cousin Tonks, so if you can bare through the Nymphadora for a wee bit more everything should be fine!
Next time: we find out why Draco was allowed to visit 12 Grimmault Place; more clumsy Cousin Fun; and Draco finds out more than he ever wanted to know about his mother's family. And will he ever call her TONKS?