A/N: This chapter is a mixture of old scenes from the original s6 episodes, with additional dialogue from myself. There is a fight scene in this from 'Two to Go', but I couldn't be bothered to go through the scene in detail, so it's not written that well. I figured everyone remembered it anyway, but I wanted to add it in there for dramatic effect and because it's vital to the story.
Facing off against Buffy was something the old Willow would have balked at, laughed at, even. She didn't have it in her, that cute, mousey, fuzzy sweater-wearing girl she had been since the day they'd met. That's who Buffy would always see her as, which is probably why she was having such a problem with this confrontation.
Not this Willow, though. She got off on it. The old Willow wouldn't have admitted it. Hell, she wouldn't have even thought about it, not consciously anyway. But this was years of frustration and tension coming to fruition. All of the times Buffy had pushed them away, made a wrong decision, put them in danger...this was payback. Rational Willow didn't blame her for any of those things. She understood and forgave them, not that she thought there was anything to forgive in the first place.
But this Willow, the one standing in front of the Slayer with black hair and black eyes, couldn't care less about that. Resentment coursed through her body like adrenalin, blaming her for everything that had led her here, to this moment.
That first night at the Bronze when Buffy had told her 'life is short' – what a pile of crap that had been when she'd nearly ended up as vampire food.
The night she'd used the restoration spell on Angel – her first real foray into practicing actual witchcraft. She'd done that for Buffy, not that she appreciated it. After all the bad things that Angelus had done, Willow only wanted to do the spell to make her friend happy. Buffy had, of course, repaid them all by running away and leaving them on a Hellmouth all summer without a Slayer to protect them.
She had allowed Faith to stay in Sunnydale with them, to fight alongside them, trusted her. What did the raven-haired Slayer do? She unwittingly broke Willow's heart – not that she'd have cared that much if she had known – by sleeping with the boy she'd been in love with since kindergarten and then tried to kill him. That had changed little Willow, hardened her heart a little to Xander, and distanced her from him. Even then, when Faith had done all of those things to hurt them, Buffy had wanted to give her another chance. Yeah, look how well that worked out when she came back like a homicidal maniac after months of being in a coma.
Then there was all the pushing away that came with Buffy finding a new toy. Poor Riley. He never even stood a chance. Aside from working for an evil government conspiracy-themed military and being chipped and drugged by a disturbed Psych professor who also happened to be his boss in said military as well as a mother figure, he could never live up to Buffy's expectations. Couldn't live up to the ghost of Angel, even though she made him try. She had been so obsessed with a 'normal life', a 'normal boyfriend', she forgot her 'normal friends'. She lived in the same dorm room as Willow, yet they had never been so distanced since they'd met. She didn't have a clue about Tara, didn't want to know, even though it was one of the times Willow needed her the most.
And Xander? Forget about it. Willow had been drifting away from him since the disaster that had been their last year of high school. Friends, but not close. Best friends in name only.
Buffy had only used him as the go-to guy. Need legwork doing? Go to Xander. Need clothing delivered? Go to Xander. Need someone to blame for not telling your own boyfriend the truth about your previous relationship? Go to Xander. He'll take the crap. Thinking back, she didn't quite know how they had managed to pull everything back together when every time she thought back to those times she felt her fists clenching, ready to hit out at Buffy.
Everything that had followed – Glory, Dawn, Joyce, Buffy's death...they were all things that had contributed to this new and improved Willow. Buffy had no one else to blame but herself. All the spells she had asked Willow to use to keep Dawn safe from Glory, they had grown in intensity, and no one had stopped her. Even after Giles had come back and Tara had left and everyone else saw the direction she was heading in, Buffy was too busy screwing Spike to care about anything else.
She knew it was hard for her after she had come back, but Buffy never understood how hard it was for everyone around her, too. To live with the knowledge that you pulled someone out of heaven, somewhere they were happy, because you thought they were suffering in a hell dimension somewhere. To live with knowing someone you cared about didn't even want to be around you. She had slowly separated the group, put them all on edge, ignored things she didn't want to see, didn't want to think about.
Now she was paying the price.
Everything Willow was thinking was coming from a purely selfish place. She knew that but it didn't matter. Nothing did now.
She needed someone to blame, needed somewhere to vent her anger, and Buffy was the perfect target. After all, she'd protected Jonathon and Andrew. Willow had let loose with the Magicks but she hadn't been able to touch them because of the counter-spell, wherever that had come from. They were afraid of her, she knew that. She liked it. They were part of the reason Xander was gone, and she was ready to eliminate all reasons for that.
There had been an exchange of words, and also an exchange of fists, which Willow wasn't quite expecting but found exhilarating all the same. Buffy had allowed them to escape, Willow's ever-caring girlfriend taking them and Dawn away from the nasty witch with her bag of magic tricks who was wrecking the Magic Box. She wasn't happy about her targets disappearing, but she wasn't worried either. She'd get to them, sooner or later. She'd catch up with them and they would pay for what they did.
But for now, Willow stood in the debris the melee had caused, shattered bits of the display cases around her, feeling the strength she had imbued herself with running through her veins.
Buffy stood between her and the door, ready to block her exit. Willow knew she had to get past her to get her vengeance, and Buffy wasn't ready to let that happen, and both women knew it.
"So," Willow said, looking unworried. "Here we are."
"Are we really gonna do this?" Buffy asked, unmoving from her position, accepting that this was going to happen whether or not she wanted it to.
"Come on! This is a huge deal for me! Six years as a side man, and now I get to be the Slayer."
"A killer isn't a Slayer. Being a Slayer means something you can't conceive of."
"Oh, Buffy. You really need to have every square inch of your ass kicked."
"Then show me what you got," Buffy told her gravely. "And I'll show you what a Slayer really is."
And so it began. Willow threw a punch at Buffy. Buffy blocked it, spinning Willow, nearly breaking her arm. But Willow threw Buffy back, slamming her into a bookshelf.
Willow pointed, the ladder sliding across the length of the wall of its own accord, smashing into Buffy, sending her into the wall. Buffy tried to get to Willow, but objects came flying at Buffy from all directions. Books, a chair, a statue, each one a direct hit to the head, the ribs, the face, everywhere that was gonna bruise and hurt like hell.
Buffy got out of the line of fire and made a flying tackle, grabbing Willow, the two of them hitting the ground hard.
"Get off, super bitch!" Willow yelled at her, a sidekick at Buffy with enough force to send the Slayer through the glass counter, shattering it into a million tiny pieces.
Buffy came right back at Willow, grabbing hold of her after more punches kicks and attacks were launched. "I can help you stop," she told her.
"I thought you were gonna show me what a Slayer was," Willow said, punching Buffy and launching her through the counter-side bookshelf and curtain, revealing a startled Anya on the other side, book in hand and chanting. "Well, hey. That's interesting," she said as she calmly walked over to the two of them, Buffy quickly getting to her feet and standing between them. "Anya's still here..." She shoved Buffy right out of the way with ease, the Slayer's body crashing through the small table near the entrance of the shop. "Chanting her little heart out," she said, facing the terrified but still chanting Anya. "I think I've been beating on the wrong gal."
Anya's eyes were wide with terror as she tried to run, but, lightning-fast, Willow grabbed her, lifting her off the ground, the demon doing her best to keep the incantation going. The fear showed in her eyes, though, and Willow smiled at that as she chanted louder before she gave up completely. "HELP ME!" she screamed at Buffy.
"You know," Willow said, "I gotta say, I'm surprised at you," she told her. "On the list of people trying to block my Magicks, you would've been the last. I thought you'd be on the vengeance train with me, considering how much you claimed to love Xander."
"Willow," Anya began, stammering out her words. "Don't...please..."
"Maybe that's all it was, though," Willow told her. "A claim. Something you just said to keep him away from me."
"I never kept him away from you..." Anya said. "You grew up...grew apart..."
"And that had nothing to do with you, huh?" Willow scoffed. "I knew it would never work out between you guys," she told her. "Know why? You weren't good enough for him. But, hey, he was always attracted to demons. I mean, giant preying mantis, mummy " she laughed to herself, memories overtaking her for an instant before her face set again.
"If you really loved him like you say you did...why are you stopping me? They deserve this. They should never have come near Sunnydale. They should never have come near Xander. And here you are, chanting away for the bastards... I guess I was right all along.
"Oh, well..." she said with a shrug. "You can't block my spells if you can't chant. And you can't chant if you're sleepin'..." Willow said as she hurled the girl aside like a rag doll, Anya crashing through the far wall of the Magic Box, landing amidst a pile of books strewn across the floor, slumping groggily.
Willow turned to Buffy, the Slayer about to rush her, stopping her short. Buffy, I gotta tell you," she said, "I get it now. The Slayer thing really isn't about the violence." She surrounded herself with energies, the power streaming at her from all directions as if she were collecting strength from them. "It's about the power..." she said as her eyes turned a further black.
She lifted her hands and blasted Buffy with the mystical energy, the recipient of the blow flying through the air and crashing into Giles' desk, hitting the ground but unable to get up. "...And there's no one in the world who has the power to stop me now."
The second the words were out of her mouth, Willow was hit by a giant blast of power that sent her flying back across the room, painfully sliding across the floor. As she came to a stop, she wiped her face with her sleeve, surprised to find blood coming from her nose, as she stared ahead at the door of the shop incredulously.
"I'd like to test that theory," Giles told her, standing there and looking pure Ripper.
Buffy, still lying on the floor, managed to sit up, looking at the door with astonishment. "Giles?" she asked.
Anya, on the floor across the room, got to her feet and repeated the sentiment. "Giles? "
Giles didn't respond to either of them, keeping his focus on Willow with a grim expression.
"Uh oh," Willow said, her voice mocking and sarcastic, "Daddy's home. I'm in wicked trouble now." She sat up, wiping at her bloody nose with her hand, still a little surprised to see the bright red liquid, the colour contrasting sharply with the black of her hair and the veins still on her face.
"You have no idea," Giles told her. "You have to stop what you're doing."
"Uhh, sorry. Can't do that," she told him with a false smile as he walked closer to her. "I'm not finished yet."
"Neither am I," Giles said as she tried to get up, somewhat shakily after her blow. "Stay down," he told her as he gestured at her with one hand and she fell back onto the floor, wincing.
Anya looked on in amazement. "How'd you do that? "she asked softly.
"That's borrowed power," Willow said with a small laugh as Giles kept his focus on her. "No way is it gonna be strong enough—"
"I'm here to help you," he told her, interrupting.
Willow rolled her eyes at him. "Thanks, but I can kill a couple geeks all by myself. But, hey, if you'd like to watch...? I mean, that's what you Watchers are good at, right? Watching? Butting in on things that don't concern you?"
"You concern me, Willow. Stay on this path and you'll wind up dead."
"Willow," Buffy implored. "Listen to him. I don't want to fight you anymore.
"I don't want to fight you either," she told Buffy, looking at Giles. "I wanna fight him." She got to her feet again, this time with magic, rising to her feet without apparent effort.
"Stay down," Giles told her again, making his gesture with his hand.
Willow made a gesture of her own and blocked him. "No," she said firmly, causing Buffy to move over and stand beside her beloved Watcher. "Remember that little spat we had before you left?" she asked him, "When you were under the delusion that you were still relevant here?" she said, walking closer. "You called me a rank, arrogant amateur. Well buckle up, Rupert..." she said as a magical light that seemingly came from nowhere began to light up her body, her eyes blackened over, a humming noise rising in pitch and volume. "...'Cause I've turned pro." Her voice was deep, resonant, as the humming continued and she began her spell. "Asmodea," she began, "Bring forth—"
Giles made another gesture, interrupting her. "Vincire!" he said loudly, green magic energy spilling from his hands, forming a band around Willow's torso, pinning her arms to her body.
Willow looked down at her magical binding with shock. "What?" she said. "No! Get off!" she struggled. "Solvo, libero..."
Giles continued holding out his hand toward her, and suddenly Willow threw back her head and closed her eyes, apparently unconscious. Her body floated up into the air and hovered above the ground, the band of magic holding her changing to a more contained blue-grey colour.
"What did you do?" Buffy asked, both her and Anya watching Willow warily.
"Contained her and her powers within a binding field," he told her, watching Willow carefully. "It puts her in a kind of ... stasis for the time—" He turned and looked at Buffy for the first time, pausing as she continued staring at Willow. "You cut your hair."
Buffy looked up at him, her eyes tearing up as she hugged him.
Anya watched them, walking up behind them and fidgeted for a moment. "I'm blonde," she said. When they both looked at her, she continued. "I-I coloured my hair. Again. I'm blonde."
Giles smiled fondly. "Yes, I noticed," he told her, holding out one arm to include her in the hug.
Familiarity over, Giles disengaged himself from the girls and looked at Willow, walking over to her slowly, the girl's head thrown back, still floating in the air, unconscious, with her head hanging back. "I'm very sorry about Tara," he told her gravely and sincerely, standing there looking sad before he began to walk away. When he caught the sneer that she seemed to be giving him from inside the mystical hold, something cold ran through him. He turned back to Buffy and Anya, something unreadable on their faces as they looked at each other, and then at him.
"Giles," Buffy began, tears still in her eyes from before and welling up again now. "It's..."
He looked back at Willow, darkness in her eyes he had never seen before, and he turned back to Buffy. "What happened?" he asked her.
"Giles," Buffy said again, taking a step closer to the man. "It...it wasn't Tara..." she told him, trying with all of her might to keep her resolve from breaking. "There...there was an accident," she said quietly. "But it wasn't Tara."
"It wasn't?" he asked, sadly surprised, a glance back at the incapacitated witch. "Then who...?" he trailed off, realisation filling his features, knowing through experience there was only one person Willow cared enough about to want vengeance this badly. "No..." he said quietly, putting his head down. "God, no...Xander..."
Willow watched him smugly. "This..." she began, obviously struggling to speak, opening her eyes a little and craning her neck. "...Won't hold me...forever..."
They had ran as soon as they had hit the outside of the Magic Box, not exactly sure if and how long Buffy would be able to keep Willow busy. They weren't even sure where they were going, only that they had to get there fast. Tara was leading, followed by Dawn, then Andrew, with Jonathon bringing up the rear.
Jonathon slowed, out of breath, panting for all that he was worth, resting the point of the sword he had been carrying since it had fallen into his grasp during the fight at the shop on the ground. "I any more..." he said slowly, only just able to get the words out. "Need to...breathe..."
"Well, then, we need to keep moving," Tara told him as she and the others came to a stop worriedly, glancing around them for any sign of the girl who had declared herself their enemy.
"This is bogus!" Andrew said suddenly, his matching sword in hand. "We gotta get out of this town," he said, turning to Jonathon as a sudden epiphany hit him. "Mexico," he said, eyes wide with prospects. "We should go to Mexico."
"You're not going anywhere," Dawn told them.
At Andrew's glare at the younger girl, Tara stepped forward. "We've just gotta find a safe place to hide you two until we get the all-clear from Buffy."
"Yeah," Andrew said cockily. "And what if the Slayer's dead already? We're just supposed to sit around and wait for Sabrina to come and disembowel us?"
"You do what we say you do..." Tara told him.
"I don't think so," Andrew told her, cutting her off and bringing the sword he was holding, pressing it to Tara's neck, under her chin.
"Okay, you need to put that sword down," Tara told him. "This isn't helping things.
"No way," he told her nervously. "I'm not gonna die because of something I didn't even do."
"Leave her alone," Dawn told him angrily, stepping forward.
"You know," Tara said slowly. "I could use magick to get that thing away from you."
"Yeah?" Andrew asked. "So, why don't you?"
"Because that's exactly what we don't need at the moment," she said. "To be using more magick."
"Let her go, Andrew," Jonathon said suddenly, bring his sword up to the side of Andrew's neck and holding it there. "You heard me."
Andrew's eyes widened as he felt the point pierce his skin. "You let me go first."
"Uh-oh," Jonathon said. "Her."
"It's your move."
"No. Yours."
"I'm not moving. I'm not gonna budge till...right now," he pulled away quickly, lowering the weapon and holding a hand to his neck. "Ow!"
"Tara's right," Jonathon said sadly. "We're not leaving Sunnydale. When this is over, you and I are going back to jail to do our time."
Having heard the tragic news, Buffy took Giles into the workout room at the back of the Magic Box.
"I came as soon as I heard," he told her, nervously picking at one of the strung-up practice dummies.
"The Council?" she asked, standing by the pommel horse.
"The Council haven't a clue," he said bitterly. "About much of anything, really. No, there's an...an extremely powerful coven in Devon. They sensed the rise of a dangerous magical force here in Sunnydale. A dark force, fuelled by grief."
"Willow..." Buffy said, almost to herself.
"I'd so hoped it wasn't her," he said sadly, pausing. "I had thought something had happened to Tara, they said something had happened here, there had been a death. With the power I knew Willow was using, and the way I know she felt about Tara, I just assumed...It didn't even enter my head that it could have been Xander. That's when the coven...imbued me with their powers."
"And sent you here to bring Willow down."
Giles looked at her seriously. "Buffy, what's happened here?"
She unwittingly began to pace slowly across the room. "God. I don't even know where to start."
"Well, Willow's clearly been abusing the Magicks."
"She has," Buffy confirmed with a nod. "She was...and I barely even noticed. Giles, everything's just been so..." she sighed deeply. "Xander left Anya at the altar, and Anya's a vengeance demon again... Dawn's a total klepto... Money's been so tight that I've been slinging burgers at the Doublemeat Palace... And I've been sleeping with Spike." As she finished, she put her head down, something like shame on her face as she spoke to him.
"If this all wasn't so tragic, it'd be funny," he told her. "I just can't seem to get my head around why Xander..."
Buffy looked up at him. "He did it to protect me," she told him. "He saved my life."
"Sounds like Xander," Giles remarked, a small smile on his face. "If he's not bringing you back to life, he's saving you."
Buffy smiled back, nodding. "It's what he did." She shook her head, tears coming into her eyes again. "And look how he's repaid..."
"You blame yourself for this?" he asked her.
"Shouldn't I?" she asked back, no hint of self-pity and asking a valid question. "Willow does. I mean, it was my fault he was there, wasn't it? I brought him into this world of bad things."
"You don't think it was his own choice?" Giles asked.
"I shouldn't have let him," she said. "I should have told him to stay away, to not get involved. Back in high school, it seemed like he was the one who was always in trouble, you know? He was the guy getting beat up, beat down by whatever monster of the week was terrorising Sunnydale. But, looking back, I couldn't have gotten through half of what life's thrown at me without him. But I never realised it. Not in high school. Not in college. Not even when mom died. I've been so busy trying to live my life, protect Dawn...I've forgotten what matters the most. My family. Dawn, you, Anya, Tara...Willow and Xander. Even when I came back, Giles, I was horrible to everyone. I didn't see how far Willow had gotten into the Magicks. I didn't see Dawn pocketing everything she touched. I didn't see how scared Xander was about the wedding. It's true what they say about not knowing what you have until it's gone. I miss him so much already, and the one person I know who understands that...she's going crazy and trying to kill people."
"I don't know what to tell you, Buffy," Giles said softly. "I can't tell you that everything's going to be okay, because I don't believe it will be. It can't be. You have lost a very dear friend, Anya has lost the person who, until a few weeks ago, she thought she'd spend the rest of her life with, and I feel like I have lost the closest thing to a son I'll ever have. Willow feels like she has lost a part of herself. I sense it from her even now. She feels everything good she ever was, ever had in her was connected to Xander and because of who he was. We've been there with them through everything. We both know about their childhood, their parents... Helping her to find that balance again is going to be hard."
"But we can do it, right?" Buffy asked.
Giles remained silent as he considered the question, before answering honestly. "I don't know."
Because she didn't know what else to do, Anya was clearing up the debris in the Magic Box, brushing what she could into the small dustpan she was holding. She stood up from her crouched position, carrying it across the room to the counter, past the still-floating Willow.
"Anya..." Willow's voice echoed loudly.
Anya nervously turned to see the witch still floating, unable to move her lips to speak, and she realised Willow was using the telepathy thing she'd gotten so good at the previous summer. "Willow," she said, trying to sound calm and feeling anything but.
"I need you, Anya," Willow told her. "I need you to do something for me."
Anya twisted her hands together nervously, gathering her nerves as she took a step closer to the floating witch. "I know what you're trying to do," she told her. "And I hate to burst your bubble, but that mind control mojo doesn't work on Vengeance Demons, so why don't you just—"
"Stop talking and listen."
"Okay," Anya said with a nod.
"You need to free me."
Anya shook her head. "No," she said uncertainly, turning back towards the training room.
"You don't want to call out to them," Willow told her as Anya came to a stop again beside her. "I know you don't want to get anyone killed," she said calmly, an understanding tone there that she was using intentionally for pure manipulation purposes. "What I said earlier...I didn't mean it," she said. "I know you loved him."
Anya took a step back, looking Willow in the eye. "Then why did you say it?" she asked, feeling her eyes well up once again. "I know you only tolerated me because—"
"That's not true. I was angry," Willow told her. "I know that he loved you, too. But now he's gone, Anya, and it's all their fault."
"No, it's not," Anya told her. "It was—"
"Yeah, Warren, I know," she said quickly. "He may have held the gun...he was the one who pulled the trigger...but they were a part of it, too," Willow pointed out. "Everything they've done to us over the past few months. They've killed people, Anya. They've summoned demons to come after us. They made Buffy think we were all just a delusion."
She watched Anya react, watched her consider everything looking pensive. "They're the reason Xander was so hurt about you and Spike, you know," she told her, using the emotional bribery route. "The cameras they set up in here? Xander saw everything." She paused for effect, trying to get the right tone for what she needed. "I know that what happened between you two that night was about comfort," she said sympathetically. "You were hurting, and I get that, really, I do."
When she saw the tears falling down Anya's cheeks, she continued. "But these guys...they helped Warren. They were all there when that girl died. They were all there when they were robbing that security truck. It was just carelessness that got them left behind. If they'd gotten away too like Warren...do you really think it would've just been Warren standing in that back yard? Do you really think Xander would have been the only one to be hurt?
"If they escape now, if we let them get away, they'll be back and it'll all start again. They'll come after us, and anyone else who has anything to do with the Slayer. They'll come after you, Anya. Is it really worth all of this?
"The only reason you were human for so long was because of Xander and how you felt about him. He was only connection to this world you could even stand and you gave that up when you guys ended. What does that tell you about mortality and this world you're living in? The people you're protecting killed the one person you loved, Anya."
She smirked to herself. "You want to take away this binding spell," she told her.
Anya looked up at her. "I don't know how."
"I do. Do you want me to tell you?"
"...Duct tape?" Giles asked as Buffy relayed the rest of the events that had taken place since his departure.
"On their mouths," Buffy told him. "So the demon could eat them."
"Because they were figments."
"All of it," Buffy said. "You, Sunnydale... And I was just some nutcase in L.A."
"Of course," he said. "Why didn't we see it before?"
Giles looked at her seriously. "Can you forgive me?" he asked.
"For what?"
"I should never have left."
"No," she told him. "You were right to leave. We're just...stupid."
"I know you're all stupid," he told her with a small smile. "I should never have abandoned you."
"No," she said. "Giles, you were right about everything. It is time I was an adult."
"Sometimes the most adult thing you can do is...ask for help when you need it."
"Now you tell me," she said, smiling. She lowered her head. "I guess...I wasn't ready before. It took a long time for that feeling to go away...the feeling that I wasn't really here. It was like...when I clawed my way out of that grave, I left something behind. Part of me. I just...I don't understand...why I'm back."
"You have a calling."
"But it was my time, Giles. Someone would have taken my place. So why?" Giles looked away thoughtfully, not ready or willing to answer that question. "Right," she said with a sigh. "What's gonna happen to Willow?"
Giles looked at her, straightening his posture like the Watcher she knew and loved. "Well, the coven is working on a...way to extract her powers without...killing her. And, uh, should she survive, you ought to know, Buffy, that there's no guarantee she'll...be as she was. Willow has killed a human being. How will she be able to live with herself?"
"I wouldn't worry about that," Willow told them, standing in the doorway behind an unconscious Anya hovering in mid-air. She moved her arm to the side, Anya with her, revealing eyes that were blacker than ever. She let go of the girl in her grasp, letting her fall to the floor, hard, as she looked them both in the eye. "Willow doesn't live here anymore..."