Not
Myself
By Princess
Alexandria
Princess_alex24@hotmail.com
Christy felt like several eyes were on her as she sat at the table waiting for dinner to be served. The question about how much they all knew about her was answered when Bobby spoke to her.
"So your from a different Earth huh?"
She could see that a few eyes turned to her at that. "Yeah." She sighed. So that was what this was, a chance to see the dimension hopper.
Professor Xavier was seated on the other side of Hank, at the head of the table. "Well, I think we should introduce ourselves."
"Actually, Professor." Scott interrupted. "I was wondering if Christy could tell us who the people she hasn't met are." So this was why the others hadn't come to talk to her while they waited for dinner. It was a test.
"That sounds like a good idea Scott." And now all eyes were on her.
Christy took a deep breath and glanced around the table to see Emma looking at her with a raised eyebrow, obviously curious as to whether Christy could do it or not. Christy's eyes fell on Ororo first, but she didn't know how to pronounce that. "Storm." She nodded in greeting. She didn't care for being the dinner entertainment like this. Her eyes continued down the table to, "Rogue." Rogue was wearing red sunglasses like Scott, and that was new to Christy, but the white strands of hair and gloves gave her away. Her eyes fell on an Asian woman with purple hair. Christy thought for a moment… and remembered her real name. It was one she could say. "Elizabeth." That made the large muscular black man sitting next to her tense and Christy could almost imagine his frantic thoughts of the threat Christy's knowledge posed. "Bishop." Her eyes fell on the blue man with wings. Blue was a popular mutant color as far as Christy could tell. "Warren." She nodded to him.
Christy's eyes returned to Scott. "And Bobby already introduced himself, so that would be cheating." These games of his would continue all week most likely. He wanted to understand how much she knew.
Christy glanced at the platters of food on the tables, but no one was moving to eat yet. It would be a nice change from the scrutiny.
The tension in the room seemed to purposefully lessen as everyone dished up. Christy could hear small conversations around the table and noticed polite smiles directed at her from the women she'd named, but Bishop was still studying.
"So, what did you used to do on your world?" Bobby asked, but his voice held more sympathy and understanding of the pain Christy might feel in talking about it than Christy would have expected from him. He wasn't as childish as she might have assumed.
"I was a teacher, like I am now." She planned to keep the answers to pre-knowledge of the Apocalypse if she could. This could be a harmless conversation. "I went to school in Seattle, a very expensive school. One thing about the end of the world, you don't have to pay your bills." She gave him a small smile at the familiar joke she and the others used to say, but he didn't find it funny. And actually she was paying those bills now, for her doubles education.
"Do you know what I went to school for?" He spoke after a moment and the flirtatious tone was a bit daunting for Christy, but she worked hard to ignore it.
"Accounting right?" She could see out of the corner of her eye that Scott was paying attention to the conversation. Bobby however seemed to sit taller in his chair, as if her knowing that about him equaled an interest in him.
Sometime later Christy felt her eyes going to Rogue again. Those sunglasses looked far better on her than Scott, but why did she have to wear them? Scott was here and fine, so how did she still have his powers?
"Sugar, do I have something on my face?" Rogue smirked at her and Christy felt an embarrassed flush come to her face. She couldn't see that Rogue's eyes had shifted to her through those sunglasses.
"No."
Rogue's expression was gentle, or at least what Christy could see of it. "Then what is it?"
"I didn't know you wore sunglasses." That resulted in a few people sitting up straighter, and letting Christy know that she was being eavesdropped on and had probably been all dinner.
"Oh." Rogue looked a bit embarrassed and Christy felt bad about saying anything. "It's relatively a new thing."
"Ya didn't know how big the school was either." Logan spoke.
"Some of the information I have might be a little old." Christy looked up at the Professor, "Or it could be wrong."
He looked a bit thoughtful at that and then glanced at Emma as if they were talking. "What is Emma's power?"
"She's a telepath." Christy was a bit lost on this. They thought she'd not know something, that was clear. When both Emma and the Professor continued to look at her she felt a bit on the spot. "A really good telepath." She added.
"Alright then." The Professor glanced at Scott for a moment and after another second small talk resumed at the table, leaving Christy to feel like she really missed something.
********
Scott kept his expression even as Christy basically announced that she didn't know about Emma's new crystal form, and she hadn't known about the change in Rogue's powers. The woman's information must not be completely up to date, and that comforted him just a little. When she had been able to name everyone at the table, and some with their real names, not codenames, he'd started to worry. He still worried about that.
Some of the kitchen staff came in and took their plates away after dinner but they all remained seated. Christy looked a bit uncomfortable with the fact they had kitchen staff
~Scott.~ Emma's telepathic voice was almost expected. Scott barely glanced at Jean and then focused his attention on the blonde talking to him silently. ~I scanned Jessi, since she saw what happened… I think we need to know more about what Christy did when she wasn't teaching.~
~What did you see?~ Scott knew that if Christy had killed men in self defense, then this conversation wouldn't be happening. Sadly all of them had to kill someone at some point, and Scott could have understood that, but right from the moment Christy told them what she'd done something hadn't felt right to him. She didn't seem to care about the lives she took, only the way it would affect her own life, or the kids' lives.
~There was one man unconscious that Jessi had to talk Christy out of executing.~
~When did you find this out?~ Scott stared right at her, knowing that Christy was busy talking with Hank about the medical exams scheduled for tomorrow.
~Right before dinner I wandered past the cafeteria and did a little scan, since Christy told us Jessi was the only one to see it.~
********
Bobby was feeling a little irritated with Hank's talk about testing and such, when he finally had a chance to talk to the woman. Still he waited for an opening in the conversation to slip into and steer it to something more interesting. When that opening happened he was stunned that someone else took it.
"So you were a teacher before you all found out about the astroid." Emma had Christy's full attention so easily, and Bobby had been working so hard for it. It just wasn't fair. "What did you do after they closed the schools?" The glass in Christy's hand shook for a moment before she set it down and Bobby looked at her with concern. Emma was obviously trying to upset the woman somehow.
~Stay out of this Robert, this is important~ Emma sent him while he tried to form a defense for Christy's not needing to answer.
"Well, I was a member of a tribe for a while before I moved up the hierarchy to be one of the leaders." Even Bobby could see that was not the whole story, and she didn't want to give it. Still she looked at Emma and no one else as she talked, even though everyone was paying attention to her now.
********
Christy stared into Emma's blue eyes and tried to decide what to do. It was obvious that they wanted more than that and these were trustworthy people… it was just… Christy sighed and looked down first, losing the staring game. "I was a raider and a hunter. I led one of the teams that was responsible for making sure we had food and supplies." And it sounded so much more innocent than it really was. "I was popular because my team tended to do better than the others." Christy's fist clenched safely out of sight. "So I was elected as a leader."
No one was pretending to not be paying attention now. Christy glanced around briefly at all the eyes on her before turning to face Emma again. She was a little surprised that the Professor wasn't asking these questions of her, instead of letting Emma do it.
********
~Well is there anything else you wanted to know?~ Emma sent at Scott. She'd once again been elected the spokesperson with Christy.
The Professor's voice spoke before Scott could answer. "So what was the leadership structure for your tribe? How large of a tribe was it?"
Emma watched Christy's jaw tense for a moment. "It varied in size. People died and new people were adopted in. It was almost always over a hundred… until near the end." Emma felt a pang of understanding in that. To be responsible for so many people that ended up dying was hard, still nothing of her thoughts showed on her face. She just stared at Christy waiting for more information. "The Leadership changed a bit as well. It took a while to develop a system that worked, because Americans like the voting and public opinion thing, and that just doesn't work in survival situations. Finally the group had a committee of five leaders, I wasn't one of them. It was in the beginning." This was sounding like an impersonal history lesson, not something Christy lived through. "After an attack two of the leaders were killed, but we didn't have time to replace them. We were too busy trying to recover from what happened. That was when I became a leader of a raider team."
Emma was impatient with this obviously poor summary of what had happened, and while she listened she started to work on a plan to get more accurate information and more details out of Christy later. Jean and Emma had almost broken through Christy's mental shield in Washington, and here Emma had Cerebra to help her, as well as her students if need be.
********
"We went with the three leaders approach for a while and when the people became unhappy with one of them, I was elected into his place." Christy continued with explaining this, just answering the question asked. She kept to the leadership structure, and not what leaders did or what she'd done on a daily basis. It was too painful to try and remember detailed information about a dead world. "Eventually it changed… the group split. The other group started to fall to raiders and starvation after that. They'd lost their strength, and I became the sole leader of the surviving half." Christy took a deep breath and tried to not show her guilt about that. She'd been a ruthless leader. The split had made her paranoid about treason and worried that if another split happened they'd all die. She'd lose the last of the people she'd sworn to protect.
"I imagine leading such a group would have been very difficult." The Professor spoke softly.
Christy turned to look at him in his space at the head of the table. "You have no idea. I didn't want to be a leader, but the others were fools… they made poor decisions that cost lives. I had to take the position… and they continued to make poor decisions anyhow. Splitting us up… was a big mistake." Her mind wandered to her new tribe, the kids down in the cafeteria.
********
Erik was happy with his new class schedule, even if the new kids said Ms. Frost gave too much homework and was far too strict. He was here to learn and for once in his life he didn't plan to shy away from the hard work. He needed to get control of his powers so he could go home. He missed his parents already, and could tell he'd miss Christy too when she left. Already it felt strange to eat without her.
"So you guys are all from Washington State?" One of the kids that had come to visit with them seemed a bit surprised at that. "What are the chances of that?"
"What do you mean?" Annie asked Myeisha.
"It's just that the teachers rarely bring in several new students at once. A group of newbies came in a month or so ago, but that was the first time I'd seen it."
"Hey, do you guys want to go watch the movie?" Myeisha started to stand up. "They rent a movie on Friday nights for those of us unlucky enough to not have plans."
Erik could feel Annie's unease. "I'm sure the Professor will let Christy know where we are." He told her and noticed the new friends they were making were interested in that. "Christy is our…" Erik glanced at the Annie, not sure how to phrase this one. Annie didn't look like she'd be any help. "teacher." It really wasn't a strong enough word for the woman that had risked so much for them, but it would have to do. Family was another word that Erik was starting to think applied.
********
"Did you have to kill people often in your job as a raider?" Emma's voice seemed much louder than it really was when she asked that and Christy could hear a few gasps from the other end of the table. They were probably stunned at Emma's bluntness.
"A few." Christy's policy with the X-men on this was something she'd thought about for a lot of her flight here, and while she wasn't planning to volunteer information yet, she wasn't planning to outright lie either. "It was a different world. Things were harder."
"You killed people to take their supplies?" Scott interrupted and the note of disbelief and disapproval was very clear. Christy sat quietly as she tried to think of how to respond to that. He didn't have a completely accurate picture, but she'd be lying if she said they hadn't done that.
"Not just to take their supplies." Christy hated this conversation. "Our tribe lost to a lot of raiders in the beginning, and they took some of our women… so no, I didn't kill people just to take their supplies." She turned to look at the Professor. "My world was hell… we did what we had to so that we'd survive as long as possible. That doesn't mean I'd do those things here." Christy stood up. "Where are my kids." She was done talking about this for now. She needed to get out of here. Her heart was pounding too fast and she could just imagine the stares she refused to look up and see.
"I am sorry if we upset you." The Professor started. "We weren't suggesting that you would do anything…" He went quiet and Christy still refused to look away and see the others at the table. "The children are in the T.V. room watching a movie. I can have someone escort you."
"I'll do it." Bobby didn't even wait for the words to end before he volunteered. Christy was too tired, emotionally, to deal with his attraction to her but she just nodded. It would be rude to tell him she didn't want him to.
She took a deep breath and finally looked around the table. "My kids don't hear about any of this. They don't need to know." The X-men she hadn't met before needed to know that these were secrets, and Christy wasn't sure they did yet.
********
Emma watched the large strides Christy took, and the way she held herself as she moved towards the door. That was probably the first glimpse of the leader she had been that anyone had seen since the woman got to this world. She moved with confidence and Bobby had to move faster to keep up. Bobby did turn to glare at Scott before leaving the room.
"Well, Scott… that certainly went smoothly." Her voice was a hint cooler than normal. She wasn't happy with him at the moment. They finally had the woman talking and his black and white morality blew it. Still they did learn more about her than Emma was thinking Christy would have told them otherwise.
"I don't think…"
"No, you didn't did you?" Emma stood up to leave as well. "I have work to do. Good evening Charles." She nodded at him and left, moving in the direction of the T.V. room. She was supposed to show Christy to her room later, and the woman needed to know that.
Her expression had not once faltered during Christy's talk, but Emma did not liking the picture that Christy had been painting about her home. She pulled out her flask and took a drink from it as she continued down the hall alone. The other X-men could discuss what they'd learned, tonight Emma was going to try and find a way around that woman's shield, even if she was certain she wasn't going to like what she found.
********
"My Gawd." Rogue's voice seemed to say it all and interrupt the silence. Jean gave Scott a sympathetic look, knowing that his overactive guilt would make him feel bad about his comment.
"I would like for everyone to try and make Christy and her students feel at home here this week." The Professor started and Jean gave him her full attention. She knew that they'd try to get the woman to talk again later, but for now they needed to give Christy some space. Scott's comment was poorly done and trust would need to be re-established.
"I would just like to say that we do need to keep surveillance on Christy." Scott spoke up so that everyone could hear. His mental voice added to just Jean ~Emma found out that Christy almost executed one of the men that attacked them when he was already unconscious. I'm concerned that she isn't mentally stable.~
"She does know a lot about us." Ororo added a bit slowly. "It is… disconcerting."
"More than that, it's a large security breach." Bishop added quickly.
********
Bobby walked with Christy in silence along the outdoor path to the other building. She didn't seem to want to talk and he wasn't sure what to say about what she'd told them.
"How'd you end up with all those kids anyhow?" A nice change of subject. Bobby watched as some of the rigidness in Christy's back left.
"I bumped into Annie trying to get food. The deli manager didn't serve mutants. She looked so hurt, I just couldn't leave her there with him yelling those horrible things." Her walking started to slow down to a more normal pace. "She's wearing an image inducer now, she's an obvious mutant. Once I realized I knew her… or at least her double… I took her home." A small smile came to the woman and Bobby liked how it seemed to make her seem more alive. "And Annie made friends with the others, so when they needed a place to stay I just took them in too. Jessi's dad is with the F.O.H. and the crap she kept hearing… and her suspicions that her dad was out killing mutants… I had to get her out of there when she came to me for help." The smile was gone, but Bobby found himself listening carefully to all of this. Christy was brave in a lot of ways, for surviving her world, and for reaching out to those kids. "Erik's powers couldn't take living in an apartment, so that's why he moved in."
"And Jon?"
Christy turned to him a smiled. "Jon moved in because he liked Jessi. His home life was fine."
Once they got to the door he moved to open it for Christy and noticed that made her a little uncomfortable. Bobby thought all women liked a gentleman. The noise made it easy to hear where the movie was being shown. Christy turned in that direction without his having to say so.
The room was nearly full, so they had about twelve kids in there. Instead of going right in, Christy leaned against the doorway and was just watching. Bobby picked out the new students easily and was glad to see they appeared to have made friends already. He was pretty sure Christy would have been worried about that.
"You can go in you know." He spoke quietly to her.
"I know." But she made no move to go inside. "You don't have to hang out with me, you must have things to do."
"Actually I don't. I'm all yours." He smiled at her.
"Really Robert, I'd think you'd catch that not so subtle message." Emma's voice grated on his nerves. He looked up to see the woman walking towards them, since they never really left the hall. "Christy, I'll be showing you to your room later." Emma started to ignore him and focus on Christy. "I'll be in my office, which is just inside the main building you just came from, so you can just knock on my door when you are ready."
"Thanks Emma." Christy gave Emma a small smile.
"I could hang around and make sure you make it to her office later." Bobby tried to be helpful and noticed Emma's smirk. That woman acted like she knew everything, and she couldn't even read Christy. Bobby remembered the long discussion the telepaths had about that when they got back.
"You don't have to. The main building is kinda hard to miss, even I can find my way back." Christy spoke gently, but Bobby got the clear impression that she wasn't interested in him staying. Maybe she just needed a break from them, since she had just bared a bit of her soul. Some people were like that.
"Okay, milady." He gave her a charming smile. "I'll see you at breakfast then."
He moved to follow Emma back out of the building.
********
Annie felt like someone was staring at her. She leaned back in her seat and turned to see Christy in the doorway watching the movie. The woman didn't see she'd been caught yet and the lights from the hallway highlighted her in the darkened room. When Christy caught her she put a finger over her lips and gave Annie a mischievous smile. Annie turned back to the movie, following Christy's orders, but a smirk was on her own lips. The woman was up to something.
Annie glanced around at the other people in the room and noticed the five strange blondes were giving Christy an odd look, but none of the others noticed the woman.
The action on the screen became more intense and Jon leaned forward in his seat excitedly like he normally did. That's when Annie noticed the movement out of the corner of her eye and it was an effort to not look. She held her popcorn a little further away from Jon, because she had an idea what was about to happen and she almost laughed.
Jon flew forward with a yelp and landed on his hands and knees. Christy smoothly slid over the couch and took the boys seat, the only seat available now. "What a gentleman. Thanks Jon." Christy grinned wickedly at him when he turned around to see what had happened and everyone started to laugh.
Myeisha leaned closer to Annie, "Is that Christy?"
"Yeah, that's Christy alright." Annie was still smiling.
"Cool teacher." Annie just nodded her agreement.
Jon's fake glare lacked any intimidation and he just settle in on the floor right in front of Jessi to watch the rest of the movie, but Annie felt like her heart was soaring as Christy reached over her to grab some of her popcorn. Seating was so tight that Annie could feel the heat of Christy's body.
********
Esme and her sisters kept glancing at the woman that seemed to have no thoughts whatsoever. A gentle brush over where the woman was showed a shield unlike anything they'd ever seen before. ~Ms. Frost?~ They sent out to their teacher.
~Yes girls?~
~There is a woman here with…~
~Yes, don't worry about it girls.~
~Why can't we read her?~
~Some mutants have a natural protection against being telepathically scanned. We did discuss this in class last fall.~
~We remember that Ms. Frost. You did mention that Mystique had such protection. We just never saw this before.~
~Hmm… Maybe I'll ask her to visit our class next week. You children should realize that you cannot rely on your telepathy against all foes.~
~Okay. Thank you Ms. Frost.~ The girls cut the connection and tried to focus on the movie.
********
After the movie and some joking and talking with the other kids, Christy pulled her group out of the room. "Dr. McCoy is going to do exams on all of us tomorrow." Christy started as they walked towards the girls dorm. "Be completely honest with him and give him any information that you think is remotely important."
"Your getting an exam too?" Annie of course picked that up quickly. Christy stopped walking and the others did as well. The cat would be out of the bag soon enough.
"I might be a mutant. We're just double checking."
"What?" Jon and Erik asked at almost the same time. Christy felt uncomfortable with all the stares her kids were giving her.
"I got hit with some of those darts Jon did, but it didn't affect me." Christy sighed, hoping the kids wouldn't feel like she'd been keeping this from them, even though she had. There was just something off about this and she wanted more information before she shared. "And that mental shield I have… humans aren't supposed to have those."
"But you went through mutant detectors." Jessi looked as confused as everyone else did.
"I know. I don't know what's going on there. Maybe it's a power or something?"
The slow smile Jessi got drew Christy's attention. "You're a mutant. Man that's great."
"Yeah." Erik quickly agreed. "Now we'll have to get you a codename before you leave."
"I thought I already had one." Christy smirked at them. "Bitch right?"
"Only if your power turns out to be irritating hostililty." Erik seemed to be thinking. "It might be you know."
"Oh, cruel." Christy just shook her head in mock disgust. "too cruel."
"She did steal my seat." Jon added less than helpfully.
Annie's hand on her arm drew Christy out of the teasing. The girl looked so serious "A mutant?"
"Yeah, I was a bit surprised." Christy gave Annie a nervous smile. It didn't look like Annie was taking it as well as the others.
"Well, maybe the doctor can figure out your powers too." Annie gave her a small smile and Christy let out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding.
"yeah, I was hoping so."
********
Emma was done with the grading, done with her paperwork, done with pretty much anything she could do in this office, by the time a soft knock interrupted her music.
"Come in." It had to be Christy, her scan didn't show it was anyone else. The woman entered and glanced around the office for a moment.
"Much nicer than my office."
"One of the benefits of being in administration." Emma got up and moved to pour herself a drink. It was a calculated move to ensure they stayed and talked for a little while. "Would you like something?"
Christy looked like she was considering it. "Sure." The woman moved to sit a bit heavily in the chair across from Emma's desk while Emma poured.
Emma started to talk about her telepathy class, while making sure to refill Christy's glass whenever it looked like it was getting near empty. She talked about the danger room sessions with groups of students, anything to keep Christy seating and distracted so she didn't realize how much she was drinking. Hank could give the woman something for a hangover if she got one.
"Told the kids I might be a mutant, I better be now or they'll pity me." Emma just handed Christy her refilled glass and leaned against the edge of her desk.
"Thanks." Christy took a small sip.
"So you want to be a mutant now?"
"I always wanted to be a mutant." Christy blushed and Emma took a sip to hide her smirk. "When I was a kid I used to stare at things so long my vision got blurry, trying to make them move."
Emma chuckled. "We don't get a lot of people around here that wanted to become mutants."
"In my world many people wanted it… we just never got it." Christy sighed and her eyes wandered to Emma's opened window. Emma could see Christy's mood swing, through the deep breath she took and the slump in her shoulders. "I didn't go around killing people for fun. I don't want you thinking that. I didn't like what I had to do, but I did it."
Emma stayed quiet and still, hoping that Christy would talk more. Christy obviously cared what Emma thought about her if she was bringing this up like this. When Christy didn't say anything more Emma spoke softly, trying to not ruin the mood that got Christy talking in the first place. "What did you have to do?"
Christy turned to face her and Emma saw that same lost look in her eyes that she'd seen through Jessi's eyes in the girl's memories of the night Christy had killed those men. "I did what no one else was willing to do, just to buy people another year of life. It wasn't like anyone really thought they'd live after it hit… I wasn't supposed to live after it hit."
"And now your stuck with the memories, is that it?"
A small smile that showed anything but real humor crossed Christy's lips. "I really deserved to live a lot less than the others, and I'm the only one here. The universe really doesn't make a lot of sense."
"Many of us here have a dark past."
"Your past isn't as dark as mine." Christy spoke with confidence that it was true, and with Christy she may actually know if it was or not. Christy stared at the now empty glass in her and set it on Emma's desk. "I really should get to bed. You all like to wake up really early around here, don't you?"
"I wouldn't say we like it. We just do it." Emma set her own glass down, not thrilled that Christy was ending the conversation now, when more questions had been raised. Still, that didn't mean they wouldn't have more late night talks.
********
Christy felt like kicking herself once she was alone in her room. She said too much too soon, but it was the first time she'd been able to talk to someone about what she'd been through… and it was Emma. She really cared what Emma thought of her, which was really why she shouldn't have said anything. Dammit. Christy tossed off her clothes and went to take a shower. At least this room had a bathroom of its own.
********
Once she had Christy in her room Emma went to her own room and showered, killing time. Once she thought enough time had passed that Christy might be asleep she took the elevator down. The Cerebra machine was a modern miracle, making her telepathy ten times stronger than it normally was. She stepped into the bubble and pulled the helmet over her head. It took her a while of concentrating to find Christy's shield and she moved carefully so that she wouldn't wake her. The idea was to find a way in without causing pain, a way that Christy wouldn't realize what had been done.
For four hours Emma methodically went over the surface of Christy's shield, looking for flaws, a crack, something. It was hard to do because there was something off about the shield to begin with. It was just slightly out of focus. Finally Emma had to give up for the night, but planned to keep trying until she found it.