Everybody loves Rei/Bryan, right? Disfunctional Rei/Bryan? Of course they do. Nod. -- Syo, Red gets off for a break and goes on writing overdrive. Expect another fic to be uploaded shortly after this one. Yey.

Contrary to popular belief, it is not only love that binds our lovers together.

In the End

by

Red

Every day is a new battle.

Hair up, hair down; eat breakfast, eat on the run; work late, skip meeting; live, die.

Nothing is ever easy, even when you're in love.

"Goddamnit, Rei, just forget it, I'll do it myself when I get home."

And he stomps out of the room, door slamming behind you. It scares me, these explosions - because for a moment I actually believe that I've done something wrong. I know I haven't, though, and this self assurance moves in pretty quickly to fix that. But there is always that moment of hesitation. What if it is me that causes all his problems? What if I'm the one who's not making this work? But then I remember all the stupid bullshit our fights are about, and I am I feel better. These things aren't my problem. It's not me that needs to change. It's his attitude.

At one point I contimplate theripy. Thank goodness I never brought that idea up. He would have had a fit. I can hear it now. I guess that's what most people would counsel in this day and age, though. Most people would never see our relationship as a fuctional one. Just going out to buy groceries involves a million arguments.

what most people never saw, though, was what happened to bring us together. What we did to bring ourselves together. Then they would say that we were just having a bit of a hard time and should work through it. That is, if people could get past the idea that we're both men. But that's another argument for another day.

In the beginning, we foresaw this horror of a relationship. Really, we did.

Why, you ask, would such a reasonable and intelligent person agree to continuing a relationship doomed to such anger and mutilation?

Well, I can't really answer that. I guess it must have something to do with that little red thread that binds us together and shows up every now and again. Of course, you know nothing of that legend. It is one of my favorites of the old stories that we were taught when we were kids in china. Certain people were meant to be together through the passage of time, and were kept together by a red thread between their hearts. It is an unbreakable thing, this thread.

We have proven it's consistancy.

He was in an institution with no money, no means to make money, and a pending boot out of his sanctuary that was supposed to have gotten rid of him months ago. To add to these misfortunes, he was almost a criminal, having been charged, but found not guilty by a quirk. In fact, I guess you could say all those problems of his were caused by me.

Me, with all my fame, monthly paycheck, friends, family...

He never hated me, surprisingly enough. When I first met him, I was surprised at how laid back about the whole thing he was. Stoic about his placing in life. Nothing but a shrug of the shoulders.

"It doesn't matter - it's just the way things work out."

I want him to be mad at me, as if that would make me feel better for some strange reason. How can he accept such a low life? Why doesn't he fight? It bewilders me.

I visit again. And again. And again.

Pretty soon we can talk on just about anything. Sure, there are places we do not go, but those can be worked around. Pretty soon I'd rather sit on his bed with him then on chairs by a table. Pretty soon after that we touch spontaniously and quickly for the stupidest of reasons. A little punch here, a tickle there.

It seems like everything happens pretty soon.

And then pretty soon we're picking fights and making love in the same sentince. I guess those two inhibitions drop at the same time.

I can't talk about the inbetween years. The years where everything was hard. When just going out to dinner was something that had to be worked at. work was what discribes this relationship. Just making my friends accept him was a challenge, one of the hardest. But we fought together against all of it, and I backed him up and he backed me up, and then finally we were solid and fighters with no one to fight but each other.

I guess you have to say we were right. Maybe we should have never tried, because it was so hard to get where we are, and so little to say that it was worth it. But if we had never tried, what would have happened then? I can't say it would be any better, maybe worse. Because at least now we know we tried. And we can try some more, and maybe eventually we can make this work a little better.

I know that when he comes home today I'm going to love him as much as I did when he left. Even though the first thing he's going to say to me when he comes through that door is an insult. I'll look at him, and think, "My god, this is the man that I love."

This is what I have, and I'm happy with it. I know he is too.

Thanks for the former redblade ladies who looked at it and inflated my ego enough to post this. Much love. Go visit Fierdra and Life sucks get used to it as well as JuliTina. - Hah, teh plugging.

Please comment.