Title: Save Me From The Dark
Author: Princesspepper
Rating: I think I can get away with R.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this story. They belong to J.K. Rowling.
Pairing: Harry/Draco (suggestion of Ron/Hermione, but, of course, that is not important).
WARNINGS: Sexual content (later), adult language, self-harm (cutting, more specifically), kinda dark, and some Ron-bashing in later chapters.
(A/N) :Hem: I'd like to apologize in advance, because you are going to HATE me by the end of this chapter. Just a warning. BUT, I am writing a sequel. So, this story may not end happy :cough: but I promise you that the sequel will. I'll post it right after I finish this one. This is the second from last chapter of "Save Me From The Dark," and I'd like to thank everyone who took the time to review!
Thanks to: Elizabeth Turner, ozumas girl, twodollartrick, Kinky Krooks, Pure Black, potterluvva,personz-of-da-dungoen, Daniels Dark Angel, angelo maledetto, adina, no Siriusly, Confused-Gal,harrypottermove over and Remi!
(Chapter Thirteen: Let Me Go)
Draco was reminded of that night so many months ago. The night he had first dreamed about Harry. That night he had felt far worse than he had almost any time before. And this… well this was even worse than that.
Now he had the knowledge he had to give up the thing he loved most in the world and he wasn't about to do it without a fight. He felt the morbid thoughts flooding back to him. The weight of the world was on his shoulders. And he was alone.
He turned his head slightly to gaze at the unoccupied half of his King-Sized bed. Normally, Harry would be soundly asleep next to him, their arms around one another. But tonight, Harry was in Gryffindor Tower. Draco wasn't quite sure why, but he had a feeling Harry was scared because of the previous night. And Draco didn't blame him; what had happened was quite hellish. But Draco couldn't help taking it personally. He did not deal well with rejection.
He again thought back on that night. Pansy had been next to him that night, which was the only thing worse about it. He couldn't help thinking about how much he had changed since then. Back then, Draco was still pretending he was straight. And look at him now! He was laying in his bed, thinking about the man he was in love with. And not long before then, he had lost his virginity to the same man. And now he was gone.
Of course Harry had every intention of coming back, but Draco had the feeling that it wouldn't make much of a difference. He had to give up this whole charade. Another thing about that night that Draco remembered was what he did after he booted Pansy out.
He had cut himself. And he was getting the strong urge to do so again. But he had stopped! And for Harry's sake, too. Harry would get very angry if he were to do that again. But right then, Draco didn't care.
He hoisted his narrow body from the bed and dragged his feet over to the bathroom. He turned on the light and, squinting at the sudden brightness, edged over to the cabinet. He reached in the drawer and his hand closed over the cool metal of his knife. But as Draco pressed the cold blade to his skin, he realized this was not what he needed. He didn't need Harry to find him bleeding to death on the bathroom floor. He didn't need to be weakened any further than he already was. He didn't need the vulnerability.
So the knife clattered to the floor, but this time, not dripping with his blood. This time it was as clean as it was when he retrieved it from the drawer. And Draco slowly moved back to his empty bed and fell into a restless sleep.
Draco woke up the next morning to bright light streaming through the curtains. It was a beautiful day, but there was no way it reflected his mood. He groaned and turned over, but paused in the middle of his motion. A smile spread across his pale face as he saw what was there to greet his tired eyes.
As it turned out, Harry was back. He had apparently crawled into bed with Draco in the middle of the night. He was fast asleep, a faint grin on his relaxed face. The sight brought tears to Draco's silver eyes as he thought of himself hurting this beautiful creature. But he had no choice.
Draco climbed on top of Harry, planting a gentle kiss on each of his closed eyelids. Harry stirred, turning his head as to face Draco and sleepily blinking his eyes until they were in focus. Harry smiled sweetly and wrapped his arms around Draco's neck. Draco smiled back, despite the pain it caused his heart.
"Morning, love," whispered Draco, pecking Harry on the cheek. Harry giggled blithely, looking up at Draco. He leaned forward with the intention of kissing Harry properly on the lips but Harry refused him.
"I've got morning breath," Harry said sleepily. Draco shook his head, amused.
"You know I don't care," Draco said softly. Harry pouted but complied. Draco tried his best to savor this; for he knew this would be one of the last times they would have an exchange like this. Draco slid his snake-like tongue in and out of Harry's mouth, making him moan slightly. Draco smiled and deepened the kiss, now straddling Harry's narrow hips. Harry brought up his hands to tangle them in Draco's soft hair, pulling on it gently as he leaned up to make even more contact with Draco.
After a minute or so, Draco pulled away, smiling at a now very ruffled looking Harry. But Draco remembered why he had done that in the first place.
"Harry… I've got to go. I'll… I'll be back later," said Draco, wincing at his vagueness. Harry sat up in bed and watched Draco's retreating form, a puzzled expression on his face. But Draco looked the other way at Harry's bemusement and walked out the door.
Once outside, Draco decided he would take a walk to clear his head. He had no idea how to go about this. He couldn't just break up with Harry. Sure, Draco had broken up with people before, lots in fact. But he had always been mad at them or gotten bored with them. And they were never so hurt because he had been acting like a bastard anyway.
Wait… Thought Draco. He was definitely on to something. He knew that doing what he was thinking of doing might only make things worse, but hey, he could give it a shot. So that's what he would do. He would be a complete jerk towards Harry. And then he would break it off. There were doubts nagging at the back of Draco's mind but he pushed them aside.
'Well,' he thought grimly, 'it's the only plan I've got.'
Later that day at lunch, Draco was sitting at the Slytherin table, trying his best to look in place. He couldn't help glancing at the door every so often for he had noticed Harry had not arrived yet.
Finally, after much worrying, the doors to the Great Hall opened and in came a very rumpled looking Harry. Draco tried his hardest not to stare; Harry looked so sexy when he was disheveled. But to no avail. Harry managed to catch Draco's eye and walk over to the Slytherin table.
"H-hi Draco," Harry said, slightly out of breath. Draco merely glanced at his boyfriend and raised one eyebrow questioningly. 'This already hurts,' Draco thought silently.
"What do you want, Potter?" Draco seethed vehemently, putting on a show for the onlookers. Blaise Zabini caught Draco's eye and gave him a puzzled look. Draco ignored the query and turned back to Harry, who had a look of utter bemusement on his face.
"Well I was just wondering why you weren't sitting at my table. You usually sit there," said Harry cautiously, still extremely puzzled.
"Why would I sit with you, Potter? I would die before be caught with a bunch of goody-two-shoes Gryffindors!" Draco spat.
Harry's eyes widened, giving him the deer-in-the-headlights look. He backed away slowly, tears clearly forming in the corners of his eyes. Draco averted his gaze; unable to watch the one he loved get upset over something he himself did. Draco sighed inwardly and continued eating, although he had quite lost his appetite.
After lunch, Zabini caught up with him, looking almost as puzzled as Harry had earlier.
"Draco, what is up with you?" Blaise said, frightened slightly, "a few days ago you were all lovey-dovey and wouldn't talk about anything but Potter, and now you go and make him cry! Did you two have a fight or something?"
Draco shook his head sadly and reached inside his pocket to find the note his father had written him previously. He shakily handed it over to Blaise.
Zabini skimmed the text quickly, his eyes getting progressively wider with every word he read. When he was finished, he folded the note back up and handed it to Draco, who met his eyes. Blaise was a very compassionate person, and this became even more apparent just then. His eyes had welled up with tears as he surveyed Draco with pity.
"So you're doing it for love, huh?" said Blaise softly, receiving a quick nod from Draco, who now had his eyes downcast.
"I know this is hard for you Drake, but you're doing the right thing," said Blaise reassuringly, rubbing his best friend's back in rhythmic circles to soothe him.
"I-I just feel so bad being mean to him!" Draco whispered, "It's like fifth year all over again! Or any year before this one, for that matter," he added.
Blaise nodded, understanding how Draco felt. "You're right in thinking this is the only way," said Blaise sadly, "I can't think of any other way to go about this. Unless you were to be selfish and just keep Harry until your dad gets him," Draco shuddered as Blaise said this. It was truly unthinkable.
"And I'm still not done," said Draco, "I've really got to put on a show here. That way my father will think maybe we really did break up for a good reason. Because if he knew I was breaking it off with Harry just to keep him from Lucius, I would be dead. Literally."
Blaise nodded. "Well then, you should get to work," he said grimly.
For the rest of the day, every time Harry passed Draco, Draco looked the other way. He just couldn't look at his wilted face. So Draco resolved that he would somehow let Harry know that he still cared.
Draco went to the library where he could find peace and pulled out a blank sheet of parchment and a quill. He sat there for a while, sucking on the tip of his quill trying to think of what to write. It would have to be subtle, yet Harry would have to know what it was about. But again, it couldn't be too obvious, just in case it got into the wrong hands. He thought of Harry, with his beautiful flawless smile. And his raven hair blowing in the breeze. His cute little laugh that would ring in Draco's ears for hours on end. The freckles that were generously splashed across his muscular chest…
Draco didn't know how long he had been sitting there, but one thing was for sure: he had gotten lost in memories. When he finally came to his senses, he had tears in his eyes. And words in his head. So Draco began to write…
That night Draco skipped dinner because he didn't want there to be another scene. He didn't want to embarrass Harry in front of the whole school. Besides, the real reason Draco was being a bastard was not because he wanted people to think that he and Harry had gotten into a fight. He knew it was really because if Draco told Harry the real reason they were breaking up, Harry wouldn't see how big the threat was. Harry would go and play hero, and in turn get himself killed. And Draco couldn't live with Harry's blood on his hands. So it had to be this way.
Draco lay on their bed, waiting for Harry to come in. Finally, after what seemed like hours but was only a matter of minutes, the portrait hole creaked open. Harry peered inside, looking very vulnerable.
"Draco?" Harry whispered. Draco just stared at Harry. As it turned out, the Slytherin was quite a good actor. He was completely passive as Harry sat down on the bed next to him.
"Is there something wrong?" Harry said tentatively, "you acted really strange at lunch today."
Draco just sighed, ignoring Harry's question, "You're way too sensitive, Potter."
Harry closed his eyes slowly in disbelief. This was not really happening. Harry began to get angry.
"You know, what is your bloody problem?" hissed Harry, "one minute you're kissing me and telling me you love me, the next you're cursing me out in front of the whole school! Are you suffering from short-term memory loss or something? Have you reverted back to fifteen?"
Draco smirked. "Oh, you want me to kiss you?" he said nastily. He grabbed Harry's shoulders and pushed him roughly onto the bed, sitting on his legs. He grabbed Harry brutally and began kissing him hard, prying Harry's lips open with his tongue and proceeding to thrust his tongue into Harry's mouth. Harry was protesting slightly, but wasn't doing much to stop him mostly out of shock. Harry could have easily taken over the situation, as he was quite a bit stronger than Draco, but he was just so surprised by Draco's brutality that he was rendered motionless.
When Draco broke away and slid off Harry, he smirked cockily again. "There, is that what you wanted?"
"What is wrong with you?" Harry yelled, very disturbed.
"Nothing, you little git! I feel more like myself than I have in months." Draco hissed nastily.
Harry's jaw dropped. "Stop being a prat! This is so childish…" Harry's voice trailed off as Draco's behavior started to really get to him. Hot wet tears formed behind his eyes and he hurriedly blinked them away.
"Aw, did I upset the Golden-Boy?" Draco sneered sarcastically.
"You know what!" Harry screamed, fury blazing in his eyes, "fuck you, Malfoy!"
Draco cackled at Harry's display of emotion, "Ah, see? Right there! You already did!" and with that, Draco collapsed in peals of (fake) laughter. When he finally raised his eyes to look at Harry, the sight he saw almost made him blow his act.
Harry looked so utterly hurt that Draco almost burst into tears right then and there. His face had completely fallen; all anger and hatred gone from his face. All that was there was pure hurt and sorrow. With that and one final fleeting glance over his shoulder, Harry snapped his trunk closed and dragged himself out the door, his depleted will all that was keeping him going.
An hour later, Blaise slowly walked into Draco's room to find him face down on the bed, clearly sobbing.
"Draco…" Blaise sighed, "Are you alright?"
Draco was so far gone that his only reaction was to lash out in anger. He bolted upright in bed and wiping his red eyes, glared at Blaise.
"Oh, sure! Everything is just peachy! I'm bloody fine!" Draco screeched. Blaise knew better than to interrupt Draco in one of his outbursts, so he let him continue. "I just broke up with my boyfriend for no good reason at all! I'm fine! And the fact that I still bloody love him makes everything so much more bearable!"
Draco's small frame collapsed once more in heart wrenching sobs that made him fall back onto the bed. His soft blonde hair was plastered to his scalp everywhere and his robes were horribly rumpled. He was a mess.
Blaise laid down on the bed next to Draco, concern apparent all over his face. He wrapped his arms around Draco protectively, soothing the smaller young man. Draco looked up at Blaise gratefully as tears continued to stream down his pale face.
Blaise studied Draco carefully, admitting only to himself that he was slightly enjoying this rare moment of vulnerability that was being displayed. He looked at the way that Draco's tears clung to his long dark eyelashes and the way that redness was slowly creeping toward the stormy gray center of Draco's lovely eyes. Zabini decided he liked Draco best like this; he was so much easier to be with.
Blaise snapped out of his trance when he realized Draco was about to start talking. "I wrote him a note, Blaise. I just don't know how to get it to him…" Draco said, his voice trailing off as another wave of tears threatened to take over.
"Do you want me to read it, or would you rather it would be kept private?" Blaise asked.
"Er, I think I'd rather Harry be the only one to read it," Draco said, receiving a nod of understanding from Zabini. "But the trouble is I don't know how to get it to him!"
Blaise looked thoughtful for a moment before his eyes lit up with an idea. "I just saw the light bulb go off…" muttered Draco as Blaise looked around the room. He got off the bed and walked purposefully to the other side of the room. He bent down and slowly picked up a piece of silvery material from the floor.
"Harry must have left in a hurry, jeez, what did you say to him?" Blaise remarked, brandishing the invisibility cloak. Draco smiled.
"I think I know where you're going with this…"
"Hermione! Psst, Hermione!" Draco was whispering not too long after. He was underneath Harry's invisibility cloak and right behind Hermione, who was making her way towards the Gryffindor portrait hole.
Hermione instantly whipped around, getting very spooked by the "disembodied" voice.
"Who's there?" she yelped.
Draco took this opportunity to whip off the invisibility cloak, revealing his identity to her. Her jaw dropped and her eyes filled with fury.
"Why you little… how DARE you show your face here!" she screeched, "after what you did to Harry… I ought to KILL you!" and with that, Hermione harshly backhanded Draco across the cheek, leaving a nasty red mark.
Draco squeezed his eyes shut and clenched his teeth to the pain. "Hermione, please let me explain!" he gasped; afraid she would lash out again. She sternly put her hands on her hips and clearly indicated she wasn't going to give him much time to redeem himself.
Because there is no substitute for the real thing, Draco simply reached into the pocket of his robes and pulled out the letter his father had sent him, handing it over to Hermione as he had done with Blaise.
She reacted in much the same way. Her eyes filled with tears and she pulled Draco into a tight embrace. "You have no idea how many tears I have cried over Harry…" Draco whispered into her ear, which only made her squeeze him tighter.
"Draco, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have just assumed like that," Hermione said seriously. "I know why you did it though. And Harry can't know." Draco nodded in agreement.
"Now, there's a reason I'm telling you this," Draco said quietly, shooting nervous glances about the corridor. "I want you to give this to Harry." Draco said, producing the letter he had written from his pocket.
Hermione took it and pocketed it. "But do it subtly. Leave it on his pillow or something. Don't let him see it's from you or he'll ask you questions. And under NO circumstances will you tell him the real reason I dumped him." Draco said sternly. "Oh, and give this to him too." He added, handing her Harry's invisibility cloak.
Hermione nodded in agreement. As Draco was about to walk away, she stopped him.
"Draco, wait. I guess this is goodbye," she said sadly, "we can't be friends anymore. It would be too obvious."
Draco looked at her and realized that she was right. He cautiously walked over to her, and giving up on his restraint, embraced her fully. Before they broke away, she gave him a little peck on the cheek.
"You know, Draco," Hermione said, a small smile playing across her lips, "I never thought I would be saying this, after all those years of us hating each other, but you're really a great guy."
"You're not too bad yourself," said Draco, smiling back. And with that, the two friends parted ways
Later that night, Harry returned from the common room, where he was being comforted by several of his friends, and walked slowly and miserably to the bed he hadn't slept in for quite a while. Just before he was going to lie down, something on his pillow caught his eye. It was his invisibility cloak, neatly folded and placed squarely in the middle of his pillow to catch his eye. But even more intriguing was a piece of parchment, all folded up and with his name written on it.
He immediately recognized the handwriting as Draco's, and felt a fresh wave of fury and sadness coming on. He had half a mind to set fire to it with his wand, but his curiosity got the better of him. He slowly unfolded the note with shaky hands.
He smiled as he began to read over it. It was not in Draco's own words, but in the form of a song, one of Harry's favorites as a matter of fact. Draco may not have written it himself, but the meaning was clear…
…Broken this fragile thing now,
And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces.
And I've thrown my words all around,
But I can't, I can't give you a reason.
I feel so broken up.
And I give up.
Just want to tell you so you know…
Here I go,
Scream my lungs out,
And try to get to you.
You are my only one.
I let go.
There's just no one
Who gets me like you do.
You are my only,
My only one.
Made my mistakes let you down,
And I can't,
I can't hold on for too long.
Ran my whole life in the ground,
And I can't,
I can't get up when you're gone.
Something's breaking up,
I feel like giving up,
I won't walk out until you know.
Here I go,
Scream my lungs out,
And try to get to you.
You are my only one.
I let go.
There's just no one
Who gets me like you do.
You are my only,
My only one.
Here I go,
So dishonestly.
I leave a note,
For you, my only one.
And I know,
You can see right through me.
So let me go,
And you will find someone…
I'll always love you.
-D
Harry's eyes welled up as he read the last words, which were completely from Draco. His tears fell onto the parchment, and that's when Harry noticed it was already tear-stained. It made Harry feel a lot better to know that Draco at least had a good reason for breaking up with him, even if Harry didn't exactly know what it was. Harry fell back onto the bed, clutching the note to his chest. As he cried, he knew that this was the end. At least for now…
(End Of Chapter Thirteen)
(A/N): . Poor Harry! Poor Draco! POOR ME:ducks things thrown at her: ehe --;; Uh… in case you didn't know, the song in Draco's letter is called "Only One" and it's by Yellowcard (my favorite band! XD). It just reminded me so much of Harry and Draco's situation in my fic. I just had to stick it in somewhere lol. Yeah, so one more chapter after this. Nothing too major will happen in it though, it's just an epilogue to tie up loose ends. It'll be a song fic, just to let you know. So, review! Remember, there'll be a sequel where they get back together, so don't hate me too much! Until next time,
XOXO Princesspepper OXOX