Not
Myself
By Princess
Alexandria
Princess_alex24@hotmail.com
"We're at a mutant school. You don't have to hide anymore." Jessi sighed as she watched Annie reaching for her image inducer after getting dressed. The girl was dressed in the nicest clothes that she brought with her and was obviously wanting to make a good impression, even though they'd met most of their teachers already. Jessi on the other hand was wearing jeans and a t-shirt… because they'd already met almost all their teachers. "They have blue students, they have transparent students, they have students that look really different. I think you can go without your image inducer." This was a version of the same lecture she'd given Annie about being able to walk around the house without it since the drapes were closed.
"I just don't want people staring at me." Jessi hated how vulnerable Annie sounded about this.
"If you suddenly change color in the middle of the quarter they'll stare more. You know you'll eventually stop wearing it here… just save yourself the teasing and do it right now." Jessi started to do her makeup without looking over at Annie to talk. "One of your teachers is blue." When she turned around so that they could go have breakfast Jessi was pleased to see Annie was still green. Christy had asked her to help Annie out with this, but Jessi would have done it anyhow.
"So lets eat before we run out of time." Jessi grabbed her binder, which had her schedule and opened the door. She pretended to not notice the hesitation Annie had before finally walking out. The fact that on the way to the cafeteria, before they even left their floor of the dorm, they ran into a girl with fairy wings made Jessi smile. She was going to like being around more mutants.
"There's more to Christy's mutation than she told us isn't there?" Jessi asked quietly once they were alone in the hall. Christy had seemed a bit nervous when she told them she had a healing factor.
"She's having a hard time." Annie's voice got quieter. "Don't push her and she'll tell you all eventually."
"But you know?" Jessi watched Annie's blush. It didn't take an Empath to realize something had happened between those two, but Erik had confirmed Annie's emotions were giving him a headache.
"I was there after she found out." Annie pulled them off the path to the cafeteria to talk near an empty bench. "She's more physically mutated than me and she just found out." Jessi's eyes widened as her imagination started to take off. It wasn't an obvious mutation so it had to be internal changes. "Just don't bring it up. Let her do it in her own time."
"Sure, I can do that." Jessi remembered when her mutation first appeared. She hadn't told her friends about it for a while. It was just strange that Christy was just finding out about her own mutation when she was so much older. Jessi thought mutants always found out about it when they were teenagers, unless they were unlucky enough to be born very different looking.
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Erik had seen his schedule a million times but he still had it out while he was eating. Jon sat with him, but kept his eye out for Jessi and Annie, who were running a bit late. "Okay, I'll say it again. Two P.E. classes is completely unfair." Erik muttered, but he understood the need for the extra self-defense class. That night on the beach made that clear to all of them. He did like this schedule though. He'd never seen a TK class or a telepathy class on anyone's schedule and he now had both. He only had two regular classes and his friends were in both of those. They all had P.E. together at the end of the day. This wasn't going to be bad at all. In fact the only class where he wouldn't know someone was the Telepathy class, but he kinda knew Ms. Frost, and she was his homeroom teacher also.
"Finally." Jon's words made it very clear he hadn't been paying attention. Erik looked to the doors to see the girls were here and getting their food. "I didn't want to be late to Ms. Frost's class." Erik nodded his agreement, but he would have just gone without them rather than get the late speech that the other students warned them about. Ms. Frost was one of the toughest teachers here, and they all had her for first period English.
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They got to the first class before the teacher so they found a few empty seats. It looked like most of the students had beat the teacher in today. Annie didn't sit in the front row like she used to. She sat with the others towards the middle.
Why did her favorite subject have to be taught by this woman? Annie sighed again. She didn't like Emma. The woman was a complete bitch.
"But you will learn in this class." Annie looked up in surprise when she heard the cool voice and Emma was looking right at her. "And we are going to cover Shakespeare starting next week, you should like that." Emma's voice rose and the entire class went quiet. "We have a few new students in the class, so let me remind everyone that I know if you are daydreaming and not paying attention, and I will call you on it." Emma set her own books on the table. "Pull out your books and lets get to work." Annie noticed the challenging stare the blonde gave her before turning to pull out her own book so they could have a discussion.
"Annie." Ms. Frost turned to look at her. "I assume you did the reading, so what did you think about The Great Gatesby?"
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Jon walked out of English class feeling a bit stunned. He'd never had a mutant for a teacher. Christy didn't count, since she didn't know she was one. Now he could honestly say he didn't recommend telepaths. That woman was like a shark, zeroing in the second you relaxed to ask a question.
He looked at the map and the circle around his second period class. He better get moving if he was going to get to the garage on time for shop. "Jessi, I'll see you later." He leaned down to kiss her quickly. He wasn't overly comfortable with the public display, but he'd noticed some boy in the class looking at her and it couldn't hurt for everyone to know she had a boyfriend.
The shop class was a bit of a hike and didn't do anything for his requirements, but he'd asked for it. He just liked to build and fix things and he didn't have his father's shop to work in here. Mr. Summers was already there and Jon had managed to beat most of the students to class. He looked around at the few small tables and gave the teacher a questioning look.
"This table is free." He pointed to one in the middle. "This is a small class. Today we aren't doing anything too messy, and I will warn the class if they should wear their grubby clothes for a class. The rest of the class should be here soon."
"Do I need to get some of my own tools?"
Mr. Summers smiled. "No, we supply everything."
Jon spent the time waiting for class to start looking at the projects other students were working on. It ranged from woodshop to engine repair. They covered a lot. "Oh, Jon… When we do our woodshop sections I was thinking of you being a T.A. You did teach that didn't you?"
"Yeah." Jon stood taller and smiled. "I can do that."
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Jessi felt a bit out of place in the telekinetics class and was at least grateful that Erik was there. She wasn't telekinetic, but Jean had said that her control over her forcefield bubbles was similar and it was the closest class they had for her power.
She looked around at the smallest class she'd ever had. There were less than ten people here. She knew it was a small school, but she hadn't even considered such small classes. Was everyone but her telekinetic?
"No, only about half the class is." Jean's voice was quiet and right next to her. Another telepathic teacher, this was going to be an adventure. Jessi thoughts were full of sarcasm. Jean just smirked at her and continued past her to the front of the class.
"Well class." Jean smiled warmly at the students. "We need to move the desks out of the middle of the room for our exercises." Jessi jerked a bit when the empty desks in the middle of the room moved without anyone touching them and the few students sitting in chairs near the middle pulled their desks to the side. She glanced at Erik and he looked a bit surprised to. He didn't do it. None of the other students looked the least bit surprised, but a few were grinning at her shock.
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"And this is our new student, Annie." Dr. McCoy spoke a bit too loudly and drew everyone's attention to her. Annie nodded tensely and sat back down. She hated starting classes in the middle of a term. She was also the only physically mutated student in class and it made her feel self conscious.
"We are learning about First Aid this week." He smiled at her and made Annie think maybe she was about to become teachers pet. She glanced around the class nervously and no one seemed to pay any attention to this. One of Myeisha's friends, a boy Annie hadn't talked to very often moved from his seat to sit next to her. "Don't worry if he starts to sound like he's talking a different language. The test questions are right out of the books. You read your chapters, you'll pass."
"Thanks." She whispered back.
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Jessi followed Jon into the classroom and noticed Annie had saved them seats. Math was a bit fuller than her last class, and it was a huge effort to not stare at the man? The teacher was covered in metal, like a suit of armor gone wrong. When he turned to her she blushed. "Um is this Math?" She knew it was, but she didn't want to seem like she'd been staring.
"Yes it is. I'm your instructor Xorn. Please have a seat." He had a bit of an accent, Chinese maybe. Jessi slid into her seat and pulled out her book.
"How was Health?" Jon asked Annie. They all had a few minutes before class started.
"He talks too fast, but I found someone to study with." Jessi hid a smile at that. Maybe Annie would find a girlfriend while they were here. Her and Erik needed someone to spend Friday nights with, because Jessi fully intended to spend some alone time dating Jon.
"So class. We have some new members…" Jessi just sighed. Here they go again.
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Christy was able to sleep in a little, but it was a morning class Emma wanted her to visit. She opened the door and found Emma was just down the hall.
"I realized that you wouldn't know where my class is." The blonde smiled at her, "And I didn't want you changing your mind."
Christy smirked. "I guess it's good I don't have time to eat beforehand. I might get sick."
Emma started to walk with her to the classroom. "Many of my students aren't near my level of power, and the girls that are… I've warned to be gentle."
Emma wasn't kidding about her outfit. It was only Christy's iron will that kept her from staring at the woman's chest. Emma had on all white, which was normal for her, and pants which was more than Christy had expected. But her shirt wasn't really there. Just a few flaps of fabric covering her breasts. The long coat helped to cover some. "I think you might actually want to go put on your underwear, it covers more." Christy grinned as she finally just had to say it. They stepped out of the building to go to the classroom building, while Emma just chuckled. "How can you not be cold?" Christy glanced around the damp yard and gray skies.
"I can maintain my body temperature, and you really need to think about what limits you've just been putting on yourself, because I'm betting you could ignore the cold even better than I do." Emma sounded like it was part lecture, but Christy had to admit she had a point.
"So, inquiring minds want to know." Christy had a teasing smile on her lips. "Does being naked in a battle give you an edge?" She pretended to put an invisible microphone closer to the amused blonde's lips.
"I'd be lying if I said it didn't help a time or two." Emma glanced at her and smiled, "But I'm hardly naked."
"Actually, I think you're hardly dressed."
The teasing felt nice. Christy felt like she had a friend in the woman now. Unfortunately they stepped into the classroom building and the teasing air vanished. It was time for work and Emma moved with a predators grace towards her classroom.
Christy felt a bit like a zoo exhibit when they walked into the class and all eyes focused on her. Erik looked a bit surprised to see her. She only nodded subtly to him, not wanting to embarrass him. "Class, I have a guest today. This is Christy Taylor and she's practically immune to all telepathic communication." Emma spoke with authority at the front of the class, and Christy leaned against the wall to wait until she was actually needed for something. She had no idea what Emma planned to do to her. With Emma, it probably wasn't a good idea to agree to help without asking a few questions. Hopefully she didn't make a mistake. "I've said on numerous occasions that you need to learn how to defend yourselves physically as well as mentally, and Christy is here to help prove that to you. There are mutants out there that aren't affected by telepathy. There are helmets that can be made to keep us out as well and you all need to take your self defense classes more seriously."
Christy watched the students giving Emma their full attention and was a little envious. In her classes she never had everyone's attention at any one point. The class was small too, but with about a hundred fifty students in the school, the percent of them in telepathy class was high. About a dozen students were here.
"Ms. Taylor," Emma's voice brought her out of her thoughts. She must have been the only one zoning out and now Emma was talking to her. Christy looked over at her and noticed the mischievous gleam in her eye. "I can't tell if I had your attention the way I normally do, but I believe you were just daydreaming in my class." The quiet whispers of the students let her know that was a big deal. And why were telepaths whispering anyhow? She turned to look at the students and noticed Erik's smirk right away. "I've asked my students to keep their communication verbal today so that you weren't left out. Now if you would like to have a seat on my desk, I believe we are about to experiment on you." Damn that was a wicked grin Emma gave her.
She sat on the desk with her legs hanging over the edge. Emma was right next to her and spoke quietly. "If anyone actually hurts you, let me know and I'll stop it, but I don't think they will." Christy could hear a note of protectiveness and it helped ease her nervousness. "Alright, I want you to look at her shields. They are like nothing I've ever seen before."
The silence and looks of concentration on the students' faces made Christy feel a bit nervous. What was she supposed to do? When she was normally in front of a class she had an idea of what was going on. Only Erik wasn't looking too impressed. Christy exchanged a goofy, what did I get myself into grin with him.
Once that very awkward class was over Erik came to the front of the room. "I was going to meet the others for lunch, you coming?"
Christy glanced at Emma for a moment, "Actually, I have plans." The blonde nodded and Christy felt a bit better. Truth of the matter was she felt ill, but she didn't want Erik to know that this little experiment hurt.
********
Emma nodded to her students and closed the door behind them before she turned back to Christy. The woman had bravely sat there and let the students try to pry into her mind, knowing the secrets she kept. But now Christy was looking a little pale. "Are you alright?"
"Just a headache." Christy gave her a weak smile.
"Don't lie to me. I caught my girls pushing hard and had to make them back off." Emma moved closer and subtly checked Christy's eyes for any sign that the damage was serious, but she looked okay.
"Okay, it really hurts." Christy chuckled weakly and then winced. Dammit, her children should have behaved better. They couldn't sense if they were hurting Christy. Emma sighed as she remembered she'd made the same mistakes with Christy in the beginning.
She walked up to Christy and stood between her legs while reaching out to place her hands over Christy's temples. "If you let me in I can stop the pain." She spoke softly and noticed the surprise on Christy's face.
"I don't know how. I didn't make the shield, it's just there."
"You made it Christy." Emma knew she was tipping her hand, but it was her students that did this to her and Christy was doing her a favor. "That shield is yours and you can lower it if you want to." It didn't look like Christy believed her and the idea of letting her in seemed to scare Christy. Emma just sighed and took her hands away. She was making the woman nervous. "You can lower it, and I can help you, but if you aren't ready."
"There are just some things you shouldn't have to see. No one should." Christy spoke quietly while staring blankly at the wall. Emma could practically sense the trust in the air. Christy couldn't look at her but Emma watched her take a deep breath to talk and didn't make a sound of her own for fear of ruining it. Christy needed to talk. "I did…" Christy shook her head slowly as if in denial of the horrors that Emma knew haunted her. "I did really horrible things to keep me and my people alive. Things that make the killings I did on that beach look like nothing, and Scott already thinks I'm a monster for that."
When Christy was quiet Emma spoke. "It isn't that you had to kill that worries him. We've all had to kill at some point, but some of the others think that if you can't cry over the fact you killed a monster there is something wrong. I don't subscribe to that notion. If someone threatens my children, I'll kill them and I won't let it haunt me like they seem to think it should."
Christy gave her a small smile. "I know." She spoke softly and once again the fact that Christy knew about her past crossed her mind. "and it makes me feel better about leaving them here, knowing you are around."
"None of the X-men would let anything happen to the children." Emma felt compelled to make that clear.
"Unless of course there is a problem with their ideals that prevents them from doing what has to be done." Christy's voice was just a little deeper, a little harsher. "I lost a lot of people to idealistic fools. I'm not losing anyone else. Never again."
Emma hadn't seen this yet in Christy's memory. "Does this have to do with the split you said happened in your tribe?" She wanted to see if Christy would actually say it.
Christy sighed and looked away for a moment before staring into Emma's eyes with her own deep blue ones. "I made a decision, one that had to be made or we'd die of starvation and I was tried and convicted for doing it. They banished me for saving their lives. Told me they would have rather died than…" Christy took a shaky breath and Emma noticed how hard Christy's fist was clenched in her lap. "Anyway… long story short. Those that came with me lived to see the end of the world and those that didn't… didn't."
Emma could see the woman was pulling out of the conversation and planned to change the subject. Before she could do that Emma asked another question. "What did they convict you of?" The eyes looking at her filled with pain and Christy looked away. Emma was sure she already knew the answer, but she wanted to get some idea of what Christy was willing to tell them, or her. It was no surprise that Christy couldn't tell her. Her attempt to change the subject was far less smooth that Scott had led her to believe Christy was capable of.
"I need some aspirin."
"You need to talk to somebody sometime." Emma spoke softly.
"Like you do?" Christy just stared at her and Emma felt a bit uncomfortable with the switch in topics. She wasn't going to let Christy get away with it.
"Christy, this isn't about me. It's about you. You lived through an apocalypse. You need to trust someone sometime. Why not me?"
"So many people couldn't even look at me when they found out about… my crimes." Christy had tears in her eyes but her voice was cold. "Even most of those that chose to go with me couldn't look at me. I can't…" Christy stared at her intensely. "Emma… I can't go through that again. I can't… not here, not with you."
"It was an extreme situation." Emma tried again. She may lose her edge, but this had to be done. Christy was in too much pain. "You did what you had to do. Cannibalism was the only option left to you. It's okay."
Christy mouth fell open and she stared at Emma with such pain. Emma moved forward and pulled Christy into a hug, resting the woman's head on her shoulder. "How?" The tears in her voice made it hard to understand her.
"You let me in… Christy, you control your shields and you let me in."
Her body was shaking in Emma's arms and Emma tightened her hold, while bowing her own head. "I didn't want… you shouldn't have had to see… God no…" Christy was muttering while she cried and Emma just held her.
"You did what you had to. It's okay." Emma started to pet her hair. It wasn't okay. This was ripping the woman apart.
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Jean hadn't seen Emma in the lounge and she wanted to see how the class with Christy had gone. When she opened the door to Emma's classroom the blonde telepath looked up and stared her in the eyes, while holding a sobbing Christy in her arms. The sight stunned Jean into freezing. ~Leave and lock the door behind you.~ Emma's telepathic voice shook her back into not staring. It was shocking to see Emma comforting anyone, and even more startling to see Christy crying.
~What happened.~
~Later, I don't want her to notice you. Lock the door. She's in some real pain.~
Jean slowly backed out and used her telekinesis to lock the door from the inside, but she just stood there a moment. When the students started to look her way Jean walked away. She'd get the details later, but Emma needed to focus on Christy for now.
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"How?" Christy pulled away to look at her and Emma stared back calmly.
"When you sleep. We needed to know if you were a threat and I decided I would be the best one to check." Emma could see Christy wanting to be angry with her. "What you've been through is horrible. I haven't seen everything, but…" Emma sighed. She hadn't intended to have this conversation yet, so she hadn't planned what to say. "you did what you had to and you did it for all the right reasons."
"How much have you seen?"
"From the news reports to the leaders suspecting you and sending those men out with you on a hunt."
Christy's jaw clenched and her head shook from side to side for a moment. "Well, then you missed some things." The tears were still falling.
"I didn't miss that you are a good person put in a horrible situation. I didn't miss how it tore you apart to kill those men even though they were bastards or the way your conscious haunted you when you brought the takes home." Emma had to lay it all out or Christy's progress would be lost. Her voice got softer. "I didn't miss your pain when your people would die or your frustration at being treated so unfairly. You were a god damned school teacher and you were forced to become a killer." She didn't miss Christy's flinch at those words. "You were brave. I wouldn't have fought as hard."
"No, no…" Christy was shaking her head again. "You guys would have found another way. You would never have done that…"
"Christy." Emma spoke softly. "There was no other way. Even if I had been there, I couldn't have found another way. Definitely not without my powers, and you didn't have many powers then." Emma hadn't missed that Christy had been a mutant though. They could talk about that later. Right now Emma was going to get Christy to her room while the students were out of the halls. This classroom wasn't the best place for this conversation.
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