Author's note: Thanks to everyone who reviewed. And I will not tell how this story ends...
I have had some Spanish reviews and quite enjoyed reading them. Perhaps I should add here that I can also read German and French, and if it is not too complex, Welsh as well. So if anyone is out there who prefers to write in one of these languages, I can certainly read and understand them, even if I would not feel confident to respond in all of them.
I am going on holiday so there will be no updates until mid-August. Sorry!
- - - -
Chapter 3 – Days in Lothlorien
Later the same evening.
Elrond, the twins and Aragorn were getting ready for bed in the flet that had been assigned to them. Aragorn, already in his sleep clothes, sat on his bed. He looked very pensive.
"Estel? How did this afternoon go?" Elrond asked gently.
Aragorn sighed. "Probably better than I could have expected. But seeing Legolas again ... it brought back so many memories, although he has changed quite a lot. I cannot really pinpoint it but he appears ... older. He looks different, too."
'He looks different?' Elrond mentally queried that statement. Legolas was an elf after all, fifteen years should not make much of a difference in physical terms.
Aragorn continued. "He told me that he had grieved for me. Ada, I feel so guilty. I know what grief does to elves."
Elrond looked at his foster son. "You know what I think of what had happened, I do not need to tell you again. What did you expect? That Legolas would not be touched, that he would just carry on? He cared for you very deeply, you know that. And yet, Aragorn, there is no point now in punishing yourself any further. I have seen how hard this has been for you, too. It is now important that you manage to find peace with Legolas and that both of you can let the past rest. Make sure that he does not get hurt on your account again. Legolas deserves better than that."
Father and son looked at each other for a long time. Elrond thought that his foster son would have to do some long-overdue emotional sorting out.
"Have you met Haldir?"
"Yes."
"And?"
"It was difficult."
Elrond nodded. That was to be expected. "If you are fortunate, you may be friends with Legolas again. Try to get along with Haldir for Legolas' sake."
"Ada?" Aragorn used the childhood endearment. "I know I have hurt you as well. Why do you still care for me? I am not even your son by blood."
Elrond meet his foster son's troubled grey eyes. "That you are not my son by blood does not matter. You have always been my son." He sighed. "We all make mistakes or take decisions that others do not approve of, or that may even hurt others. But this does not mean I love you any less. I may not always agree with what you do, but this will not alter that you will always have a place in my heart and a welcome in our home."
"Even if Arwen chooses to bond with me?"
Elrond's face saddened. "It would hurt me much to see her stay here. Not to see her ever again once I have gone into the West ... I will not deny the pain that would cause me. But you would still be Estel, my son."
All of a sudden Aragorn wanted to be much younger again, and curl up in Elrond's arms. When things went wrong or he had hurt himself as a child, Elrond would hold him and he would feel protected against all the ill in the world. But he was a grown man now, and his father could not solve his problems for him any longer. Particularly those he had created himself.
"It is time to get some sleep, Aragorn. Try to get some rest." With these words, Elrond slipped underneath his bed covers and extinguish the little lantern that illuminated their bedroom. It was all quiet next door, an indication that the twins were sleeping already.
- - - -
Haldir woke long after the sun had risen the next day, and found Legolas still sleeping next to him. After their long patrol, they were now off duty for the next couple of days, then another short patrol, only three or four days, and then they would have their bonding.
Haldir turned sideways to look at Legolas. The young elf laid on his side, legs slightly curled up. Both his body and face were relaxed in sleep. Haldir gently pushed some of Legolas' hair away from his face. The prince shifted slightly, but did not wake up.
Haldir thought, 'We have come a very long way since we first met.' When they first met, Legolas had never been truly relaxed, even when sleeping, some part of his body and mind was always on guard. At first, their relationship had been mainly physical, they had been attracted to each other, and had acted on this attraction. There was no particular reason not to, they were both adults and otherwise unattached. King Thandruil had not objected, Haldir was a renowned warrior of Sindarin origin, there was no reason why he and Legolas should not be lovers. He told Haldir in a quiet moment that he thought it was good for Legolas to have a lover again.
And yet, soon Haldir had found that something was missing in their relationship. Legolas never truly committed himself emotionally, never gave himself completely. There was always a part he held back. Haldir knew that this was an attempt not to get hurt again, but after a while Haldir wanted to give, and to receive, a deeper emotional commitment.
Haldir also discovered that although Legolas most of the time appeared as the prince-warrior, inwardly he did not feel that he was worth enough to be loved. When Legolas had finally opened up enough to tell Haldir about these feelings of inadequacy, Haldir could have cried. How could someone so young and beautiful, inside and out, think so little of himself?
On that day, Haldir had set himself the task of breaking the emotional walls that Legolas had built around himself so that he could be again the elf that he should be. It took years, but Haldir never lost patience. He loved Legolas sufficiently to wait for him to be ready for a full emotional commitment. And the day did come.
Haldir stroked again Legolas' face gently. He remembered that day clearly. They had been out walking in the woods around Lasgalen, it was a beautiful warm summer day and it was as if the world stood still and everything but them had stopped. They had rested amongst some might trees, when Legolas had taken his hands and looked at him seriously, his eyes surprisingly blue, and said:
"Haldir, I ... I just wanted to say that I love you. With all my heart." Their eyes had remained locked, and much to his shame, Haldir, marchwarden of Lothlorien, had felt his eyes fill with tears. He had waited four years for these words.
After that, their relationship was everything that he could have possibly wanted from a relationship. Once he had decided to trust Haldir, Legolas had opened up completely, no longer holding back either physically or emotionally. And Haldir found that every minute of the long wait had been worthwhile. A few years later, they asked Thranduil for permission to bond, which he gave after some hesitation. The king had no objections to Haldir as a lover, but a bonding meant no heirs for Legolas. 'But altogether', thought Haldir, 'it had not taken much convincing – Thranduil must have seen how happy we were together.' They decided to have the ceremony in the summer of their tenth year together, and that time had now, finally, arrived.
Haldir had some serious misgivings about Legolas and Aragorn meeting again. For years, he had been angry with the young man, for what he had done to Legolas. Haldir also knew that Legolas was deeply committed to him, but knew that Legolas needed to see Aragorn again to put some of the remaining ghosts of the past to rest. For himself, Haldir wanted to know how a mortal could have captured Legolas' heart so much. Although he knew that it would be not easy, part of Haldir was glad that Aragorn had come. It was time to let the past go, and Legolas could do that only by proving to himself that the relationship with Aragorn was well and truly over, not only in name but emotionally as well.
Haldir leaned forward and kissed Legolas gently. The younger elf's eyes slowly focused and he smiled. He responded to Haldir's kisses by pulling him close.
They missed breakfast completely that morning.
- - - -
Elrond had spent the morning with his parents-in-law, catching up on news. They had not seen each other in a while, and this was a good opportunity to renew old ties. But Celeborn and Galadriel also had other commitments for this day and when it came to the time for the midday meal, Elrond made his way to the Common Hall by himself.
When he arrived there, he saw Haldir and Legolas sitting by themselves at a table near one of the large windows, eating a simple meal of bread and soup. He approached their table. Both elves stood up when they saw him, and Legolas' face lit up with a smile.
"Lord Elrond! I am so pleased that you have come!"
"Legolas, there is no need to be formal. We have known each other too long for that. It is good to see you." Elrond briefly clasped Legolas' shoulders, and he, too allowed himself a smile. Then he turned to Haldir.
"Greetings, Haldir. May I thank you for inviting me to your bonding?"
"Greetings to you as well, Lord Elrond. There is no need for thanks, Legolas' friends are always welcome here."
For a brief moment, Elrond regarded the two elves in front of him. Aragorn had been right, after all, Legolas had changed. Elrond also noticed the subtle signs of greater physical and emotional maturity in the young archer, quite apart from different clothing and hairstyle.
Haldir, too, looked very different from the occasions when Elrond had seen him before. The few times they had met, the marchwarden had always worn formal clothing and his deep red robe, sign of his status as the Guardian of Lorien. His hair had always been braided into warrior braids, and his expression had usually been coldly formal. But today he wore simple tan- coloured leggings and a sleeveless, open-necked tunic that showed his muscular arms. His light hair was unbraided and just tied together loosely in the neck with a leather band. He looked much younger and less stern than Elrond had ever thought possible. 'I can see why Legolas might be attracted to him,' thought Elrond.
"Would you mind if I joined you?"
"Please feel free," Haldir indicated at an empty chair before sitting down.
"I will just get myself some food and then join you."
Somewhat to Haldir's surprise, the next hour past quickly. He had never met Elrond socially, and had never had an opportunity to talk to him. When Elrond joined their table, he had feared awkward silences, after all Elrond was Aragorn's adopted father. But instead he soon found himself talking to Elrond easily, surprised by the ready acceptance of the older elf. They exchanged news and talked about life in Imladris and Lothlorien, about changes in the land, and who had left for the West.
Finally, Legolas mentioned that they had promised to meet up with some of the other warriors to go for a swim in the afternoon, and they left the Hall together. It was only then that Haldir asked where Elrond's sons were. It turned out that all three had taken up an archery challenge by some of the Lorien elves, and Elrond had not seen them since the morning.
As Haldir and Legolas made their way to the river. Haldir said: "I can now understand why you like him so much. I never had an opportunity to meet him socially."
Legolas smiled. "Elrond has helped me through some difficult times. I feel much as if I was a second father to me."
Haldir changed the topic. "Legolas, when do you think your father will arrive? He should have been here by now!"
"Haldir, you know how it is with him. Something comes up and he is delayed. Such are the joys of being a king. But he will be here for our bonding, I have no doubt."
Talking, they had arrived at the river, where some of their companions already waited. They spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying some carefree time with their friends.
TBC. Please review.
I have had some Spanish reviews and quite enjoyed reading them. Perhaps I should add here that I can also read German and French, and if it is not too complex, Welsh as well. So if anyone is out there who prefers to write in one of these languages, I can certainly read and understand them, even if I would not feel confident to respond in all of them.
I am going on holiday so there will be no updates until mid-August. Sorry!
- - - -
Chapter 3 – Days in Lothlorien
Later the same evening.
Elrond, the twins and Aragorn were getting ready for bed in the flet that had been assigned to them. Aragorn, already in his sleep clothes, sat on his bed. He looked very pensive.
"Estel? How did this afternoon go?" Elrond asked gently.
Aragorn sighed. "Probably better than I could have expected. But seeing Legolas again ... it brought back so many memories, although he has changed quite a lot. I cannot really pinpoint it but he appears ... older. He looks different, too."
'He looks different?' Elrond mentally queried that statement. Legolas was an elf after all, fifteen years should not make much of a difference in physical terms.
Aragorn continued. "He told me that he had grieved for me. Ada, I feel so guilty. I know what grief does to elves."
Elrond looked at his foster son. "You know what I think of what had happened, I do not need to tell you again. What did you expect? That Legolas would not be touched, that he would just carry on? He cared for you very deeply, you know that. And yet, Aragorn, there is no point now in punishing yourself any further. I have seen how hard this has been for you, too. It is now important that you manage to find peace with Legolas and that both of you can let the past rest. Make sure that he does not get hurt on your account again. Legolas deserves better than that."
Father and son looked at each other for a long time. Elrond thought that his foster son would have to do some long-overdue emotional sorting out.
"Have you met Haldir?"
"Yes."
"And?"
"It was difficult."
Elrond nodded. That was to be expected. "If you are fortunate, you may be friends with Legolas again. Try to get along with Haldir for Legolas' sake."
"Ada?" Aragorn used the childhood endearment. "I know I have hurt you as well. Why do you still care for me? I am not even your son by blood."
Elrond meet his foster son's troubled grey eyes. "That you are not my son by blood does not matter. You have always been my son." He sighed. "We all make mistakes or take decisions that others do not approve of, or that may even hurt others. But this does not mean I love you any less. I may not always agree with what you do, but this will not alter that you will always have a place in my heart and a welcome in our home."
"Even if Arwen chooses to bond with me?"
Elrond's face saddened. "It would hurt me much to see her stay here. Not to see her ever again once I have gone into the West ... I will not deny the pain that would cause me. But you would still be Estel, my son."
All of a sudden Aragorn wanted to be much younger again, and curl up in Elrond's arms. When things went wrong or he had hurt himself as a child, Elrond would hold him and he would feel protected against all the ill in the world. But he was a grown man now, and his father could not solve his problems for him any longer. Particularly those he had created himself.
"It is time to get some sleep, Aragorn. Try to get some rest." With these words, Elrond slipped underneath his bed covers and extinguish the little lantern that illuminated their bedroom. It was all quiet next door, an indication that the twins were sleeping already.
- - - -
Haldir woke long after the sun had risen the next day, and found Legolas still sleeping next to him. After their long patrol, they were now off duty for the next couple of days, then another short patrol, only three or four days, and then they would have their bonding.
Haldir turned sideways to look at Legolas. The young elf laid on his side, legs slightly curled up. Both his body and face were relaxed in sleep. Haldir gently pushed some of Legolas' hair away from his face. The prince shifted slightly, but did not wake up.
Haldir thought, 'We have come a very long way since we first met.' When they first met, Legolas had never been truly relaxed, even when sleeping, some part of his body and mind was always on guard. At first, their relationship had been mainly physical, they had been attracted to each other, and had acted on this attraction. There was no particular reason not to, they were both adults and otherwise unattached. King Thandruil had not objected, Haldir was a renowned warrior of Sindarin origin, there was no reason why he and Legolas should not be lovers. He told Haldir in a quiet moment that he thought it was good for Legolas to have a lover again.
And yet, soon Haldir had found that something was missing in their relationship. Legolas never truly committed himself emotionally, never gave himself completely. There was always a part he held back. Haldir knew that this was an attempt not to get hurt again, but after a while Haldir wanted to give, and to receive, a deeper emotional commitment.
Haldir also discovered that although Legolas most of the time appeared as the prince-warrior, inwardly he did not feel that he was worth enough to be loved. When Legolas had finally opened up enough to tell Haldir about these feelings of inadequacy, Haldir could have cried. How could someone so young and beautiful, inside and out, think so little of himself?
On that day, Haldir had set himself the task of breaking the emotional walls that Legolas had built around himself so that he could be again the elf that he should be. It took years, but Haldir never lost patience. He loved Legolas sufficiently to wait for him to be ready for a full emotional commitment. And the day did come.
Haldir stroked again Legolas' face gently. He remembered that day clearly. They had been out walking in the woods around Lasgalen, it was a beautiful warm summer day and it was as if the world stood still and everything but them had stopped. They had rested amongst some might trees, when Legolas had taken his hands and looked at him seriously, his eyes surprisingly blue, and said:
"Haldir, I ... I just wanted to say that I love you. With all my heart." Their eyes had remained locked, and much to his shame, Haldir, marchwarden of Lothlorien, had felt his eyes fill with tears. He had waited four years for these words.
After that, their relationship was everything that he could have possibly wanted from a relationship. Once he had decided to trust Haldir, Legolas had opened up completely, no longer holding back either physically or emotionally. And Haldir found that every minute of the long wait had been worthwhile. A few years later, they asked Thranduil for permission to bond, which he gave after some hesitation. The king had no objections to Haldir as a lover, but a bonding meant no heirs for Legolas. 'But altogether', thought Haldir, 'it had not taken much convincing – Thranduil must have seen how happy we were together.' They decided to have the ceremony in the summer of their tenth year together, and that time had now, finally, arrived.
Haldir had some serious misgivings about Legolas and Aragorn meeting again. For years, he had been angry with the young man, for what he had done to Legolas. Haldir also knew that Legolas was deeply committed to him, but knew that Legolas needed to see Aragorn again to put some of the remaining ghosts of the past to rest. For himself, Haldir wanted to know how a mortal could have captured Legolas' heart so much. Although he knew that it would be not easy, part of Haldir was glad that Aragorn had come. It was time to let the past go, and Legolas could do that only by proving to himself that the relationship with Aragorn was well and truly over, not only in name but emotionally as well.
Haldir leaned forward and kissed Legolas gently. The younger elf's eyes slowly focused and he smiled. He responded to Haldir's kisses by pulling him close.
They missed breakfast completely that morning.
- - - -
Elrond had spent the morning with his parents-in-law, catching up on news. They had not seen each other in a while, and this was a good opportunity to renew old ties. But Celeborn and Galadriel also had other commitments for this day and when it came to the time for the midday meal, Elrond made his way to the Common Hall by himself.
When he arrived there, he saw Haldir and Legolas sitting by themselves at a table near one of the large windows, eating a simple meal of bread and soup. He approached their table. Both elves stood up when they saw him, and Legolas' face lit up with a smile.
"Lord Elrond! I am so pleased that you have come!"
"Legolas, there is no need to be formal. We have known each other too long for that. It is good to see you." Elrond briefly clasped Legolas' shoulders, and he, too allowed himself a smile. Then he turned to Haldir.
"Greetings, Haldir. May I thank you for inviting me to your bonding?"
"Greetings to you as well, Lord Elrond. There is no need for thanks, Legolas' friends are always welcome here."
For a brief moment, Elrond regarded the two elves in front of him. Aragorn had been right, after all, Legolas had changed. Elrond also noticed the subtle signs of greater physical and emotional maturity in the young archer, quite apart from different clothing and hairstyle.
Haldir, too, looked very different from the occasions when Elrond had seen him before. The few times they had met, the marchwarden had always worn formal clothing and his deep red robe, sign of his status as the Guardian of Lorien. His hair had always been braided into warrior braids, and his expression had usually been coldly formal. But today he wore simple tan- coloured leggings and a sleeveless, open-necked tunic that showed his muscular arms. His light hair was unbraided and just tied together loosely in the neck with a leather band. He looked much younger and less stern than Elrond had ever thought possible. 'I can see why Legolas might be attracted to him,' thought Elrond.
"Would you mind if I joined you?"
"Please feel free," Haldir indicated at an empty chair before sitting down.
"I will just get myself some food and then join you."
Somewhat to Haldir's surprise, the next hour past quickly. He had never met Elrond socially, and had never had an opportunity to talk to him. When Elrond joined their table, he had feared awkward silences, after all Elrond was Aragorn's adopted father. But instead he soon found himself talking to Elrond easily, surprised by the ready acceptance of the older elf. They exchanged news and talked about life in Imladris and Lothlorien, about changes in the land, and who had left for the West.
Finally, Legolas mentioned that they had promised to meet up with some of the other warriors to go for a swim in the afternoon, and they left the Hall together. It was only then that Haldir asked where Elrond's sons were. It turned out that all three had taken up an archery challenge by some of the Lorien elves, and Elrond had not seen them since the morning.
As Haldir and Legolas made their way to the river. Haldir said: "I can now understand why you like him so much. I never had an opportunity to meet him socially."
Legolas smiled. "Elrond has helped me through some difficult times. I feel much as if I was a second father to me."
Haldir changed the topic. "Legolas, when do you think your father will arrive? He should have been here by now!"
"Haldir, you know how it is with him. Something comes up and he is delayed. Such are the joys of being a king. But he will be here for our bonding, I have no doubt."
Talking, they had arrived at the river, where some of their companions already waited. They spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying some carefree time with their friends.
TBC. Please review.