A/N: Let us go with the flow, for insanity guides us now.
Botan in the meantime was pacing the bathroom floor, wondering how she could escape her mess. She was trapped with a group of boys and one had just shown his true colors…a real pervert. "I can't believe Kurama tried to come in here!" Botan muttered furiously under her breath. "Anyway, that's hardly the point…I have to find a way to get out of here before my 'friends' find a way to snap even more than they already have…if that's even possible." Botan sighed and looked at herself in the mirror. "No, I can't let myself get this stressed out! I have to get out of here…maybe a little fresh air will help clear my head…" She walked over to the lone window in the bathroom and opened it with ridiculous ease. She then looked down and noticed a heater. A REAL working heater. It took a few seconds to sink in… "THANK REIKAI! I'M OUT OF HERE!" she said as she summoned her oar and flew out of the window, unknown to the four boys in her troupe.
Amazingly, all it took to dampen her mood was a little blast of cold air. Okay, a HUGE blast of SUB-ZERO air, actually. Apparently, Botan had taken the lovely heated-ness of the mall for granted. The ferry girl gave a violent sneeze, nearly toppling off her oar as a gust of angry snowflakes slammed into her. 'Maybe I should have just stayed at the mall…NO! ANYWHERE is better than here! In fact…isn't Genkai's temple less than a mile away?' That comforting thought kept her going for the entire (very short) journey. Ten minutes later, she was standing in front of her destination, chilled to the bone and her hands frozen to her oar. She just barely managed to knock on the door. "Botan!" exclaimed Yukina, who had answered the door. "Oh, what happened?!" "Ju-ju-just d-don't ask-k-k," the ferry girl responded through chattering teeth. "N-n-n-need heat-t-t." The koorime gasped, swinging the door open wider. "Oh, of course! Come in!"
Botan was in shock when she stepped further into the temple. "What?!" she managed to blurt out as she caught sight of Koenma, Genkai, Shizuru, Kuwabara, Jin, Cabbit, Keiko, Chuu, Rinku, Touya, Jorge, Koko, Natsume, Shishiwakamaru, Suzuki, and a memorial stone for the late-late-late-very-late Raizen. "Uhh, what are all of you doing here? With sake? Having a party?" Botan questioned repeatedly. "Botan, I got sick of babysitting you and watching you at the mall on my big screen so I decided to call Genkai and we just started this shindig actually…it beats listening to Ogre's grating voice all night!" Koenma snapped, amber eyes flashing with annoyance. "But Koenma-sama!" "Can it!" Genkai cleared her throat and began passing around dumplings. "Botan, you're welcome to join us. And I'd say you deserve it, considering that you were the first out of the group of idiot boys to make it back here in one piece." "Thank you very much, Genkai," Botan said, bowing slightly. "And it looks like I probably escaped the same way that Jin and Cabbit escaped," she added, winking at Jin. "Aye, flying is the only way to travel, it is, it is. I just hope that Urameshi and the gang can get out of this little ordeal soon. We've got plenty of food to go around!"
"Go fish," Youko announced. "Rats!" Yusuke 'cursed', snapping his fingers and drawing a card from the deck. Kurama had discovered a deck of cards on the way to obtaining an ice pack, and the four conscious boys had taken to playing the almighty game of Go Fish in front of the girl's bathroom. "We need a new game," Kurama sighed, throwing his hand down. "What, one hour of Go Fish is too much for you?" Yusuke asked sarcastically. Yes, the boys had indeed been playing Go Fish in front of the girl's bathroom for an hour straight. It didn't occur to them that maybe it was a bit strange that Botan had not emerged some time during their wait. After all, they were only boys.
"Okay, I think that someone should seriously check up on Botan. I don't think that changing a pad takes a couple hours plus…" Yusuke said sarcastically as he draw another card. The three of diamonds to be more exact. "Anyone got an eight?" he asked as the rest of his group turned beet red because of his…inappropriate comment. "Hiei, why don't you go in? You kind of look like a girl with lipstick…" Yusuke informed. Everyone shot a quizzical glance at the Reikai Tantei. "Um, Yusuke…but, how would you know something like that…unless you tried it on him while he was sleeping or something?" Youko said in monotone. He was rather creeped out by just envisioning it. However, even though Yusuke was sick, he surely wasn't THAT sick. "Fine, ningen…I'll go check but don't hold me accountable for my actions," Hiei said sourly as he stood up and threw his cards on the floor. Entering the bathroom with a bad-boy sort of routine, he stopped dead. "AAAAAAAHH!"
He stared in horror at the bathroom. "It's…it's PINK!" He sneezed. "And cold." Youko poked his head in. "Huh. Looks like the heater blew out." He looked around. "Oh Booootaaaaan," he called. "Your lover-boy is waaaaaaaiting for you!" Hiei's patience finally ran out, causing him to ram an elbow into the teen's ribcage. Youko gasped in pain. "Ow," he managed to whisper, slumping against the door. "Ya had it coming, Youko, for standing next to him when you said it," Yusuke pointed out, coming up behind the pair to peer into the bathroom. "Ah, so THIS is what it looks like," he observed, taking a look around. "Hey, Youko, get out your video camera." Youko held up a hand, still trying to regain his breath. "Yusuke," he wheezed. "I thought this was supposed to be blackmail for a certain other pair, not you and me!" The Tantei blinked. "Oh yeah. Good point."
"Um…the ferry girl is…gone…" Hiei said as he opened the door to each stall and found that Botan was conspicuously absent. "WHAT?!" Yusuke said as he rushed right in, as did Youko and Kurama. The four boys were standing in a girl's bathroom and it was just about five in the morning. Oh great. "So Botan was able to escape, huh? She probably didn't want us find out about her master plan and used this damned female sanctuary to make her getaway! WHY?!!!" Youko screeched, the histrionics coming into play stronger and stronger as each second went by. Yusuke put a hand on Youko's shoulder, telling him to chill out and that they would get out too. "Hmm, if Botan did make her escape, then she must have gone through this single window. Either that or she tried to crawl through this vent," Kurama remarked intelligently, an index finger shooting upward. "Okay guys…to the window!" The Reikai Tantei summoned his 'posse' and all four of them started to pull on the window. Uh oh. Not moving. Immobilized. STUCK. "Let's try again," Hiei said in monotone as he placed a firm grip on the window handle. "1…2…3!" they all shouted as they gave the window one last hard tug and all toppled backward. "Well this sucks…" Youko said, rubbing his rear end in pain. "Let's go for the vents…"
After they had successfully pried the cover from the bent, a new problem loomed before them. "Uh, Botan's a GIRL, so it would be really easy for her to fit in the vent, but wouldn't it be kind of hard for us?" Yusuke asked. Kurama smiled slyly. He'd already taken that into account. Well, that and the fact that he wasn't done tormenting a certain someone. "Not true. After all, we don't even know if this vent leads out of here, and there's only one person needed to scout. And what do you know, I do believe there is one of us that fits after all…" And so, Hiei now found himself crawling through dirty vents, cursing everyone's favorite kitsune under his breath. 'If I get stuck in here, the moment I get out I am DEFINITELY going to slaughter Kurama. No, wait, even if I DON'T get stuck in here, the moment I get out I am STILL definitely slaughtering Kurama.' Of course, it was then that a new option presented itself to him. The vent gave way beneath his weight, sending a VERY homicidal fire demon through the ceiling to land in (fortunately) a rather large pile of pillows in Bed Bath and Beyond.
"Someone must have brains...someone must have brains...someone HAS to have brains!" Yusuke screamed, anxiously waiting for Hiei's morose arrival. He thought that his CHEERY response would be along the lines of, 'A few rats tried to gnaw at me so I killed them with the Kokuryuuha... oh, news about escape you want? Forget it. Not happening.' Yusuke shuddered. "We NEED a brain people! Hiei isn't coming back!" Kurama rolled his eyes. "What on earth are you talking about, Yusuke? Is that overactive imagination getting the best of you again?" Youko snickered. "Look, I just have a feeling that Hiei ISN'T coming back. So it's up to someone...with a BRAIN to figure out what we're going to do now... I'm sick of this pink bathroom!" All three boys nodded. "Hear, hear," Youko announced.
Even though their IQs had dropped to a level equivalent with that of the common hamster, Kurama still brilliantly deduced that they could escape their pink prison by simply exiting the bathroom and waiting for Hiei there. The other two promptly agreed, and a card game commenced shortly after. The game? Why, Old Maid. Of course, this wasted ten minutes of them trying to remember how exactly to play Old Maid, as they had long forgotten the days of yore. But they remembered in the end, and were having a grand old time with their game. So grand, in fact, that they completely forgot their primary mission. Which wasn't necessarily a bad thing, considering the fact that Hiei was still passed out in Bed, Bath, and Beyond anyway.
"Aah, umm…I got the old maid guys…" Youko said as he lethargically placed his cards down on the floor. "I think…that I'm gonna quit now." Everyone eyed the boy, obviously understanding that he was quite the sore loser and couldn't stand being beaten at a game that was created by HIS kind. "And anyways, dontcha wonder where Hiei is?" Everyone shot puzzling glances. Hiei HAD been gone for a while and Kurama desperately hoped that he didn't cause any less than normal destructive behavior in the mall in which they were trapped. "Maybe we should look for him." Yusuke leapt up to his feet. "Well maybe he's getting drunk again! We wouldn't wanna miss any of the action!" Kurama grinned. And as much as he liked his carefree companion, there was still a matter of payback for actually dragging him to the mall. Youko, had hearing the word 'drunk,' whipped out his trusty video camera and the three were on the road again, in a new quest to scout out Hiei.
Meanwhile, everyone's favorite Jaganshi was struggling to extract himself from the mountain of pillows, with depressingly little result. Finally he got fed up and threw caution to the wind, whipping out his katana and hacking his over-stuffed foe into oblivion. Feathers flew everywhere, much to his chagrin. Muttering mutinous comments against a certain kitsune, teen, and hanyou, he stalked his not-so-merry way out of the store. And abruptly realized that he had no idea where he was. You see, BOTAN was the brains of that operation. Hiei was just...the reluctant passenger. And now he wasn't even that. Now he was just some random youkai lost in the endless abyss that was a ningen mall. And maaaan, was he pissed about it. He reluctantly sheathed his sword and began searching for an exit. Screw the other guys. Every man for himself.
And yet, he actually gave it a second thought. Hiei knew for sure that there would be no possible way for him to escape…unless he were to use his Kokuryuuha but that was SO not the point. Nevertheless, Hiei walked in some random direction until he got to a door that led to his 'exit.' He pressed his hand against the cold glass and stared outside. Outside was where the freedom was. Outside was where there were things to torment, demons to kill. "Kuso!" He hissed through clenched teeth. "I'm not supposed to want help from the ferry girl and from everyone else!" he screamed while looking upward. The Jaganshi suddenly noticed something. Something…clicked. His ruby eyes widened in shock. It was an open skylight. Correction: it was his ticket to get out of the blasted mall once and for all!!! And not wasting anymore time, he leapt up with uncanny grace and in no time, was on the other side of the wall. Well it was true, it WAS apparently every man for himself… "Hn…" If getting outside of the mall wasn't enough of a shocker he turned to his left. There stood the deity of death, a morose look on her face. Morose? Hell definitely froze over. "Did I hear what I think I just heard, Hiei?" Botan inquired recalling a few moments ago when she heard him scream from inside the mall. Her oar magically disappeared into nothing. "Did they force feed you drugs…AGAIN?" She shuddered. The last time that happened, Hiei had pranced around Ningenkai, screaming "joy to the world." The fire youkai folded his arms and scoffed. "Hn. You heard wrong, baka onna. I'm finally out so why would I need YOUR help?"
"Got me..." Botan replied absently. She shivered. "Man, it's COLD." "Yes, ferry girl, that would be the nature of snow. You know, that white fluffy stuff on the ground?" Botan arched an eyebrow. "You? Humor? No wonder it's freezing; Hell hath frozen over!" Hiei 'hn'ed his usual indifference, nudging the frozen precipitation with a toe. The worst of the snow had stopped, but if not for his sheer lightness he probably would have sunk into the several yards deep pile that had accumulated on the roof alone. Botan was having a grand old time hovering on her oar. "You know..." Botan speculated casually. "It's kind of a waste to have a skylight, don't you think? How much heat does that thing let out each day? No wonder all the doors were frozen shut!" The crimson-eyed demon glared at her suspiciously. "If you were able to get out, then why did you come back?" Botan bit her lip. "Well...I was really stoked to get out and everything, and I guess I COULD have stayed at that party, but I felt guilty at leaving you all here." Hiei nodded absently, accepting her explanation, when suddenly it clicked. "THEY WERE HAVING A PARTY?!" he yelled incredulously. "WE'VE BEEN STUCK IN THIS KAMI-FORSAKEN HELLHOLE FOR HOURS ON END AND THEY HAD A PARTY?!!!!" "Wait Hiei--" Botan began, but she didn't have to stop him. Upon his outburst he had begun trudging through the snow--and abruptly sunk. She sweatdropped and dragged him out again. "Goody...the very last thing I need: a moody, youki-less fire demon dying of hypothermia."
"Psh, I don't need your help…" He said as he yanked his arm back and began to trudge again. PLOP. Again he fell into the vast white snow. Botan did what she did before, helping the youkai back up. "I told you! I don't need your EFFING--" PLOP. Botan sighed heavily. "Hiei, you don't always have to be so distant." The fire demon eyed her angrily. "I can do whatever I want and no one can tell me otherwise. Well, not unless they want my katana shoved down their throat." Botan's eyes widened. "With the exception of you, thanks to my being on probation! Curse the damned toddler…" Botan's eyes suddenly shone and Hiei knew what she had up her sleeve. Optimism. He shuddered. "You know, Hiei… with all the powers that you possess, don't you think it would be nice to help people? I mean, I didn't HAVE to come back but I did!" She chirped happily. "You're too…cheerful…" The five-foot-freak muttered under his breath. "Are you on Conzac?" He inquired, having no real idea what it was called.
She stared blankly at him. "Eh...?" He rolled his crimson eyes to the sky. "Never mind. And I can't damn use what I don't happen to have. Namely, my YOUKI? Which no longer resides within me thanks to a certain TODDLER? Remember that?" Botan coughed nervously. "Umm...yeah...about that..." She sneezed. "Oh, it's cold. Can't we go in or something? Please?" He turned away from her. "Hn. You go in. I'll stay. There's no way I'm going into that accursed mall again." The ferry girl shrugged and floated in the direction of the skylight when she suddenly heard a sound. A very quiet, but distinct sound. And it went something like..."ACHOO!" An instant later she was back next to the Jaganshi with a big smirk on her face. "HA! I'm on to your little scheme! You think you're so slick--you just don't want to go back in cause you can't admit that you're stuck and need my help!" "I do NOT," he growled with chattering teeth, "need help. Least of all yours." "Okay, suit yourself. Later!" She pretended to meander off. 'Hah. He'll be begging me for help in a few minutes. Hmm, I wonder how our lovely trio of doom is doing...'
A/N: R&R! Hope it was comical!