A/N: The LAST chapter...how WILL these FREAKS fair?!?!?!
Youko was still in the random depths of the mall, starting ever happily at his prized video camera. "What they won't know DEFINITELY won't hurt them and will SURE AS HELL nail me SOME kind of prize." Yes. You guessed it. He had any and EVERY intent of showing that tape to as many people as he could possibly find. Perhaps this would bring up a new statement of: wow, aliens/freaks really DO exist! The cautious teen looked left and right but there was no sign of his bizarre troupe and so, ran into yet another random hallway. You know, at 4:30 in the morning, just about ALL of the hallways were beginning to look alike. "Now…how TO get out of here…" Youko muttered under his breath. "Ya could just look for us and we could kinda get you out. Where the HECK did you run of to?" The Reikai Tantei suddenly inquired as he and the 'posse' of said freaks came up from behind him. Ooookay…so maybe Youko had NO idea where he was going and ended up getting back to where he once started. The brunette jumped in fright and hid his camera (from the eyesight of the manic fire demon, mostly) and cried out in a paranoid…ish manner, "What, what!? No I wasn't about to ruin all of your lives by making this tape public knowledge and then later winning an Oscar for it! What are you kidding!?" All except Youko glanced at each other forlornly. There was no hope for the boy. He HAD snapped.
"Of COURSE you weren't," Yusuke assured him agreeably, putting an arm on his shoulder. Then, just as Youko had relaxed, he snatched the video camera and took to the hills. "COME BACK WITH THAT!!!" screamed three different voices at once, but just as they were about to sprint after the wayward detective, they suddenly found themselves bound with vines. "YOU!!!" hollered Hiei accusingly. "You and him! You've been conspiring all along! YOU PLANNED ALL THIS!!!" Kurama raised an eyebrow at him. "Actually, we just came up with this like, five minutes ago." "Alas, my namesake!" Youko cried theatrically. "Why have you betrayed me?!" Kurama shrugged. "Well, why not? The world turns, the grass grows, and thieves often end up betraying people. That's the way things are."
Youko mused for a few seconds. He had three options. One: Go and run like hell to at least TRY and get his video camera back from some deranged delinquent. Two: Start crying. Three: Render Hiei unconscious just for the sheer excitement (and to relive stress). Brushing his bangs out of his face and shutting himself up for two seconds, he had decided to go with choice number two. "YAAAAAAAAH!" He wailed. Hiei winced mentally and covered his ears with randomly acquired earplugs that he had (conveniently) pulled out of Kurama's hair. "Why?! Yusuke come BACK!" Kurama too, rummaged through his hair…and found a nice looking CD player. "No…one…is LISTENING! YAAAAAAAH!" The teen stomped his left foot on the ground. Desperate times really called for desperate measures. THWACK! Hiei was on the ground in less than two seconds, Kurama eyeing the boy in awe. "Kurama…Youko…WHATEVER the hell you are… now I'm mad and once I get my camera…you're ALLLLLL going down!" The manic boy proceeded in choosing his last step out of the three and hightailed it in a random direction in hopes of nailing Yusuke.
Both Kurama and Botan blinked very slowly and stared after the deranged brunette. "You know," Kurama speculated after a lengthy pause, "I don't think all this solitude is good for his presence of mind." Botan rolled her eyes at him. "Oh it's not the solitude. It's the amount of time he's spent with us." She poked morosely at Hiei. "One of the most feared demons in Makai, you'd think he'd be able to stay conscious longer, wouldn't you?" The kitsune shrugged. "No youki, remember?" Botan groaned. "Urg, don't remind me. He already has. About ten times, no less. And if he's such a great swordsman he should be physically fit with or without his youki, no matter what anyone else says." Kurama yawned. "Good point." There was another lengthy silence, then... "Uh, Kurama? Plan on letting me go any time soon?" "Nope. Can't say that there is."
Botan rolled her eyes. "C'mon! I am SO not a threat anymore! Here, if you want me to go, I'll just whip out my oar and…yeah…gobacktothepartythatKoenmaishavingrightnowaswespeak…" Botan said quickly so that Kurama would HOPEFULLY still stay sane. Well THAT was hardly likely. Meanwhile, off with our not-so-happy Youko, he ran randomly down a dimly lit corridor, passing a Forever 21 store. "Yusuke!" Youko hissed through clenched teeth. The brunette looked to his left and raised an eyebrow. There was the Reikai Tantei, posing in the display window, TRYING to do his level best to stand as still as a statue. "Yusuke…get down from there…and GET RID of that skirt!" Youko had been scared for life…as if being in a mall wasn't bad enough. He had just seen Yusuke in a short mini-skirt. Oh the AGONY. "Damn! And I thought it was foolproof!" Yusuke said as he snorted, walked down, and held the video camera in front of him. "Don't worry man, I'm still on your side!" "YES!" The eighteen-year-old teen shrieked in delight.
Yusuke raised an eyebrow. "Dude...your maturity level's dropped lower than mine. And THAT is damn near impossible." Youko didn't say anything. He was just staring at Yusuke with a very traumatized expression on his face. The Tantei blinked. "What?" Youko mumbled something unintelligible. Yusuke raised an eyebrow. "What'd you say? Itchy squirt? Emy shirt? Inny smurt?" "MINISKIRT, YOU IDIOT!!!" Youko burst out finally. "YOU'RE STILL WEARING ONE, YOU DAMNED FOOL!!!!" Yusuke looked down. "Crap...you're right." He zipped off in the direction of the changing room...hopefully to recover his pants. Wow, that didn't come out right. Meanwhile, Youko finally realized something. "Hey, wait a minute...GIVE ME BACK MY VIDEO CAMERA, YOU THIEF!!!!!!"
He ran after Yusuke with his quick sprinting speed. "I thought you said that you were on MY SIIIIIDEEE!" Yusuke rounded a corner and slowed down once he had gotten into Forever 21's changing room (while Youko was momentarily battling a rack of tank tops that he randomly got himself entangled in). And by the time that he actually reached said room, Yusuke was already done changing and he lethargically kicked the skirt to the side. "Okay…" Youko breathed, trying to calm himself down. "Will you PLEASE tell me why you are now in cahoots with Mr. Fox-boy!" The JD raised an eyebrow. "It was just something that I could do to pass the time. I still want to blackmail them though. Meaning…I still am in an alliance with you. And besides, who WOULDN'T want to see Hiei drunk? I bet that everyone would get a kick out of it!" Youko grinned. FINALLY, things seemed to brighten up. "Ya know I still need a copy of this tape!" "Will do!" They high fived each other and before they left, Youko looked forlornly at the skirt. "Next time flame boy gets drunk…" Yusuke laughed inwardly. "I'll remember that…"
Meanwhile, back at...the other place, which was presumably inside of Bed Bath and Beyond, Botan was all alone. Okay, so Hiei was there, but an unconscious person is hardly any company to speak of. In any case, Kurama had vanished into realms unknown, as youko would do every now and then. Especially in the traditional Yu Yu Hakusho humor story. But enough of breaking the fourth wall. Right. Botan. Alone. In the store. Well, be it as it may, she eventually got free, mostly because Kurama was no longer there to support his pretty plants. So, she decided to take a short walk in order to find Yusuke and Youko and thus, bash their heads in--err, talk some sense into them about that tape. Yeah. Sure. Like THAT would really turn out. But hey, can't blame a girl for trying, ne?
While Botan was trying her level best to find the 'Y' duo, Kurama was scouting out Starbucks. 4:45 in the freaking morning and he was STILL awake, STILL stuck with his idiot 'friends', and STILL as calm as ever. It sort of annoyed him. "Caffeine would be just what I need right now," he muttered to himself, directing himself to a directory. Wow. "Let's see…I am…here…well that is very fitting indeed. Apparently, I KNOW where I am…" Kurama had seriously lost it. He had begun to speak to himself. Now, we all know that he surely wasn't Sensui, ergo it was certainly NOT normal to strike up a conversation with himself. Nevertheless, the kitsune no longer cared. "Two…floors…up…okay, that works." He walked in a random direction and was very thankful that he suddenly found himself in front of an escalator. "Yatta…" He muttered as he stepped onto the escalator and let it carry him painstakingly upward. Once Kurama was about to step off, he suddenly heard something. RIIIP. Followed by a: THUD and then an OUCH. Kurama had done a face plant into the floor, courtesy of his wonderfully tight spandex getting caught in a lone escalator stair. "I…knew…that…I…should…have…stayed…home…" Kurama groaned. So much for going for a whole new look. As quickly as he had arrived on the new floor, he ventured back down to Hot Topic in hopes of retrieving his loose garments.
MEANWHILE, Yusuke and Youko, completely unaware of the fact that they were being 'hunted down' by a now vaguely deranged blue-haired deity of death wielding an oar, were once again having a good long laugh over The Tape. "It never gets old!" Yusuke proclaimed, wiping the tears from his eyes. "Youko man, I dunno where you live but we'd better keep in touch!" "Osaka," the brunette clarified, still bursting into the occasional bout of snickers every now and then. "We could exchange email addresses later." He snapped his fingers. "Umm...by the way...have you, y'know, changed your mind?" Yusuke stared blankly at him. "About...?" Youko looked a little apprehensive. "Well, you know, Hiei? With his Jagan? That apparently won't vaporize me, may or may not hurt, but will definitely wipe my memory clean of this incident?" The delinquent's brown eyes widened. "Dude...DUH!!!! I TOTALLY forgot about that! There is NO WAY in HELL that you are getting your memories erased now!!!! And when I say that, I mean it. Trust me. I've got connections with Reikai, man." Youko grinned, rubbing his hands together. "What looked like the beginnings of a beautiful friendship may now blossom into one monster of a partnership." The two boys high-fived. As dramatic as the moment SHOULD be, it actually looked kind of dorky. Oh well. Boys will be boys, after all.
"And WHAT did I hear you say?" The aforementioned ferry girl snapped as she walked straight up to the two, oar at the ready. "Youko CAN and WILL get his memory erased! Koenma-sama will see to that!" She snapped, Youko backing away in fright. The bags under her eyes made the situation even worse. The two boys could tell that she was tired and in the process of losing it. Oh wait, I think she lost it in chapter six. Never mind then. "Chill out Botan!" Yusuke screeched. "I told ya a thousand times, this guy's cool by association! And if the toddler doesn't like it, then I can kick his ass!" Youko applauded. "That was great acting man." "Dude, I was totally serious." The other teen shut himself up. He obviously had no idea WHO the HELL Koenma was so that didn't really help things anyway. He also didn't see that Yusuke got whacked by Botan's oar. "KUSO!" He yelped as he held his head. "That is gonna HURT tomorrow…" Youko mused. "But anyways…" He turned to Botan and outstretched his pointer finger. "Do you have ANY idea where flame boy and fox freak are?" There was suddenly a random pause. "Anyone is prone to going psycho by now so I wouldn't worry," Yusuke said coolly. "I WOULD!" Miss Death cried as she used her oar to race down the hallways, Yusuke and Youko shrugging while simultaneously following the worrywart.
As for Hiei, he had regained consciousness...to find himself alone. Oh woe is Hiei. Well, not really. He IS the rather isolated type anyway, isn't he? Unfortunately for him, Kurama meandered back in, now safely back in his own somewhat floaty clothing. The kitsune looked quite lost. "Oh, hello Hiei," he said vaguely, having spotted the vertically challenged youkai. "What brings you here?" Hiei raised an eyebrow. "Not one for sleep, are you? Don't you think that's a little hazardous to your health?" "Hypocrite," Kurama muttered, before suddenly passing out in...yes, you guessed it: that infamous never-ending pile of pillows. Hiei blinked. "That was uncalled for." He then noticed the bottle of aspirin hanging out of Kurama's pocket. "'May cause drowsiness'," he read to himself. The fire demon rolled his eyes. "Well, THAT'S a definite understatement. Baka ningens."
Being the ever loyal friend that Hiei was, he didn't even let Kurama have the luxury of lying in fluffy white pillows for even one minute. Yes. In no time at all, the morose fire demon was seen dragging Kurama by the legs, the kitsune's snoring decibels growing with every passing second. Either things were looking really up for the troupe, or there was just some freaky force out there that really wanted to get them all out of the accursed prison known as the mall…Botan, Yusuke, and Youko had finally reunited with Hiei and Kurama. "Dude, what did you do to him?" Youko asked, vaguely envying Kurama at the same time, seeing how he was dead asleep. "Hn…the label…" He said in a monotonous voice while simultaneously pointing at a bottle of aspirin. "Well gee, that works…" Yusuke snorted cynically. "Great…okay so we're all back. NOW what the hell do we do?" "Get out of here and then fillet the toddler," the Jaganshi snapped, cracking his knuckles. "And WHAT did I say about keeping the loss of blood to a minimum when we first got trapped Hiei!? You really have a horrible memory!" Botan chided, waving a finger at him. "Hn. Spare me…"
"He's right about one thing, though," Youko mused, looking around and folding his arms pensively. "We really need to get out of here. I mean, I know we're all like, criminally insane right now, but we can still ditch this place before our brains deteriorate any further." "We should wake Kurama up first," Yusuke announced, producing an ice-cold water bottle from out of nowhere and dumping it all over the aforementioned kitsune's head. "WHERE'S THE FIRE?!" Kurama yelled, sputtering slightly and bolting up. He stared disorientedly around at them all. "Damn. I was hoping the mall part was only a dream." Botan grinned. "No such luck, but hey, I have good news!" Kurama, Youko, and Yusuke all stared at her hopefully. She raised an index finger...and slowly and dramatically pointed at the skylight. Yusuke stared. Kurama stared. Youko stared. Hiei sharpened his katana on a knife sharpener and prepared to mince Koenma. "How did we NOT notice that before?!" Youko finally yelled. Botan shrugged cheerfully. "Dunno. But you're gonna have to accredit Hiei here for finding it!"
"YES!" Youko punched a fist into the air for the second time that night. "ACTUAL FREEDOM! And I never thought that PYRO would help us get there!" Everyone exchanged friendly glances before Hiei had abruptly shot upward like a missile, through the aforementioned skylight. "Well…he's quick…" Yusuke noted, while seconds later, pulling the same trick. Botan whipped out her oar and Kurama felt through his hair for his trusty rose whip. "Er…wait a second! What about me!?" Youko cried, obviously feeling left out, for he had no freakish powers to speak of in the least. Yusuke pounded his fist onto his palm. "Oh right! Dude, sorry about that. Y'know, with being around you guys for this long, I thought that you were already one of us our something." Youko raised an eyebrow. "Hardly." Kurama pitied the poor NORMAL boy and tossed down his rose whip so that he may climb it. "Just…! Watch out for the thorns!" Kurama warned just as Youko was about to place a hand on his getaway. The teen's eyes widened in shock. "Ohh…NO!" Youko backed away in fright, crossing his two forefingers. "I have been through HELL already just by getting trapped here! Ya think I wanna make this night…err…morning even worse?" And before the teen had anymore time to protest, Hiei had leapt down and back up, setting the teen outside the mall within the blink of an eye. "Gee, now…WHY would you be so nice all of a sudden, flame boy!?" "Even the toddler couldn't make me answer that one," Hiei snapped while simultaneously glaring intently at his sharp katana, the thought of slaughtering the Reikai Prince slithering slowly but surely back into his "things to do" list.
"Flame boy's in loooooove," sang Youko, smirking slightly. Hiei stared at him blandly for a moment, then without the slightest change in expression, shoved the brunette back down the skylight. "HIEI!!!!" shrieked Botan, Yusuke, and Kurama. The ferry girl pulled a quick rescue operation and a second later Youko was back on the roof safe, sound, and hyperventilating. Yusuke threw his hands up in the air. "For Pete's sake, can't we just get along?!!!" There was silence. The tiny troupe exchanged a glance. "Yeah...sure...fine with me..." There were general mutterings of consent. Yusuke grinned. "Right then people...hmmmm...PARTY AT MY HOUSE!!!!" he yelled randomly. "WOOT!!!" Youko, of course. "Why the hell not?" agreed Kurama amiably. His mood was greatly improved from his escape. Hiei scowled. "Not just yet," he growled. "I WILL get my revenge on the toddler first." Botan put a hand on his shoulder. "Please don't," she said pleadingly. "Listen, I know vengeance is your number one thing, but I want to keep my job! And anyway," she added with a mischievous smile, "I think leaving them alone is the worser of the two punishments." Hiei raised an inquiring eyebrow, then shrugged nonchalantly and turned to the other three boys. "...Let's get the hell out of here..." he muttered finally. "YEAH!!! PARTY ON, DUDES!!!!" ...That one was Yusuke. And with that, the united team of weary travelers linked arms and walked off dramatically into the sunset--record screeches to a halt wait a minute, we can't have a moment THAT out of character! Okay, what really happened was that they all sank five feet into the snow and ended up crawling off to Yusuke's house with the sun rising in its normal, boring fashion behind them where they could neither see nor enjoy it. And that was the less-than-monumental ending of their adventures...
MEANWHILE, AT GENKAI'S SHRINE...
"Genkai, you didn't say anything about the powerline being knocked down," yelled Shizuru, looking around for a candle. "Get your hand OFF of that!" she yelped suddenly, smacking someone across the face. "OW!!!" came Chuu's voice through the darkness. "Hey, I found the door!" announced Rinku happily. Silence. "Ummmmm, it's not opening..." "Guess the snow must be holding it shut," deduced Keiko. "That does NOT explain why I can't knock it down..." Rinku muttered. "My wards do!" snapped Genkai irritably. "Do you REALLY think I'll allow a surplus of BLOODSHED in my temple?!" More silence. "Wait...but if the snow's holding the door shut..." "And we don't have our ki..." "And we can't call anyone since the power's out..." Yes, that's right boys and girls! Karma has played its hand. These guys are...SNOWBOUND!!!!!!
A/N: FINISHED! YES! Okay then! ....! Yeah!