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Chapter 10
Haldir was sitting in the little room that served as the guards' planning room. It only contained a desk and several cupboards filled with maps. The walls were also covered with maps and guard rotas. Most recently maps showing the searches for Tinarvel had been added.
Haldir sat at the little desk, his head in his hands. He was tired, and was not above admitting this to himself, even if he would never tell anyone else. After having delivered Legolas into Elrond's care, he had not really taken the time to recover himself – he had been too worried about Legolas. After a while, he could neglect his own duties no longer, and even though Galadriel had told him not to go on patrols himself, he had still had to do all the planning of normal patrols. As usual he had help with this, no one person could organise several hundred warriors, but ultimately the responsibility for the smooth functioning of the guards' duties was his task.
Added to this, he had also organised the search for Tinarvel, this was a deeply personal issue for him. He was torn between the urge to join the searchers and to remain with Legolas. In the end Galadriel suggested that on this occasion he was needed more at home than out with his warriors.
Between all this planning and organising, he had spent as much time as possible with Legolas. At first, when Legolas' condition was critical, he had not been able to sleep, and later that did not seem to be enough time for it. Haldir felt emotionally drained, he thought it was odd that it was only after the most critical time was over, that the impact of all what had happened really hit him.
Oddly enough, it had been Aragorn who had been his greatest support during the last few weeks. The young man had stayed in the background, but seemed to be able to perceive others' needs often before they became aware of them themselves. There had been many occasions when suddenly Aragorn appeared with some food or told Haldir to take a break.
Haldir and Aragorn had also spent quite a lot of time talking, filling the long hours at Legolas' bedside. Haldir also had come to know Elrond and the twins much better; it was surprising how much long, shared night watches encouraged in-depth conversations.
With a sigh, Haldir rubbed his temples. He had a throbbing headache, which he knew was only caused by tiredness, and tried to concentrate on the report before him. Since their encounter with the orcs, the guarding of Lorien's borders had been intensified.
Haldir also worried about what would happen between him and Legolas. If it had not been for Tinarvel, they would be bound by now. He did not pursue that train of thought, this was too painful. He hoped that once Legolas was well enough, they would go ahead with the ceremony. But a part of him feared that Legolas would not forgive him for not having recognised Tinarvel's jealousy earlier, and for not having prevented what happened.
With another deep sigh, Haldir laid his head on his crossed arms. He just needed to rest for a few moments; perhaps the headache would lessen with a little rest. Within moments, the marchwarden was fast asleep, not even realising that his eyes had closed.
-o-o-o-
Galadriel, Thranduil and Elrond had, not for the first time, discussed what should happen to Tinarvel when he was found. All three agreed that this was not a matter of 'if', but a matter of 'when'. Notices had gone out to all elven settlements, informing them what Tinarvel had done, what he looked like and the urgent plea to deliver him to either Lasgalen, Lothlorien or Rivendell, whichever was nearest to his place of capture. Elves were creatures not made to live alone; at some stage Tinarvel would contact other elves, if he was not found beforehand.
He stood no chance of passing as a human and passing unnoticed among men. Like all Lorien elves, he was tall, fair and slender, and the fact that he did not age made it unlikely that he could live amongst humans unrecognised for any length of time. Elves had time and their memories were long – so Tinarvel might hide for a century but one day he would be found. Which raised the question of what to do with him at that point in time.
They discussed different options – execution, exile or lifetime imprisonment. The first option they ruled out almost immediately, Thranduil felt that that a swift death was insufficient punishment for what Tinarvel had done, and both Elrond and Galadriel felt that killing Tinarvel would put his judges on par with him. In the end, no one had the right to take another's life.
Exile was a viable option; it had been used before for elves who had committed serious offences. This was very rare, and usually the exiled elves faded within a few centuries because they could not survive the loneliness of their existence.
Lifetime imprisonment was perhaps the most severe punishment any elf could receive. The prospect of being imprisoned, robbed of freedom and the ability to communicate with nature for eternity, here and in the West, would be terrifying for any elf. Only Galadriel could remember this form of punishment ever having been used, and that had been a case of multiple kin slaying. She felt that exile would be a more appropriate level of punishment for what Tinarvel had done.
Thranduil opted for lifetime imprisonment, not surprisingly; after all, Tinarvel had tried to murder his son. Galadriel voted for exile, and Elrond was undecided – he could understand both viewpoints.
"We should talk to both Legolas and Haldir, particularly Legolas. Once Tinarvel is found, Legolas should take the decision." Elrond looked at Galadriel and Thranduil. "He was fortunate to survive, it should be him who has the final say."
Both Thranduil and Galadriel nodded in agreement.
There was a pause in their conversation. Then Thranduil said: "I would like to see Legolas and Haldir bond as soon as possible. If this incident had not happened, they would be bound now, they have both waited for years for the ceremony. To me it feels as if that every day their bonding is postponed is a small victory for Tinarvel. Elrond, do you think Legolas is healthy enough for a bonding?"
Both Galadriel and Elrond looked at the elven king with surprise. Elrond took a deep breath. "I am uncertain whether Legolas is strong enough to go through a bonding. He has lost much strength and has not fully healed."
Thranduil looked crestfallen. Elrond paused for a moment. "But, Thranduil, you may be surprised to hear this, I have also thought about this. Not so much because I feel that a postponement is a 'victory' for Tinarvel, but because I think that it would be good for both Legolas and Haldir. Haldir is exhausted, he would not admit to this but it is easy to see for anyone who looks. Recently Legolas has been quite withdrawn, not a surprise after what happened to him. I think for both of them the closer emotional support they could give each other after a bonding would be very helpful. As a healer I would give my assent to this idea, people have not only physical needs, sometimes the emotional needs are equally if not more important."
Galadriel smiled, and said to Elrond: "If you think the risk can be justified, I would be more than pleased to go ahead with his bonding. I have always felt they should have bonded earlier."
Thranduil's face lit up. "Galadriel, Elrond – how soon could the ceremony take place?"
Both Galadriel and Elrond smiled at Thranduil's impatience. "There is no reason it could not take place very soon – everything was more or less prepared. Instead of conducting the ceremony in the woods, we could use the gardens of the Halls of Healing, they are beautiful, and Legolas would not need to walk as far. Elrond, would you release him home after the ceremony?"
"Yes, but only if Haldir could be taken off his duties for a couple of weeks. Legolas will not be able to move up and down from their talan frequently at the moment, and will need someone to look after him."
Galadriel nodded. "This can be arranged. Haldir has done more than he should have anyway recently."
She hesitated and then smiled. "We could arrange everything as a surprise for them. For tomorrow."
Elrond and Thranduil stared at her, and then both laughed.
Galadriel added: "If it truly is meant to be a surprise it would have to be very soon – a bonding cannot be kept secret for long."
Elrond looked at Thranduil. The king nodded. "If you think your people can prepare everything until tomorrow, I would be very happy for this to go ahead. Elrond, what do you think?
"It is not without risk, but I also think that it would be good for them."
-o-o-o-
Legolas was dozing on his bed, feeling miserable. Haldir had told him he would come to see him in the afternoon, but so far there had been no sign of him. Legolas could not help but feel cross about Haldir's absence, although a part of him knew fully well that he was being unreasonable.
He knew that Thranduil and Elrond were busy with Galadriel, and that Haldir had some important duties to see to. Aragorn and the twins had gone with one of the search parties.
Earlier in the day, two of the warriors in their patrol had visited briefly, but they, too had been on their way to join the search for Tinarvel. So Legolas had been mostly alone with his thoughts, and these thoughts had not been pleasant. The more Legolas thought about what had happened, the more he blamed Haldir for being shot. Haldir had known that Tinarvel was jealous, but he had not altered the rota. This entire incident could have been avoided!
Legolas was so restless that he decided to endure the discomfort and get up to walk a few steps. He carefully swung his legs out of the bed and stood up. One he was standing, the discomfort dimmed to a pulling ache that was bearable. He slowly walked to the balcony and leaned on the rail, enjoying the summer breeze. He had stood there only a few moments, when the door opened, and Haldir entered.
"I am so sorry that I am so late. I had a lot to do. Are you supposed to be out of bed?" Haldir did not add that he had fallen asleep. His head still hurt furiously.
Legolas did not turn. "I waited for you." His tone was even, but the reproach unmistakable.
That, in turn, angered Haldir. "Legolas, as much as I love you, but life goes on. I have duties to perform and you know that." The moment he had said the words, he knew he had sounded harsher than he had intended.
Legolas turned. "If you had listened to me, none of this would have happened." There was anger in his voice.
Haldir was taken aback. Although he had thought the same many times, it hurt to hear Legolas say it. Haldir was too exhausted to respond to this reproach. He sat down on the nearest bed, looking down. After a while he lifted his head, looked at Legolas and asked:
"Do you want me to leave?"
Legolas did not respond. Slowly Haldir got up. When Legolas still made no move, he turned and left the room.
-o-o-o-
Haldir felt utterly drained and dejected when he left Legolas. He felt even too tired to really think through what had just happened between them. He left the Halls of Healing and turned to go home, but then he realised that he did not want to go to the bedroom he and Legolas had shared for so many years. He found himself in the gardens of the Halls of Healing.
For a while he walked between the trees and flowers, plants and grass, and tried to come to terms with what had just happened. Legolas and he had disagreements before but they had never lashed out at each other like this before. He wondered if this would be the end of their relationship, and a great sadness came over him. Haldir had no doubts that he still loved Legolas, regardless of the hurtful words they had just exchanged. But he was not at all certain that his feelings were returned any longer.
Finally the marchwarden sat on one of the secluded benches underneath some flowering shrubs, leaning forward with his face buried in his hands. If he had not been so weary, he would have cried at that moment.
TBC. Please review.
