Author's Note: Heh heh, what happens when one takes plots from the Lord of the Rings Fanfiction Plot Generator and actually writes the story? This does. I was bored.
The Plots:
Gimli fondles Gimli! Gollum has an affair with Harry Potter! It's a romance fic where Aragorn dumps Arwen, because girls have cooties and het is like OMG EW GROSS!
Bill the Pony finds true love with Pippin! Isildur discovers secret homoerotic desires! It's a songfic where the Fellowship has wacky adventures in high school!
Middle Earth High School- a world of love, angst and reallii cool music songs !!
Yeah, this song is dedicated (This is Good Charlotte)
To every kid who ever got picked last in gym class (You know what I'm saying, this is for you)
To every kid who never had a date to no school dance (This is for you)
To everyone whose ever been called a freak (Y'all no what I'm saying)
This is for you (What?)
Bill the Pony walked into the halls of Middle Earth High School. He had been rather depressed lately, all because his crush Peregrin Took wasn't paying any attention to him. It's probably because of my species, Bill thought. As he walked past the lockers, he noticed Aragorn and Arwen yelling back at each other.
Here we (GC) Here we go
Yeah, uh, what, c'mon (Y'all know what I'm talking about, you all know what I'm saying)
Yeah, what, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon
Here we go, oh oh oh oh oh (C'mon) oh oh oh oh oh (Let's do this) here we go...
"Ugh! You are so immature! I can't believe I ever dated you!" Arwen yelled as she stopped off to homeroom.
"Eww, girl cooties!" said Aragorn as he wiped his hand on the wall.
Like the time at school when we got free lunch and the cool kids beat us up (Reduced lunch)
And the rich kids had convertibles and we had to ride the bus (Fifty-five)
Like the time we made the baseball team but they still laughed at us (You still suck!)
Like the time that girl broke up with me 'cause I wasn't cool enough
TRICK!
Things...things...here we go
Islidur sighed. He stared at all the happy male and female couples sucking face in the halls. He normally stood in the back, going 'Heheheheh..." and watching. But today, he wasn't feeling like watching this kind of thing. He was hoping for something more... interesting...
The little things, little things, they always hang around
The little things, little things, they try to break me down
The little things, little things, they just won't go away
The little things, little things, made me who I am today, GO
You wanna hate me now, but I won't stop now
'Cause I can't stop now
Gimli was very very sad. He had no girlfriend or boyfriend for that matter. He had no one else to do anything to, so he did them to himself.
Yeah, what (C'mon) what, yeah (What) c'mon, c'mon, here we go...
Like the time mom went to that institute 'cause she was breaking down (I just can't take it)
Like the car we had that wouldn't start we had to walk to get around (Can I get a ride?)
And that same year on Christmas Eve dad went to the store (I'll see you kids later)
We checked his room his things were gone, we didn't see him no more
DICK!
Things...things...here we go
"I love you Gollum! I want the world to know it!" Harry exclaimed.
The little things, little things, they always hang around
The little things, little things, they try to break me down
The little things, little things, they just won't go away
The little things, little things, made me who I am today, GO
You wanna hate me now, but I won't stop now
'Cause I can't stop now
What, what, what...here we go...here we go... go...go
The little things, little things, little things, little things, little things,
little things, little things, little things, little things (oh oh oh oh oh),
little things, little things, little things, little things (oh oh oh oh oh),
little things, little things, little things...here we go
Bill was ecstatic. His true love had noticed him! He galloped all the way to the old gym.
"Pippin, are you here?" he asked.
"Yes, my love. I am here." answered Pippin. He walked over to Bill and stroked his mane. "You are so beautiful." He leaned over and the two shared true love's first kiss.
Oh oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh oh
And it always seems those little things (oh oh oh oh oh),
they take the biggest part of me, break down (oh oh oh oh oh),
I'm breaking down, I'm breaking down..
Everyone was happy. Islidur got to see his desires, Gimli found love with Aragorn because he didn't have 'girl cooties', Gollum was able to tell Smeagol his true feelings, Harry and Gollum are engaged, and Pippin and Bill are soon to have their third mutant horse-child. Yes, everyone was happy, even Arwen, who married the manly Legolas.
Teh End.
Next up: The Balrog rescues Frodo! Gollum is turned into a vampire! It's a humor fic where men are the love slaves of elves!