Not Myself
By Princess Alexandria
Princess_alex24@hotmail.com
Jean walked into the gym and could see the other three people were standing around talking rather than working out. Warren and Bobby were grinning and even Logan looked a little amused so she wandered over to them to find out what was so interesting.
"I bet you haven't heard a woman scream like that before Bobby. Well, it's something they do when they actually like what you're doing to them." Oh that was a low blow Warren, Jean thought to herself as she moved to stand by Logan. She decided not to correct their impression right away. She just stood there quietly and got a nod of hello from Warren, but the boys kept right on talking. "It's called an orgasm."
"Nice Warren, real nice. See that on T.V. did you?" Bobby's glare wasn't real, he seemed amused. "Must have been nice to hear it in person… through a door."
"Looks like our Ice Queen can thaw out once in a while." The conversation between Bobby and Warren was just fun to watch. Jean and Logan didn't need to add anything to it and Jean enjoyed knowing the truth when they didn't. Emma could do with a few smirks and teasing comments for a while.
Bobby shook his head. "And all it took was the right woman. Never would have figured Emma for gay, the way she always dresses."
"She's probably bisexual." Warren waved that concern away.
"More likely omnisexual."
"What's that supposed to be?"
"Into everything." Bobby's grin grew wicked.
"omnisexual…That isn't even a word."
Jean just shook her head and moved away. She wasn't really interested in talking about Emma's sex life. She just wanted to see how bad the blonde was going to get teased and it looked like this one would last a while even after the others found out why Christy screamed like that.
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Jessi felt reluctant to get out of the car when they got back to the mansion. The day had been fun and they stayed away as late as Christy thought they could. It was almost ten and Christy was leaving early tomorrow. They all seemed reluctant to move. They got out of the car and just stood there. The plan was for Jessi, Jon and Erik to take off now and leave Annie alone with Christy.
Christy looked so awkward standing there. They all did. Finally Jessi took a step closer and pulled Christy into a hug. "Thank you." She whispered and felt Christy's arms come around her to return the hug. "You're my family now and I'm going to miss you." She'd felt that way for a while and it just seemed like she should say it.
"Yeah, family." Erik smiled at them when Jessi let Christy go. He moved in for his hug.
"If you guys need me, if something happens… Just call." Christy sounded a bit emotional. They could hear she was near ready to cry. "I'd drop everything to help you."
"Goes both ways." Annie spoke and the pain in that voice made Jessi feel so bad for her. Annie made it no secret that she didn't like that Christy was going home alone and might be a suspect for murder.
They all had something to do with that night and they all felt responsible. Christy was just protecting them. Jessi hated that Christy had been put in that position, that her father was a monster, and that she didn't see the attack coming when Christy always told them to be on guard during training because anyone could walk in on them. The Professor told her she shouldn't feel responsible for Christy having to become a killer, but Jessi just couldn't believe that. It was her irresponsibility and her father that put them in that position. If anyone knew how dangerous letting your guard down it was Jessi. She knew what kind of bastards the F.O.H. were.
Jon hugged Christy a little awkwardly. It was time. Annie looked at Jessi and nodded. Jessi sighed, "Well, we'll see you in the summer." Christy promised she'd visit and they'd figure out what to do then. Hopefully the plan included them being a team again, because this felt like the heart of the team was being ripped away.
"As soon as I can get away I'll be back." Christy smiled at her and Jessi gave her best attempt to smile back. She had to turn and leave before she started to cry. Jon was next to her with his hand on her shoulder.
"Come to our room." He tugged gently on her and she moved to walk while leaning against him. Christy was Jessi's family now, the only family Jessi had left aside from Jon and the others. This was their goodbye. Christy didn't want to do it in the morning, didn't want them to wake up so early. But Jessi could tell the truth was that it would be too painful for all of them if they did it then.
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Annie stared at the backs of her friends for a moment, feeling left to the wolves, before turning to look at Christy again. Christy was still watching them and the lost look on Christy's face hurt. Annie moved forward and wrapped an arm around Christy's waist, in a half hug. She did all this while reminding herself not to go too far, because the urge to pull Christy even closer was hard to ignore. She did manage to let go and take a step back.
"We need to talk." Annie said as soon as Christy looked at her. The way Christy seemed to straighten up and looked at Annie with concern and obvious caring made Annie's struggle harder.
"What's wrong?" Christy asked gently.
"That's my question." Annie felt her hand wanted to caress Christy's hair when she said that, so she put it in her pocket. Her voice was too soft and loving. She felt like cringing at how easily Christy would be able to see through it. "Everyone's worried about you." She decided to hide behind the teams concern.
Christy moved backwards a little and leaned against the car. "I'm fine."
Annie just stared at her a moment. She was doing it again. Lying to them and pretending everything was okay with her. Annie's voice was a little less loving and a bit more irritated when she spoke next. "We are a team. You can't just hide whatever is bothering you."
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Christy just stared at Annie for a moment. Someday she may be able to tell them about her, probably not everything. She didn't want them to know everything, but if she ever wanted free of the other Christy's life she'd need to… Ugh. Christy ran her fingers through her hair, pulling it away from her face as she tried to think. Lying all the time was getting so old.
"What's with your powers and all the time you spend with Ms. Frost working on them?" Annie was trying to coax an answer out of her.
Christy stared down at the driveway while she tried to think. Give a little now and the rest will be easier later. "This… fake body isn't my power. I've been working to find out what it really was." Annie's hand touched her elbow and Christy looked up into concerned eyes. She could also see Annie's love and that was a hard one to deal with. She didn't want to hurt the girl, but Annie had to give this up. "Since they can't do DNA testing we've had to figure it out another way. I can let telepaths in if I want to, and she's been helping me." Annie didn't look too pleased. Her eyes narrowed for just a moment and Christy didn't know what to say about that so she let it go. "I sense death. My power is to take death energy and turn it into portals or something. I didn't know…" She looked away and her fists clenched. "I conveniently forgot that I'd used that power… that I'd killed someone with that power." Her voice dropped down to a whisper and Annie was holding her hand now, was standing so close. "It was an accident." Annie had to know it wasn't on purpose. Christy didn't kill their teacher on purpose.
"Oh Christy." Annie sounded just as stunned as Christy had been and then Christy was pulled into a strong hug. "It's not your fault. It was just an accident. You'd never do that on purpose." Christy kept it to herself that she'd killed many people on purpose and just hugged Annie back. Letting the girl hold her longer than was really comfortable.
"Oh, there you are." Emma's voice interrupted them and Annie stepped back. Christy watched the purposeful stride of the telepath as she came from the main building towards them. "I wanted to tell you that the Professor wanted to talk with you tonight, and we also need to finish our work."
Finish? They were finished. Christy gave Emma a puzzled look for a moment before she felt the warmth of the connection.
~I've convinced the others that I need another night before I can give a report, so I'm afraid you are stuck with me.~
~That's no hardship.~ Christy gave Emma a small smile. "Okay, I'll be in soon." She told the telepath and turned to face Annie. ~I need to say goodbye.~ She sent to the telepath that wasn't moving to give them privacy yet.
~Be careful, she's just waiting for any indication that you want her too. She'll never move on if you give her that.~ Christy's jaw clenched a little at that unwanted advice, but Emma did start to walk away.
Annie didn't look pleased that they were interrupted, but Christy was actually glad that they had been. She wasn't ready to admit to a lot right now and she'd said more than enough. Someday she'd be able to say more. Christy partly looked forward to that. "Annie…"
"I know, you have work to do." That didn't sound good. It made Christy feel like she was abandoning the girl. Annie obviously felt that she was.
"Annie." She spoke gently. "I have a lot I need to do." She couldn't explain how important what she was doing with Emma was, or how she was in the middle of a trial that no one talked about. She knew the jury was out on her trustworthiness. "That doesn't mean that I don't care about you guys." She had to stop herself from just saying you. If Emma were right she didn't want to lead Annie on. She did love the girl, but not like that. Christy needed something else in a lover and an innocent girl wouldn't be a partner, she'd be a responsibility. "I do everything I can for you guys, but right now… I need to do some things for me."
"It's your last night."
"I'll be back in the summer."
"If you don't get arrested." Annie's voice was bitter and scared. Christy forced herself to think about the answer to this one first before saying it. The kids all would need reassurance.
"I won't. If it looks bad I'm gonna run, but I don't think it will come to that. No one thinks teachers are hanging around at night in the woods. We cleaned up after it. The guns not registered to me and I dumped it." She chuckled just a little, "And there is absolutely no chance they have DNA evidence. I have no DNA. No hair fibers, nothing."
Annie seemed to believe her now. She wasn't as upset looking. Christy spoke softly. "Just don't talk about it around here unless you're with one of the teachers. I'm going to be fine and in the summer we can figure out what we're doing." If Christy took care of the F.O.H. they'd have choices. They could move back to Washington, or they could stay here. If the Xmen trusted her by then, maybe Christy could stay here. She'd like that. Get away from the streets she'd prowled for food in her own world. That city was so similar it was hard to see it. Harder still to see people she'd known before.
"I'm gonna miss you." Annie was moving closer, looking so vulnerable.
"I'm gonna miss you too." Christy pulled the girl into a hug and held her tight. "You're my rock. I'm counting on you to help the others. You're in charge now. Make this school work. Learn what you can that I couldn't teach you." Annie's body was shaking a little and Christy just knew the girl was crying. It hurt to know that and her own eyes started to fill with her own tears. "I need to go. You need to let me go." She was talking about more than the strong grip Annie had on her now. Annie needed to let Christy go in so many ways, but Annie probably didn't catch the double meaning. "You can still call and write."
"It's not the same." Annie whispered, but she pulled away from Christy and the death grip loosened and then finally fell away. "Goodbye."
"I'll see you later." Christy tried for a smile, but it was so forced. It was hard to smile when you were so close to crying. You could never count on the future, but really there was no way around trying to plan for it. She resisted the urge to tell Annie she'd see her on the other side, it would only scare Annie. Things weren't that bad. Christy knew it was her old world that made her feel like it could be. They were all safer here. There would be a tomorrow.
Annie wasn't moving, so Christy forced herself to walk away, towards the main building. She was glad that she'd told the kids to sleep in tomorrow. She couldn't get into a car and leave right now, seeing how much it hurt her kids. She needed the night to recover from this.
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Emma waited at the entryway, right in front of the door to her office. The link she had with Christy was still active and she knew that Christy wasn't ready to walk into Charles' office to talk yet.
The large door opened slowly and Christy came in. Emma waited until Christy looked her way before talking. "Charles can wait. Come here." She was a little surprised when what was supposed to be Christy coming closer so that they could go into her office turned into Christy pulling Emma into a hug. The loneliness coming off of Christy was worrying. She wasn't even alone yet and already it affected her.
It was a good thing Charles had someone arranged to stay with Christy. Anyone had to be better than making Christy live alone for months. Emma wrapped her arms around Christy briefly and hugged her back. "Let's go in my office." She spoke softly. "Just have a drink and relax for a little while and then you can go see Charles."
"Okay." Christy pulled back. It was a strange feeling, being hugged like that, that anyone would feel comfortable enough with her to hug her like that. Emma held the door to her office opened and waited for Christy to go inside.
When Christy sat down Emma moved to get them a drink. "I'm thinking that we should work on the single dorms and sex education reform research first. If we can get it passed before Fall semester we can have students assigned to the proper rooms for the year." Emma hid a smile when Christy sat up straighter.
"So what are we thinking? Numbers on teenage pregnancy? Information about how sex education affects the rates?" Yes. Emma handed Christy her drink with a hint of flourish. Christy felt useful once more. It seemed to help her stay focused on here and now, and not the past.
"That sounds like a good start. Right now it's just sheer luck that we don't need a nursery. We'll have to wake Charles up to the fact that teenagers aren't children."
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Christy knocked on the Professor's door. It was a little later than he'd wanted her, but Emma was sure it was alright to take a break first. "Come in." His voice reached her ears and she slowly opened the door.
He was behind his desk and waved a hand to indicate she should come in and sit down. Christy shut the door behind her and reluctantly moved to sit. Emma told her that he didn't know about well… anything that would make him upset yet. Christy wasn't sure what this meeting was about and Emma wasn't able to tell her. She knew, but the Professor wanted to talk to Christy about it.
"Christy, go ahead and have a seat." He had both hands on the desk, interlaced as he waited for her to do that. Christy had the impression he looked like a counselor. "I have a proposal for you."
Why did that make her nervous? "What do you mean?" She asked in a flat tone.
"Emma mentioned that you had plans to… deal with the Friends of Humanity in your state."
Christy's jaw tensed but she just continued to watch him. That wasn't something she'd told Emma. She'd taken that out of her mind. She wasn't happy that Emma was working against her in this. "They can't be allowed to continue with this. They've killed an average of four couples every month for a while now. We know who's responsible."
"And how are you planning to deal with Jessica's dad?" And that there was the main problem. He was Jessi's dad. Christy wanted to deal with him permanently, it was the only way she could make it stick, but she couldn't be the person to kill him. How could Jessi ever trust her again if she did that? "I see. You haven't figured that out yet have you?" The Professor spoke calmly. "I have an idea."
What was more important, saving lives or doing this herself? Christy took a deep breath. She knew the right answer, even though she wished it weren't. "What are you thinking?"
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