ENTRY NINE
Ooops. Snuck into dad's council in disguise. Actually, while following Legolas
around like a lost puppy, agreeing with everything that he said, appear to have
joined a fellowship of some sort.
Think it was along the lines of
LEGOLAS; You have my bow.
ME; Oooh, me too. You like to swim?
Double bugger. Just found out where the fellowship is headed. Mordor. Or as Dad
insists on calling it, Morrrrdorrrr. Well at least I'm useful. I can fight. I
did orc-killing as my PE choice at high school for twenty years. Unlike Arwen.
Oh, I like volleyball, I love netball, blah blah blah.. Aha, just noticed, I'm
away from that cow for a while. Screw her. And I can keep Aragorn in check for a
bit. Convinced he's up to something with that Frodo.
On the downside, I am now a prince from the little known human kingdom of Goran .
Great. How am I supposed to get Legolas pretending to be a manky human???
Even worse, I couldn't stop giggling through the whole council. Bloody Elondra
kicking the crap out of Thranduil when he tried to stop her leaving. I swear, that guy has serious trust issues, didn't even trust his own son to do what he asked, followed him here in disguise. Then she called Gimli a tiny ginger fuckwit. Which suited me just fine.
Found Elondra later to tell her I was going hunting then onto Lorien. She wanted to come, but I told her Haldir was out hunting too, and he'd be coming here to stay for a few days. That made her stop. She was laughing because I never got to stare at all the hot elves arses in the council. Shows what she knows..
ENTRY TEN
Honestly. I thought Aragorn was a bit pervy. You should see what that Boromir is
doing to Gimli and the hobbits. Especially Frodo. I mean, I know he's cute. But
he's waist high!
Half an Hour later...
Ah. Just realised up side of that.
Still, so not justified! He keeps telling the hobbits they should polish his
sword for him. And keeps telling Gimli that braids are very in this season.
Anyone knows they aren't. It really is more of a cleanshaven, straightened look this
year.
ENTRY ELEVEN
On Cardhras.
A bit chilly to be honest. I'm far too pissed off to write much. Suffice to say
that everyone is hitting on Frodo, and as I'm pretending to be human, I can't
walk on top of the snow. I have to walk behind them all. Bloody Saruman. Bloody
evil. Bloody quest.
ENTRY TWELVE
In mines of Moria. Frodo nearly got eaten by a big octopus. Don't ask me what it
was called. Not much time for introductions. Suffice to say it was probably
those two labotomy patient hobbits that did it. Or one of them.
Still can't tell those two hobbits apart.
ENTRY THIRTEEN
Too dark.
Those hobbits are still obsessed with vegetables. They actually tried to find
some mushrooms. Honestly... Feel kind of sorry for Gimli really. Found out that
his cousin was dead.
Guess he can't really help looking a moron all of the time. Ah well. Had a great
time kicking a hill troll's ass. Best fun in a while really. Legolas update;
Still as gorgeous as ever. Can't really perve very well in the dark, but am
guessing he still is, if the damp isn't affecting his hair.
ENTRY FOURTEEN
Oh hell.
Gandalf fell into shadow. To be honest, I thought he was a bit lecherous towards
the halflings, so not that bothered to see him go, really. Although the rest of
them were. Legolas' face seemed to register some emotion, so of course I had to
at least pretend to be a bit miffed. Not that Aragorn was having any of the
teary crying stuff. Which caused another tiff between him and Boromir. Honestly.
ENTRY FIFTEEN
I don't know about the rest of them, but my elfy eyes are picking up on a scary
little green thing. Seems to be eyeing up Frodo. Oh, why the hell not? Everyone
else seems to be...
Fortunately that doesn't seem to include Legolas. Honestly, it's almost worth
all this crap just to get an eyeful of him getting changed. Very in shape for a
2931 year old. Mmm...