My Curse
I do not own Yu-gi-oh
Chapter 2
End it all
Tia says: Hey It's been like a year XD sorry. Enjoy.
I made it through another night. I'm surprised I'm still living. I haven't caved into the long waiting abyss of suicidal. They let me breathe someone else's air. I'm suffocating, choking and gasping in this white room of mine. My solitude is my own and no one can take that away from me. No one. Life is precious. Life is great. Life is full of lies and those other two thoughts before this one was total crap. Life is painful. I hate it here, being watched around the clock. It's cold here. I direct my eyes to the gracious window in my room. Clouds are rolling in from the golf. It's going to rain. I love the rain, because in my mind it erases the caked blood on my hands. It'll drip and flow down into the earth where it's soaked up. The earth can have my sin, IT can have my sin. It's my escape from reality if only for a moment. It's one of the times where I feel safe. No one can shatter that. No one can take it away. It washes my insecurities, fears and hate down. Earth, I love you.
I cherish the rain so much because not only does it cleanse it's a new feeling. Egypt didn't get much rain, and if it did I wouldn't know. The basement was awful. I'm destined to be a pawn in someone else's game and keeper and a guardian. My back holds the key to the future. It's great isn't it. There's a breeze out there, I can tell by how the sad attempt by the trees to dance. They seem happy, I am not. Lucky trees, standing there looking tall and watching our world spiral downward. They'll be here forever. I walk over to the window and open it, the breezing coming in and removing the suffocating air. I can breath. It smells great. Something good today.
My ache in my heart hasn't stopped. Everyday I feel stronger for him. It drives me nuts. I'm not close to him. No. I'm far, far, far away. Far away from him, her and myself. Makes my heart bleed. I climb onto the window sill and draw up a leg the other one dangling lifelessly. It feels better out here, not so many restraints. If I wanted too I could fall down to hell. Spiral downward and love every minute of it. I could and the smirk comes to my lips. This is great, plotting my demise. My sister would hate me. Hell, she does. She just won't tell. The breeze passes through me again, sinking into my restless soul. It's lovely and I can't escape. I look out toward the horizon. The buildings are standing erect, raping the sky. Where the holes are, it beings to rain. Falling down gentle at first. Kissing. Sweetening up for the devastating blow to come.
Everything is still and quiet. My breathe is mute. You can't hear it. I'm at peace. No one shatter it, no one shatter it. I hear a knock at the door. Too late. I turn my head in the direction of the stranger at the door. He's no longer a stranger. My other half has come to interrogate. He looks just like me, cept he's more..handsome. He has vicious violet purple eyes and platinum-blonde hair that's appears spiky, rough and sticks in all directions. It's actually soft. (I coped I feel when he was sleep)
" What the hell do you think you're doing?" I dare not tell him the truth. How I want to die tonight and sleep in my insecurities. I don' t tell the love I harbor for him. Because he'll laugh. He'll sneer. He'll hit, no he won't. Not yet. I like the rain, didn't he know that? He knows my soul, has my body and rapes my mind. Everyday.
"Watching the rain. It's so lovely." I turn my head back at you. I don't want to stare at your muscular form anymore. I might drool. I'm nothing like him. I'm skinny, pale, lithe and my hair falls down like a river. I look more feminine. His footsteps echoes around the room as you take the opposite side from me. Mimicking my position. He seem confused. Why?
"What's there to see?" That's right, he never did grasp the way of simple people. He always went to dominant and control. Simple things passed right by him. He needs to sit down and enjoy a cup of coffee.
" Nothing much. Just looking outward. Something better may come. " I know I speak lies, he knows too, my sister knows, the whole world knows. I'm a hated person because of what he's done. I gave up control once and he, the one before me had a giant massacre. People though it was me. Blaming me for the losses of their loved ones, calling me sick, murderer, bastard. And that's what I am. I am what they see. There is no me anymore. Just the gaping hole in my soul.
You're raising an eyebrow, I'm curling up and let my eyes close. I feel safe right here. With him by me. I don't know why, well, I do I just don't want to state it. I let out a sigh. The nightly visions always come back. Me. Him. And the blood leaking out. Perfect. Hell and heaven. I can tell he's watching me, his gaze lingers to my soul. It feels weird. Stop staring. He wonders why I'm like this. Why so far away? Quiet and contemplating. Distance. A million miles away from him and I. It's raining harder now. I want to float away. Float into your arms because you never embraced me. Only mother nature and My sister. Only they, why not he?
" Can you kill me? Stab the rod into my heart? You don't need me. She doesn't need me. My body will be your-" I stop because you jab the rod into my heart. I cough up some inexplicable and it drips through my lips. This is wonderful. My visions have come true. My pathetic existence has been ended. Thank you. I love you. My visions spins and I slump forward. Landing into your lap, bleeding outward. You can use this body. You can use this body. You know how. I love you. My blood is staining your pants and you look down at me in satisfied lust. I hope you screw my body.
I can't breath, coughing all over the place. My vision has blacked and my soul has expelled. Tell her I'm sorry. I die in your lap. My soul is expelled. My soul is expelled. Visions answered. My soul is expelled.
End of Chapter 2