(An: Sorry I skipped updates but my idiotic computer wouldn't let me on the bloody internet for three days straight!
PA: ...Ah. I see. Creepy.
Angel-in-Black: You win a mini-swamp rat! W00t w00t for you! I was wondering if anyone would pick up on that. God, I love that movie.
Ishy: I simply LOATH Belle. I wish I could kill her off in all my stories. Unfortunately, haven't gotten that opportunity.Your gold stars are pretty but rather distracting.
Star-of-Chaos: Yeah, I never liked the arranged marriage plot-device, seemed a tad antiquated and cliched. Paperwork scares me. -nods-
Heartsyhawk: Ah, oui, I know dat. ETA tends to mention you in her reviews.
Sweety: She's a leech/mushroom hybrid! And I just use plant 'cause technically fungi are plants and it's safer then just outright calling her a mushroom.
Fudje: Why do ppl always taunt me with alchohol? WHY?!?
ME: She's not dead, sadly. Can't kill her off in this one... but I can bash her beyond belief. Thank you for the cookie.
Les: Everyone seems to hate Belle. With good reason, stupid-Remy stealing bimbo. -growls-
I know I have more reviews by now but, once again, my computer is preventing me from seeing it.)
"Well, dis is different," said Remy. He charged a card. From its small light, he could see his hand and Rogue's face. He sighed and let it poof to ashes.
"Too bad Kurt ain't here. At least he can see in the dark," said Rogue.
"Oui, but I know m' way around," Remy pointed out. "Even in de dark. ...I t'ink anyway."
"That's it, we're doomed," said Rogue. There was a noise that suggested she had thrown her arms in the air.
Remy charged another card. "Come on, take m' hand. I t'ink I can find de fusebox."
Rogue rolled her eyes- at least Remy thought that was what she did, it was still really hard to see- but took the offered hand.
Remy had to concentrate to take his attention off Rogue's hand and switch it to finding the door to the meeting hall where the fusebox was. He felt the wall until he reached the door handle.
The meeting hall was empty. Jean-Luc and Marius were probably already working out the paperwork. He followed the wall until he reached the panel in the wall.
He lit a third card and opened it. He flipped what seemed to be the offending switch and there was a click and a humming sound as the power went back on. At the same time, a door opened beneath their feet.
Both landed on the ground with an unceremonious thud. The floor was dirt, so it didn't really hurt.. much.
"What happened?" asked Rogue, blinking up at the hole they had fallen through.
"Must've hit the trapdoor switch by mistake," said Remy, standing up. He noticed Rogue staring at him. "What?"
"You have a trapdoor?"
"Oui, security t'ing, every mansion needs one. Normal t'ing."
"Ya are so strange," said Rogue, shaking her head. "Now what?"
Remy began running his hands over the walls.
"Swamp rat, what're ya doin'?"
"Henri dumped m' in here a lot as a kid," said Remy. "Dere's a switch here somewhere."
"Ah see," said Rogue. "Ya sure they don't put anythin' in the water 'round here?"
"Huh?" asked Remy, pausing in his search to stare at her.
"'Cause your family is completely nuts."
"Non, now you're confusing us with de Bodreauxs. Dey de insane ones. Compared t' dem, m' family is perfectly normal and respectable." He touched a strange-looking brick and it slipped inward. A concealed door swung open in the wall. "Ah, dere w' go. Told y'." He walked down the tunnel that had opened, Rogue following close behind him. He was very aware of how close she was.
"Where does this lead?" asked Rogue, eyeing the slimy walls with suspicion.
"Above ground, t' dat one island I showed y' dis mornin'."
BACK AT THE MANSION, KITTY'S ROOM
"Well, it seems the power's back on," said Kurt. "Should we go look for Remy and Rogue?"
"I, like, guess so," said Kitty. The light had partially reawakened that nagging headache.
They headed off in no particular direction.
ABOUT HALF AN HOUR LATER
"Do you know where we are?" asked Kitty.
"Nope, no idea," said Kurt.
"That's, like, great, fuzzy. Just great."
Remy and Rogue were just walking by at the time. They were equally slimy and dusty, and stopped short when they heard Kitty's comment.
"Was Kitty just... sarcastic?!" asked Remy, looking shocked.
"Yeah," said Rogue. "Wierd, huh?"
Remy nodded. He seemed somewhat dazed.
"Remy? Remy!" Rogue snapped her fingers in front of his face.
A second later he blinked again. "What?"
"What is the matter with ya?! Yah're completely out of it!"
Remy looked at her. "You'd be as out of it as I 'm if your entire world was bein' turned on it's ear. Not'ing makes sense anymore!"
"Yah're the one makin' no sense. Explain."
"De most fundamental rules of de universe are bein' broken!"
" 'The most fundamental rules of the universe?' Ok, this one, Ah gotta hear."
"Well, in no particular order, dey go like dis: 1) I'm supposed to hate you. 2) You're supposed to hate m' back."
"What, ya mean we don't?" asked Rogue, eyebrow raised.
"Um, no, not anymore, apparently," said Remy, rubbing the back of his neck and avoiding her gaze. "Um, anyway, 3) Kitty is not supposed t' be sarcastic. Ever. She's supposed to be pink, in all aspects of her life. 4) is..." He trailed off, staring at the ceiling.
"What's four?" asked Rogue, tapping his shoulder.
He pointed at the ceiling. "4) is nobody should be able to make out on de ceiling. It's just not right."
Kurt and Kitty paused in their ceiling mack session to say in unison, "Don't deny it 'til you've tried it." Then they went back to business.
"Eeeeew," said Rogue and Remy, also in unison. They looked at each other, scared.
"Dis is really startin' t' freak m' out," said Remy, shuddering.
"Ya can say that again," agreed Rogue, also shuddering.
Remy smacked his forehead. "Dere goes number five."
"What's five?"
"We're not supposed to agree. On anything. EVER. But for dat, we'll make an exception, shall we?"
"Yeah, that's just wrong," said Rogue.
"It's scary. Scary in a bad way. Scarier den dis whole conversation, even."
"What's so scary about us talkin'?"
"Well, let's see, shall we? 1) Y' haven't called m' swamp rat. 2) Y' haven't insulted m'. 3) Y' haven't threatened t' hurt m'. 4) You're listening when I talk. And y' know what de scariest t'ing of all is?" His voice dropped to an apprehensive whisper.
Rogue leaned over by him. "Do enlighten meh," she said dryly.
For a split second a strange excitement entered Remy's eyes. But then he blinked, and seemed to snap out of it. "You've been doin' it all week," said Remy, quickly scooting away.
"Is that it? Swamp rat, yah're an idiot."
"Oui, but 'm your idiot. And y' love m' anyway, right?" The retort was flippant and absentminded, but Remy seemed to regret saying it.
"Is everythin' an ego trip with ya?" asked Rogue, disgusted.
"Usually, although wit' y' it's more of a fifty-fifty thing."
And then Rogue did something utterly strange (to Remy, anyway): She laughed.
Remy looked stunned. "Did y' jus' laugh? At one o' m' jokes? Intentionally?"
"Yeah, so?"
"Number six," said Remy. "You have never laughed at one o' m' jokes."
"Ya ever considered that maybe the rules've changed?"
Remy looked over at her, and an understanding that was just as strange as the excitement entered his eyes. "Oui, I guess dey do," he said softly.
"Then they aren't so fundamental, are they," said Rogue.
"Ah, but dey are," said Remy, nodding. "All rules change."
"How many of these 'rules of the universe' are there, anyway?"
"Lots," said Remy.
"And do all of them apply to us?"
"Only de first few dozen or so," said Remy with a shrug.
"Yah're really weird, Remy, has anyone ever told ya that?"
"Oui, y', at least once a day."
Rogue snorted.
"Are you two quite done?" Remy asked Kurt and Kitty as they jumped off the ceiling.
They looked at each other. "Guess so," they said in unison.
"Stop that!" said Rogue and Remy in unison.
"It's creepier when you two do it," said Kurt, nodding solemnly.
"Well, how'd the thing with Belle, like, go?" asked Kitty.
Remy grinned. "'M finally off de hook! Dey seem t' have given up on m' and Belle and have moved on t' de next generation!" He threw his arms in the air as though thanking the sky for this mercy. "And y' know what else dis means? WE CAN LEAVE!"
The other three nodded. "He's really scary when he's like this," whispered Kurt.
"Yeah," said Kitty.
"Now, anyway, where are we?" asked Kurt.
"By de guest wing," said Remy. "Come on, den." He walked into his room. There was the sound of things being emptied.
"So what were you guys doing?" asked Kitty, gesturing at the muck Rogue was covered in.
"As it turns out, Remy has a trapdoor switch in his fusebox. Isn't that weird?" asked Rogue.
Kitty nodded but Kurt said, "Hey, every mansion needs a trapdoor," before going in his room to pack.
"Ya know what's really weird?" asked Rogue.
"Like, what?"
"Remy said the exact same thing."
"Creeeeepy."
"Uh-huh."
Both girls walked into their rooms to pack.
(I think that was shorter than usual. I -will- attempt to make the next chapter longer, since it's the last. This is absolutely the most fun I've ever had on a story.)