Thank you very very much all who reviewed chapter 4
This includes:
BananaBelle, starbright, sam (good luck with those exams!), rae10!! and dracula5555
Also thanks for a kind of confusing one from carbytothecore which was just:
o shit
A bit confused over that one… but YES ok.
So here we are, it's chapter 5 and, as ever: Enjoy! Love LJ xXx
Beyond All Of Everything. Chapter Five. Our Moments
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o SUMMARY OF CHAPTER 4: Carter goes round to see that Abby is okay and, after some yelling, agrees to help her.
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Carter hurriedly dumps his stuff in his locker and marches straight to the admin desk, ignoring the many shouts from patients asking after their labs or whether they can go home yet. Right now, he has his own question to ask.
"Is Abby in yet?" he asks Jing-Mei Chen, who's signing off a chart.
"No," she answers, without looking up. "She called in sick a few minutes ago." Then she looks up with a growing smile. "What did you two get up to?"
"What? Nothing." He replies, innocently and starting to feel a little self-conscious. "Why do you ask that?"
"Ah, well Susan's told me all about it," she grins at him.
"What is there to tell? What did she tell you?" Now Carter is smiling, despite himself and Jing-Mei is walking away, still grinning away. Before, when Susan and Deb teased him about the women he was dating, he would just let them have their fun. He didn't know why he was denying it so persistently this time, but it was certainly turning out to be much more interesting for Chen and Lewis.
It has been two days and Carter can't help feeling a little rejected. He has neither seen nor spoken to her in two days. Was she avoiding him? Was that kiss on her doorstep totally out of line? Was it the guilt of cheating on her husband? Oh god, he had encouraged her to cheat on her husband. But then she had been the one that asked for help. But that was help as a friend. But she hadn't pulled away when he'd kissed her. Surely she would've stopped it if it wasn't the right thing to do?
He was reading far too much into this. Maybe she was just ill, like she said she was.
Maybe. He thought of the two of them standing together in her kitchen and how nervous yet somehow thrilled he has felt.
Maybe he should stop thinking about her so much. It was driving him insane.
He should definitely stop thinking about her.
And then, just as John Carter makes a personal pledge to himself to see how long he could go without thinking about Abby Lockhart, he rounds the corner and spots her in a darkened exam room. The blinds are half closed and it's very dark inside. It feels a tiny bit obsessive that he can recognise her simply from the curve of her shoulder and the way her hair falls across it but he wipes the thoughts from his mind and pushes the door open quietly.
"Feeling better?" he asks, softly. Abby turns, startled but as soon as she sees him, a guilty expression sweeps her face.
"Erm, yes – thanks." She answers hurriedly. He frowns slightly.
"What're you doing in here anyway?" he asks.
"Uh – I was just – well I was kind of…" she trails off. Carter looks around her; she is in the middle of bandaging her wrist.
"What's going on? What happened?"
"I sort of sprained it," she explains. "It's not too bad; it just needs a little support." Carter nods slowly and comes to sit opposite her.
"Here," he takes up the end of the bandage and unrolls it to look at it. "Let me help you out with this." Abby says nothing but watches him inspect the sprain under the light of a small desk lamp.
"How did this happen?" he asks as he works. Abby sighs – she had dreaded this inevitable question. She rubs her eyes with her other working hand.
"Carter – I was drunk." She tells him. His breath catches in his throat and he freezes momentarily though he doesn't look up. There's a long and awkward pause.
"So, can you wiggle your fingers?" he carried on, switching into professional mode.
"John – "
"Okay, so does it hurt here?" he pressed on her wrist and moves up it, refusing to look at her.
"John – listen to me." She urges and then breathes in sharply when he touches the bruised area of her wrist.
"Well, it's not a fracture," he speaks formally. "It should heal pretty quickly as long as you don't put any unnecessary pressure on it. I'll wrap it up for you."
"You're mad at me, aren't you?" she murmurs. He looks up at her.
"I just don't know why you do this." He sighs. "After all we said – I told you I'd help you out."
"You are helping." She insists.
"Yes, but are you?" he replies. Abby runs her tongue over her dry lips.
"If it makes you feel any better, I know it was stupid and I know that I'm weak. And I hate myself for it."
"Why would that make me feel better? Knowing that you're beating yourself up over this isn't going to stop you doing it again." He answers.
"No, I know – you're right." She whispers. Carter gazes at her – she does look completely disappointed in herself – she's let herself down.
"Listen, Abby. It's okay," he tucks a loose strand of her hair behind her ear and smiles slightly. "We all have moments – our weak points and times. It's easier to let go. But you know it's a mistake. You just need to get past this; it's just an addiction. It's just a stupid psychological glitch that's made you think you need it. You don't. You don't need it."
He finishes wrapping her wrist up and glances up. It is silent in the room and it's dark. She watches him like she's waiting for something but he knows he must not kiss her again. It's not fair on her. He can't make her feel like she's being unfaithful again – she already has enough on her mind.
"Well, we better get back to work." Carter shatters the silence. "Susan and Deb would never let me forget it if they found us in her with all the lights turned down." Abby laughs slightly. They leave the room together and she spends the rest of her working day going through all possible reasons of why he didn't kiss her.