Title: Death
Author: Sassy
Rating: G
Pairing: None
Show: Fade Away
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters. Joss Whedon does.
Summary: Angel considers Death and Nonexistence. It's a little drabble piece I've written.
Death
Death. It's funny to fear something as basic as death. Especially when you're already dead. A lot of people fear the dying part of death, the pain and suffering they assume will come with it. I can tell you from experience that it's not that bad. Actually, it's sort of like falling into a deep, comforting sleep. It's the fading into nonexistence part that terrifies me. I've lived - or unlived - an unnaturally long life. There's not reason to fear the nonexistence. I've had the chance to see so many things that no one else has gotten to see. I've seen centuries pass; I've been there when inventions were invented. I've loved and killed, maimed and tortured, fought and sought redemption. It just wasn't enough. I don't think I will ever have enough time existing on Earth, despite the guilt I feel for the things I've done. Most people fear the punishment they will face for the wrongs they have committed. I don't fear my punishment; I've already visited Hell. What can be worse than that? Oh. Right. Nonexistence.
I have never felt so selfish as I do right now, pondering the meaning of life and death while thousands of demons rage towards me. I've cheated death a million times. How many times have others been able to do it with the exception of Buffy?
Doyle hadn't. He had sacrificed himself as a hero to save a bunch of Lister half-demons. And Cordelia.
Cordelia hadn't. She gave up her stardom to become a half-demon to serve the Powers that Be and they rewarded her by allowing her to die.
Fred hadn't. She was forced out of her body painfully for being so sweet and inquisitive.
Wesley hadn't. He had given his life nobly to save the world from turning into Hell due to Wolfram and Hart, even after the world had done nothing to deserve his rescue.
Even Lindsey MacDonald and Lilah Morgan hadn't been able to escape death, even when they made deals with the Devil and other assorted evil.
Why was I able to escape death so often? And why had my chances run out?