Disclaimer: Although I wish I did, and it would be very convenient, I do not own Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Cries I wanted it for Christmas, but didn't get it. ;;

The Tasuki Mattress?

"What th' hell?!? How'd these people get inside this box? They couldn't possibly fit!" exclaimed Tasuki as he stared wide-eyed at a black box with moving pictures on it.

"Relax," said Keisuke, "It's a TV. Kinda like a book, but with pictures instead of words. Anyway, there aren't any people in there, they're simply filmed and copied." Tasuki and Kouji stared blankly at him. He sighed, "Nevermind."

Over breakfast, Miaka and Keisuke interrogated the pair, "So, how did you get here?" asked Keisuke.

"Some weird red light, then, bang! I was in a dark room, or as you say 'pantry.'"

"Why don't you remember me?" Miaka sniffed. They had been through so much together, and yet he didn't remember her, "I mean, we traveled together for months; you offering to fry me with your tessen, and me eating all the time. I really did miss you, but even more, I missed the wonderful Chinese cuisine."

"You missed food more'n me?!? I mean, I don't say I remember you 'r anythin', but if ya did miss food more'n me, I don't think I even want t' be yer friend."

"I remember ya," Kouji stated bluntly.

"Y- you do?" Miaka went all bubbly eyed and chibi, "That makes me so... HAPPY!!!"

Then there was a clash of thunder and green and red light appeared, momentarily blinding everyone.

"Ouchies, that hurt,"came a voice from the ceiling, "Shinju-chan, you need to learn how to teleport better, ceiling fans don't make good landings." Everyone looked up, with the exception of Tasuki, who was battling to remove a teenage brunette from completely suffocating him. "But then again, I'm pretty sure you're happy sitting on Tasuki-san's face."

The short blonde somehow managed to disentangle herself from the blades of the fan, wobbling slightly after being whirled around several times. "Next time, please oblige in leaving your fan off." She received many blank stares, except for Tasuki who was turning blue because a certain brunette was strangle-hugging him.

"Oh," said the blonde, prying her friend off the fiery redhead, "I'm Mie and that's Shinju. I hope you can forgive my friend, she has a little bit of an obsession with Tasuki-san, or should I say: COMPLETE WORSHIP!" She received more blank stares.

"Um," Miaka said tentatively, "How do you know about us?"

"Hm?" it was Shinju's turn to answer, "Oh, we know everything, except dancing, we don't dance." She squeezed Tasuki harder and he let out a strangled cry and turned a deeper shade of purple.

"Shall we demonstrate?" Mie asked. Not waiting for an answer, she grabbed Shinju, gripping both of the brunette's hands in her own. They danced around stupidly, knocking down various objects as they went, and finally, they "gracefully" ran into Tasuki, knocking him over, while giggling uncontrollably.

"See?" they chorused, "We don't dance." Everyone else sweatdropped.

"I can kind of tell," Tasuki managed to say from underneath Shinju and Mie.

Mie hopped off Tasuki, but Shinju stretched out on her seat and lay down on top of him, pinning him down.

"What th' hell 'r ya doin'?!?" he asked struggling and failing to get up.

"Mmm," Shinju said, "just like a mattress: Soft and firm." Everyone else sweatdropped.

"Uh, Shinju-chan, I wouldn't do that if I were you, Tasuki-san has a tessen, and well, barbequed Shinju-chan doesn't sound very appealing..." she trailed off, noticing not only that Shinju wasn't listening, but she was, in fact, asleep and snoring peacefully.

Tasuki had decided to take a nice, long walk, A.K.A., get away from his brunette of a stalker. He paused for a while, and as soon as he was sure that he wasn't being followed, he sat down in the shade of a nearby tree.

Then, for the second time that day, something heavy and alive landed splat on his face.

"Agh! Who th' hell? If that's Shinju then yer toast, literally!" The figure got off of him quickly, dusting off her skirts. It wasn't Shinju; it was a girl with black hair made into two buns.

"R- Reirei?!?" Tasuki gasped in surprise. "I thought you were dead. So how...?" he trailed off as she ran forward and hugged him tightly around the waist.

"I- I was saved, at the last moment," she said.

"How?"

"Well, I'll tell you..."

Suddenly a chorus of people came from no where, singing, "She's going to tell, she's going to tell..." They kept on singing until Tasuki scared them away with his tessen.

"So how are you alive?" he asked after the annoying chorus had left.

"Well, it turns out I was never really dead, I slowly made my way out of the grave by eating the dirt. Once I was out, an old woman found, and took care of me, slowly nursing me back to health. I was living with her until some strange red light appeared and took me away. After that I think I lost consciousness. When I woke up, I was in a tree; then I fell out and landed on you."

Tasuki stared at her, then he awkwardly said, "Ano... er, sorry 'bout th' whole burying ya thin'... umm... wait, did ya say ya ate th' dirt?"

"Uh, yeah.""That's just disgusting!" She looked at the ground; embarrassed, "Er, no disrespect 'r nothin'. I'm just glad yer alive!" They embraced again, tighter this time, Reirei crying onto his shoulder.

"Tasuki-kun!!!" yelled a near-by voice. Tasuki winced as a short brunette hugged him around the waste from behind.

"Ano... Genrou, who is that?" asked Reirei, looking slightly discontented at the sight of a possible "rival."

"This, is er... this is Shinju, she seems to be obsessed with me," he shuddered as she hugged him tighter saying, "My Koi!"

(Shinju Note: This means "love" or "fish" in Japanese, you guess which one I'm using.)

"Get th' hell offa me, ya damn freak! An' stop callin' me yer "koi", I'm not a freakin' fish!" he said pushing the obsessed monkey away from him. (Mie gets whapped on the head Shinju Note: I'm not a monkey!)

The three of them made their way back to the apartment; Tasuki arguing with Shinju about whether or not he was her koi, while Reirei just stared at them looking both desolate and melodramatic.

As they reached the apartment building, Kouji walked out, "I've been lookin' for ya, where th' hell were y-" he stopped short as he caught sight of Reirei. "Reirei!" he exclaimed, grabbing her in a tight hug, "How 'r ya... I thought ya were dead."

"I'll tell you later," she said, "Right now I'm hungry." Her stomach agreed with her, growling enthusiastically.

Next on Everyday Defects:

Kouji: Well, looks like there'll be some more people: Monkie and that other Tasuki lover... sheesh, I don't see what's so good about Gen-chan

(whap both Shinju and Reirei hit Kouji over the head with their fists)

Kouji: Well, join us for th' next chapter of Everyday Defects: "The Sky is Blue and so are You? Where the hell do they get these names?

Mie note: If you don't review, I may stop posting... please review, onegei.