And so the carby continues

I think most peoples' favourite line in this whole thing was:

"You"

Heh heh

Well I have a lot of you to thank

Many of the following gave pretty long reviews too, which was much appreciated

So thanks goes to:

Carby luva 313, Dracula5555, mcan3, hyperpiper91, loocy, fiery red-haired girl, Karen, Angel Dust, eve1980. britgirl2003, Proffy, Hibbs, starbright, matchstickgirl, Abby Lockhart2, Carby-Always, Caroline25 and mandi

I really am grateful for or your comments

But let's move on

I doubt this is what you came to read

Enjoy! Love LJ xXx

Beyond All Of Everything. Chapter Fifteen. Second Place

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o SUMMARY OF CHAPTER 14: Abby finally tells Carter everything. Carter tells her how he feels.

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"What's the one thing that, if it was taken away from you, you just wouldn't be able live anymore?"

He looks at her and answers simply: "You."

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Abby gapes at him; now it's her turn to be shocked. Carter watches her nervously with the hint of an apologetic smile. She begins to walk towards him, then stops, then does it again but thinks better of it, turns and walks away. That wasn't something Carter had wanted to see.

"Abby?"

She stops again and turns back to him.

"Well," she says, finally. "I didn't see that one coming." Carter smiles.

"Neither did I," he admits. "I'm sorry."

"Jesus, Carter – it's not your fault."

"But I'm sorry." He hesitates. "I love you." Abby brings her hands over her mouth and looks distinctly upset.

"Please don't say that…"

"I'm not asking you to leave your husband or anything," he insists. "Although I think you should."

"John, you know I can't."

"Abby, you're getting hurt," he tells her. "Really badly."

"Carter, listen – I love my son," Abby says, firmly.

"I can't watch you get hurt like this."

"Then don't watch," she replies shortly. Carter looks hurt.

"I'm sorry," she sighs. "There is nothing you can do. My life…it's manageable."

"Is that what you call it? Getting knocked unconscious and raped?" he demands with oddly shining eyes. "That's manageable?"

"God, I don't care, John," she shouts. "I don't care what he does to me – just as long as Ollie is okay."

"Would he be okay if his mother was killed?" Carter's tone is strangely constricted.

"It's my fault that he's caught up in this, anyway," she answers. "I should have given him up when he was a baby but I was selfish and had to keep him." Carter can't believe what he's hearing.

"How can you blame yourself for this?"

"As soon as Richard dragged him into this whole mess of a life I should've had him adopted or something," her voice shakes and cracks as she starts to express this deep guilt that she had always held. "But I didn't. I just couldn't let him go. If anything happens to him, it is my fault. I had to let him suffer with me, didn't I?"

"Abby…" Carter takes her face in both hands and makes her look at him. "It is not your fault. How can you even think that?"

"I should have let him go."

"He's your son. He deserves to be with you. He needs you," he replies. "And you have to take care of yourself – for him."

"You just don't get it, John," she shakes her head.

"Maybe I don't, but I love you," he repeats.

"Please don't say that again," she protests weakly.

"I love you."

"John, don't. Please." she begs. "This isn't fair; I can't love you. Ollie will always come first."

He gazes at her, just struggling to comprehend this painfully complicated situation. She looks at him with a sad smile before leaning up and kissing him.

"I'm sorry, John." She whispers as she pulls away. He watches as she walks away, past him and back down the sidewalks. He starts to go after but stops and just stares, wordlessly.

"I love you," he croaks, suddenly finding his voice. She starts to run; his shout is left to echo around the empty street and suddenly he is alone.

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