Disclaimer: Well I own absolutely no one, or anything associated with DC or Marvel Comics and have of course no legal rights to Harry Potter, this is only for amusement so please don't sue me, I make absolutely no money. Okay I own nothing!!!!!
Authors note: Sorry it's been such a long time! Just to remind you Minerva and Snape hijacked Lupin's motorcycle and Hermione and George with the assistance of our Sirius Black are trying to find them, we'll save Neville eventually...btw I think Neville will be admitted to the Justice League of Hogwarts, but what superhero should he be? Any suggestions will be quite welcome.
Dedication: KeithUrbanFan...hehehehe...flying motorcycles....
Enjoy.
DC Comics and Bad Tea: The Return of the Dark Knight
5 hours after hijacking....
"Minerva take a bloody left!!!!" Snape shouted into Minerva ear. Snape was disgruntled beyond all reason after missing the past two exists due to Minerva's bad ear (selective hearing more like it.). Minerva relented and decided to take the bloody left and she sped on the motorcycle; it was now around 11 in the morning and their complimentary hotel basket was running out of goodies.
"Severus! Where is Deatheaters HQ anyways?" Minerva asked for the hundredth time as she came to a stop at the street light. Severus grumbled and put a handful of chocolate covered raisins in his mouth and said, "Stop (munch) asking me (munch) that (munch) woman! And go (munch) it's a green light." Minerva sighed and hit the gas, making Snape choke on his chocolate covered raisons, which Snape had come to love, "Alas betrayed by chocolate." Minerva laughed as Snape gagged on them violently.
Driving through the streets of London was no easy task for either Severus or Minerva, which were clad in Wonder Woman, and Batman suits. This brought unwelcome looks, but they tried their best to ignore such things by riding faster on Lupin's bike, which was really just a dull muggle motorcycle. About another twenty minute passed before finally a very exhausted Severus Snape said: Stop! Minerva hit the breaks and their bodies' shook violently forward as they tried to remain placed in their seats. (Inertia is a property of matter...okay who's on something today...). Minerva gazed at the wide buildings. In big bright red the comical letters were spread in their entire childish splendor:
Chucky Cheeses
Minerva looked at Severus in disbelief. "You have got to be joking you stupid #$&!#$" ( Minerva has a potty mouth ; (
"Minerva I joke seldom." Snape said with a little surprise at Minerva's slip of words. Minerva got off the bike and looked at it carefully.
"You are telling me that the great dark lord's hideout is in a children amusement place! This is as funny as it disgusting." Minerva said as a bloated Snape followed her.
Authors note: for those who do not know what a chucky cheeses is, it is a fun zone for children where they eat a lot of pizza and are entertained by huge men in animal suits...think like a very miniature Disneyland or Camelot, very small.
"I shall take care of this." Snape said getting in front of Minerva. By the entrance a cardboard rat with a cap greeted them in. Snape opened the door with the small traces of dignity left in both of them. A tall young man with a long nose and drooping blue eyes looked at them quizzically, Snape stared down at the young man and said,
"We are here to entertain..."
"You sure are," The teenager said trying to suppress his laughter, "Go ahead and do what your supposed to do." He said letting them pass through the twisty bars. The place was bustling with laughing children and laser lights. It smelled of bubbling soda and crispy cheesy pizza...(pizza...mwaaa...must have...) They didn't make it very far however, a small redheaded child with crazy green eyes snapped her little head up and saw both of them, with her sharp little voice she announced them.
"Look everyone it Batman and Wonder Woman!!!!" with that the little kids flocked over there, tugging at them and of course bugging the crap out of Severus Snape.
"Do you think these children work for Voldemort?"
"No...but I wouldn't be surprised." Snape said trying to keep the children away from his wand. "We have to get to the lower levels..."
"But how?"
"We need to get rid of these kids." Snape said as a pair of twins began to pull on his cape. Minerva shook her head and looked for help and then just beyond her a man in a suit was lumbering around.
"Umm children look it...um...what's his name, oh for the love of Merlin there's a big animal go chase him down!" Minerva commanded the children who all to happily obliged and went to harass the animal-man.
"Well what now?" Minerva asked as Snape adjusted himself.
"Lets find the rat."
Hermione and George followed Sirius as he floated quickly out of the castle. The fields of green glistened brightly in the sun comforting Hermione just the slightest. Sirius's form was difficult to see in the light, but his voice was clear and strong.
Now this is going to sound weird to you...it did for me at the beginning as well...
"Wait! Sirius are you a ghost?" George said hastily. Sirius shook his transparent luminescent head.
No, it's hard to explain, Have any of you seen Star Wars?
Hermione shook her head and so did George, Dumbledore had shown them classic muggle arts such as film just a couple of months ago.
Okay think of me as Yoda, except I am a part of a bigger thing, kind of like the Force but different, do you get it?
Hermione and George gave him empty stares...
Whatever all right lets just go and save the others 'k? Now listen I need you to put these on.
In Sirius's hand two pairs of sparkling red shoes materialized. Hermione and George blinked disbelievingly.
"You dragged us outside to sport a couple of dancing shoes?" George said as he placed them on his foot.
No, just listen; we can't exactly apparate directly to where they are so we'll have to make some pit stops on the way. Now, repeat after me there is no place like Remus' s there is no place like Remus's...
Hermione and George did as Sirius asked and in flash of light they were gone. (Don't underestimate the power of the red glittery shoes)
"Severus we've been looking for over an hour, I see no rat." Minerva said impatiently to Snape. He stopped and pointed at a clock.
"Minerva you see that? When the it's about twelve, he'll come out."
"Or maybe that's him now." Minerva pointed to a huge gray lump with ears and broken whiskers. It lumbered over to them proclaiming joy and dispersing tickets and such. Snape glared at him and walked over to him.
"Don 't tell me, is that you Macnair?" Snape said stopping the rat in its tracks. Minerva thought she was going to go insane if things didn't go back to normal. In all her life she never thought that she would see this.
" Little boy, go and eat pizza heheheheh here's some tokens." The gray rat said patting Snape on the head.
" I am not a little boy." Snape said angrily punching the rat on the face. Minerva gave a small squeak as the rat nearly collapsed. Snape caught him in midair and began to drag him.
"Snape, where are you taking him?" Snape indicated to the staff bathroom. Minerva quickly helped stash the rat's body in there. Within the safety of the bathroom Snape began to pace around.
"What now Severus?" Minerva asked as she inspected her surroundings.
"Now we get into Voldemort's layer...he should know the password." Snape pointed at the rat. Minerva looked at him and then at the rat, she moved closer to it and pulled the large rat mask off. Macnair eyes were closed and his breathing was quite shallow. Snape went over to him and kicked his shins.
"Wake up you bloody idiot." Macnair howled in pain and he rubbed his shins.
"What do you want?" He cried out. Snape's lips curled as he removed his cowl and mask. "Severus?" Macnair said in surprise. His eyes widened as Snape's face lowered itself close to his.
"What's the password?"
"I'm not telling you." Macnair said defiantly. Snape's mouth curled once more maliciously.
"Minerva. Could you assist me with flushing this piece of ..."
"With pleasure Severus." Minerva said with a small smile on her face.
3 minutes later...
Flush
"What's the password?" Snape said holding Macnair's head over the toilet. Macnair remained silent, Snape nodded his head at Minerva as he dunked Macnair's head into the toilet and Minerva flushed the toilet.
"This is a lot of fun."
Flush
"I would agree." Snape said as he pulled out Macnair's wet head out of the toilet. " What's the password?" Snape asked again. Macnair remained silent once more and Snape dunked his head upon the toilet once more.
Flush
"What if he doesn't tell..." Minerva said as she flushed the toilet again. Snape gave her another smile. This time instead of pulling Macnair's head out, he kept it there for an extended period of time.
"Rat's gotta breath." He said. Macnair's head stayed submerged for a very long time in the toilet's water. Soon however, Macnair's furry arms began to sway.
"Should we let him breath?" Minerva said.
"Hmm...why not?" Snape said pulling Macnair head out. He was gasping for air and yelling out.
"Coco puffs! Coco Puffs!"
"Is that the password?" Snape asked. Macnair nodded in reassurance. Snape gave another smile. "Here's for being a rat." And dunked his head into the water once more. Minerva happily obliged and flushed it once more. Snape pulled Macnair out of the water and threw him over to the other side.
"Minerva flush the toilet five times really fast." Minerva complied and did so. The water swooshed violently and all of a sudden the ground underneath the toilet began to glow, and then it vanished completely. Where the bathroom used to be lay a case of stairs, which lead to darkness.
"Ladies go first." Snape said sarcastically.
"Yes please go on ahead Severus." Minerva said with a little smile on her face.
They descended down the pair of stairs, it seemed like it would never end.
Hermione and George along with Sirius suddenly appeared in the back lot of some hotel.
"Is this where Professor Lupin works?" Hermione asked Sirius. Sirius nodded and guided them out into the front.
Go on let's talk to Remus...we don't have much time we really don't.
They opened the door to the hotel and cautiously stepped in. It was quite empty, with the exception of course of Lupin, who looked disgruntled, which was not very common of him to be.
"What do you want?" Lupin snapped at them, not realizing that it was Hermione and George at first.
"Children?" He said as his vision adjusted. He believed he was seeing things, but there they all were Sirius, Hermione and George, who with the exception of Sirius were clad in costumes.
"Professor so good to see you again." Hermione said with a huge grin on her face. Lupin however did not return the smile.
"Are you here to steal some of my possessions too?" He said sarcastically.
"What are you talking about?" George said slightly insulted by the comment.
Lupin have you seen Minerva and Severus?
"Sirius? Yeah, they took my bike."
Sorry to hear that...
"Sure you are, anyways, they were here several hours ago, I don't doubt that they reached their destination by now."
Thank you Lupin, we'll be on our way then...
"Wait that's it you just came here to-"
We'll chat later Lupin how about four that sounds good?
"Yeah...
Well kids we're off to Deatheaters HQ then, you know the drill...
Another flash of light and they were gone. Lupin sighed and grabbed a book to read.
Minerva and Severus reached the bottom of the staircase and in front of them stood a big iron door with a serpent and a skull carved into it. Minerva shuddered as Snape approached it.
"Coco Puffs." Snape whispered to it. The door glowed green and red and then slowly it opened revealing the room inside. Peter Pettigrew stood in the center with a very big smile.
"We've been expecting you." He said pointing his wand at Snape.
"Where is the boy, Peter?" Snape said pulling out his own wand.
"Come in and look..."
Severus and Minerva stepped in to the room, which was just vibrating with bad auras and such. To their horror there stood in the opposite side of the room a tall scaly looking Voldemort with Neville pressed against his chest. Voldemort held his wands tip at Neville's temple. Neville's cheeks were stained with tears and his eyes were wide with terror.
"Neville?" Minerva gasped putting hand over her mouth. Voldemort cackled violently as he beheld the fear in both Minerva and Severus.
"Well, if it isn't the traitorous servant of mine and his little consort." Voldemort said angrily at both of them. Minerva bit her bottom lip as she saw Neville begin to tremble.
"Let the boy go, I am here this is who you wanted." Snape said matching Voldemort's anger.
"It's not that simple I m afraid, you see in order for me to let the little boy go, I want your allegiance, your servitude at my side. You 're a powerful wizard Severus Snape; it would be a shame to exterminate such talent. The Potter boy can be crushed under our combined efforts. Think of it Severus, the glory, fame, whatever you like under the labor of those filthy muggles and mud bloods."
"I do not desire those things Voldemort, that's who I might have been years ago, but that's not me anymore."
"Well if you don't the boy will die and so will you...make your choice Severus." Voldemort said eagerly.
"Don't do it professor! I'm not worth it!" Neville cried out. Minerva looked at Snape and then at Neville. Snape gave a small feeble smile, not one of sarcasm or malignancy, but an actual smile.
"A benevolent offer Mr. Longbottom." Snape said staring at the boy, "But unlike me, you would be horribly missed. Voldemort, let the boy go, I will join you."
Voldemort gave a really evil smile to the both of them. He pushed Neville forward and he ran straight to professor McGonagall who in turn embraced the boy. Snape looked at Professor McGonagall.
"Run out of here both of you. Tell all of them that I am sorry." Snape said to Minerva. Minerva understood what he was apologizing for; it was not for joining Voldemort. Snape's eyes told her this was the last time they'd see each other again. Minerva's eyes watered in protest, but she knew it had to be done.
"Come along Neville." Minerva said keeping her voice steady. They started for the door, but as they did a barrier formed around them.
"Voldemort, I thought-"Snape said, but was cut off by Voldemort's harsh cackle.
"You thought wrong Mr. Snape, now did you really think I would allow you to become my servant that easily, you must prove your alliance to me. Torture them, with the cruciatus curse, you don't have to kill them, I promised they would live, but you must torture them for at least an hour."
Minerva's eyes widened with terror and Neville looked like he was going to break down into tears. Snape face grew pale, he could not do it but f he didn't they were all doomed to die; if he killed himself like he had planned to they would still die, either way he was dammed. Perhaps Snape thought he could hit Voldemort, but what would be the consequences?
"Well, Severus Snape?" Voldemort said with pleasure dripping from his voice.
"I can't do it." Severus said forcefully, they would all die; he would not bring the curse upon them.
"I see then Severus, you have doomed yourself and everyone else, what a shame. I suppose I'll kill them in front of you so you at least get to see the consequences of your mistake." With that said Voldemort enchanted Snape and bound him in ropes so that he could not help them. "We shall start with the little boy first." Neville's body stiffened and he came out of the force field, he could not stop himself as the tears spilled onto the down his little cheeks.
"I 'm sorry Professor its all my fault." Neville said bravely. Snape watched in horror, he could not say anything, he wanted to say that it wasn't his fault but his mouth was not free to do so.
"Don't cry Mr. Longbottom, you will not suffer the same fate as your parents did, you served me well little one." Voldemort said pulling his wand up in the air to strike the curse down at him. Minerva was trying hard to get out of the force field, but to no avail.
"Avada Kerda-
Voldemort Voice was cut off as the door violently swung open and in came George and Hermione followed by Sirius.
"Let him Go! Stupefy!" Hermione Screamed and out of her wand the stunning spell came out and hit Voldemort. Peter Pettigrew who had been silent during the ordeal began to cower in a corner.
"Hermione!" Minerva cried out, George came over to the rescue and released her from the force field.
"What up Wonder Woman?" He said grinning at her.
"This is not a time to joke we need to get out of here, get Severus out of those ropes."
Hermione and George ran over to Snape to cut binds with their bat boomerangs.
"What the bloody hell are you two doing here?" He said as he straightened himself up.
"Hey! How about thanks you saved my sorry carcass Robin? Nice to see you Batgirl?" George said angrily as Sirius came about.
Leave before he awakens, his minions are coming to his aid...
"Thank you so much Sirius we couldn't have don it with out you!" Hermione said.
Yeah I know...umm I have to go...and I am taking those back...(red shoes reappearing his hands) I left some brooms out there for you two now leave!
Sirius vanished leaving all four of them with very weird expressions on their face.
"Umm I think we should leave now..." Neville said quietly. Snape nodded and they began to head out.
"Wait I want to leave a little present for everyone here. Squirillensortia!!!" All of a sudden a horde of squirrels appeared and started to run all over the place. They all began to run up toward the upper levels, the squirrels along with them.
"George where did you learn how to do that?" McGonagall asked George simply shrugged and continued to run up the stairs. Finally they reached the upper level, where Macnair was still uttering the words coco puffs. Snape hastily opened the door and stepped out to the amusement area. Squirrels were pouring out of the vents and the bathrooms, people were screaming in pandemonium. This was the perfect time to make their escape. They all ran desperately across the place to the exit, where the brooms and the motorcycle were.
"To bad Remus's bike doesn't fly!" Minerva said mounting it. Severus and Neville managed to fit on to it and George and Hermione got onto the brooms. "
"So much for not letting muggles see us" Hermione muttered.
"Screw them!" Minerva said starting the engine.
"See you back in Hogwarts!" George said pushing up from the ground.
However, just when they were all going to take off, Minerva looked carefully at the dashboard of the motorcycle.
FLY ME...
A button was just there waiting to be pushed.
"Hold on real tight all you!" She said pushing the button, just then the bike began to hover.
"It flies!" Neville said in surprise. Minerva smiled and looked at the others with a sparkle that had not been seen in years.
"What are all of you waiting for!" She said taking off from the ground. Hermione and George smiled and flew after them. No one saw them leave into the heavens, and off our heroes went all was well for now.
oOooOo
Finally, Neville has been rescued! Thank You all for the wonderful reviews!Till next post!