Chapter 4: History is Open to Interpretation or All the Facts do not a Life Story Make

"She's awake and asking for Wash."

Mal looked up from the seat he had been warming for the last thirty minutes, then sighed. "Alright. No use in putting this off then," he said, more for his own benefit than for Simon's. "Anything else I need to know before I see her?"

Simon shook his head. "No. We haven't really told her anything other than that she had collapsed, but I'm pretty sure she already knows she lost the baby."

"How can you know that?"

"She would have asked if her baby was OK. It's the first thing a woman does if she thinks that her unborn is in danger." The young doctor ran a hand through his hair and looked decidedly depressed. "Zoe didn't ask, which means she knows that there isn't any hope. That woman is as sharp as she is short on words."

"That she is, doc." Mal rubbed his eyes and tried to look less like he had spent hours in a hospital waiting room. Then he headed through the double doors and up the corridor to his second in command's room.

Her eyes locked on his as soon as he entered. He moved quickly to her side and took her hand. "How are you feeling, ài rén?" he asked.

"Not good," she whispered hoarsely. "Baby didn't make it. I could tell as soon as I saw Simon's face."

"I know." He was trying with little success not to show how saddened he was by that fact.

"Where's Wash?"

"Don't rightly know. He took off before we could even tell him you had collapsed. Kaylee knows where he was headed. She'll bring him back."

Zoe looked away from him, but not before he saw her trying to compose her expression. She was trying very hard not to give in to tears.

Mal dropped to his knees beside her bed and put his arms around her. Truth was that she was his best friend, that they rarely ever touched each other despite that, but there were times when you had to reach out to those you cared for, those you trusted, and this was one of them. She had to deal with what had happened.

He tightened his arms, hugging her to him. "Zoe, you will never know how sorry I am that this happened to you," he whispered. "But I am so grateful that I didn't lose you today – I almost did, you know."

Her own arms wrapped around him and she buried her face against his shoulder. After a minute of fighting she gave in to the tears.

"I wanted this child so badly," she sobbed. "But I went about it the wrong way. I should have waited for him to want the child too. Instead I stirred up some bad Karma, Mal. The child wasn't meant to live and maybe it might have if I had done things differently."

Mal pulled his head up and forced her to look at him. "Now don't you go talking about such things! This isn't anyone's fault; it's just the way life is sometimes. You gotta accept that and move on. I'm sure that husband of yours will feel the same about it when he learns what happened, and I doubt he'll give you such a hard time about it next time you're ready to bring up the idea of a child."

She composed herself, sniffing back unshed tears. "Wash is every bit as stubborn as you are, Mal," she whispered. "He won't back down on this. He won't even hear of us having a child unless..."

"Unless what?" Mal pressed her when she didn't continue.

"Unless I leave off being your second and settle down."

"Settle down?"

"You know: build a life with him somewhere that's safe to raise children."

Mal shook his head. "Damned man actually believes such a place exists in this time and space? Where the hell did you find him, in a time warp?"

"Didn't. You did."

He smiled. "I don't know how I'll ever make that up to you."

Zoe snorted. "No need. Think I'll keep him, if he'll let me." She looked around the room. "When will they let me out of here?"

"Simon says you can go in the morning, soon as they're certain you ain't gonna lose any more blood."

She nodded. "Mal?"

"Yeah?"

"Call Kaylee. Tell her to leave off trying to find him."

Both his eyebrows shot up. "Whatever are you thinking, gal?"

"I'm thinking that I want him to work through this, that I want him to come back cause he wants to, not cause he feels compelled to."

He stood up and gave her a stern look. "Man's got a right to know."

"He will, sir. Just not right away."

"Alright then." Mal patted her arm. "I'll be by in the morning to collect you. Inara will be wanting to stay with you tonight if you'll let her."

"She back already?" Zoe asked, surprised at the news.

Mal couldn't keep the sadistic smirk off his face. "Turns out that her latest client is the doctor who saved your life. Since he was on call, he had to run out on her, but not before she heard what was going on and figured out it was you from the description."

"That pleases you no end, doesn't it?" It was Zoe's turn to smirk.

Serenity's captain just smiled and turning, left the room.

Wash spent the better part of an hour wandering aimlessly through the side streets of the city. Fact of the matter was that he felt deeply conflicted over what to do next. On the one hand he welcomed the idea of finding something fun to do, as it would take his mind off some of his troubles. But on the other hand, he also feared being noticed by the authorities after the dÄ