Author's Notes: Well, here it is, Chapter Five. It's the longest chapter
so far, but probably won't be the longest of the entire story. I'm not
sure if that's good or bad news. Probably good for readers, but bad for my
fingers (
In other news, I have been updating around once a week or so, but I've recently started working at a temp agency, and while the paycheck is nice, I have a lot less free time on my hands. Don't worry, I'm still working dillegently on the story, but it may be a little longer for updates. If updates start taking a really long time, and you're concerned about my progress, the best thing to do would be to go to my profile and send me an e-mail. I'd be happy to respond (as long as the e-mail is polite) and let you know how it's going.
Thanks again for reading, and don't forget to review and let me know what you think!
Disclaimer: I own nothing thus far other than the plot. All events through the end of Season 3 have occurred, but I'm trying to stay spoiler free for the upcoming season. Any similarities between what I've written and what will occur in Season 4 are coincidence. Chapter titles are borrowed from various Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers songs. I don't own those either.
**********
Chapter Five: I Won't Say Good-bye My Friend
Luke finished the final wipe-down of the counter and turned to take the rag back to the kitchen. He caught sight of the phone out of the corner of his eye and paused. He'd talked to Rory last night but hadn't yet called Jess back. He wasn't afraid to talk to the boy like Rory seemed to be; he just didn't know what to say. Last night's conversation with Rory could have gone better, and Luke wasn't sure he was helping the situation. It was just so hard to talk to Rory about Jess. Hell, he'd only just gotten comfortable talking to Rory about anything that wasn't directly related to Lorelai, food, or basic home repair. Of course, they had a little more in common now. Jess had hurt both of them, and it had become a point of bonding for them. Rory could sit at the counter, Luke could stand behind it and pour her coffee, and they could each know that the other understood what they were feeling without having to say anything. It had worked well for them, not talking about it. Of course, they couldn't do that anymore. Luke was jolted out of his reverie by the clinking of the bell over the door and a boisterous command from the doorway of the diner.
"Lucas! Java me!" Lorelai cried out, dropping onto a stool near the register. "I've just had the most awful day. I'll never understand contractors. It's like they exist in their own time zone."
Luke, still frustrated and unsure of what he was doing getting involved in Jess and Rory's relationship again, was shorter than he meant to be with Lorelai. "Coffee pot's been cleaned. We're closed."
"When have you ever been closed to me?" Lorelai asked. "Come on! It's me!"
"I've always been closed to you at this hour," Luke sighed. "You just never listen."
"Wow, aren't you Mr. Cranky-pants tonight. Did Bert run away or something?"
"No, Jess did."
Lorelai's eyes widened. "Oh, man. Did he get in contact with you too? Who the hell does that little punk think he is, anyway? He wrote Rory this note, and she . . ."
"I know," Luke interrupted, turning to face Lorelai.
"Wait, what?"
"I know about the letter. Rory told me."
"Why?"
Luke wanted to bang his head against the wall. Life never used to be this complicated. "She wanted to know if I had a phone number for Jess."
Lorelai drew a sharp breath. "And do you?"
"Yeah."
"And did you give it to her?"
"Yes." He cringed waiting for the explosion. He didn't have to wait long.
"How could you, Luke?!" Lorelai screamed. "You know what that boy did to my daughter! And what about what he did to you, to everyone? How could you give him a way to try and weasel back into her life?"
"Because she asked me to!" Luke gripped the edge of the counter tightly. "Do you know how much pain Rory's in, Lorelai? Jess left, and she decided, for whatever reason, to brush it off. The two of you went to Europe, and that took her mind off of it for a while, but you had to come home eventually. Starting Yale helped, but she's still in this town all the time, Lorelai. She still has to see all of the places that she and Jess used to hang out and remember all of the things, good and bad, that they did together."
"Rory is fine," Lorelai insisted. "She's over Jess. She's moved on."
Luke shook his head. "No, she hasn't. Do you know that Rory used to come over here at night before she started school again, when I was closing up, and just sit here. She sat here, drank coffee, and cried because she couldn't cry at home."
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"It means that Rory knows how happy you are that Jess is gone. She knows that you think she should be happy that he took off, that it'll make her life better, that he'd only have held her back somehow."
Lorelai's eyes lit with anger. "I do NOT think that!"
"Maybe not out loud, but in the back of your mind you think exactly that."
"She could still talk to me about him."
"That's just it, Lorelai." Luke leaned forward so he was starting directly into Lorelai's eyes. "She didn't want to talk about it. She just wanted someone to understand that she needed to be upset without trying to make her feel better or telling her to get over it."
"I didn't do that! Rory and I are best friends. I can be whatever kind of support she needs; all she has to do is ask."
"You're still her mother, Lorelai, and, best friends or not, there are some things you just can't discuss with your parents."
"Rory tells me everything!"
"She's not eight anymore! She does not, and can not, tell you everything!"
"How in the hell would you know?" Lorelai stood sharply, stool clattering to the ground behind her. "You're not a father. You can't even keep an eye on your nephew for a couple of years in a town the size of a postage stamp without screwing it up!"
Luke got very still. "Get. Out."
"No problem!" Lorelai snatched up her purse and stormed out of the diner, wrenching the door open with so much force that the bell above it fell to the floor.
Luke watched her back disappear down the street before stepping around the counter to retrieve the fallen bell. He set it gently on the counter and picked up the stool from the ground, putting it up on the counter for the night. He did the same with the rest of the stools. The repetitive actions gave him enough time to calm down before he stepped around the counter again. Pulling a folded slip of paper from his pocket, he lifted the phone and began dialing.
**********
Jess was on the living room floor, on his back, staring at the ceiling. The lights were off, but he still thought it was too bright. He wanted the room to be as black as his mood. He hadn't heard from Luke again, and he'd fallen into one of the worst depression clichés he could think of: sitting alone in a dark empty house listening to country music.
A sudden chorus of barking from the yard broke through his brooding mood. Rolling his head, Jess watched Jimmy's feet come into view. Heaving a sigh, he returned to his previous position.
Jimmy looked down at the sound of the sigh. "Hey," he greeted, confusion coloring his voice.
"Hey."
"Sash and Lily aren't back yet?"
"Nope. The PTA carnival must really be a 'rollicking good time,'" Jess said sarcastically, quoting the pink flyer Lily had brought home from school a several days earlier.
Jimmy nodded, still confused. "So . . . why are you lying here listening to Willie Nelson?"
Jess reached over and turned down the stereo until 'Blue Eyes Cryin' in the Rain' was barely recognizable. "Because Johnny Cash was making me want to break something."
"'Boy Name Sue?'" Jimmy asked. His tone switched from confused to worried.
"No, you're safe. Though, thanks for not naming me Jessica. It was 'Ring of Fire' and then 'I Walk the Line.'"
"Ah." Jimmy finally understood what was going on. "You know, I've usually gotten good results with Patsy Cline when I'm depressed about a relationship."
"Yeah, but if you knew the girl you'd realize that Willie is clearly the way to go here."
"You want to talk about her?"
"Nope," Jess sighed.
"Okay." Jimmy left the room but appeared back in the doorway a moment later. "Jess, just because, historically, I'm not that good with relationship stuff doesn't mean that you can't talk to me about it. I want to help you if I can."
"Thanks. I'm just not there yet." And if he were, Jess still thought that Sasha would be more likely to give him advice he could actually use.
"I just wanted you to know."
"And now I do." Jess knew that Jimmy wanted him to say more, but there just wasn't anything else left to say right now. He wanted to be alone. Reaching out, he turned the volume on the stereo back up and closed his eyes. Jess heard the sounds of Jimmy shuffling his feet for a minute, and then the phone rang drawing Jimmy away.
Jimmy went to the kitchen to answer the phone. "'lo?" There was silence on the other end of the line. "Hello?"
Finally, a response came after another moment of silence. "Jess around?"
Jimmy felt like he should know the voice but couldn't place it. "Who is this?"
More silence, then, "Luke."
"Luke."
"Yeah. Is Jess there or not, Jimmy?"
"He's here."
Luke growled in frustration. "Can you put him on?"
"Why should I?"
"Jimmy, grow the hell up and give the kid the phone."
"Where do you get off calling him, Luke?" Jimmy asked. "You kicked him out. He's living here now. He's not your responsibility anymore."
"Jimmy, don't get into this. Just let me talk to Jess."
"He's my son, Luke."
"You might be his father, Jimmy, but I'm the one he came to for help."
Jimmy leaned back to peer through the opening between the kitchen and the living room at Jess still lying on the floor. "What do you mean 'help?'"
Luke sighed and wondered if the universe was conspiring against him today, trying to piss him off. "I mean that Jess is trying to work some things out, and he's asked me to help him."
Still looking into the living room, Jimmy watched Jess fiddle with the stereo again and start mouthing the words along with the song. "Is this about a girl?"
"I'm not going to tell you Jess' business unless he asks me to," Luke told the other man.
"Why would he go to you for help when I'm right here?" Jimmy wanted to know. "I mean, I know that, sure, I wasn't there for him when he was growing up, but I at least thought that in the last six months we'd gotten closer. Not father/son close, but friends. Sort of, anyway. I mean, we work together sometimes, and he's living here, and other than a few initial adjustments, we've been getting along all right."
Luke wanted to scream. He couldn't understand how his life got turned upside down because Jess sent Rory a letter. "Jimmy, I don't know what's going on in Jess' head, but maybe, in all the time he's been there, he doesn't feel like you've shown him that you'd be capable of giving him any useful help with this." Of course, Luke still didn't know why Jess sought him for help either. It wasn't like he'd had any wildly successful relationships while Jess was living with him.
"So it is about a girl?" Jimmy asked again.
"Yes, it about a girl," Luke admitted.
Jimmy took a short breath. "Yeah, okay. If I were Jess, maybe I wouldn't come to me with girl trouble either."
"Especially not this girl," Luke muttered.
"How do you know her? I didn't even know he was seeing someone, so how do you know what kind of girl she is?"
"Because she's not out there. She's back here, and I've known her for most of her life." Luke sounded almost wistful to Jimmy. "She's a special girl. She could have really been something for Jess, and he's finally seeing that."
"Did he do something to her? Is that why he suddenly showed up here?"
"I don't think so," Luke said. "I think he left so he wouldn't do something to her. He didn't want to disappoint her."
Jimmy arched a skeptical eyebrow in Jess' direction. "Huh."
Luke grunted in agreement. "Yeah, I wouldn't expect you to understand not wanting to disappoint a girl."
"Was that really needed?"
"Jimmy, I am all out of nice right now, especially for guys who run out on my family. You're lucky I've talked to you for this long. Now put Jess on."
"Fine. Hang on," Jimmy grumbled, and Luke was struck by how much Jimmy and Jess sounded alike. Apparently attitude was genetic.
Going back into the living room, Jimmy stood over Jess' prone form. "Phone's for you," he said, extending the cordless down toward Jess.
Jess looked at the phone with a mixture of hope and trepidation. He didn't know who it was. It could just be a telemarketer or something, but it could also be Rory. Taking the call, he was both relived and disappointed to realize it was Luke.
"Hey," Jess said quietly.
"She's not gonna call you back," Luke told him without preamble.
Jess wasn't surprised. "Didn't think she would," he admitted. "What now?"
"Like I know?"
"Can't you talk to her again or something?" Jess asked. He hated the way he sounded. It was like a little kid begging for a cookie.
"I don't think she'll talk to me about this anymore, Jess. She's pretty upset."
"Great. 3,000 miles away, and I still manage to screw things up."
Luke chuckled, "I always figured you'd turn out to be good at something if you applied yourself."
"Very funny, Luke," Jess bit out and then chucked in spite of himself. He took a deep breath a blew it out between his teeth. "I'm not giving up." The determination in his voice brooked no argument. "I give up on everything, but not this time."
Luke's only response was a grunt.
"You think it's a bad idea," Jess said flatly.
"I think you should do want you want to do, but I don't think I can help you anymore."
"Why's that?"
"If keep helping you, I think Lorelai might hurt me."
"What?"
Luke sighed heavily and again fought the urge to bang his head against something. "Lorelai was in here earlier, and I told her that I gave Rory a way to reach you. She's pissed."
Jess smiled at the mournful tone in his uncle's voice. "If you two would just admit you want each other . . . "
Luke cut him off with a stern, "Shut up. There's never going to be anything between Lorelai and me. I missed my chance." He pause for a moment, chest clenching with that admission. "Don't miss yours," he said quietly.
"I'm trying not to." Jess pushed himself upright and stood. "I'll keep in touch, Luke."
"Okay. Bye, kid."
"Bye." Jess pressed the off button on the phone and wandered into the kitchen to put it back. He stopped up short when Jimmy met him in the doorway with two open beer bottles.
"Here," Jimmy said, presenting Jess with one of the bottles. "You look like you need this."
Jess looked back and forth between the bottle and Jimmy's face a few times before accepting the beer and drinking deeply. "Thanks."
Jimmy nodded. "Just don't tell Sasha."
"No kidding." Jess moved around Jimmy, hung up the phone, and then leaned against the counter, sipping slowly from the bottle. He hadn't actually had a beer in a long time. Thinking back, the last time he remembered even trying to drink one it had been on Rory and Lorelai's back porch. He felt an odd sense of amusement at the fact that the last time he'd even held a beer bottle he'd been contemplating how he could make Rory his, and now he was in almost the same position, wondering how he could get her back. It would have been enough to make him laugh out loud if it hadn't been so depressing.
**********
Author's Notes the Second: Okay, before someone complains that Jess wouldn't listen to country music, depressed or not, I urge you to go out and listen, or at least read the lyrics, to the songs mentioned. I think you'll find that they're amazingly appropriate. And while I had that section of the chapter written before it happened, the recent death of Johnny Cash is even more reason to discover, or re-discover, him as the case may be. He's musical icon no matter which genre you prefer. That said, I'll get off my musical soap box now, and I'll be back soon ::knocks on wood:: with Chapter Six!
In other news, I have been updating around once a week or so, but I've recently started working at a temp agency, and while the paycheck is nice, I have a lot less free time on my hands. Don't worry, I'm still working dillegently on the story, but it may be a little longer for updates. If updates start taking a really long time, and you're concerned about my progress, the best thing to do would be to go to my profile and send me an e-mail. I'd be happy to respond (as long as the e-mail is polite) and let you know how it's going.
Thanks again for reading, and don't forget to review and let me know what you think!
Disclaimer: I own nothing thus far other than the plot. All events through the end of Season 3 have occurred, but I'm trying to stay spoiler free for the upcoming season. Any similarities between what I've written and what will occur in Season 4 are coincidence. Chapter titles are borrowed from various Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers songs. I don't own those either.
**********
Chapter Five: I Won't Say Good-bye My Friend
Luke finished the final wipe-down of the counter and turned to take the rag back to the kitchen. He caught sight of the phone out of the corner of his eye and paused. He'd talked to Rory last night but hadn't yet called Jess back. He wasn't afraid to talk to the boy like Rory seemed to be; he just didn't know what to say. Last night's conversation with Rory could have gone better, and Luke wasn't sure he was helping the situation. It was just so hard to talk to Rory about Jess. Hell, he'd only just gotten comfortable talking to Rory about anything that wasn't directly related to Lorelai, food, or basic home repair. Of course, they had a little more in common now. Jess had hurt both of them, and it had become a point of bonding for them. Rory could sit at the counter, Luke could stand behind it and pour her coffee, and they could each know that the other understood what they were feeling without having to say anything. It had worked well for them, not talking about it. Of course, they couldn't do that anymore. Luke was jolted out of his reverie by the clinking of the bell over the door and a boisterous command from the doorway of the diner.
"Lucas! Java me!" Lorelai cried out, dropping onto a stool near the register. "I've just had the most awful day. I'll never understand contractors. It's like they exist in their own time zone."
Luke, still frustrated and unsure of what he was doing getting involved in Jess and Rory's relationship again, was shorter than he meant to be with Lorelai. "Coffee pot's been cleaned. We're closed."
"When have you ever been closed to me?" Lorelai asked. "Come on! It's me!"
"I've always been closed to you at this hour," Luke sighed. "You just never listen."
"Wow, aren't you Mr. Cranky-pants tonight. Did Bert run away or something?"
"No, Jess did."
Lorelai's eyes widened. "Oh, man. Did he get in contact with you too? Who the hell does that little punk think he is, anyway? He wrote Rory this note, and she . . ."
"I know," Luke interrupted, turning to face Lorelai.
"Wait, what?"
"I know about the letter. Rory told me."
"Why?"
Luke wanted to bang his head against the wall. Life never used to be this complicated. "She wanted to know if I had a phone number for Jess."
Lorelai drew a sharp breath. "And do you?"
"Yeah."
"And did you give it to her?"
"Yes." He cringed waiting for the explosion. He didn't have to wait long.
"How could you, Luke?!" Lorelai screamed. "You know what that boy did to my daughter! And what about what he did to you, to everyone? How could you give him a way to try and weasel back into her life?"
"Because she asked me to!" Luke gripped the edge of the counter tightly. "Do you know how much pain Rory's in, Lorelai? Jess left, and she decided, for whatever reason, to brush it off. The two of you went to Europe, and that took her mind off of it for a while, but you had to come home eventually. Starting Yale helped, but she's still in this town all the time, Lorelai. She still has to see all of the places that she and Jess used to hang out and remember all of the things, good and bad, that they did together."
"Rory is fine," Lorelai insisted. "She's over Jess. She's moved on."
Luke shook his head. "No, she hasn't. Do you know that Rory used to come over here at night before she started school again, when I was closing up, and just sit here. She sat here, drank coffee, and cried because she couldn't cry at home."
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"It means that Rory knows how happy you are that Jess is gone. She knows that you think she should be happy that he took off, that it'll make her life better, that he'd only have held her back somehow."
Lorelai's eyes lit with anger. "I do NOT think that!"
"Maybe not out loud, but in the back of your mind you think exactly that."
"She could still talk to me about him."
"That's just it, Lorelai." Luke leaned forward so he was starting directly into Lorelai's eyes. "She didn't want to talk about it. She just wanted someone to understand that she needed to be upset without trying to make her feel better or telling her to get over it."
"I didn't do that! Rory and I are best friends. I can be whatever kind of support she needs; all she has to do is ask."
"You're still her mother, Lorelai, and, best friends or not, there are some things you just can't discuss with your parents."
"Rory tells me everything!"
"She's not eight anymore! She does not, and can not, tell you everything!"
"How in the hell would you know?" Lorelai stood sharply, stool clattering to the ground behind her. "You're not a father. You can't even keep an eye on your nephew for a couple of years in a town the size of a postage stamp without screwing it up!"
Luke got very still. "Get. Out."
"No problem!" Lorelai snatched up her purse and stormed out of the diner, wrenching the door open with so much force that the bell above it fell to the floor.
Luke watched her back disappear down the street before stepping around the counter to retrieve the fallen bell. He set it gently on the counter and picked up the stool from the ground, putting it up on the counter for the night. He did the same with the rest of the stools. The repetitive actions gave him enough time to calm down before he stepped around the counter again. Pulling a folded slip of paper from his pocket, he lifted the phone and began dialing.
**********
Jess was on the living room floor, on his back, staring at the ceiling. The lights were off, but he still thought it was too bright. He wanted the room to be as black as his mood. He hadn't heard from Luke again, and he'd fallen into one of the worst depression clichés he could think of: sitting alone in a dark empty house listening to country music.
A sudden chorus of barking from the yard broke through his brooding mood. Rolling his head, Jess watched Jimmy's feet come into view. Heaving a sigh, he returned to his previous position.
Jimmy looked down at the sound of the sigh. "Hey," he greeted, confusion coloring his voice.
"Hey."
"Sash and Lily aren't back yet?"
"Nope. The PTA carnival must really be a 'rollicking good time,'" Jess said sarcastically, quoting the pink flyer Lily had brought home from school a several days earlier.
Jimmy nodded, still confused. "So . . . why are you lying here listening to Willie Nelson?"
Jess reached over and turned down the stereo until 'Blue Eyes Cryin' in the Rain' was barely recognizable. "Because Johnny Cash was making me want to break something."
"'Boy Name Sue?'" Jimmy asked. His tone switched from confused to worried.
"No, you're safe. Though, thanks for not naming me Jessica. It was 'Ring of Fire' and then 'I Walk the Line.'"
"Ah." Jimmy finally understood what was going on. "You know, I've usually gotten good results with Patsy Cline when I'm depressed about a relationship."
"Yeah, but if you knew the girl you'd realize that Willie is clearly the way to go here."
"You want to talk about her?"
"Nope," Jess sighed.
"Okay." Jimmy left the room but appeared back in the doorway a moment later. "Jess, just because, historically, I'm not that good with relationship stuff doesn't mean that you can't talk to me about it. I want to help you if I can."
"Thanks. I'm just not there yet." And if he were, Jess still thought that Sasha would be more likely to give him advice he could actually use.
"I just wanted you to know."
"And now I do." Jess knew that Jimmy wanted him to say more, but there just wasn't anything else left to say right now. He wanted to be alone. Reaching out, he turned the volume on the stereo back up and closed his eyes. Jess heard the sounds of Jimmy shuffling his feet for a minute, and then the phone rang drawing Jimmy away.
Jimmy went to the kitchen to answer the phone. "'lo?" There was silence on the other end of the line. "Hello?"
Finally, a response came after another moment of silence. "Jess around?"
Jimmy felt like he should know the voice but couldn't place it. "Who is this?"
More silence, then, "Luke."
"Luke."
"Yeah. Is Jess there or not, Jimmy?"
"He's here."
Luke growled in frustration. "Can you put him on?"
"Why should I?"
"Jimmy, grow the hell up and give the kid the phone."
"Where do you get off calling him, Luke?" Jimmy asked. "You kicked him out. He's living here now. He's not your responsibility anymore."
"Jimmy, don't get into this. Just let me talk to Jess."
"He's my son, Luke."
"You might be his father, Jimmy, but I'm the one he came to for help."
Jimmy leaned back to peer through the opening between the kitchen and the living room at Jess still lying on the floor. "What do you mean 'help?'"
Luke sighed and wondered if the universe was conspiring against him today, trying to piss him off. "I mean that Jess is trying to work some things out, and he's asked me to help him."
Still looking into the living room, Jimmy watched Jess fiddle with the stereo again and start mouthing the words along with the song. "Is this about a girl?"
"I'm not going to tell you Jess' business unless he asks me to," Luke told the other man.
"Why would he go to you for help when I'm right here?" Jimmy wanted to know. "I mean, I know that, sure, I wasn't there for him when he was growing up, but I at least thought that in the last six months we'd gotten closer. Not father/son close, but friends. Sort of, anyway. I mean, we work together sometimes, and he's living here, and other than a few initial adjustments, we've been getting along all right."
Luke wanted to scream. He couldn't understand how his life got turned upside down because Jess sent Rory a letter. "Jimmy, I don't know what's going on in Jess' head, but maybe, in all the time he's been there, he doesn't feel like you've shown him that you'd be capable of giving him any useful help with this." Of course, Luke still didn't know why Jess sought him for help either. It wasn't like he'd had any wildly successful relationships while Jess was living with him.
"So it is about a girl?" Jimmy asked again.
"Yes, it about a girl," Luke admitted.
Jimmy took a short breath. "Yeah, okay. If I were Jess, maybe I wouldn't come to me with girl trouble either."
"Especially not this girl," Luke muttered.
"How do you know her? I didn't even know he was seeing someone, so how do you know what kind of girl she is?"
"Because she's not out there. She's back here, and I've known her for most of her life." Luke sounded almost wistful to Jimmy. "She's a special girl. She could have really been something for Jess, and he's finally seeing that."
"Did he do something to her? Is that why he suddenly showed up here?"
"I don't think so," Luke said. "I think he left so he wouldn't do something to her. He didn't want to disappoint her."
Jimmy arched a skeptical eyebrow in Jess' direction. "Huh."
Luke grunted in agreement. "Yeah, I wouldn't expect you to understand not wanting to disappoint a girl."
"Was that really needed?"
"Jimmy, I am all out of nice right now, especially for guys who run out on my family. You're lucky I've talked to you for this long. Now put Jess on."
"Fine. Hang on," Jimmy grumbled, and Luke was struck by how much Jimmy and Jess sounded alike. Apparently attitude was genetic.
Going back into the living room, Jimmy stood over Jess' prone form. "Phone's for you," he said, extending the cordless down toward Jess.
Jess looked at the phone with a mixture of hope and trepidation. He didn't know who it was. It could just be a telemarketer or something, but it could also be Rory. Taking the call, he was both relived and disappointed to realize it was Luke.
"Hey," Jess said quietly.
"She's not gonna call you back," Luke told him without preamble.
Jess wasn't surprised. "Didn't think she would," he admitted. "What now?"
"Like I know?"
"Can't you talk to her again or something?" Jess asked. He hated the way he sounded. It was like a little kid begging for a cookie.
"I don't think she'll talk to me about this anymore, Jess. She's pretty upset."
"Great. 3,000 miles away, and I still manage to screw things up."
Luke chuckled, "I always figured you'd turn out to be good at something if you applied yourself."
"Very funny, Luke," Jess bit out and then chucked in spite of himself. He took a deep breath a blew it out between his teeth. "I'm not giving up." The determination in his voice brooked no argument. "I give up on everything, but not this time."
Luke's only response was a grunt.
"You think it's a bad idea," Jess said flatly.
"I think you should do want you want to do, but I don't think I can help you anymore."
"Why's that?"
"If keep helping you, I think Lorelai might hurt me."
"What?"
Luke sighed heavily and again fought the urge to bang his head against something. "Lorelai was in here earlier, and I told her that I gave Rory a way to reach you. She's pissed."
Jess smiled at the mournful tone in his uncle's voice. "If you two would just admit you want each other . . . "
Luke cut him off with a stern, "Shut up. There's never going to be anything between Lorelai and me. I missed my chance." He pause for a moment, chest clenching with that admission. "Don't miss yours," he said quietly.
"I'm trying not to." Jess pushed himself upright and stood. "I'll keep in touch, Luke."
"Okay. Bye, kid."
"Bye." Jess pressed the off button on the phone and wandered into the kitchen to put it back. He stopped up short when Jimmy met him in the doorway with two open beer bottles.
"Here," Jimmy said, presenting Jess with one of the bottles. "You look like you need this."
Jess looked back and forth between the bottle and Jimmy's face a few times before accepting the beer and drinking deeply. "Thanks."
Jimmy nodded. "Just don't tell Sasha."
"No kidding." Jess moved around Jimmy, hung up the phone, and then leaned against the counter, sipping slowly from the bottle. He hadn't actually had a beer in a long time. Thinking back, the last time he remembered even trying to drink one it had been on Rory and Lorelai's back porch. He felt an odd sense of amusement at the fact that the last time he'd even held a beer bottle he'd been contemplating how he could make Rory his, and now he was in almost the same position, wondering how he could get her back. It would have been enough to make him laugh out loud if it hadn't been so depressing.
**********
Author's Notes the Second: Okay, before someone complains that Jess wouldn't listen to country music, depressed or not, I urge you to go out and listen, or at least read the lyrics, to the songs mentioned. I think you'll find that they're amazingly appropriate. And while I had that section of the chapter written before it happened, the recent death of Johnny Cash is even more reason to discover, or re-discover, him as the case may be. He's musical icon no matter which genre you prefer. That said, I'll get off my musical soap box now, and I'll be back soon ::knocks on wood:: with Chapter Six!