Ok, yeah, an Oversoul fanfic. For those of you not "in the know" Oversoul is the Shaman King band for we fanatics. Ren is the singer; Faust plays bass, Horohoro on drums, and Yoh's on guitar. After all the fame, Ren and Horohoro's relationship suffers. This is what happens when ego's flare and love takes a back seat in fame. Horohoro is the uke in this one (a.k.a. he's on the bottom). Includes boy on boy, strong language, alcohol references, and all that other good stuff! Enjoy!

The Ghost of Your Memory

Part I: Tao Ren

Stardust, well it's a funny thing

The door slammed and footsteps echoed as they rapidly pounded down the hall, along with sobs. Soon, another, heavier door slammed and nothing else was heard except for the crack of the building settling.

I won, he thought, turning from the bedroom door and sitting down at his desk, where he had been writing more lyrics before his…"distraction" had shown up. Once again, I won. And now he's gone. The smirk on his face and the cruel laughter in his gold eyes remained. Another argument and another person gone, that's all he was after all, just a person. A person and a skim, that is.

Tao Ren continued writing but soon noticed the silence from the house. No one was starting a food fight, no one was rushing in and bothering him, no one was telling a stupid joke, and no one was laughing it up with Yoh.

"Finally, some serenity here." The Chinese boy said, to break the silence. "It's good he's gone," he commented with a reassuring smile. He didn't really notice then that he was reassuring himself.

Soon Ren put his lyrics aside and just wrote absently on a blank sheet of paper, not even noticing what he was doing.

He's gone, thank God. No more interruptions, no more stupid arguments, and it's peaceful. Now I can work on new songs and won't have anyone bothering me with 'morals'.

The singer closed his eyes as he smiled cruelly. He remembered each fan-boy he had screwed. The girls just weren't important enough and way too numerous to remember. They were more than willing to and he was just giving the fans what they wanted, it wasn't something to freak out about, like the drummer had. It was just a matter of giving them what they wanted. After all, Ren was a sex symbol and people expected things like this from him. His looks were perfect and while he sang out the lyrics with sweat making his tan skin glisten, everyone wanted a piece of him. And only the lucky ones got it. It was purely supply and demand. Because he was jealous; he always wanted me all for himself… the selfish prick.

That was what this argument was about. Ren had been accused of "playing with a heart," and indeed, Ren said it was accurate and if he didn't like it, the door was behind him… but he said he wasn't coming back…

"Who cares?" he spat out at himself. "Another aggravation gone." There was something false in Ren's velvety voice.

To avert his mind from his former distraction, Ren slid one of their CD's into his stereo. Soon music filled the air as he lay down on his bed and stared at the unmoving ceiling. Since it was stuck on shuffle mode, Adulterer was the first song. For once, Ren listened to the lyrics that the former drummer of Oversoul wrote… They had never registered in his brain before now, let alone the meaning behind those words. They were all about himself.

He quickly took his remote and turned off the CD. Yeah, he's gone… so what do I care? He wasn't that cool anyways, he only had about three fans anyways. But no matter what Ren though, the face of his former band mate remained… that last look… full of pain and hurt… those tears… but who cares? He's gone.

"I belong to no one," he said. Ren was no longer smiling. Things that they both had said during that fight were echoing in his head. He glanced at the door, but saw no eager and hyper face. He listened but no quiet humming or soft laughter reached his ears. His bed didn't have another body hiding under the covers, waiting to be there for him. It was empty…

"Why does he do this to me? I never really loved him anyways! It was a stunt!" The Chinese boy was yelling now at the ceiling. He sat up from his bed and stood, mad at himself and how he was reacting. There was no way he could have feelings for someone, it's just not possible and utterly ridiculous.

Once again, Ren's eyes strayed to the door. On the ground were teardrops. He wasn't really crying, was he? And why would he? Crying is for people who are too weak to deal with it and no one would cry for me, especially him. He turned his head and saw a picture on his nightstand. It was Oversoul; on the day they got their record deal. Faust was holding the contract, signed by the band and record company, and he was smiling, for once. Yoh was smiling like a druggy (as always), and Ren was holding Horohoro's hand tightly… and Horohoro had his other arm around Ren's neck, barely able to contain his excitement. After the picture had been taken, Ren had kissed Horohoro and they continued sliming together all day.

Ren slammed the picture down and sat back down on the bed. What was it the ex-drummer said when he was crying, before Ren had laughed in his face? Ren could hear it echo in his head… "You used to love me, Ren! Before all this fame and the fans, you loved me. And I would trade my fame for that back!"

"Then you're a fool."

"I loved you Ren… even now I still love you…"

"Feelings get in the way: you're weak."

What have I become…? Before the band was famous, it was different, wasn't it? He wasn't so full of himself, and he even cared about things other than himself. Ren actually enjoyed things.

The golden-eyed boy got to his feet and rushed to put on his shoes. I've lost things before but I'm not losing him. He grabbed his coat and house keys as he ran out of his room, down the hall, over the stairs, and through the front door. Ren was going after Horohoro.