Friendly warning: I wrote this entire chapter at Eclipse's house. We have practically the whole story planned out. It will be very strange and scary, and if this damn baby spider doesn't get off this computer screen right now I'm gonna kill it. Stupid insect. My wrath of doom shall damage its tiny brain. Muwaha!
CHAPTER ONE
Bull Shitake Mushroom Sandwiches!
"I'mmm sooooo bored..." Shadow whined.
"Aren't we all?" Eclipse asked, kicking a rock. Kurama glared.
"You guys need to get out and discover the world. There's more interesting stuff on Earth than video games."
"This isn't the world, this is Japan. And besides, I think video games are much more interesting than old shrines," Shadow said, sticking out her tongue. Kurama groaned.
"Well you would, Shadow, because you're not religious and you don't care about history."
Hiei, Yusuke, and Kuwabara had been dragged along on Kurama's educational trip because Shadow had threatened them with their lives if they didn't. They were just as bored, if not more, by all the rambling historical people who'd been giving them information at each stop.
"That's exactly it. So why'd you pick this topic of all of them to try to educate me on?"
"Because it's interesting!" Kurama snapped. Shadow cowered away.
"Yessir."
"I don't think it is," Eclipse said bitterly. "I could be vegetating right now!"
"Fresh air does you good," Kurama said.
"You call this air fresh? You don't know the meaning of 'fresh air,'" Shadow said.
"I don't know your meaning. Anyway, we're coming up on Higurashi Shrine. That's the last one, so stop your complaining," Kurama said.
Shadow looked up ahead. "More stairs!!! I swear, if I ever have to go up stairs again in my life, I'll kill myself."
"Shadow... You have to go up stairs to get to your room," Hiei pointed out.
"Shut up!"
Finally, about twenty years later, when they finally got up all the stairs (Shadow and Eclipse complaining all the way), an old man came running up to them.
"Ah, you're the sightseers who called, aren't you!" he said. Kurama nodded, smiling kindly.
"Yes."
Shadow and Eclipse, meanwhile, were standing off to one side, their heads lolling on their shoulders, drooling all over the place, their eyes rolled back in their heads.
"Ellllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll..." they groaned. Yusuke hit them both.
"Stupids! At least act interested! You're gonna tick off the old geezer!" he hissed.
"Do we care?" Eclipse asked.
"Really!" Shadow added.
"Right this way," the old man was saying. Kurama grabbed Shadow and Eclipse by the backs of their necks and followed the man. He led them to a small building. Inside, they discovered some stairs. Just a few, leading down to a well.
"STAIRS! AHHHHH!" Shadow howled.
"Stairs leading down," Yusuke pointed out.
"I ain't goin' down 'em. cuz then i'll have to come back up 'em, and I ain't gonna do that," Shadow said, crossing her arms. The old man was talking about some legend attached to the well.
"According to legend, this well is a portal to a whole different world, full of demons and monsters!"
"Demons?!" Kuwabara said, startled.
"Really?!" Eclipse and Shadow said in unison, blocking out Kuwabara. They both instantly jumped the stairs and looked into the well.
"It doesn't look like nothing special..." Shadow said. Eclipse nodded, then snickered. She grabbed Shadow's shoulders and pushed her forward, keeping a hold on her at all times, then jerked her back and let go.
"Saved your life!" she said, smirking. Shadow lost her balance and went headfirst into the well, snagging Eclipse's wrist and pulling her in as well. The guys all crowded around and stared down it.
"Or not," Hiei said in response to Eclipse's 'saved your life.'
"They're gone..." Yusuke said.
"WELL DON'T JUST STAND THERE!" Kuwabara said. "We've got to save the weak girls!"
Hiei laughed. "They're not weak." However, Kuwabara had already swung his legs over and dropped into the well.
"Well then... Sorry about all this, old man," Yusuke said to the old guy, jumping into the well after Kuwabara. Kurama and Hiei shrugged and followed.
Meanwhile, on the other side of the well, Shadow and Eclipse were sitting there staring at each other.
"Where are we?" Shadow asked.
"Apparently we're at the bottom of the well," Eclipse said.
"HEY STUPIDS! CAN YOU HEAR ME?" Shadow hollered up. Then she stared for a minute. "Why's there blue sky up there? There was a roof over the... Oooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Crap."
She didn't have a chance to explain her 'oh crap' as Yusuke and Kuwabara both fell on top of them, followed shortly by Hiei and Kurama.
"Where are they?" Kuwabara asked, standing up and dumping Hiei off him.
"I think we're on top of them," Kurama said. They all instantly jumped up and found two flattened girls on the ground under them.
"Oops," Hiei said dryly.
"YEAH YOU BETTER OOPS!" Shadow screamed, jumping up and punching him.
"Oww..."
"Why did you two idiots have to jump through the well?" Kurama snapped. "That was the crowning stupid acheivement of your lives!"
"I didn't jump!" Shadow said. "She pushed me!"
"I did not!" Eclipse retorted.
"Bull Shitake Mushroom Sandwiches!" Shadow snapped, slapping Eclipse in the head.
"You hit me!"
"I did not," Shadow mocked.
"Bull!"
"Where?"
"You're stupid!"
"KIDS! Could we concentrate on getting out of this at the moment?" Kurama asked. Shadow and Eclipse smiled innocently, clasping their hands behind their backs.
"Yes sir!" they said simultaneously.
"Now..."
"We could just jump," Hiei said.
"You could! But what about these two weak and helpless girls?" Kuwabara said.
That's a big oops.
"WEAK AND HELPLESS, ARE WE?!" the girls screamed. Half a minute later, a severely mauled Kuwabara was being stood on by the two girls.
"Now, how should we go about getting out of here?" Shadow asked, acting like she and Eclipse hadn't just nearly killed Kuwabara.
"Well... What about a human ladder? We would all stand on each others' shoulders, and..." Yusuke said. Hiei looked at the odd assortment of sizes and shapes and strengths of people crushed into the small bottom of the well.
"I don't think that'll work..."
They were oblivious they were being watched.
"Well, other than jumping, how else could we get out?!" Yusuke snapped. "You think of a better idea!"
"Well... We could brace ourselves against one wall and walk up it... Y'know, like..." Shadow attemped to show them what she meant and promptly fell back down, knocking over Eclipse onto Kuwabara and sitting there on her back. Kurama groaned.
"Or you could just use the vine," somebody said. They all snapped around to look up and see four faces peering down at them from the top of the well. Kurama noticed a vine hanging next to his shoulder.
"That would work," he said, feeling stupid. "Shadow, Eclipse, you two can go first..."
"What, so you can stare at our butts as we go up? I don't think so," Shadow snapped. "You first, Fox."
"Shadow, I'm not going to--"
"Forget it," Hiei said, wrapping his arm around Shadow's waist and jumping out of the well. The four people at the top stared at him as he set Shadow down and turned to them.
It was an odd assortment of people: Two girls, one in a modern schoolgirl outfit and the other wearing a dress/kimono, and two guys, one in blue monk's robes and the second wearing all red, two dog ears poking out of his long white hair. One closer inspection, there was a fifth member of the group, a small child fox demon sitting on the schoolgirl's shoulder. A small two-tailed cat sat at the other girl's feet.
Kurama jumped out of the well carrying Eclipse, and a moment later Yusuke climbed up with Kuwabara draped over his shoulder.
"...Why didn't we think of that in the first place?" Shadow asked, making them all feel a whole lot stupider. They chose to ignore her.
"What happened to him?" the monk asked, pointing to Kuwabara. Shadow and Eclipse grinned widely.
"We pummeled him!" they said cheerfully. The monk sweatdropped, making a mental note to figure out why exactly they'd done that later.
"Who the hell are you people?" the dog-demon asked.
"Well who the hell are you?" Shadow asked, hands on her hips. The demon looked slightly startled.
Kurama stepped forward. "Pardon our rudeness. I'm Kurama. My companions and I seem to have... well... accidentally ended up here."
"How do six people accidentally end up jumping into a well-portal to the fuedal era...?" the monk asked. Kurama chuckled nervously.
"It's a long story."
"She pushed me," Shadow muttered, still defending herself even though nobody was accusing anything.
"I did not," Eclipse retorted under her breath.
"Bull crap!" Shadow snapped quietly. They were oblivious that everyone was watching them.
"I didn't!"
"YOU PUSHED ME AND YOU KNOW IT!"
"Umm... Shadow?" Yusuke said, pointing. She suddenly became aware they were all staring.
"Oh. Oops."
"How did you get through the well? Ordinary humans can't do that," the schoolgirl asked.
"They're obviously dangerous, then," the dog-demon snapped, stepping in front of the group. "Who are you?"
"We don't want to hurt anyone..." Kurama said. He opened his mouth to say something else when a huge creature came barreling out of the forest at the group. Everybody lunged away as it slashed at the white-haired demon.
"Ahhhhhhhhhh!" Shadow screeched. "Evil! It's evil and evil and even eviler than that!" She ran off into the forest waving her arms like a lunatic. Hiei cursed and darted after her. Kurama was momentarily distracted by this and barely managed to dodge the creature's attack. Everybody was scattered all over the small clearing, except Shadow, Hiei, and Eclipse, who'd apparently followed Shadow into the forest. Yusuke had dragged Kuwabara into the edge of the forest, because he was still rather incapacitated by Shadow and Eclipse's beating.
The dog-demon drew a huge sword and slashed at the creature, putting a deep gash in its stomach and causing it to howl in pain. Kurama watched as the girl in the kimono flung a giant boomerang at it and cut off one arm on the throw and the second on its return. She slid back several feet when she caught the weapon.
The creature, howling in pain, fell over and the dog-demon finished it off by beheading it. The end. Well, it was certainly the end for the demon creature, but there's plenty more of this story left, so sit down and shut up.
"Umm... I seem to have lost half my group," Kurama muttered, looking around. He started into the forest.
"Hey, wait!" The girl in the green and white school uniform came running after him. He stopped and turned.
"Yes?"
"I still want to know how you got through the well. And how did you end up at Higurashi Shrine in the first place? I don't know any of you... And I know you don't know my family..."
Kurama stared cluelessly. "It really is a long story."
"I've got time."
"I don't. Well, I do, I just have to find my friends first..."
"Kagome!" The white-haired demon came stalking up to her. "It's none of our concern."
"Yes it is!"
He groaned. Kurama laughed nervously. "Sorry to trouble you."
"You're a demon!" the white-haired man said. He drew his sword. "What were you doing at Kagome's house?"
Kurama put his hands up in front of his chest. "I'm harmless! Really! Put away your sword, I'll explain!"
"InuYasha, I sense no evil about him," the monk said.
Well, I've got two of their names so far... Kurama thought. He cast a glance over his shoulder into the forest. Where's Shadow?
"Fine! Explain!" InuYasha snapped. Kurama stared into the forest behind him a minute more before turning back to the group.
"Well--"
"KURAMAAAAAAAA! HIEI WANTS TO KILL ME!" Shadow came flying out of the forest beside him and slammed into him, wrapping her arms around him and knocking him off balance so he stumbled into a tree. She hid her face against his chest as Hiei came stalking up behind her.
"That girl..." he snarled, "is going to die."
"NOOOOOOOO!" Shadow howled, hugging Kurama tighter until he gagged for breath.
"Let go..." he choked.
"He's gonna kill me!!!"
"No he's not, now would you get off me?!" Kurama growled, trying to pry her off.
"He's gonna kill me, yes he is, he wants to kill me!"
"What did you do to her?!" Kurama snapped at Hiei.
"I threatened to kill her."
"Oh. Well that explains it!" Kurama snarled.
The monk stepped forward, patting Shadow on the shoulder.
"Please, young lady, calm down. Nobody here is going to hurt you," he said. Shadow stared at him for a second, then lunged at him and hugged him (big mistake).
"Monk!"
Suddenly InuYasha and the rest of his group looked rather... worried.
"Uh-oh," the little shoulder-fox said.
"Hey... Where's Eclipse?" Kurama asked. Yusuke, meanwhile, had gotten Kuwabara to wake up and they were walking towards the group.
"Eclipse? I dunno. I thought she was with you," Hiei said.
"Yusuke, have you seen Eclipse?"
"Who? Oh! Uh, no, I haven't, not since she ran into the forest..."
"Well... That's peachy."
"It doesn't matter!" InuYasha snapped. "Tell me why you're here! You're demons, all of you!"
"But they aren't evil!" the monk added cheerfully, his arm around Shadow.
"Shut up, Miroku!" InuYasha snapped. "And let that poor girl go."
"I didn't do anything!" he said, holding his hands up. Hiei took the opportunity to grab Shadow by the back of her shirt and jerk her away from Miroku. She fell over and stared up at him, completely motionless.
"You killed her," Kurama said flatly.
"Good," Kuwabara said. Shadow's eyes flicked over and narrowed.
"You say something, dipshit?"
"What'd you call me?"
"Dipshit."
"Shut up, you're dead," Hiei snapped, jabbing her in the ribs with his boot.
"Ow!" Shadow yelped, latching onto his leg.
"Shouldn't we be looking for Eclipse?" Yusuke asked.
"No! You should be explaining to us what you're doing here and how you demons got into Higurashi Shrine!" InuYasha snapped.
"I'm gonna go look for Eclipse," Shadow said, jumping up and walking into the forest. "See ya, suckers!"
InuYasha snarled as Shadow's friends followed after her.
"Come on, InuYasha! We can't just let them wander around alone," Miroku said.
"I think you probably have other motivation behind that," the little fox said.
"Let's go," InuYasha snapped. "I still want to know who they are."
And so, they set out on a quest to find Eclipse.
And they found her, ten minutes later, wading waist-deep in muddy water.
"Hey Eclipse!" Shadow hollered from the shore of the pond. The girl ignored her.
"Froggy... Froggy... Froggy..." Eclipse was muttering.
"Oh God. She's found a frog," Kurama said.
"InuYasha! I sense a shard of the Shikon Jewel!" Kagome said suddenly, grabbing his arm.
"Where at?!"
"The what?" Yusuke asked at the same time.
"It's right there..." Kagome said, pointing towards Eclipse.
"The what?" Yusuke repeated. InuYasha started towards Eclipse.
"Okay, girl, hand over the Shikon shard!"
"Froggy?" Eclipse asked, looking at InuYasha. Then she snapped her attention back to the water, where the frog was jumping towards shore. She lunged after it. "FROGGY!"
The frog, unusually fast for a frog, came flying out of the water and hopped between everyone's feet and into the forest. Eclipse shot after it, plowing over InuYasha in the process and covering him with muddy bootprints.
"Eclipse!" Shadow yelled, chasing after her. InuYasha swore loudly several times before chasing after her.
"GIMME THAT SHIKON SHARD!" he screamed.
"InuYasha, it's not her that has the shard! It's the frog!" Kagome said.
"The frog?"
"It must have swallowed it," Miroku said, running with the group.
"No duh!" Shadow said.
They found themselves in a clearing.
"Uhhhh... Where is she?" Shadow asked.
"We lost her," Miroku said.
"No, ya think?"
Just then, Eclipse came shooting into the opposite side of the clearing with her arms outstretched, the frog hopping speedily in front of her. The frog jumped over Shadow's foot and went towards InuYasha. He impaled it with the Tetsusaiga. Eclipse let out a wail and stopped so fast she tripped over Shadow and crashed into Miroku, knocking him over and ending up lying on top of him with her head on his stomach. He lay there, spread-eagled and staring up at the sky.
"Well, Miroku's not having any problems with these girls," the second girl said.
"Problems? That's just because he hasn't made them mad yet," Kagome replied. She bent down and picked up the Shikon shard from the mauled corpse of the frog.
"Nooo! You killed the froggy!" Eclipse bawled. "You frog murderers!"
"Oh, not this again," Shadow groaned. "Let me guess, you're gonna--"
"I MUST LIBERATE THE FROGS!" Eclipse said, jumping up. She pulled Miroku to his feet. "Will you help me liberate the frogs?"
"Ummm..."
"Just ignore her," Shadow said, dragging Eclipse away from Miroku. She got close to him and whispered behind her hand, "She's just a little insane... Not quite right in the head, y'know?"
"Ah..." Miroku said.
"YOU DARE INSULT ME?" Eclipse screamed, kicking Shadow. She stumbled and slammed into Miroku (boy, he's sure getting a lot of attention... They don't know how he is yet...), then spun around and glared at Eclipse.
"YES, I DARE! YOU DARE TO DARE ME TO NOT INSULT YOU?"
"UMMM... WHATEVER YOU SAID!"
"I ACCEPT YOUR CHALLENGE, WEAK MORTAL! MUWAHA! En Guard!" She put up her fists in a boxer stance. Eclipse copied her. They then started a mock fight, not touching each other even once but faking their injuries very well.
"Are you sure they aren't both totally insane?" the other girl, whose name has not been said yet, said.
"What's your name again?" Hiei asked.
"Sango," she said.
"Well, Sango, let me tell you. I've known Shadow for over two years now, and she's most definitely got something wrong with her. Quite insane, yes. But she can be normal. If need be... Which need be not very often..." Hiei said. "And Eclipse, I'm still not sure about her... But they're best friends. You may not be able to tell, but they are."
"Oh..." Sango said.
"Soo... Are they ever gonna stop?" the little fox asked.
"Once their fake injuries accumulate to something that would knock them out, they will, but that could be a while," Kurama said.
"Watch this," Hiei said. He made a gun with his fingers and 'shot' at Eclipse. "Bang."
"AHHHH!" she wailed, holding her 'injury.' "He shot me!"
"I win!" Shadow said, jumping up and down with her fist in the air. Hiei aimed his 'gun' at her head.
"Oh yeah?"
"DON'T SHOOT!" she wailed, putting her hands in front of her like a sheild and cringing away.
"Bang," Hiei said, 'shooting' her.
"OH, MY STOMACH!" Shadow cried, grasping her stomach. She fell to her knees. "Oh my God! I'm going to die! Gaaaaaaack! Cough! Cough! Hack!" She made a variety of strangled noises, clawing at her throat like she was being strangled, then fell forward onto her hands and knees, faking that she was spitting up blood, then dropped to her side with an 'oof!' and lay there wailing and twitching. Then she jumped up (obviously she's never died before...) and grabbed Miroku's shoulders, shaking him back and forth.
"I'M DYING! DON'T YOU CARE?" She shook him a bit more before letting go and spinning in a full circle, then collapsing and laying there gagging and strangling some more, twitching and rolling around. Miroku stood there with swirly eyes from being shaken, swaying.
"What's her problem?" InuYasha asked, leaning over to Yusuke.
"Don't even ask unless you have about two years to spare for me to list them all..."
"... Never mind then," InuYasha said quickly.
"...And I'll be dead! And dead! And deader than THAT, even!!!" Shadow was saying.
"JUST DIE ALREADY!" Hiei said, 'shooting' her about four more times.
"Gack!" Shadow said, going limp.
"Finally..." Hiei muttered. Everybody was staring at her. Eclipse had long since 'died' and was lying there rotting.
"Umm..." Kagome said.
"You just have to ignore them," Hiei said. "Honestly. They're nuts."
"I'd noticed," Miroku muttered.
"So!" Kurama said, clapping his hands together to attempt to bring attention to something else and help them forget what they'd just seen. "We never got official introductions!"
"Oh... Sorry!" Kagome said, shaking her head to try to forget Shadow's insanity. "I'm Kagome. This is Shippou, InuYasha, Miroku, Sango, and Kirara. Nice to meet you."
"Speak for yourself," InuYasha muttered, pouting. Hiei snorted. Kurama attempted to ignore his comment and introduced everybody but Shadow and Eclipse, because they'd gotten enough attention already.
"So you never got around to explaining how and why you're here," InuYasha said. Kurama sighed.
"Well..." And he told the long, boring, strange story of how they ended up in a well in fuedal Japan. Then he told them that they were indeed demons and talked about Makai for a while. He talked a lot about a lot of stuff that had stuff to do with stuff and at the same time was totally inconsequential to anything that may ever effect anyone's life. InuYasha and the others had said absolutely nothing about themselves or what the Shikon jewel was or anything of that sort.
"Soo... What kind of demons are you?" Sango asked.
"Oh. I'm a spirit fox, Hiei's a fire demon. Yusuke's half demon... Kuwabara's human, but he has strong spiritual powers. And those two.." Kurama pointed his thumb over his shoulder.
"Which two?" InuYasha asked.
"What?" Kurama turned and looked. Shadow and Eclipse were no longer lying 'dead' in the grass. "Where'd they go?!"
"Who cares," Hiei said, stretching. He flopped back in the grass. "It's getting dark. If they aren't smart enough to come back to our protection when it gets dark and there's psycho demon creatures all around, they deserve to get mauled..."
"You know you don't mean that, Hiei," Kurama said.
"Wanna bet?" Hiei said dryly, rolling onto his side and curling up with his eyes closed. "I'm goin' to sleep. You can go look for them if you feel the need, but I see no reason."
Kurama sighed and turned back to InuYasha.
"So what's this Shikon Jewel?"
Clearly he didn't feel any pressing need to go find those two dipsticks either...