Author's Note: How's that for a quick update? Inspiration struck, mostly
because I'm just as eager for the rest of the story as you all are. Not as
much Luke as I originally planned because the first half of this chapter
turned out to be longer than I thought it would, and I've made the decision
to divide it into two chapters. So, without anymore waiting, here's
Chapter Nine.
Disclaimer: I own nothing thus far other than the plot. All events through the end of Season 3 have occurred, but I'm trying to stay spoiler free for the upcoming season. Any similarities between what I've written and what will occur in Season 4 are coincidence. Chapter titles are borrowed from various Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers songs. I don't own those either.
**********
Chapter Nine: All Or Nothing
June 2004
Jess made change for what seemed like the nine-hundredth person that day, and it wasn't even two o'clock. He thought the tourists that came through Connecticut to see the leaves were bad. They were nothing compared to the summer tourists on the boardwalk. He'd never seen so many pale people in awe of a body of water before. He'd made a mental note after the first real day of the season to never visit the Midwest. If the people he was seeing were any indication, he'd become hopelessly bored there inside of twenty minutes, and then he wouldn't be responsible for his actions. Glancing at the clock, he was grateful to find that it was almost time for his break. Not only was making change tedious, but the sight of another hot-dog was going to make him scream.
A touch on his shoulder made him jump. Jimmy was standing behind him with an expectant look on his face. "Take your break and come outside," Jimmy said. "I want to talk to you about something."
Jess untied his apron, tossed it at Lee, and followed Jimmy to one of the tables scattered outside. He sank into a chair across from the older man and drummed his fingers on the table, waiting for Jimmy to say something.
Jimmy took a deep breath and started speaking, but he looked everywhere except at Jess. "I know that you didn't come out here for anything other than to try and get to know me, and I think we've been doing pretty well at that. I also know that you don't want me giving you things out of some sense of obligation that you think I might feel for taking off on you and your mom."
"Is there going to be a point to this, or are we just going over all the things you know?" Jess asked impatiently.
"Apparently you didn't inherit my nervous rambling," Jimmy said wryly.
"No, thank God. I'd drive myself crazy." Jess continued drumming on the table. "So?" he prompted Jimmy to continue.
"Right. If I offered to do something for you, would you consider it for awhile before refusing?"
Jess' fingers stilled and his eyebrows arched skeptically. "That would depend on what you're offering, I guess."
Jimmy cleared his throat. "Your friend in Connecticut . . . Rory . . ."
"What about her?" Jess became defensive almost without thinking about it.
"Do you, or maybe she'd . . . I like to, if you'll let me . . ." Jimmy's eyes continued to dart around and avoid meeting Jess'.
"Jimmy, just look at me and ask already!"
"If I paid for a plane ticket, would you want to see her again?" Jimmy's eyes landed on Jess' face somewhere around the middle of his question, and he watched the younger man's face shift from frustrated annoyance to wide- eyed surprise.
"Plane ticket?" Jess eventually managed to ask. He felt like he'd been hit by a bus. This was the last thing that he expected Jimmy to ask him.
"Yeah. For like a week or something. You could go back, see her and Luke, some of your other friends."
"I don't have any other friends there," Jess snapped out quickly. He pushed a hand through his hair and slumped down into the chair. He wanted to see Rory again, and it might be nice to see Luke too, but going back to Stars Hollow? There were a lot of memories there that Jess didn't think he was ready to face yet. "I can't go back there," he admitted.
Jimmy's forehead creased in confusion. "I thought you told me that you weren't in any trouble back there."
"I'm not," Jess sighed. "I just can't . . . the people there, they don't forget things easily, and I did some stuff. The way I left, they won't forget that, they'll talk, and I can't do that to Rory and Luke."
"Okay," Jimmy nodded. "Um, well, what if I paid for her to come out here?"
Jess considered that idea. Every once and awhile Rory would drop a hint that she was interested in seeing him again, but it always seemed like she was asking him if he was planning on making a visit back to Stars Hollow. She'd never once mentioned a desire to come to California. But, then again, he'd never really asked her.
"I don't know," Jess said, picking at the edge of the weather-worn table. He looked over at Jimmy. "Why do you want to do this?"
"You talk to this girl every week, Jess. You keep pictures of her hidden inside books; she's important to you. When someone is that important, you should be able to see them," Jimmy said softly.
"It'd be awkward, seeing her again. Talking on the phone is one thing, but being in the same room again? I don't know if it's a good idea." Jess watched Jimmy's face fall a little. He sat up and rested his forearms on the table. "But I'll think about it, Jimmy."
Jimmy brightened and stood. "Okay. Okay, good." He clapped a hand on Jess' shoulder. "Let me know?"
"Yeah." Jess managed a small smile as Jimmy gave his shoulder an affectionate shake, but as soon as the he was alone again his mouth twisted into a scowl. He buried his face in his hands, completely lost as to what to do. Well, not completely lost. He did have one idea, but it would have to wait until later. Pushing his hair back, Jess stood and scrubbed at his eyes with the heels of his hands. He'd deal with all of it later; right now he had to get back to work.
**********
Jess drug himself up the stairs, struggled to get his key out of his pocket, and stumbled gratefully over to the battered couch. He flopped down face first, not caring about the handful of stuffing that the action forced out of one of the cushions. Summer was now officially he least favorite time of year. The only thought keeping him from losing his mind was that he had tomorrow off, and for the rest of the week he only had to work at the bookstore. Most of the tourists tended to avoid the dimly lit little shop in favor of the brightly lit chain bookstores. If they were even looking for books. The used bookstore tended to rely on the repeat business of the neighborhood rather than the summer influx of tourists.
Flipping over onto his back, Jess stared longingly at the refrigerator. There was half a carton of Chinese takeout in it, and he would have given almost anything for telekinetic powers at that moment so he wouldn't have to get up to get it. Groaning, he got to his feet and shuffled over and retrieved the container. He took a reasonably clean fork from the sink, leaned his hip against the two feet of counter space the kitchenette offered him, and began methodically eating. A voice in the back of his mind was suggesting that it might taste better if he reheated the food, but that involved too much brain power for Jess at that moment. All he'd been doing since he'd talked to Jimmy that afternoon had been thinking, and he desperately wanted to do something else for a little while.
He absolutely didn't want to think anymore about the possibly of seeing Rory again. Of course, he'd spent enough time thinking that he didn't want to think about it that he had no choice but to think about it.
"And now I'm starting to think LIKE her," he muttered when he realized how scattered his brain had become. "I need help," he told his dinner and then laughed at himself, "and I'm not going to get it from cold lo-mein."
He dropped the empty carton into the trash and tossed the fork back into the sink. Crossing the room, he sat down on the edge of his bed, toed off his shoes, and flopped backwards. He reached for the phone blindly and pulled it to him, dialing before he could even see the numbers. He only had to wait for a few moments before it was picked up.
"Yeah?"
"Is that the proper way to answer a phone in a place of business?" Jess asked sarcastically.
"It's my phone, and I'll answer it any way I want to. What do you want?"
"I can't just want to talk to my favorite uncle?"
"I'm your only uncle," Luke snorted.
"True," Jess agreed. He heard some noise in the background on Luke's end of the line. "Are you busy right now?"
"It's only Taylor," Luke told him, "so, no. What's going on?"
Jess coughed lightly. "Jimmy offered me something today."
"Gonna need more to go on, Jess," Luke said. "Was it like a an After- School Special kind of thing or more of a Lifetime Network situation?"
"Ha ha," Jess barked. "I'm being serious."
"So am I. I can't read your mind."
"Jimmy offered me a plane ticket to Connecticut," Jess said in a rush.
"Uh-huh." Luke's surprise was evident even in those two syllables.
"Yeah," Jess sighed. "I told him I couldn't take it."
"Then why are we talking about it?" Luke asked.
"After I told him that, he offered to send it to Rory so she could come out here." Jess rolled onto his side and pulled one of the pillows from the head of the bed to curl around. It was an unconscious little boy action, and, if anyone else had been in the room with him, it would have betrayed his nervousness and insecurity.
"Ah. And what you'd tell him when he said that?"
"That I wasn't sure if it was a good idea, but I'd think about it."
Luke hummed in his throat. "And you want me to help you think about it? That's what this call's about?"
Jess chuckled darkly. "I've been doing nothing but think about it all afternoon. I want you to tell me I'm not making a huge mistake."
"Lemme clear my schedule then." Jess heard the rustle of Luke laying the phone against his shoulder and then the shout of 'Taylor, it's past your bedtime, get out!' Taylor sputtered unintelligibly in indignation, the bell over the door rattled dimly, and then Luke was back. "All right, what have you decided?"
"I do want to see Rory again," Jess began, "and I think she might want to see me . . . but I don't know if this is the right time."
"It's been over a year," Luke reminded him. "You said you think she wants to see you?"
"Yeah, maybe, but it's more like her asking if I'm planning on moving back there. She's never mentioned coming out here."
"You ever mentioned it?" Luke asked.
"No," Jess said shortly.
Luke bit back a chuckle. "Are you going to?"
"I'm leaning that way," Jess revealed. He rolled to his back, still clutching the pillow to his chest. "What do you think?"
"What I think about you asking her, or what I think Rory will say?"
"Either, both, whatever."
Clearing his throat, Luke tackled Jess' first question. "If you think she might want to see you again, then I think you should ask her. Otherwise, you're just going to wonder about it."
"Probably," Jess sighed.
"If you want to know what I think Rory will say? I really have no idea," Luke said truthfully. "If it were me . . ."
"Suddenly, you're a nineteen year old girl?" Jess interrupted.
"If it were me," Luke repeated, "I'd feel awkward seeing you again, no question. Especially with Venice being your comfort zone, and not having anything I'm familiar with to go to if things got too uncomfortable with you."
Jess groaned in despair. "That's really not helping, Luke."
"I wasn't finished," Luke snapped. "I was also going to say that if I were Rory, as awkward as it might be, I'd be really upset if you didn't at least let me decide for myself if I'm ready to feel that awkward."
"Do I even want to know why you're so comfortable inside Rory's head? Is there something you want to tell me?" Jess teased.
Luke grumbled into the phone. "Why do I bother to help you if you're just going to mock?"
"Because I'm lovable in my surliness?"
"I don't think even Rory thinks that," Luke laughed. Neither man spoke for a few moments until Luke finally asked, "You decided what you're going to do?"
Jess took a deep breath and flung his pillow to the floor. "Yep."
"And are you going to share that decision?" Luke asked gruffly.
"I'm going to ask her about it." Jess pushed himself into a seated position. "I just have to figure out how."
Luke made a noise of commiseration in his throat. "I'm sure I'll know when you do."
"Why's that?" Jess asked.
"Well, either Rory and I will have the same conversation you and I just had, or Lorelai will storm in here and eviscerate me," Luke said dryly. "You get the diner if I die."
"Great. I'll sell it to Taylor, and he can turn it into a souvenir thimble shop."
"And now you can't have it," Luke said shortly.
"Darn. Taylor will be so disappointed," Jess said sarcastically.
"Don't you have call Rory now?" Luke's laughter was barely hidden as his question made Jess groan again.
"You could just say that you want me to hang up instead of killing my good mood," Jess almost whined.
Luke snorted. "I want you to hang up."
Jess sighed with mock dejection. "Fine, fine. No one loves me."
"Good to know you're keeping perspective out there."
Luke's joke brightened Jess' mood slightly. "Those lonely nights watching Comedy Central are really rubbing off on you. Maybe you and Miss Patty can put together a show."
"Get off my phone, Jess," Luke growled.
"Bye, Uncle Luke. Give my regards to Broadway." Jess broke into uninhibited laughter as Luke muttered something that sounded like 'insolent punk' and hung up the phone.
**********
Two days later, Jess was leaning against the sink in Jimmy and Sasha's kitchen watching Lily settle herself at the table with a bowl full of what would eventually become cake batter. It was Sasha's birthday on Saturday, and Jess had promised Lily that he'd help her make a cake. He'd supervised her putting all the ingredients together, and now it was just a matter of mixing it, something Lily could do by hand while Jess called Rory and attempted to ask her to come visit him without making either one of them too uncomfortable. He picked up the phone from where he'd set it next to him and dialed Rory.
"What?" was the greeting barked in Jess' ear when the line was picked up.
"Well, hello, Paris. Don't you have someone else you can bother when you're not at school?" Paris only hissed for Rory to keep the call short, causing Jess to laugh softly while he waited for Rory to come to the phone.
"Hi, Jess," Rory said more sternly than she usually did. "Paris, get off me! It's my house, I'll talk on the phone as long as I want to, and you were supposed to go home two hours ago."
Jess heard Paris continue to squabble with Rory for a few minutes before the sound of a door opening and closing signaled the high-strung girl's departure. "She doesn't annoy you enough at school, she has to follow you home and do it over the summer, too?" he wanted to know.
Rory sighed wearily. "She showed up earlier with a list of all the things she felt went well and not so well in our dorm room so we can plan over the summer on how to make next year better. She said it would only take an hour, but I should have known it was a Paris Gellar Hour and not a regular hour."
"Next year?" Jess asked. "You're living with her again?"
"Yeah."
"Why?"
"She's not as bad as she sounds," Rory insisted. "Paris is just a little tense sometimes. We actually had fun once and awhile."
"Whatever you say," Jess said. "You're a brave woman, Rory Gilmore."
"I have my moments," she agreed. "What's going on tonight?"
Jess adopted a regal tone. "Tonight, young Miss Lily and I are undertaking the long-honored task of pastry making." He smiled at Lily who had looked over at him when she heard him mention her name.
"Hi, Rory!" the girl called out, giggling and sticking her tongue out at Jess before turning back to the bowl in front of her.
Rory was laughing in Jess' ear. "I didn't know you baked."
"We're getting an assist from Duncan Hines," Jess admitted. "But I can crack a mean egg."
"I can attest to that. What else is new this week?"
He knew this was his opening to present the idea of a visit, and Jess took it. "Actually, something interesting happened the other day."
"What?" Rory sounded intrigued by whatever his news might be.
"Um . . . well, Jimmy asked me something," Jess felt Lily staring at him and faltered.
Rory waited patiently for a moment for Jess to continue, but when he didn't, concern crept into her voice. "Jess? Is everything okay?"
Giving Lily another smile as an apology, Jess turned his back to the young girl and continued talking to Rory. "Yeah, fine. Jimmy wanted to know if you and I had ever talked about seeing each other, maybe getting together for a visit or something," he said lightly, trying to make it seem like it was just a passing question and not a potentially loaded situation.
Rory's sharply drawn breath told him he hadn't succeeded. "Oh . . . really? Well, that's . . . I mean, that we've . . ." Rory stammered.
"I've thought about it," Jess told her. "And I'm pretty sure you have. You've asked me about moving back to Stars Hollow before."
"Thought about it, sure," Rory said quietly, "but actually doing it is different."
"Yeah." Jess swallowed thickly. "Would you want to?"
"Maybe," Rory whispered eventually. In a louder voice, she started voicing her doubts. "It's just that it'd be really awkward, you know? We haven't seen each other in a long time, and the last time we did see each other it wasn't good. And we've both been doing new things, and we've changed. It might not be the same. Or it might be exactly the same." She sounded like that last option was the worst one of all of them.
"I've already thought of all of that," Jess said. "I didn't ask you why you think we shouldn't. I asked you if you wanted to."
Rory exhaled heavily. "If I do, how would it work? You've made it pretty clear that you don't feel comfortable coming back here, and I can't exactly afford to go to California."
Jess started nervously running his fingers along the edge of the sink. "Yeah, about that. Jimmy's question actually had two parts." He paused and looked over his shoulder at Lily. Seeing that she was still engrossed in lumpy cake batter, he proceeded. "Jimmy offered to pay for a plane ticket."
Her breathing sped, but Rory remained silent for almost five minutes. Jess waited just as silently on the other end of the line. It didn't take him long to notice that his own breathing had sped along with hers, and they were now inhaling and exhaling at the same time. He wondered if that meant they were thinking the same thing as well. Finally, Rory spoke.
"Can I think about it, Jess?" she asked.
"Sure," Jess told her quickly and then worried that he sounded too eager.
"Okay, then I'll think about it. Is there a time limit or anything?"
"Jimmy didn't give me one, but probably sometime this summer."
Rory giggled softly. "Well, yeah. I was just wondering if you needed to know before next week when we talk."
"That'll be fine," Jess assured her.
"Um, Jess? What do you want me to decide?" Rory asked shyly.
While Jess really wanted to hear Rory say she'd accept the ticket, he wanted the decision to be entirely hers. "Don't worry about what I want. Do what you want to do, okay?"
"Okay." She sounded grateful that he wasn't going to push her into a decision. "I think I need to go now."
"I understand," he said gently. For the briefest moment he wished Rory were in front of him right now so that he could smooth the tension lines he knew were creasing between her eyes.
Rory ended the call the same way that she always did. "Good night, Jess."
"Night, Rory," Jess returned. He waited for her to hang up before doing the same. Turning back around, he closed the short distance to the table and set the phone down. Lily looked up at him with expectant eyes. Jess reached down and flipped the end of one of her pigtails between his fingers.
"I think it's mixed enough," she told him, tilting the bowl gently so that Jess could see into it.
"I think your right," he agreed. "Let's pour it in the pan, huh?" Jess pushed the pan he'd gotten out earlier across the table to Lily and helped her steady the bowl while she poured carefully.
"Is Rory coming to visit?" Lily asked suddenly. She shrugged when Jess looked at her sharply. "You're loud even when you're quiet," she explained.
Jess sighed and flipped her hair again. "I don't know, Lil. She's gotta think about it."
"Oh." Lily swiped the rim of the bowl and licked her finger. "I hope she comes."
"Me too," Jess said softly, stealing a stray drip of cake batter for himself. "Me too."
**********
Author's Notes the Second: Thanks for reading, and don't for get to let me know what you think. Coming up in Chapter Ten: Rory's decision!
Disclaimer: I own nothing thus far other than the plot. All events through the end of Season 3 have occurred, but I'm trying to stay spoiler free for the upcoming season. Any similarities between what I've written and what will occur in Season 4 are coincidence. Chapter titles are borrowed from various Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers songs. I don't own those either.
**********
Chapter Nine: All Or Nothing
June 2004
Jess made change for what seemed like the nine-hundredth person that day, and it wasn't even two o'clock. He thought the tourists that came through Connecticut to see the leaves were bad. They were nothing compared to the summer tourists on the boardwalk. He'd never seen so many pale people in awe of a body of water before. He'd made a mental note after the first real day of the season to never visit the Midwest. If the people he was seeing were any indication, he'd become hopelessly bored there inside of twenty minutes, and then he wouldn't be responsible for his actions. Glancing at the clock, he was grateful to find that it was almost time for his break. Not only was making change tedious, but the sight of another hot-dog was going to make him scream.
A touch on his shoulder made him jump. Jimmy was standing behind him with an expectant look on his face. "Take your break and come outside," Jimmy said. "I want to talk to you about something."
Jess untied his apron, tossed it at Lee, and followed Jimmy to one of the tables scattered outside. He sank into a chair across from the older man and drummed his fingers on the table, waiting for Jimmy to say something.
Jimmy took a deep breath and started speaking, but he looked everywhere except at Jess. "I know that you didn't come out here for anything other than to try and get to know me, and I think we've been doing pretty well at that. I also know that you don't want me giving you things out of some sense of obligation that you think I might feel for taking off on you and your mom."
"Is there going to be a point to this, or are we just going over all the things you know?" Jess asked impatiently.
"Apparently you didn't inherit my nervous rambling," Jimmy said wryly.
"No, thank God. I'd drive myself crazy." Jess continued drumming on the table. "So?" he prompted Jimmy to continue.
"Right. If I offered to do something for you, would you consider it for awhile before refusing?"
Jess' fingers stilled and his eyebrows arched skeptically. "That would depend on what you're offering, I guess."
Jimmy cleared his throat. "Your friend in Connecticut . . . Rory . . ."
"What about her?" Jess became defensive almost without thinking about it.
"Do you, or maybe she'd . . . I like to, if you'll let me . . ." Jimmy's eyes continued to dart around and avoid meeting Jess'.
"Jimmy, just look at me and ask already!"
"If I paid for a plane ticket, would you want to see her again?" Jimmy's eyes landed on Jess' face somewhere around the middle of his question, and he watched the younger man's face shift from frustrated annoyance to wide- eyed surprise.
"Plane ticket?" Jess eventually managed to ask. He felt like he'd been hit by a bus. This was the last thing that he expected Jimmy to ask him.
"Yeah. For like a week or something. You could go back, see her and Luke, some of your other friends."
"I don't have any other friends there," Jess snapped out quickly. He pushed a hand through his hair and slumped down into the chair. He wanted to see Rory again, and it might be nice to see Luke too, but going back to Stars Hollow? There were a lot of memories there that Jess didn't think he was ready to face yet. "I can't go back there," he admitted.
Jimmy's forehead creased in confusion. "I thought you told me that you weren't in any trouble back there."
"I'm not," Jess sighed. "I just can't . . . the people there, they don't forget things easily, and I did some stuff. The way I left, they won't forget that, they'll talk, and I can't do that to Rory and Luke."
"Okay," Jimmy nodded. "Um, well, what if I paid for her to come out here?"
Jess considered that idea. Every once and awhile Rory would drop a hint that she was interested in seeing him again, but it always seemed like she was asking him if he was planning on making a visit back to Stars Hollow. She'd never once mentioned a desire to come to California. But, then again, he'd never really asked her.
"I don't know," Jess said, picking at the edge of the weather-worn table. He looked over at Jimmy. "Why do you want to do this?"
"You talk to this girl every week, Jess. You keep pictures of her hidden inside books; she's important to you. When someone is that important, you should be able to see them," Jimmy said softly.
"It'd be awkward, seeing her again. Talking on the phone is one thing, but being in the same room again? I don't know if it's a good idea." Jess watched Jimmy's face fall a little. He sat up and rested his forearms on the table. "But I'll think about it, Jimmy."
Jimmy brightened and stood. "Okay. Okay, good." He clapped a hand on Jess' shoulder. "Let me know?"
"Yeah." Jess managed a small smile as Jimmy gave his shoulder an affectionate shake, but as soon as the he was alone again his mouth twisted into a scowl. He buried his face in his hands, completely lost as to what to do. Well, not completely lost. He did have one idea, but it would have to wait until later. Pushing his hair back, Jess stood and scrubbed at his eyes with the heels of his hands. He'd deal with all of it later; right now he had to get back to work.
**********
Jess drug himself up the stairs, struggled to get his key out of his pocket, and stumbled gratefully over to the battered couch. He flopped down face first, not caring about the handful of stuffing that the action forced out of one of the cushions. Summer was now officially he least favorite time of year. The only thought keeping him from losing his mind was that he had tomorrow off, and for the rest of the week he only had to work at the bookstore. Most of the tourists tended to avoid the dimly lit little shop in favor of the brightly lit chain bookstores. If they were even looking for books. The used bookstore tended to rely on the repeat business of the neighborhood rather than the summer influx of tourists.
Flipping over onto his back, Jess stared longingly at the refrigerator. There was half a carton of Chinese takeout in it, and he would have given almost anything for telekinetic powers at that moment so he wouldn't have to get up to get it. Groaning, he got to his feet and shuffled over and retrieved the container. He took a reasonably clean fork from the sink, leaned his hip against the two feet of counter space the kitchenette offered him, and began methodically eating. A voice in the back of his mind was suggesting that it might taste better if he reheated the food, but that involved too much brain power for Jess at that moment. All he'd been doing since he'd talked to Jimmy that afternoon had been thinking, and he desperately wanted to do something else for a little while.
He absolutely didn't want to think anymore about the possibly of seeing Rory again. Of course, he'd spent enough time thinking that he didn't want to think about it that he had no choice but to think about it.
"And now I'm starting to think LIKE her," he muttered when he realized how scattered his brain had become. "I need help," he told his dinner and then laughed at himself, "and I'm not going to get it from cold lo-mein."
He dropped the empty carton into the trash and tossed the fork back into the sink. Crossing the room, he sat down on the edge of his bed, toed off his shoes, and flopped backwards. He reached for the phone blindly and pulled it to him, dialing before he could even see the numbers. He only had to wait for a few moments before it was picked up.
"Yeah?"
"Is that the proper way to answer a phone in a place of business?" Jess asked sarcastically.
"It's my phone, and I'll answer it any way I want to. What do you want?"
"I can't just want to talk to my favorite uncle?"
"I'm your only uncle," Luke snorted.
"True," Jess agreed. He heard some noise in the background on Luke's end of the line. "Are you busy right now?"
"It's only Taylor," Luke told him, "so, no. What's going on?"
Jess coughed lightly. "Jimmy offered me something today."
"Gonna need more to go on, Jess," Luke said. "Was it like a an After- School Special kind of thing or more of a Lifetime Network situation?"
"Ha ha," Jess barked. "I'm being serious."
"So am I. I can't read your mind."
"Jimmy offered me a plane ticket to Connecticut," Jess said in a rush.
"Uh-huh." Luke's surprise was evident even in those two syllables.
"Yeah," Jess sighed. "I told him I couldn't take it."
"Then why are we talking about it?" Luke asked.
"After I told him that, he offered to send it to Rory so she could come out here." Jess rolled onto his side and pulled one of the pillows from the head of the bed to curl around. It was an unconscious little boy action, and, if anyone else had been in the room with him, it would have betrayed his nervousness and insecurity.
"Ah. And what you'd tell him when he said that?"
"That I wasn't sure if it was a good idea, but I'd think about it."
Luke hummed in his throat. "And you want me to help you think about it? That's what this call's about?"
Jess chuckled darkly. "I've been doing nothing but think about it all afternoon. I want you to tell me I'm not making a huge mistake."
"Lemme clear my schedule then." Jess heard the rustle of Luke laying the phone against his shoulder and then the shout of 'Taylor, it's past your bedtime, get out!' Taylor sputtered unintelligibly in indignation, the bell over the door rattled dimly, and then Luke was back. "All right, what have you decided?"
"I do want to see Rory again," Jess began, "and I think she might want to see me . . . but I don't know if this is the right time."
"It's been over a year," Luke reminded him. "You said you think she wants to see you?"
"Yeah, maybe, but it's more like her asking if I'm planning on moving back there. She's never mentioned coming out here."
"You ever mentioned it?" Luke asked.
"No," Jess said shortly.
Luke bit back a chuckle. "Are you going to?"
"I'm leaning that way," Jess revealed. He rolled to his back, still clutching the pillow to his chest. "What do you think?"
"What I think about you asking her, or what I think Rory will say?"
"Either, both, whatever."
Clearing his throat, Luke tackled Jess' first question. "If you think she might want to see you again, then I think you should ask her. Otherwise, you're just going to wonder about it."
"Probably," Jess sighed.
"If you want to know what I think Rory will say? I really have no idea," Luke said truthfully. "If it were me . . ."
"Suddenly, you're a nineteen year old girl?" Jess interrupted.
"If it were me," Luke repeated, "I'd feel awkward seeing you again, no question. Especially with Venice being your comfort zone, and not having anything I'm familiar with to go to if things got too uncomfortable with you."
Jess groaned in despair. "That's really not helping, Luke."
"I wasn't finished," Luke snapped. "I was also going to say that if I were Rory, as awkward as it might be, I'd be really upset if you didn't at least let me decide for myself if I'm ready to feel that awkward."
"Do I even want to know why you're so comfortable inside Rory's head? Is there something you want to tell me?" Jess teased.
Luke grumbled into the phone. "Why do I bother to help you if you're just going to mock?"
"Because I'm lovable in my surliness?"
"I don't think even Rory thinks that," Luke laughed. Neither man spoke for a few moments until Luke finally asked, "You decided what you're going to do?"
Jess took a deep breath and flung his pillow to the floor. "Yep."
"And are you going to share that decision?" Luke asked gruffly.
"I'm going to ask her about it." Jess pushed himself into a seated position. "I just have to figure out how."
Luke made a noise of commiseration in his throat. "I'm sure I'll know when you do."
"Why's that?" Jess asked.
"Well, either Rory and I will have the same conversation you and I just had, or Lorelai will storm in here and eviscerate me," Luke said dryly. "You get the diner if I die."
"Great. I'll sell it to Taylor, and he can turn it into a souvenir thimble shop."
"And now you can't have it," Luke said shortly.
"Darn. Taylor will be so disappointed," Jess said sarcastically.
"Don't you have call Rory now?" Luke's laughter was barely hidden as his question made Jess groan again.
"You could just say that you want me to hang up instead of killing my good mood," Jess almost whined.
Luke snorted. "I want you to hang up."
Jess sighed with mock dejection. "Fine, fine. No one loves me."
"Good to know you're keeping perspective out there."
Luke's joke brightened Jess' mood slightly. "Those lonely nights watching Comedy Central are really rubbing off on you. Maybe you and Miss Patty can put together a show."
"Get off my phone, Jess," Luke growled.
"Bye, Uncle Luke. Give my regards to Broadway." Jess broke into uninhibited laughter as Luke muttered something that sounded like 'insolent punk' and hung up the phone.
**********
Two days later, Jess was leaning against the sink in Jimmy and Sasha's kitchen watching Lily settle herself at the table with a bowl full of what would eventually become cake batter. It was Sasha's birthday on Saturday, and Jess had promised Lily that he'd help her make a cake. He'd supervised her putting all the ingredients together, and now it was just a matter of mixing it, something Lily could do by hand while Jess called Rory and attempted to ask her to come visit him without making either one of them too uncomfortable. He picked up the phone from where he'd set it next to him and dialed Rory.
"What?" was the greeting barked in Jess' ear when the line was picked up.
"Well, hello, Paris. Don't you have someone else you can bother when you're not at school?" Paris only hissed for Rory to keep the call short, causing Jess to laugh softly while he waited for Rory to come to the phone.
"Hi, Jess," Rory said more sternly than she usually did. "Paris, get off me! It's my house, I'll talk on the phone as long as I want to, and you were supposed to go home two hours ago."
Jess heard Paris continue to squabble with Rory for a few minutes before the sound of a door opening and closing signaled the high-strung girl's departure. "She doesn't annoy you enough at school, she has to follow you home and do it over the summer, too?" he wanted to know.
Rory sighed wearily. "She showed up earlier with a list of all the things she felt went well and not so well in our dorm room so we can plan over the summer on how to make next year better. She said it would only take an hour, but I should have known it was a Paris Gellar Hour and not a regular hour."
"Next year?" Jess asked. "You're living with her again?"
"Yeah."
"Why?"
"She's not as bad as she sounds," Rory insisted. "Paris is just a little tense sometimes. We actually had fun once and awhile."
"Whatever you say," Jess said. "You're a brave woman, Rory Gilmore."
"I have my moments," she agreed. "What's going on tonight?"
Jess adopted a regal tone. "Tonight, young Miss Lily and I are undertaking the long-honored task of pastry making." He smiled at Lily who had looked over at him when she heard him mention her name.
"Hi, Rory!" the girl called out, giggling and sticking her tongue out at Jess before turning back to the bowl in front of her.
Rory was laughing in Jess' ear. "I didn't know you baked."
"We're getting an assist from Duncan Hines," Jess admitted. "But I can crack a mean egg."
"I can attest to that. What else is new this week?"
He knew this was his opening to present the idea of a visit, and Jess took it. "Actually, something interesting happened the other day."
"What?" Rory sounded intrigued by whatever his news might be.
"Um . . . well, Jimmy asked me something," Jess felt Lily staring at him and faltered.
Rory waited patiently for a moment for Jess to continue, but when he didn't, concern crept into her voice. "Jess? Is everything okay?"
Giving Lily another smile as an apology, Jess turned his back to the young girl and continued talking to Rory. "Yeah, fine. Jimmy wanted to know if you and I had ever talked about seeing each other, maybe getting together for a visit or something," he said lightly, trying to make it seem like it was just a passing question and not a potentially loaded situation.
Rory's sharply drawn breath told him he hadn't succeeded. "Oh . . . really? Well, that's . . . I mean, that we've . . ." Rory stammered.
"I've thought about it," Jess told her. "And I'm pretty sure you have. You've asked me about moving back to Stars Hollow before."
"Thought about it, sure," Rory said quietly, "but actually doing it is different."
"Yeah." Jess swallowed thickly. "Would you want to?"
"Maybe," Rory whispered eventually. In a louder voice, she started voicing her doubts. "It's just that it'd be really awkward, you know? We haven't seen each other in a long time, and the last time we did see each other it wasn't good. And we've both been doing new things, and we've changed. It might not be the same. Or it might be exactly the same." She sounded like that last option was the worst one of all of them.
"I've already thought of all of that," Jess said. "I didn't ask you why you think we shouldn't. I asked you if you wanted to."
Rory exhaled heavily. "If I do, how would it work? You've made it pretty clear that you don't feel comfortable coming back here, and I can't exactly afford to go to California."
Jess started nervously running his fingers along the edge of the sink. "Yeah, about that. Jimmy's question actually had two parts." He paused and looked over his shoulder at Lily. Seeing that she was still engrossed in lumpy cake batter, he proceeded. "Jimmy offered to pay for a plane ticket."
Her breathing sped, but Rory remained silent for almost five minutes. Jess waited just as silently on the other end of the line. It didn't take him long to notice that his own breathing had sped along with hers, and they were now inhaling and exhaling at the same time. He wondered if that meant they were thinking the same thing as well. Finally, Rory spoke.
"Can I think about it, Jess?" she asked.
"Sure," Jess told her quickly and then worried that he sounded too eager.
"Okay, then I'll think about it. Is there a time limit or anything?"
"Jimmy didn't give me one, but probably sometime this summer."
Rory giggled softly. "Well, yeah. I was just wondering if you needed to know before next week when we talk."
"That'll be fine," Jess assured her.
"Um, Jess? What do you want me to decide?" Rory asked shyly.
While Jess really wanted to hear Rory say she'd accept the ticket, he wanted the decision to be entirely hers. "Don't worry about what I want. Do what you want to do, okay?"
"Okay." She sounded grateful that he wasn't going to push her into a decision. "I think I need to go now."
"I understand," he said gently. For the briefest moment he wished Rory were in front of him right now so that he could smooth the tension lines he knew were creasing between her eyes.
Rory ended the call the same way that she always did. "Good night, Jess."
"Night, Rory," Jess returned. He waited for her to hang up before doing the same. Turning back around, he closed the short distance to the table and set the phone down. Lily looked up at him with expectant eyes. Jess reached down and flipped the end of one of her pigtails between his fingers.
"I think it's mixed enough," she told him, tilting the bowl gently so that Jess could see into it.
"I think your right," he agreed. "Let's pour it in the pan, huh?" Jess pushed the pan he'd gotten out earlier across the table to Lily and helped her steady the bowl while she poured carefully.
"Is Rory coming to visit?" Lily asked suddenly. She shrugged when Jess looked at her sharply. "You're loud even when you're quiet," she explained.
Jess sighed and flipped her hair again. "I don't know, Lil. She's gotta think about it."
"Oh." Lily swiped the rim of the bowl and licked her finger. "I hope she comes."
"Me too," Jess said softly, stealing a stray drip of cake batter for himself. "Me too."
**********
Author's Notes the Second: Thanks for reading, and don't for get to let me know what you think. Coming up in Chapter Ten: Rory's decision!