Part II: Horohoro

It can make you cuss, it can make you sing

What a fucking bastard! He kept me guessing and hanging for years. That's all I was to him, a prize, a good screw, a puppy that he could command, what a sucker I was! Horohoro repeated this in his head. He was about 3 miles from the Oversoul mansion and he wasn't going back, back to that damned singer. The tears still gushed from his eyes, but they were now bitter and cold. It used to be different… but did he ever really love me?

IN his hand was a half-empty bottler of hard whiskey, which he took a long swig from and coughed. It hurt going down, but it hurt anyways. Horohoro knew he couldn't handle the alcohol, but what did it matter now? He could die; no one cared… When Ren had let him go, that was his death.

Horohoro came to a huge wall and a telephone pole. Plastered on the wall were pictures of Ren, with OVERSOUL on it in big letters underneath.

"Oh yeah, I forgot!" Horohoro shouted at the posters, now almost blurry. "YOU can get a new drummer! No problem! 'Cause it was always all about you! No one else! It's only the great Tao Ren and his band, right? You wasted the best years of my freaking life! Well FUCK YOU!" He took about five more chugs of the fire water, sputtering and coughing after. Blood splattered on the pavement as Horohoro grasped his throat and coughed more violently. The bottle was soon empty. As tears streamed down his face, Horohoro sobbed, "Why do I still love him? I'm just setting myself up for another, greater heartbreak again. Well, I'm out of the fucking band!" A shatter of glass and the alcohol bottle hit the poster, splitting into hundreds of pieces.

The blue haired drummer fell to his knees on some glass and bent over holding his stomach. A split second later, he wretched on the cold pavement, blood splattering everywhere in dark red puddles. Who cared if he had been coughing up blood for a month in secret? No one. There was no one he felt he should tell. He looked around and couldn't help laughing as the tears from his face mingled with the red blood around his mouth. The surroundings were all too familiar. This was the very spot where he confessed his feelings for the short Chinese boy. And that was the evening of his first kiss… right on this very spot where he kneeled years later, dying.

Soon, the puddle of blood turned into a pond as Horohoro threw up again, slamming his hands on glass shards.

"It doesn't matter, nothing does… Good bye Ren… it was sweet and cruel, but I know you'll find a replacement," he yelled into the still, freezing night.

"I could never replace you, Horohoro…" a slightly out of breath and painfully familiar voice said behind him. A short Chinese boy with a huge spike in his raven hair stood by the lamppost, his face flushed and gasping for air. He had been running and looked slightly scared.

"Ren… leave me alone…" the drummer said, closing his eyes and squeezing out more tears. But the Chinese boy didn't leave; instead he rushed to Horohoro's side and knelt down in his blood, grasping his arms Horohoro and turning him over, Ren began to cry.

"Shit, Horo! Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you get mad at me earlier? Why didn't I care?! You can't leave me now, I won't let you!" he yelled, holding the drummer tighter and Horohoro began to clutch Ren's coat.

"God-Dammit Horo!! You're not going to leave me like this! I can't live without you and I'm sorry! Fuck, I am so sorry but please don't leave me! I need you! Please!! I love you!"

"Ren…" the boy said, the blood beginning to crust around his lips. "I love you…"

"Don't leave… please…" he leaned over and kissed the bloody lips. Then he pulled out his cell phone and dialed 911. Practically yelling in his shaky voice, he said "I'm on 7th street between Merrill and James. My lover is dying in my arms, I need an ambulance! M-My name is Tao Ren; now get the God damned ambulance over here! He's dying, get it!?" He hung up and began stroking the blue hair on Horohoro's head. "How could I let this happen to you… I forgot about it all, and I've been stupid, and horrible… Don't give up on me. I-I'll change, I promise, just don't leave me."

Horohoro smiled in the least bit and placed a cold blood-covered hand on Ren's cheek, looking sad and helpless. "I want to, Ren… I… can't hold on…"

"Dammit, you are going to! Fight it! You can't leave me! The band- I still have to make this up to you! We can go back to how we were and I'll set the fans straight! I only want you! I can't sing without the one guy who's always been there for me!"

As soon as Ren finished the sentence, red and white flashing lights came streaming up the street with the loud siren running. The paramedics jumped out of the ambulance and strapped Horohoro to a stretcher, taking him and Ren into the ambulance, Ren still gripping Horohoro's hand. Around him, the paramedics were rushing and yelling questions as they sped to the hospital. Ren answered them in a dronish tone as he watched Horohoro's face.

"Does he have any allergies?"

"Grass and weeds."

"What does he take?"

"Claritin."

"Does he have any other prescriptions."

With a guilty heart, Ren muttered, "Zoloft… sometimes." That was probably his fault too for making his drummer so depressed.

"Any known injuries?"

There was a silence in which the man repeated his question. Ren muttered, "Not unless you count a broken heart. But he's been throwing up blood and he drank some alcohol…" He could tell by the smell of Horohoro's breath.

"What blood type is he?"

"AB-."

"They're running short on that type at the hospital, we may have to do a transfusion!" the driver yelled, relaying information on the radio.

"I'll do it," Ren said, never looking away from his drummer's face.

"What blood type are you, sir?"

"O-."

"That'll work. Do either of you have HIV or AIDS?"

"No."

"Any diseases?"

"NO."

"What are you, his brother?"

"His boyfriend," Ren mumbled, trying to figure out some other way to help. Horo had to survive this… if he didn't…

The paramedic hooking Ren up to the blood machine looked at the tattoo on his forearm and gasped a little, saying, "Are you that singer from Oversoul? Tao Ren? And he's… Horohoro?"

Ren glared at her and yelled, "When you save his life I'll sign the autographs, but until then can you just work!?"

The other paramedic said, "Is he anemic?"

"No."

"We're going to have to pump his stomach, Arch," he yelled at the driver, who relayed it to the Emergency ward.

It went on like that until they reached the hospital and Horohoro was rushed off to ER while Ren was left in the waiting room. He dialed his cell phone and told Yoh everything that happened as he ran over it in his mind, trying hard not to think the worst. In a matter of minutes, Yoh and Faust were in the waiting room with their singer, in the middle of the night, while Ren just sat and looked blankly at the wall, too scared to speak.

Faust talked to one of the nurses, identifying himself as a doctor, and came back in a while, saying, "They've stopped the bleeding the best they can, but they won't know until morning… they have him on meds and his stomach is now empty… and they were able to get all the glass out of his wrists and hands."

Ren looked up and muttered, "But how is he?"

There was a silence and Faust garbled, "He hasn't woken up yet, so they don't know… Ren, it wasn't all your fault."

"Yes it was. All of it was my fault. I've been the biggest prick on this planet to him! And don't even say that it isn't true, Yoh, because I know it is!" Immediately, Yoh shut his mouth, but put a hand on Ren's shoulder, trying to comfort him.

Slowly, the guitarist said, "There'll be time to make it up to him… you'll see."

Ren glared at his hands as he sat hunched over in his seat… He could hear newscasters outside. Of course the press had gotten wind of it. That was the last thing he needed now… but maybe not.

He stood up and walked toward the sliding door, Faust and Yoh following him. Stepping out onto the steps, the fans started screaming and the reporters yelled questions, but he held up his hands to silence them as flashes flashed and video cameras recorded.

With his crystal velvety voice he said, "Oversoul is not over, and it will never be, but it almost was, because I screwed up. I've been screwing up now for the past four and a half years. I've been dishonoring my fans, my band, more importantly, my friends, and most importantly, my lover. I only have one lover, and I'm going to stay with him and only him, because he is the most significant thing in my life, even if I lost sight of that a long time ago. So Horohoro is going to be all right, because he needs to be, or else I can't sing, let alone live. All I want to say is that I love him more than fame and fortune and all that our band has brought us. And that's all I want to say, thank you, and go to bed."

Ren walked back inside to the sound of confusion, but he still felt terrible. Yoh once again put a reassuring hand on his shoulder and said, "He'll appreciate that… you're still going to be alright, Ren. Everyone gets side-tracked sometimes."

Faust grunted and sat back down. Searching for some comfort, Ren just walked the halls of the hospital all night. He never wanted it to happen this way, but perhaps it was the only way Ren could've gotten the point.