Chrisoriented- Good God! If you're gonna do that in every review, I forbid you from reviewing my stories! You have no idea how horrified I was when I read your review. I sat there staring with my mouth hanging open in horror for five minutes. Going, "OH MY GOD!" So, now I update and if you dare go psycho vampiric throat-slitter when you review this chapter, I'll bludgeon you.
PicoPicoZufuChan- They took off one of my stories before. Life goes on. Sorry. Anyway, I'm practically done with all my other stories, and I spent over 24 hours with Eclipse, and except for when we were sleeping (which we only did for five and a half hours... That's bad... Cuz she had me up at 2:00 talking about this story), this story is what we were talking about, and we have the entire thing planned and plotted, pretty much.
Robin Autumn- It worries me when people say they almost died laughing. Cuz then I think something like, "Well if they don't review the next chapter instantly, that means they might have died! AHHH! Hide me! I had nothing to do with it!" Anyhow, I update! Eth...
Hedi Dracona- Ahh, well you must keep your ass on your body, for someday you may regret losing it. (Um... I'm scared now...)
KumiHatari- Hmm... Find, yes... Oh yeah, they find them... Sort of... Ahem. Just read.
Bar-Ohki- Ahh... Welll... Ummm.... Not exactly... Random... Or evil... Or home... Yet... Maybe... Pet? Well... That's... Welll... Ummm... Heh heh heh... Can you tell where I'm going with this from the reply and the name of the chapter?
Nilkanowen- I don't read crossovers, usually, cuz most of the ones I've read are lame... (If you've written a crossover fic, I probably haven't read it! I usually don't get past the summary. So don't take offense, anyone!) I just write them and put the lame stories to shame! Muwaha!
Sweetflowerli- Well, I'm glad you liked it! I shall keep up my WONDERFUL authoring. I'm kidding. I like gloating to people who know me, but you people might take it the wrong way, like I'm saying I'm better than you, which I'm not.
C.C.C.- I've wanted to do an IYxYYH story for a while, but I couldn't really think of much plot, but this just kinda all put itself together when me and Eclipse started talking about it.
kiinu- Ummm... Cats don't talk... My dogs talk... But... Cats don't... Least, I've never met a talking cat... Well... Actually... Eclipse's cat communicates with me, just not through audible English words... I don't have a cat. I have dogs and rabbits and fish. I'm gonna get another hamster, too. They all talk to me. I can talk to any animal. I'M THE NEXT PET PSYCHIC! I've only ever met one animal that really hated me, and that was a cat. Stupid cat.
Rei Jaganshi- DON'T YOU DARE DIE! I need to know how your stories end! Speaking of which, I need to go read... I think you posted a new chapter of one... But if you die, I'll have Kuwabara do CPR on you. You wouldn't like that, would you? So don't die! Oh, and if I don't update, who will the "something terrible" happen to? Me? Hiei? You? Innocent bystanders? Inuyasha?
xkuroxshinobix- Yes, master! ...Or not. Anyway, here ya go!
CHAPTER TWO
Fluffy!
"We'll spend the night here, then tomorrow we'll find Shadow and Eclipse if they don't come back tonight and we'll go home," Kurama said. "Sound like a plan?"
"We could just leave those two idiots here," Hiei said, his hands behind his head as he lay in the grass staring up at the stars.
"No! God no!" InuYasha said quickly. "Maybe Miroku would like that, but I wouldn't!"
"They wouldn't bother you... Just give them something shiny and they'll be content for hours..." Hiei said.
"They're like some kind of dog..." Yusuke said. InuYasha glared. "No offense, of course!"
InuYasha, however, was suddenly distracted. He stood up abruptly.
"We have company," he said. Then, upon spotting their company, he spat. "Sesshoumaru!"
"Hello, dear brother," the demon said, walking across the clearing. Everybody was instantly on guard, except Hiei and Kurama, who only showed mild interest in the dog demon.
"Brother?" Hiei said, one eyebrow raised slightly. Sesshoumaru regarded Hiei with the same mild interest and slightly raised eyebrows.
"New friends?" he inquired lightly, looking at InuYasha with curiousity. "Demons, though, not more pathetic humans..."
"Well, the big stupid one's a human," Hiei said, sitting up, a piece of straw hanging out of one corner of his mouth (Shadow's got him hooked on toothpicks... But he didn't bring any with him. They're addictive. Muwaha!). "But I'm a demon. I'm assuming you're not on friendly terms with your brother here?"
"Half brother," InuYasha corrected.
"Whatever," Hiei said, brushing him off. InuYasha glared, not sure whether to glare at Hiei or Sesshoumaru.
"Well I'm proud of you, InuYasha," Sesshoumaru said sarcastically. "The company you keep has improved just slightly."
"What do you want, Sesshoumaru?" InuYasha snapped.
"I just wanted to check in on my little brother," the demon said with mock-innocence. "And the demons I sensed around him."
Hiei snorted. "Don't you feel loved, InuYasha. He's more interested in us than you."
"That's probably a good thing," Kurama said. "Sibling rivalries are usually worse than sworn enemies."
"So who are you?" Sesshoumaru asked. Hiei stood up and was about to answer when a strange noise echoed out of the forest.
"Hut... hut..."
It sounded like it was coming from all around them.
"Hut hut hut hut hut!" it said. Kuwabara looked terrified.
"We're surrounded! What sort of creature makes that noise?"
"Hut hut hut hut!"
"I don't sense any evil," Miroku said.
"And I don't scent any demons. Other than those ones," InuYasha said, waving his hand in the general direction of Hiei, Kurama, and Sesshoumaru.
The 'scary' noise continued for a few moments more while ten people and a two-tailed cat demon stood in silence, looking all around them, before suddenly it stopped and centralized to two points on either side of the clearing and slowed down. They suddenly recognized two familiar voices. Realization flooded everybody (except Sesshoumaru) at the same time and as one they slapped their foreheads with the palms of their hands.
"Oh God..." they said in unison.
Two girls dressed in black, wearing sunglasses, came somersaulting out of the forest on opposite sides of the group of nine (and a two-tailed cat demon). They stopped, ending up on one knee holding their finger-guns with two hands as they searched the clearing. They suddenly spotted each other, aimed, shot, and dropped dead in perfect unison, like mirror images. Sesshoumaru stared, not quite sure how to react.
Suddenly, both rolled over and stood up, saluted to each other, then spun (in unison, mind you) and saluted to Hiei, then Kurama, then InuYasha, then Miroku, then spun on their heels again to salute Sesshoumaru (even though they never met him before in their lives). They went to salute him and froze, stared, then simultaneously screamed, "FLUFFY!" and flew towards him, tackling him with hugs before he could get his brain to react over the initial shock of their insanity and draw his sword.
InuYasha stared, sweatdropping, his eye twitching, his entire face twitching, actually.
"Oh God. They're dead..."
Eclipse bent down and grabbed Sesshoumaru's legs and swung them up, knocking him over. Shadow caught his shoulders before he hit the ground and they lifted him above their heads. They flashed identical evil grins at the rest of the mob, saying, "Fluffy..." with an evil tone, then promptly carted him towards the forest.
"Or... not..." InuYasha muttered. "...Fluffy?!"
Sesshoumaru finally managed to gain control of his brain, however, before they got him to the forest.
"Let go of me!" he snapped, struggling.
"MY FLUFFY!" Shadow yelled. However, 'Fluffy' managed to roll to one side and knock both girls off balance. They fell over and he went face first into the ground. Instantly he pushed himself to his hands and knees and glared.
"You'll regret that..." he snarled, standing. Hiei darted over and put his arms in front of the girls, smiling innocently with a sweatdrop.
"No they won't, they're very sorry, and they'll never do it again!" he said.
"FLUFFY!" Shadow and Eclipse screeched, lunging but getting caught by Hiei's arm around their stomachs. They strained against him, arms outstretched towards Sesshoumaru. The dog-demon reached for his sword.
"No!" Hiei said, lunging to stop him and in the process releasing Shadow and Eclipse, who quickly made sure he did not draw his sword.
Shadow grabbed his spiked armor, pushed herself up, stepped on the armor, and sat on his head (why does she do that...?). Eclipse stared in awe for a second, then copied her and sat on her head.
Well, poor Sesshoumaru had suddenly ended up with something like 200 pounds sitting on his head. Poor him. He went horribly off-balance and fell, sending both girls rolling across the clearing. They promptly crashed into Kurama and Miroku, nearly knocking them to the ground as well. Sesshoumaru was quickly on his feet and struggling with Hiei to get his sword drawn.
"Let me kill them!" Sesshoumaru was growling, straining as Hiei held his arms in a lock from behind. He started dragging the little fire demon behind him as he made his way towards the two psycho girls, his eyes lit up red.
"Fluffy approaches!" Shadow squealed, jumping up from where she'd ended up at Miroku's feet. "He looks unhappy."
"That's the biggest understatement any creature has ever said..." Miroku muttered, oblivious Shadow had been lying at his feet.
"I think it's even worse than that," Sango said.
"How are they still alive?" Shippou asked.
"They're gonna die," InuYasha said matter-of-factly, shrugging. "It's inevitable."
"Fluffy looks unhappy, Fluffy looks unhappy!" Shadow sang, skipping around him with a basket of pink flower petals, which she was throwing on Sesshie and Hiei as she skipped around them. Eclipse followed, singing background vocals and throwing confetti and streamers at them.
"GET THEM AWAY FROM ME! Let go of me!" Sesshoumaru snapped, struggling against Hiei.
"Help! Kurama!" Hiei yelped. However, Sesshoumaru broke away from Hiei's arm lock and lunged at Shadow. She vanished. Sesshoumaru spun around and made to lunge for Eclipse and found Shadow right in front of him. She startled him and he stumbled backwards.
InuYasha smirked. "This is actually kinda funny."
"It's rather unbelievable," Miroku said. "These two... lunatics... managing to survive Sesshoumaru uninjured longer than even InuYasha ever did..."
"Hey! Just shut up, Miroku! If he could draw his sword they'd be dead in a second!"
"The thing is, he can't draw his sword..."
"Get away from me!" Sesshoumaru was saying, starting to get a whiney, horrified, tortured tone to his voice. Shadow was hugging him and nuzzling her head against that fluffy thing on his shoulder.
"Fluffy..."
"Help?" Sesshoumaru said pathetically, looking at Hiei.
"Hey, man, I'm not getting involved with this. She's your problem now," he said, holding his hands up then putting them in his pockets with a 'hn' smirk.
"Wait... Did Sesshoumaru just ask for help?" Kagome said.
"Get off me!" Sesshoumaru whimpered, trying to pry Shadow off him. "Get off! Off!"
Eclipse was sitting nearby watching innocently with a bowl of popcorn (where'd she get that?!). Yusuke and Kuwabara wandered over and sat on either side of her, stealing some popcorn and watching with the same innocent interest.
"Um... I know you hate your brother and everything, but isn't there some stuff about 'deep down you really care about him' or something?" Kurama said to InuYasha. "This could be a life or death situation..."
"If those two girls can kill my brother, then he's weak and he deserves it. Besides, this is hilarious!" InuYasha said, smiling widely.
"But..."
"InuYasha, I do kinda feel bad for him..." Kagome said. "Sure he's horrible and everything, but..."
"Look at it this way, Kagome: If they were torturing me, would Sesshoumaru help me?"
"... Oh yeah. That's a good point..." she said.
Eclipse suddenly froze, staring, a piece of popcorn halfway to her mouth. Suddenly she squealed, "SHINYYYYY!" and jumped up, flinging the bowl of popcorn and running to Sesshoumaru to hug him.
"Get off me!" the demon said, trying to walk away. Shadow was holding onto him so tight that it was amazing he could still breathe. Then with the added weight Eclipse put on by latching on and hugging him made it even worse, but he kept trying to get away. Shadow slid down and clung to his leg, her arms and legs wrapped around his leg and her head nuzzled against his knee. Finally, he stopped and just stood there, shoulders slumped, looking horribly pathetic, and let out a whimper, practically a sob. Everybody stared for a minute before simultaneously bursting out laughing.
"IT'S NOT FUNNY!" he screamed.
"Oh dear God, yes it is," InuYasha said, lying on the ground from laughing so hard.
"There's no helping you now," Hiei said. "They might as well be handcuffed to you..."
Shadow and Eclipse's heads snapped up and they looked at Hiei with 'Oh my God that is such a good freaking idea!' looks, and a second later, they were handcuffed to Sesshoumaru, Shadow on his left, Eclipse on his right.
"Oh... My... God..." InuYasha said, trying not to laugh. He failed horribly and went into gales of laughter, rolling around on the ground holding his sides.
"What are these?!" Sesshoumaru asked, looking at his wrists in a horrified sort of way.
"Those are handcuffs, and unless you have the key, you're not getting them off anytime soon," Hiei said, smiling. Shadow held up the key.
"See key?" She stuffed it down her shirt. "No see key!"
Sesshoumaru let out another whimper. "I have better things to do than hang around with you people! Get these off me right now," he ordered.
"Sleepy time!" Shadow chirped, going totally limp and falling to the ground, pulling Sesshoumaru off balance and slamming him into the ground next to her, and this, in turn, dragged Eclipse to the ground, but she fell with a happy squeal and landed on her head.
"You've got to be kidding me," InuYasha said, suddenly not so happy anymore. "You mean as long as those two are here, so's he?"
"Looks that way," Hiei said dryly, returning to the flatted grass he'd been lying in before the entire incident. Out of all of them, he was least phazed by it all.
"I really pity you," Kurama said, looking down at Sesshoumaru and the two girls sprawled in the grass snoring (already) next to him.
"Gee, thanks... That's doing me a lot of good," the dog demon muttered, staring up at him. Kurama blinked, then walked away to flop down in his bed of grass.
"Well, good night, Fluffy," InuYasha taunted from across the clearing. Sesshoumaru snarled. InuYasha chuckled before jumping up into a tree.
Everybody got themselves bedded down. Hiei decided he'd rather sleep in a tree and jumped up and vanished into the branches of a nearby perty green tree.
. . .
The next morning, Hiei, Kurama, Yusuke, and Kuwabara went to the well while Shadow and Eclipse were sleeping. Sesshoumaru, however, was not asleep, and was instead sitting there looking thoroughly tortured. He obviously hadn't slept all night.
By the time the four boys got back, everybody else was awake (well, other than the two psycho girls, who sleep like bricks and tend to hibernate unless you say the magic words) and Kagome was making some breakfast.
"You guys leaving?" InuYasha asked. Kurama looked slightly troubled.
"No."
"Why not?"
"We have a lot of trouble with time travel at home," Hiei said. "Anybody who travels through time, intentionally or accidentally, ends up on my front porch, and, since I live with Shadow, I have no say in whether they stay with us or don't. They always stay with us." Hiei paused. "So Koenma sealed it..." (A/N: In the Wolf's Rain crossover, I think he said he would cuz he was sick of time traveling mistakes, well he sealed it so they couldn't get IN to the present, but he never said he'd seal it so they couldn't get OUT. I left that loophole on purpose.)
"You live with her?" Sesshoumaru asked, staring at Shadow, then Hiei. "God. That's horrible."
Kurama looked at Sesshoumaru, then transformed into Youko and walked over to him. "I'll get those off you."
"How?"
"Pick the lock," Youko said simply, pulling a bit of twisted metal out of his pocket. He grabbed the handcuff attaching Sesshoumaru to Shadow and started picking at it with the lockpick.
"I've almost got it, I think," he said after a minute.
"Breakfast's ready!" Kagome said. Shadow and Eclipse's eyes snapped open and they stared up at the sky with huge smiles on their faces for a split second, long enough for Youko to whimper a little, "Uh-oh!"
"BREAKFAST?" they squealed, sitting up. Before Shadow lunged at Kagome, she spotting Youko, still holding the handcuff and the lockpick, frozen, caught in the act of trying to save poor Fluffy.
"YOU DARE TO ATTEMPT THEIVERY OF MY FLUFFY?!" she bellowed, standing up and towering over Youko, who was kneeling on the ground next to Sesshoumaru.
"I wasn't stealing him. God. I steal objects, not people," Youko said, pocketing his lockpick and backing away innocently.
Kagome dished everybody out some breakfast and they sat around watching innocently, eating their breakfast with chopsticks.
"Well then!" Shadow said, crossing her arms and jerking Sesshoumaru's hand up. He and Eclipse were still sitting on the ground. Poor Sesshoumaru was totally zoned out, busy dwelling in the prospect of how horrible this would be, and maybe how he could maybe possibly escape. However, he was suddenly jerked out of his trance as Shadow lunged at Youko, pulling him and Eclipse along with her as she bludgeoned the fox. Miroku watched, startled, his chopsticks halfway to his mouth.
"It's hard to believe she's dangerous with the way she's been acting..." he said.
"She's dangerous," Hiei said.
"Very dangerous," Yusuke added.
"I still have bruises," Kuwabara whined.
Finally, the cartoon dust cloud that Shadow and Youko had been in vanished, and they were slightly startled to see Shadow straddling Youko with her arms against his chest, getting right up in his face.
"And GUESS WHAT YOU GET! Since you're such a nice fox boy, I got you a PERTY COLLAR!" Shadow clipped a cloth collar around his neck. "And look what came with it!" She pulled a small control out of her back pocket and pushed a button. Youko yelped like an injured dog and Shadow jumped off him.
"Ow! Shadow, I felt that!" Eclipse whined. Shadow ignored her.
"I got you a PERTY SHOCK COLLAR!" she said cheerfully. Then she added coldly, "You mess with me, and I will fry you."
Youko whimpered and twitched his perky ears. "Sorry ma'am!"
"Yeah, you better be sorr-- FOOD!" Shadow shot over to Kagome and stole the big pot of food right off the fire and carted it off to a corner of the clearing. She set it down and stared at her arms. They were red from the heat of the metal pot. She stared at them for a while, then slowly looked up at Youko.
"You made me burn myself," she said coldly, her eyes narrowed.
"No I-- Aaaaaack!"
Too late. Shadow had shocked him. He clawed at it.
"Don't touch! I'll put POST-IT NOTES ON YOU!"
"Post-it notes...?"
"You know, those thingymajiggers with the words on them...? Those doohickies that keep you from doing stuff?"
"Wards?" Hiei said.
"WARDEN, SHMOREDEN!" Shadow said, crossing her arms. "They're Post-it notes!" She blinked suddenly and looked to her right and gasped. "SESSHIE!!!"
Sesshoumaru groaned. Shadow plopped down in front of the pot of ramen and pulled out some chopsticks. Eclipse squealed and sat across from Shadow, pulling out her own chopsticks.
"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!" they sang, inhaling it. The pot was nearly empty when Shadow stared at Sesshoumaru with puffed out cheeks and noodles hanging out of her mouth.
"Oo unt fum?"
The demon looked at her with disgust. "Speak a language I'll understand," he said. Shadow swallowed.
"FLUFFY EAT!" She held some noodles in front of his face with her chopsticks.
"Get away!" he said, pushing her hand away.
"Fluffy eat?" Eclipse asked, holding noodles up in front of him with her chopsticks.
"No," Sesshoumaru said. "Get away from me."
"We can't!" they said in unison, holding up their chained wrists. "You chained yourself to us, remember?"
"Me?! I didn't do it! I wouldn't chain myself to you if it would save my life!"
"But you DID! And now we can't get away!" Shadow continued eating happily, oblivious Hiei was standing behind her. He bent down and tapped her on the shoulder.
"What if somebody else wanted more?"
"NOBODY ELSE EATS UNTIL FLUFFY DOES!" Shadow said, her mouth full therefore spitting noodles at Hiei. He looked horribly disgusted and punched Shadow in the head.
"Bakayarou..." He walked back to the rest of them to report that they were going to starve if Shadow had any say in it and if Sesshoumaru wouldn't eat.
"So what're we gonna do?" Yusuke asked. "We can't get home, and we have no extra clothes or food or anything..."
"And Shadow and Eclipse found a new victim," Hiei said. "They don't wanna leave."
"RAMEN ALL GONE!" Shadow said, throwing the pot at Youko. He ducked and it slammed into InuYasha's head.
"Ow..."
"That's the first good thing you've done since I met you," Sesshoumaru said.
"COMPLIMENTE!" Shadow squealed. "Gracias, gracias!" She hugged him.
"Get off me..." he whimpered.
"Well then, Kagome, where's the next jewel shard?" InuYasha asked, snickering at his older brother's misfortune. Kagome concentrated for a moment, then pointed.
"I sense a lot in that direction! They're far away, though."
"That direction?" InuYasha said, looking.
"West?" Miroku said. (A/N: Eclipse says Sesshoumaru is 'lord of the western lands or something like that' but she's not sure, she says. For this, we'll say he is, in case he isn't. And on a side note, Jaken has gone on medical leave because of some injuries he sustained from a run-in with an angry weasel. He may or may not be back.)
"West?" Sesshoumaru said. "I'm not going."
"Well you aren't if they aren't," InuYasha said, pointing to the girls on either side of him.
"WE'RE GOING! Where are we going?" Eclipse asked.
"WEST!" Shadow said, thrusting her fist into the air.
"O-KAY!" Eclipse cheered.
"But what if we aren't going?" Hiei asked. "Would you still go then?"
"YES!" Eclipse shouted.
"Why wouldn't you go?" Shadow asked, more to herself than Hiei.
"WE'RE GOING!" Eclipse said, oblivious.
"I mean, these people have been nice to us and they don't hate us and we're friends now! So why wouldn't we want to journey forth and do whatever the hell they're doing with them?" Shadow said.
"I have some reasons," Sesshoumaru growled.
"Let's hear them!" Eclipse and Shadow said in unison, cheerfully.
"First, because I refuse to go anywhere with InuYasha," the demon said.
"That's not very nice," Shadow muttered quietly, being ignored.
"Second, because I will not go anywhere with you two idiots chained to my arms..."
"Idiots?! We are not!" they protested, being ignored once again.
"And third, because I am Lord of the Western Lands and those fools aren't allowed to go there and so therefore... Nobody's going."
"If you don't hurry up we'll leave you behind!" InuYasha called, already at the opposite edge of the clearing, following the rest into the woods. "Come along, dear brother!"
Shadow and Eclipse squealed, jumping up and running to catch up with the group. "Don't leave us! Come on, Fluffy!"
................................................
Well, I wrote this chapter at Eclipse's house as well as the first, but now I'm home... And I'm leaving on a sorta vacation tomorrow so I won't probably be back until Tuesday. Except a new chapter Wednesday if you're lucky. I'm also working on the final chapter of Work Sucks. That might be up Wednesday as well... For those of you yelling at me about Violent Debate being over, sorry, but DEAL WITH IT! Heh heh. Youko Jaganshi is probably gonna be updated after the rest... And it might be the last chapter of that, too. I know, you're mad now, aren't you. DEAL.
Incidentally, can you tell this is kinda gonna be a Sesshie-based fic...?