I HAVE 23 REVIEWS TO REPLY TO! Gad. Happy I got so many, though. Maybe I just shouldn't reply. What do you think about that? Well it doesn't matter what you think! I'm replying whether you like it or not!
Hedi Dracona- Well, that pretty much sums it up, yes.
Robin Autumn- Heh heh... I also call him Sesshie... But that's not as bad as Fluffy.
Katana-Jake- Glad you like it.
xkuroxshinobix- Okay, okay. Jeez. I update! Wooop!
Draikitha- Rin went poof. Thank you for clearing that thing up about the Lord of the West stuff... Or whatever... And... What did you mean by 'more than Shadow and Eclipse'? I'm having bad thoughts.
Saeble- I doubt I'll get writer's block on this story... And if I do, Eclipse will have ideas. And... My Weasel Minions of Doom will conquer your friend's army of chipmunks!
Shessha's Crazy- GOD, WHY DO PEOPLE ALWAYS DIE ON ME? If you ever die again, I'll kill you!
Chrisoriented- If you come to my house... I'll... uh... Sick my sister on you. Believe me, she's scary. She's got natural fangs. So do I, but hers are worse.
Water-Rose- ...Prequel? No, there wasn't a prequel... Why would you think that? Yeah... I have a feeling Sesshoumaru is pretty much dubbed "Poor Fluffy" from chapter two until the end of the story... Cuz a... Well, I don't wanna give it away... Muwahahaha... READ ON!
moogleboy64- Yes, in thinking up this story me and Eclipse thought of that, and we just decided they'd had their memories wiped or something and maybe none of the readers would remember that, but obviously that wasn't so...
Amber-Immortal- Because I said so! Grr! You people think of everything, don't you! Well so do I! And if he changed into his demon form, that would complicate the story! Grr! My mighty authoressness calls for OOC-ness, and OOC-ness I receive! Maha!
Rei Jaganshi- Ahm... Ooooo-kayyy... I'm scared now.
Kaoru-the-kitsune- Well he became mine for a period of time while I write this story, and let me tell you, HE'S A LOT SAFER WITH ME THAN HE WOULD BE IF I LET HIM OUT INTO THE FANGIRL MOB SURROUNDING MY HOUSE! After I finish this story, though... He's not mine... And... (Angry lawyers insist he's not mine to start with)...
Okami Youkai- Muwaha. Well she'll find out when she gets back. And LET GO OF MY SESSHIE!
kiinu- ::counting on her fingers, looking confused:: But cows are made of rubber! How else would they jump over the moon?
Nilkanowen- Muwaha. I'm so evil, are I not...?
C.C.C.- It doesn't suck to be me cuz I UPDATED WEDNESDAY! So ha.
feudalfairyfan4ever- Oh yeah? Well cheese will someday rule your hometown, and THEN you'll regret what you've said! Muwahahahahahahahaha! When I'm the only one who can save you! Muwaha! Ahem. Anyway... Fluffy is temporarily in my possession while I write this story. He's being treated well. And when I finish this story and free him, you can be one of the many who tackles him the second he steps out the door...
inu-freak1116- That describes me pretty well too...
Dark Renegade- Maha! Glad you liked it. :D
Black Cat- ::carts Sesshie off instantly, looking around with narrowed eyes:: My Sesshie! Hiss!
Bar-Ohki- Good, then you wait no longer! Here is next bit of insanity! (scroll down!)
kaida13- There's a story behind the post-it notes. Eclipse was trying to think of what they were called, she said something like, "You know, those little pieces of paper, like..." And I'm just sitting there petting her cat and I'm like, "Post-it Notes?" Cuz I was unaware she was talking about anything that had anything to do with InuYasha. Then she elaborated and I got that she was talking about wards/talismans, but I still call them POST-IT NOTES! I know, when you think of them that way they aren't scary, are they... And no, only one other person confirmed that so I'm glad you decided to cuz if she hadn't and you hadn't I wouldn't have known.
CHAPTER THREE
Pink Bunny Rabbits
"On the road again! Just can't wait to get on the road again!" two girls sang, parading down a forest path. Sesshoumaru groaned.
"We've been 'on the road' for over an hour and you have been singing that song THE ENTIRE TIME! Couldn't you sing something new? Or here's an idea: JUST SHUT UP ENTIRELY!" he snapped.
"No, no, no, no, no, no, NO!" they sang, switching off between 'no's.
Sesshoumaru tugged at his handcuffs. "Let me go!"
Shadow and Eclipse started singing Bohemian Rhapsody (A/N: by Queen. There's this part about three minutes into the song... I was listening to it while writing this... I think). Sesshoumaru's eye twitched and he walked on in silence, desperately trying to keep his anger under control.
While the two girls paraded along cheerfully, practically dragging the unwilling Sesshoumaru, the other ten travelers hung back.
"This is really odd," Miroku said. "Last time we had a run-in with Sesshoumaru, he tried to kill us all..."
"Now he's letting those two girls just lead him around..." Kagome added.
"Those 'two girls' happen to be psychotic half-demon murderous idiots with no regard for anything except their own happiness..." Hiei informed them.
"Yeah, and it's not like he can do much," Youko muttered. He'd decided to stay in his demon form since it seemed this group attracted a lot of fights, what with their Shikon Jewel shards and all.
"You have no idea the extent of my brother's power. I think he's just biding his time, then he'll try to kill us all," InuYasha said. Hiei snorted.
"Key word: try. Besides, if those two lunatics have any say, which they seem to have a lot of say at the moment, Sesshoumaru's not going anywhere until they decide he can. Shadow and Eclipse are totally in control: They're chained to him, the only key is in Shadow's bra, and we're all either too cruel, too scared, or enjoying this too much to help him."
"True," everyone else agreed.
"Scared of who, though? Them or him?" Miroku asked.
"Them!" Yusuke said. "God! Why would we be afraid of some guy who lets himself be called Fluffy?"
"Because he's scary," Shippou said.
"And like I said, it's not like he can do much to stop them from calling him Fluffy," Hiei pointed out. "They're in control."
"Oh yeah."
"I'm hungry," Shadow said, stopping abruptly.
"Me too," Eclipse agreed, also stopping.
"You two ate enough to feed all of us twice! Sesshoumaru didn't eat anything at all! If anyone should be hungry--"
"Shutup, Fox!" Shadow snapped, pointing the shocker at Youko and pushing the button. He twitched and glared at Shadow.
"Ow! Evil demon psycho girl!" Youko snapped. "Don't do that again."
"We've been working a lot harder than any of you people, burning our energy to restrain this wild, insane, bloodthirsty, murderous beast!" Shadow snapped, pointing at Sesshoumaru. Everybody stared at him.
"Doesn't seem to wild to me..." Kuwabara said.
"Yeah, he seems pretty harmless, letting you lead him around like a tamed dog. Are you sure he's bloodthirsty?" Yusuke asked.
"Just look at him, straining against his restraints! He's trying so hard to escape and kill you all!" Eclipse said.
They all stared at Sesshoumaru again. He stared back, standing dead still and looking bored.
"Strain, stupid!" Shadow hissed, hitting him on the arm.
"Hey!" he said, jumping from surprise.
"Look! See? He's dangerous! We're doing you all a lot of good, saving you from this deadly, horrible, hideous creature!" Eclipse said.
"Yeah, really!" Shadow agreed without thinking. She blinked, then looked up at Sesshoumaru.
"I don't think he's really very hideous... He's kinda hot, y'know?" she said.
Hiei and Youko groaned, hitting themselves in the forehead. Eclipse kicked her.
"Stupid! Don't get sidetracked!"
"Oh yeah! So we've been restraining this deadly beast of immense strength! If you don't give us food, we cannot guarantee your safety when we leave to hunt our own!" Shadow declared.
"So... If we don't give you food, you'll leave?" InuYasha asked hopefully.
"Yes! But do not fear, we shall return!"
"Damn."
"So you will not feed your protectors?" Eclipse asked in a high-and-mighty tone.
"No. Get lost. We have limited supplies as it is," Inuyasha said.
"Okay!" they said in unison, losing their high-and-mighty tones and reverting back to their normal cheerful selves. They grabbed the two nearest people and switched the cuffs from their own wrists to the two nearest peopleses wrists.
"Keep him with you guys, will you?" Shadow asked, her undertone obviously an order instead of asking a favor. She and Eclipse then darted into the forest.
"HEY! GET BACK HERE AND GET THIS OFF ME!" Sango yelled. Youko, the second 'nearest people,' just stared at his wrist.
"Crap," he said flatly.
Shadow came flying back out of the forest and stopped in front of Sango.
"Sorry 'bout that, Boomerang Girl!" she said, grabbing Hiei as a replacement for Sango. After switching them, she ran away again.
"Should we wait for them?" Kagome asked.
"I doubt they'll be back for hours," Hiei said. "We should get as far as we can without them driving us nuts."
"I agree. We don't have time to lounge around," Inuyasha said. "Let's go."
"So you're dragging me around now even though they left?!" Sesshoumaru asked.
"We can't do much," Hiei said. "How many times do I have to tell you that? Look at what happened to Youko when he tried to help!"
"Exactly," InuYasha said, walking past. He stopped and turned to face his brother. "Believe me, if we could do something, I would. I'd get rid of you as fast as I could. You know I hate you."
"The feeling is mutual," Sesshoumaru said dryly, looking down at his brother through the corner of his eye. InuYasha glared.
"Brotherly love is wonderful," Miroku said fake-cheerfully. "Let's go." He grabbed Inuyasha and dragged him down the path by his collar.
Around nightfall, with no sign of the two baka girls, the group came across a village.
"Would it be wise to spend the night here?" Miroku asked. "I mean, we do have three full-blooded demons in our midst..."
"I could take my human form... Then Inuyasha is the only one that actually looks like a demon," Youko said.
"Sometimes people can tell by means other than looks," Sango said.
"Well yes, but..."
"I think it's worth the risk, don't you?" Kagome said. "We've been to villages before and most people ignored your demon features, right? So who's to say it'll be any different this time?"
"Besides, it's not like we're gonna hurt anyone," Shippou said. "Come on!"
"We can't just stand here debating it forever. It's getting dark and we need somewhere to stay... Unless we're gonna sleep on the ground when there's a village another ten minutes' walk..." Yusuke said.
"What about Shadow and Eclipse?" Miroku asked, worry in his voice.
"Who cares about them? I hope they fell off a cliff," Sesshoumaru said bitterly.
"It wouldn't kill 'em... Unless there was sharp rocks or a tribe of starved cannibalistic demons at the bottom..." Hiei said.
"Are those girls immortal or something?" Inuyasha asked.
"Hardly," the now red-haired Kurama said. "They're just smart, fast, strong, and totally retarded and they don't know what 'shame' or 'regret' mean."
"How are they smart and retardted at the same time?" Shippou asked.
"They just are," Kurama said mysteriously. "It's magic."
"Let's go," Miroku said, leading the way into the village.
Upon arriving, they found the village deserted.
"There's no one here," Shippou stated the obvious. "Where could they all be?"
"They're preparing for the sacrifice," came a voice from behind them. The stranger walked around to stand in front of them.
"Sacrifice?!" Shippou yelped.
"What are they sacrificing?" Hiei asked.
"Every full moon, the people of this village journey to the shrine on the hill and sacrifice a virgin to a tribe of demons to keep them from attacking this place. Usually they have to kidnap one. However, earlier today, a couple young virgins wandered into the village on their own."
"Oh... Shit," Hiei said quietly, eyes wide. "What did they look like? Did you see them?"
"Wouldn't it be logical to ask if I saw them before asking what--"
"Shut up! Did you or did you not?" Hiei snapped.
"Yeah, I saw 'em. They were about your height, one with black hair, one with brown, cheerful, pretty little things, innocent as a baby. They wore strange clothes..."
"God, those idiots..." Hiei growled.
"You knew them?"
"We know them. It's a present-tense kind of thing," Hiei said.
"I wouldn't be so sure..."
"Where's the shrine?" Yusuke asked coldly.
"There's no point in trying to save them... They might already be gone."
"Fine, I'll find it myself," Hiei snapped, ripping the bandana from his forehead.
"Stupid girls," Inuyasha snapped. "They go get themselves in trouble. Idiots. I'm sick of saving people I barely know..."
"Inuyasha!" Kagoma snapped.
"Um... What's that?" the stranger asked, pointing to Hiei's Jagan.
"It's an eye," Sesshoumaru answered. "What does it look like, fool?"
"Are you demons?"
"Ah. There they are," Hiei said.
"The virgin sacrifice is supposed to keep demons out of the village!" the stranger was saying, horrified.
"It's North," Hiei was saying, ignoring the man. "Let's go." He darted off, nearly jerking Sesshoumaru's arm off with his sudden speed.
They arrived at the shrine just as the villagers were tying Shadow and Eclipse to a large pole on an elevated platform.
"Great demons, we have brought you the virgins!" the man who'd tied them called to the sky. Storm clouds flooded in and blocked out the moon and the stars.
"Come on," Hiei said, pushing through the people to reach the front of the crowd.
Four extremely large and ugly demons appeared on the platform, surrounding the two girls.
"Lovely," one said, baring large fangs. "You've out done yourselves."
"Do you eat virgins?" Shadow asked, showing no fear of them.
"Well, they aren't virgins by the time we eat them..." a second demon said.
"Well, that's horrible, but I do have some good news! I just saved loads of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico!" Shadow said cheerfully.
"What?"
"Sorry, I meant to tell you I'm not a virgin now..."
The demons sniffed at them.
"Yes you are."
"No I'm not," Shadow denied in a British accent. "Ask Hiei!"
"Who's Hiei?"
The little demon himself tapped the big ugly demon the shoulder. It spun around and looked down at Hiei.
"I'm Hiei," he informed the demon. Then he punched it in the face.
"Hey!" the other demons said. The villagers all looked hopeful, yet horrified. After all, if Hiei managed to kill these four, no more virgin sacrifices, but if he didn't kill them, the villagers would be punished for it.
While this was being explained to you, Hiei, Sesshoumaru, and Kurama slaughtered all four demons and cut Shadow and Eclipse loose.
"Sesshie!" Shadow squealed instantly, lunging at him and coming a foot short, sliding that extra foot on her stomach and latching onto his leg. Eclipse climbed up and sat on his head, causing him to be top-heavy and fall on top of Shadow, pulling Hiei and Kurama down with him and they all landed in a big tangled pile of arms and legs. Inuyasha and the others just stared.
"Any second now, he's going to explode and kill all of them..."
. . .
"We went from being sacrifices to being treated to a feast!" Shadow said cheerfully, lying on her back.
"Yeah. Well it would have been a feast if you hadn't eaten it all," Eclipse said bitterly, narrowing her eyes at Shadow.
"I ate it all? You're the one who had about ten pounds of rice! Pig! You think I ate it all? Cha! As if!"
"We all had plenty," Kagome said firmly, trying to shut them up.
"Yeah, now we're gonna get run out for eating all their food," Yusuke said.
"Not now," Shadow said sleepily. "Too tired..." She was asleep almost instantly, snoring.
"Ummm... We're not sleeping here... We have rooms..." Miroku said.
Shadow opened one eye. "We do?"
"Yeah."
"Where at?"
"This kind man will show you... But... Are you sleeping chained to Sesshoumaru?"
"We did last night, we will tonight. Unless you want to," Shadow said, sitting up.
"No, that's quite alright! I wouldn't be able to sleep, and I have a feeling he wouldn't either."
"You think I sleep any better chained to these two snoring rocks?" Sesshoumaru snapped as he was dragged out of the room.
"They're too stupid to fear for their lives," Youko said, sipping sake.
"We've become aware of that," Inuyasha said dryly.
"I'm going to bed," Yusuke said, getting up. "G'night, all."
One by one, everyone drifted off to their rooms.
. . .
"I can't wake them up," Sesshoumaru said, not seeming too greatly concerned with it. InuYasha and Miroku stood in the doorway, looking at the sleeping girls.
"Let me try," the monk said. He walked forward and shook Shadow by the shoulder. "Wake up, Shadow. Hey, come on, wake up! We have to get going."
"That's not going to--" Sesshoumaru started, but he was cut off as Shadow sat bolt upright, holding Miroku's wrist in a death grip in front of his face.
"Do you find it necessary to keep touching my butt while you try to wake me up?" she asked. He laughed nervously. Inuyasha groaned.
"STOP HITTING ON EVERY GIRL YOU SEE!"
"I don't hit on every girl!" the monk denied. Shadow squeezed his wrist. "Ow! I have good reason though for the ones I do!"
"Uh-huh, I bet. That's strike one, Mir-o-ku," she said, putting emphasis on his name. Then she let go of his wrist. "Eclipse, breakfast!"
"WHERE?!" the other girl screamed, jumping up so fast everyone else jumped back a foot (except for Shadow, who'd expected it).
"If you want breakfast, you're gonna have to hunt it down with us. The villagers are grateful that the demons were killed but they're pissed that you ate all their food," Inuyasha said.
"We have to hunt our food? Are you serious?" Eclipse asked.
"Yes. I'm serious," Inuyasha said.
"Kayo! We journey forth, then!" Shadow said, walking past Miroku and snapping her handcuff to his left, as he was facing her and now stood beside Sesshoumaru, their left arms chained together so they faced opposite directions.
"This won't work," Miroku said, looking at his wrist. Inuyasha stuck out his foot and tripped Shadow onto her face. She stood up and glared.
"What?!"
"Unchain Miroku," he said. "As annoying as he is, I think chaining him to my brother is a bit too drastic."
"What? Why? Fluffy's a nice guy," Shadow said innocently. Sesshoumaru's shoulders slumped. Inuyasha and Miroku burst out laughing.
"Stop laughing before I slaughter you both!" Sesshoumaru snapped. They tried desperately to stop laughing, but one look at Sesshoumaru put them in fits again. "Get this monk off me. Now."
"Yes sir," Shadow said, switching the cuff back to her own wrist. "Well, let's go get some breakfast! Where's Hiei?"
"We're eating Hiei for breakfast?!" Eclipse asked in horror. "I don't wanna eat Hiei! He's all mean and evil, he probably tastes like mud!"
"And how much mud have you eaten in your day?" Shadow asked.
"A lot more than you'd think."
"Gross! But no, we're not eating Hiei, and he's not mean and evil, or evil and mean, or mean or evil, while we're on the subject."
"What subject is it we're on again?" Eclipse asked, confused.
"Hiei's a big softie," Shadow said. "I bet if I gave him a stuffed pink bunny rabbit, he'd sleep with it like a little kid."
"... Somehow I can't see Hiei and a bunny rabbit in the same room, let alone a pink one..." Miroku said.
"WHO ASKED YOU?!" Shadow snapped. "MISTER GROPE! You keep your gropey touchy feely strokey hands to yourself or I'll tear 'em off!"
"I wasn't touching you!" Miroku yelped, holding up his hands.
"That's what you say... Maybe you weren't now, but you were thinking about it..." she retorted, crossing her arms.
"I'm hungry," Eclipse said suddenly.
"Okay, we're gonna find Hiei and--"
"And eat 'im?" Eclipse asked hopefully.
"Hopefully?! You ask hopefully when a second ago you thought it'd be gross!" Shadow snapped.
"Well that's before you told me he likes pink bunny rabbits."
"I never said he did, like as a fact, I just said--"
"HIIIIIIIIIIEIIIIII!" Eclipse called, skipping off and dragging Shadow and Sesshoumaru with her. Hiei pushed open the sliding door to his room, shirtless and squinting in the sunlight.
"Hiei, Shadow has just informed me that you like pink bunny rabbits. Can I--"
"I never said that," Shadow said quickly in reply to the glare Hiei shot her.
"YOU WOKE ME UP JUST TO TELL ME SOMEBODY TOLD YOU I LIKE PINK BUNNY RABBITS?!" he screamed. Shadow was flapping around like a rag doll at the end of Sesshoumaru's arm as he clung desperately to a post on the porch to keep from suffering her fate. "I HATE RABBITS, I HATE PINK, AND I HATE YOU!" He slammed his door. There was a thud that signalled he'd dropped back down to the floor to sleep a few more hours.
"Well, I think that settles it," Sesshoumaru said. "Let's get out of here before he decides to set us all on fire."
"I could set us all on fire, if you want," Shadow said, hanging limply at the end of Sesshoumaru's arm.
"I'd really rather you didn't. Can we go now? Someplace else? How about East, maybe?" the demon suggested.
"Why east?" Shadow asked, standing up.
"Because that's the opposite direction of the one we're headed in, and you're not allowed to go west anymore."
"Says who?"
"ME! I'M LORD OF THE WESTERN LANDS AND I SAY SO, SO JUST SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO ME!"
"I can't listen to you. I'm not the boss of this here circus," Shadow said. She pointed to Inuyasha. "Your loving younger brother who you care so much about is."
"I don't care about him. He could be hanging off a cliff by an extremely unstable tree root and be begging me to help him and I wouldn't even breath in his direction," Sesshoumaru said.
"You probably would have been the one who got me there in the first place," Inuyasha grumbled.
"My nose is itchy," Eclipse said, scratching her eyebrow.
"That's not your nose..." Miroku corrected.
"I know, but I hadn't said anything for a while and I decided I needed some attention, so I scratched my ear and told you my eye fell out and rolled across the ground."
"...Um ...You said nothing of the sort, did nothing of the sort, and even if it had, we wouldn't have cared anymore than if you had said a winged cheese wheel was going to conquer the South African country of Kentucky," Shadow said flatly.
"... Well now I'm confused!" Eclipse whined.
"So am I..." Shadow said. She spun and pointed to Miroku. "Get me food, lackey!"
"... I... er... I'm not your lackey, Sha--"
"YOU ARE NOW, CUZ I SAID SO!"
"... Are you going to ask me to let you bear my child?"
"Uhhh... I heard something about children, so I'm just gonna say no."
"Then I'm not your lackey. Sorry."
"Um... Eclipse, help me out. What are we talking about?"
"I dunno."
"Whatever you're talking about..." Hiei's door slammed open again. "Couldn't you find a more ideal place then outside my door?"
"What do you mean? This place is highly ideal! Look, there's us, and a floor, therefore we can stand here and talk if we feel--"
"NO. YOU. CAN'T!"
This time they were all sent spiralling through the air to slam into somebody else's door.
"Look, it doesn't matter anyway!" Inuyasha said. "We have to leave! The villagers are mad that a certain two girls ate all their food!"
"Oh. Well then let's go," Hiei said simply, bending down and picking up his shirt and sword from the floor.
"... He's got mood swings too, doesn't he?" Inuyasha asked.
"NO," Hiei snapped.
"Yeah. He's been around Shadow for two years or something," Eclipse said.
"Well we've been around Shadow for two days or something and look at us! We've been driven nuts, my brother's been tamed, th--"
"I'M NOT TAME!" Sesshoumaru snapped, hitting Inuyasha in the head.
"Ow!"
"Brotherly love! It's so... uh...," Miroku hesitated to continue as the brothers glared at him. "It's... um... lovely."
Shadow and Eclipse looked at each other as those two glared and both girls got identical smiles. They burst into song.
"COME ON, GET HAPPY!"
"Gods help us," Sesshoumaru whimpered.
"I'm gonna kill 'em," Inuyasha growled.
.................................................
I was gonna say something of some minor importance here but I FORGET! God. Five-second memory span, dammit. Oh yeah, the 'come on get happy' is a song I heard on an oldies station my dad had on in the car... He said it was the Partridge Family... God, it was a scary song. PERFECT FOR SHADOW AND ECLIPSE TO SING!
However, that's not what I had initially wanted to tell you, but I honestly can't remember, so foo on that.
ETU (Expected Time of Update): Umm... Friday/Saturday. I have a dentist appointment tomorrow, I'll prolly get sick and yack on them... They need it. They need to keep their hands out of my mouth before I bite 'em off.