Author's Notes: To everyone who noticed the upload mix-up: Thanks for
checking back! To everyone who didn't: It was weird, it's fixed, don't
worry about it. If you missed the chapter entirely and got here because
you noticed chapter 12 up, glad you found this!
That said, here's Chapter 11! (I hope)
Disclaimer: I own nothing other than the plot and a few original characters. All events through the end of Season 3 have occurred, but the only thing I'm borrowing from Season 4 is Rory's haircut. Any other similarities are purely coincidence. Chapter titles come from various Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers songs. I do not own those either.
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Chapter 11: I Will Recognize Your Face
Friday, August 13, 2004
Jess sighed and slouched further down in the chair he was sitting in. He tossed the battered book he wasn't reading onto the table in front of him and tilted his head back, closing his eyes against the glare of the sun. The sound of footsteps behind him caused him to reluctantly crack open an eye and squint up at the person standing over him.
"What are you doing here?" Jimmy asked. "I gave you the day off so you could get things ready for Rory."
"I've already cleaned every inch of the apartment three times," Jess said as he closed his eyes again. "I could clean it again, but it think that would start taking the finish off the sink."
Jimmy untied his apron and straddled the chair next to Jess. He looked up at the sun beating down from overhead. "That still doesn't explain why you're here. It'd be cooler waiting at home."
Jess sighed again. "I need a distraction. I'm afraid if I stay at home alone I'll throw up again."
"When did you throw up?" Jimmy wanted to know. Concerned, he reached out and laid a hand on Jess' forehead. "You feel warm."
"Of course I feel warm," Jess growled, batting Jimmy's hand away. "It's almost ninety degrees out here. I threw up this morning after I picked up Henry's car. I don't think I've ever been this nervous in my life."
"I'm sure it'll be fine," Jimmy said unconvincingly. "What time does Rory get in?"
"Four-fifteen."
"Jess, you can't sit out here for four hours. Go home, and try to relax."
Jess snorted, "Easy for you to say. You're not the one sitting around thinking of all the things that could happen this week. Besides, Diego and Warren are hammering out the fender on a Porsche. It sounds like a tone deaf marching band got lost down there."
"Then go over to the house," Jimmy suggested. "I'm sure Sasha and Lily can distract you."
"All Lily can talk about is how excited she is that Rory's coming," Jess reminded the older man. "And Sasha keeps asking me if I'm all right and if I need her to teach me some deep breathing techniques."
Jimmy shrugged, "Might not be a bad idea. Or not," he added quickly as Jess rolled his head and gave Jimmy and incredibly dark look. "I haven't seen you get this worked up over something since you first got here. What is it about this girl that twists you into knots?"
Jess blinked slowly, contemplating on whether or not to answer the question. He decided that there wasn't any thing he could say that would be as believable as the truth. "She made me care." He tipped his head back again to avoid looking at Jimmy as he continued. I'd pretty much stopped caring about anything when I was living with Liz. Then I get plopped down in the middle of damn Mayberry, and out of nowhere there's this beautiful intelligent girl who actually treats me like a person and not a pain in the ass, and it suddenly matters again what someone thinks of me. And that started to scare the shit out of me, and I didn't know what to do about it. That's how I ended up here, but . . ."
"It still matters what she thinks," Jimmy said quietly.
"Yeah," Jess agreed gruffly. "I don't wanna disappoint her again."
There was nothing Jimmy could say to that. He only nodded in understanding. "Then I guess I'll just leave you here with," he reached out and smoothed the creased cover of the paperback on the table, "Charles Dickens. Just don't get heatstroke, okay?"
"Chuck and I will stay hydrated," Jess promised glibly. He shut his eyes again as Jimmy left him alone, letting the sun war his face once more. Absentmindedly, he reached out and stroked the spine of the book on the table, remembering when things were easier. When it didn't matter what anyone thought of him. When all he needed was his own approval. When Dodger was just another character in a story.
**********
"There," Rory said with finality as she tugged the zipper on her suitcase all the way closed and clicked the little lock into place. She brushed her hands off and sat on the edge of the bed next to the bulging case. "All packed."
"And you didn't even need me to sit on it," Lane said from her perch in the chair in Rory's room. "So, why am I here again?" she asked.
"Because I freaked out this morning, and I needed you to talk me down," Rory reminded her.
Lane nodded, "Right, right. You know, in hindsight, yesterday's three hour 'songs with California in the title' medley might not have been a good idea."
"No," Rory shook her head, "that was fun. I think it was when Luke told me to say hi to Jess for him when I ran in for coffee this morning that set me off." She flopped back on the bed and groaned. "Why did I think this was a good idea?"
"Are you going to be sick again?" Lane asked, concerned for her friend.
"I don't think there's anything left in my stomach even if I were. I've never been so nervous it made me sick before, and I know I've said it a dozen times already, but thanks for the hair holding."
Lane waved off the comment. "Just returning the favor from my night of drunken revelations." She suddenly sat up straight, "Oh, did you know want to be reminded of that night? Was that a completely heartless thing to say?"
Rory sat up too, "It's fine. That was a long time ago, and Jess and I have talked about it. That's like fourth on the list of stuff I'm worried about right now."
"You have a list of stuff to worry about?" Lane leaned forward, eager for Rory to explain.
"I always have a list," Rory sighed. "In order of importance: what if Yale's changed me too much, and Jess thinks I'm a snob; what if Jess has changed too much, and once we're in the same room together we have absolutely nothing in common anymore; what if his family hates me once they get to know me; what if we end up getting into another argument about the way he left."
"That's quite the impressive list of worries to fit into a day," Lane told her.
"I'm nothing if not an overachiever."
"What time do you leave?"
Rory looked at the clock. "I've got to leave for the airport in two hours. Mom should be home soon to take me."
Lane sighed, "I wish I could come with you, but I promised Mama that I'd help her with inventory. Actually, I should probably go home now. You gonna be okay?" she asked, standing up."
"Yeah, I think so." Rory stood and gave Lane and hug. "Thanks for coming over."
"No problem. You'd do the same for me," Lane said. "Now, be safe, have fun, and if you see Brad Pitt try and get me a lock of hair."
Rory laughed, "One for you and one for Mom. I'll see you when I get home." She gave Lane one last hug and held a smile firmly in place until the other girl had disappeared down the driveway. Then Rory promptly marched back to her room, curled up on the bed, and started worrying about her number one worry, the one she'd left off her list. What if once she say Jess again it became impossible to ignore the possibility that she was still in love with him?
**********
It didn't take Jess very long to locate the place Rory would have to come through when she got off the plane despite he never having been in an airport before. He chose a spot along the wall opposite the security gate where he could see everyone coming through but still remain somewhat hidden in the crowd. All of the arrival/departure monitors festooning the airport indicated that Rory's flight was on-time, and if that remained true, Jess had about ten minutes to kill. He shoved his hands deep into his pockets and slouched against the wall, surveying the people around him. Among other things, there were people leaving or arriving on business trips, families on vacation, tearful good-byes between couples, and even more tearful reunions. Jess wished he were there for any one of those reasons; then he would know what to expect. But no, he was there to meet a girl he hadn't seen in over a year, a girl whose heart he'd trampled. He highly doubted he'd be on the receiving end of a tearful hug no matter how much he wanted to be. He could only admit to himself that he wanted nothing more than to sweep Rory up when she appeared, but the state of their relationship, no matter how friendly on the phone, was too uncertain for that to be a possibility. Sighing and kicking a heel against the wall behind him, Jess hoped that he would at least get more than the stiff handshakes exchanged between arriving business people and their rides.
Jess didn't realize how long he'd been lost in thought until a young girl's squeal of 'Daddy!' brought his attention back to the arrival gate. People were beginning to trickle through it at an increasing rate. A quick glance confirmed that Rory's flight had landed and these entering people were likely the first off of her plane. Straightening up, Jess watched the gate carefully. A few moments later Rory appeared, glancing around uncertainly. When her eyes passed in his direction, he raised a hand. His eyes locked with hers, and Jess drew a shaky breath when she smiled timidly, shifter her backpack, and began winding her way through the thickening crowd toward him. It was the moment they'd both been dreading and anticipating all day.
Rory stopped a few feet in front of him. "Hi," she said, forcing her earlier timid smile into a larger friendly one. She kept her hands wound tight around the shoulder straps of her backpack where they curved over her chest. The urge to touch him was too strong, and she wasn't sure how he would react if she tried.
"Hey," Jess returned, keeping his hands tucked firmly in his pockets for the same reasons that were running silently through Rory's head. "How was your flight?"
"Good," she nodded. She took a quick look around and became increasingly aware of the amount of hugging going on around them. Snapping her attention back to Jess, she asked, "Did you have any problems finding the gate?"
Jess shook his head. "Nope."
"Good," Rory repeated. Jess' eyes were heavy on her, and she couldn't help but fidget. She tucked her hair behind her ears even though it wasn't in any danger of falling into her face.
Rory's action brought Jess' attention to her face, and he allowed himself to really look at her for the first time in over a year. She looked almost exactly like he remembered, but there were some small changes he could see if he looked hard enough. The nervous fidgeting was an old habit, as was her trying to avoid his eyes directly, but she was holding herself a little more confidently than she used to, standing tall with her shoulders back. She wasn't trying to completely curl in and make herself less noticeable. Her hands came up to smooth a stray lock that wasn't straying at all, and Jess realized that it was his turn to speak again.
"You cut you hair," he said eventually as he watched the shorter strands brush softly against her cheek.
"You've been letting yours grow," she returned and smiled as he tried to reorder the unruly mop of thick dark waves that covered the tops of his ears and fell over his forehead. When he scowled at her mirth, she reached up and smoothed his cowlick herself.
They both shivered at her touch. Rory finally looked directly into his eyes for the first time since he'd caught her attention, and Jess found himself leaning closer to her. He pushed away from the wall and moved toward her, coming within a few inches of her. Rory's head tipped to the side the way it always did before he kissed her. He got close enough to feel her breath on his cheek, and she his, before they realized what was going on and jumped back from each other.
"So, baggage claim?" Rory asked quickly, dropping Jess' gaze and glancing around like a frightened rabbit.
"Yeah," Jess agreed, grateful for the not-so-subtle distraction. "It's this way."
The pair moved silently through the airport and collected Rory's bag with surprisingly little difficulty. Jess than led Rory outside and through the maze of the parking lot. She stopped up short next to him when he paused next to his transportation for the day.
"When did you get a car?" she asked, surprised that he hadn't mentioned buying one.
Jess reached out and ran a finger over the peeling paint on the trunk. "This morning. I borrowed it from my boss at the bookstore."
"Oh," Rory said quietly. She was watching Jess' fingers move gently over the edge of the car. He used to touch her like that. The memory made her stomach clench and her face flush hotly. She jumped slightly when Jess spoke again.
"So, how've you been?" he asked, digging in his back pocket for the car keys.
"Good. You?" Rory asked back as she nervously shifted from foot to foot.
"Fine," Jess told her. He popped the trunk over and helped Rory heft her suitcase into the car. "It occurs to me now that we both already know how we've been."
Rory breathed a laugh. "Yeah, we do. But this is kind of . . ."
"Weird," Jess finished. "That hadn't gone unnoticed, trust me."
"How do we get to not weird?" Rory asked.
Jess shrugged, "I have no idea. Maybe if we were around another person?"
"The airport is full of people, Jess. It was still weird," Rory reminded him. She noticed how neither one of them mentioned the near kiss that had made it even weirder.
"I meant someone else we could both talk to that would take the pressure off of us having to talk to each other right now," Jess explained.
"Oh." Rory nodded, "So where do we find this other person?"
"I was thinking that Lily'd be a good distraction."
Rory brightened, "Great! Where is she?"
Jess dropped his head and sighed again. He tilted his head and looked at Rory through the wave of hair that fell over his forehead again. "She's at least an hour's drive away. Probably longer with traffic picking up like it's going to."
"Uh-huh." Rory's eyes darted between Jess and the car. The car they'd have to spend at least an hour in . . . alone.
"If I'd been thinking, I would have brought her with me," Jess admitted.
Rory only nodded mutely. It would have been nice to have a buffer between the two of them right now, but she was also glad that Jess hadn't thought to bring Lily along. The first moments of her reunion with Jess, awkward as they were, were moments she'd been dreaming about for weeks. She wouldn't have wanted anyone else encroaching on them, no matter how good Lily's presence would have felt afterwards.
"It's okay," Rory finally said. She warily eyed the rusting car again. "The radio in this thing works, right?"
Jess managed a weak smile. "It works. It's stuck on AM, but it works."
"Okay, than," Rory said firmly. "Start it up, and public radio can be our third person."
Unlocking the driver's door, Jess slid into the care and reached across the seat to unlock the other door for Rory. As she settled herself, he started the car. "If we're really lucky," he told her sarcastically, "Dr. Laura will be on."
Rory looked at him with raised eyebrows for a long moment and then burst into full-throated laughter. Jess grinned back at her and started laughing himself. Maybe the drive wouldn't be so bad after all.
**********
Almost three hours later, Rory was following Jess to Jimmy and Sasha's front gate. The drive hadn't taken as long as either of them had feared it might when they saw the amount of traffic starting to clog the roads, but even if it had, they probably wouldn't have minded. Once they'd gotten on the road, Rory and Jess had both calmed down, and their conversation had fallen into the easy patter of their phone calls. They talked about Jess' jobs, how Luke and the diner were, and what Rory was doing to prepare for the new school year. They may have all been things that they'd talked about before, but the important thing was that they were comfortable around each other. But now, Rory's comfort level was starting to dwindle as she prepared to meet Jimmy, Sasha, and Lily.
Jess unlatched the gate but paused before pushing it open. He looked over his shoulder at Rory, "The dogs are mostly friendly, but the basset hound's a drooler."
"How many dogs are there?" Rory asked, trying to peer over Jess' shoulder.
"Usually about ten or so," Jess shrugged. "They don't bite; you don't have to worry about them. Lily's out with them all the time, and she's never gotten hurt."
"It's not really the dogs I'm worried about," Rory mumbled, looking down.
Jess let go of the gate and turned around to face her. "Is this about the bed thing in the apartment? 'Cause I told you that I don't mind sleeping on the couch. It's a hell of a lot more comfortable than that air mattress I slept on for a while at Luke's." He angled his head so her could see her face. "And I can promise again that I'm not going to pounce on you in the middle of the night, if it'll make you feel better."
Rory pushed playfully at his shoulder. "I'm not worried about that either. What if they don't like me?" she asked, flicking her eyes toward the house.
"Who?" Jess asked with raised eyebrows. "Jimmy, Sasha, and Lily? Why wouldn't they like you, Rory? I mean, you're a lot more likable than I am, and for some reason they all think I'm great. You're pretty much guaranteed liking."
Shrugging noncommittally, Rory motioned for Jess to open the gate and followed him through. Ecstatic barking greeting them on the other side, but before any of the dogs had a chance to jump up on Rory, the door to the house flew open, and a small blonde blur burst into the yard. The blur squealed and wrapped itself around Rory, forcing her to take a step back.
Rory looked helplessly at Jess, but he was only grinning at her. "See? You're liked," he laughed. "Hey, Lily, let go before you crush internal organs."
Lily let go of Rory and stepped back, still bouncing in excitement. "Hi, Rory! You're here!"
"Hi, Lily. It's nice to finally meet you," Rory said, joining Jess' laughter as Lily grabbed her hand and pulled her into the house.
"They're here!" Lily announced to Jimmy and Sasha who were waiting in the kitchen.
Jess followed them in and shut the door. "I think the entire neighborhood knows we're here the way you plowed outside. Well, this is Rory. Rory, this is Jimmy and Sasha," he said, gesturing between the three of them.
Jimmy and Sasha rose and each shook Rory's hand. Rory offered a smile to each of them and allowed herself to be steered into the living room. She sat in one corner of the couch, Lily scrambling to sit next to her, and Jess sat on the other side of Lily. Sasha sat in the nearby chair, and Jimmy perched on its arm. Rory had a fleeting feeling of being on trial but pushed through it. She cleared her throat and addressed Jimmy.
"I just want to thank you again for the ticket," she told him. "It was a really nice gesture, and I really appreciate it."
"Don't mention it," Jimmy shrugged. "It was the least I could do. I just wish that Jess would let me do more for him."
Jess shot the other man a sour look. "I told you that you don't have to give me stuff. You don't' have anything to make up for."
"Guys," Sasha said sternly, "let's not have this fight in front of Rory, okay?" Turning to Rory, she asked, "Was your flight okay? You didn't have any problems?"
Rory shook her head, "No. It was fine. Well, the food was bad, but that's to be expected. Luke gave me cookies before I left, so I had those." She looked over at Jess, "I saved you one in my carry-on."
"You had a cookie, and you didn't eat it?" Jess asked with mock surprise. "I am shocked, I tell you. Simply shocked!"
Sasha groaned before Rory could reply. "God, you must be starving! I should have offered you something when you came it. Or, we haven't really eaten either . . . we could order in something. How do you feel about Indian food?"
"NO!" Jess and Jimmy cried out at the same time.
"Okay," Sasha drawled, "be big babies about the smell again. Is pizza all right?"
"Sure, whatever you want," Rory said.
"Are you sure? You're the guest here."
Jess laughed, "Sasha, chill. Rory'll eat just about anything that's not a vegetable." When Rory nodded in agreement, Jess motioned for Sasha to find the phone. "Go. Order. I wanna show Rory something."
Sasha sighed and shook her head. "You two are exactly alike," she told Jimmy as she stood and went into the kitchen to track down the pizza menu. Jimmy and Jess shared a look, and the older man also went into the kitchen.
"Come look at this," Jess told Rory, getting to his feet and crossing the room to a doorway. He disappeared through it, leaving Rory little choice but to follow him with Lily close in her wake.
When Rory drew even with the doorway, her mouth dropped open as she took in the shelves and shelves of books and records that adorned the walls. Jess was lounging in a desk chair in front of her, but she could only gape at him.
"I know how you feel," he told her. "I had the same reaction . . . though it was probably scarier for me. Finally figured out where I got it from."
Lily pushed her way around Rory to the large cabinet in the room. Throwing open the door, she caught Rory's attention. "This is my spot," she said proudly.
Rory smiled at the girl. "I've been wondering what this looked like." Looking inside, Rory admired the types of books stacked inside. There were volumes of fairy tales, some adventure stories, and a couple of books that surprised Rory. "Is that Ethan Frome?"
"Yeah. Jess and I finished it yesterday. We had this really good discussion on whether or not the pickle dish represented the Frome's marriage." Just then Sasha called for Lily from the other room. Lily pouted, "I have to go."
"I'll still be here," Rory assure her and smiled again as Lily skipped out of the room. She then turned her attention to Jess. "Ethan Frome?" she asked incredulously.
Jess shrugged, "Like you weren't reading it when you were her age?" He suddenly looked at Rory seriously. "Do you ever wonder why I like Lily so much?"
"All the time," Rory told him. "I've seen you around other kids. You looked like you were being tortured."
"Yeah. Well, the thing with Lil is that she reminds me of the two of us," Jess admitted. Off Rory's confused look, he clarified, "She's like me when I was a kid: quiet, kind of strange, not a lot of friends, likes to be alone. But sometimes she'll do or say something and I think that that's what you must have been like as a kid: smarter than she should be, reading all kinds of stuff kids her age have never heard of, and she talks about what she reads in ways that some people our age wouldn't even think of."
Rory's eyes widened, and she felt herself starting to blush. She didn't know what to say to that, especially coming from Jess. "I . . . that's . . ."
"And I've freaked you out in less than six hours," Jess muttered. "That's better than I thought things would go."
"I'm not freaked out," Rory said quickly. "You've just never told me anything like that before, and I didn't know what to say." She moved over to where Jess was sitting and leaned against the desk. "I think it's sweet," she said softly, brushing at his hair again against her better judgment.
Jess fought the urge to lean into her hand. He suddenly felt shy. "Thanks," he said roughly, pushing to his feet. "We should go see if we can help with something in the kitchen."
"Yeah," Rory nodded, knowing that there probably wasn't anything for them to do. Jess jest wanted to change the subject in a more populated setting, and she didn't have a problem with that. Still, Rory couldn't help but think that she'd have to watch Lily's actions a little more closely while she was in town to see how accurate Jess really was.
**********
Dinner had passed quickly, but by the end of it Rory almost felt like she was back in the diner with everyone one she'd known all her life. She'd realized that Jess was right when he compared Sasha to Lorelai. The two women would probably get along very well. It was also becoming more apparent that Jimmy and Jess were very much alike, even if neither one of them was comfortable admitting it yet. Rory still wasn't sure if Jess' theory about Lily was true because the girl was too excited about finally meeting Rory, but she was sure once the younger girl calmed down it would become easier to tell if they were similar.
It was after eleven when Rory gratefully followed Jess into his apartment again. She made a beeline for the bed and collapsed face first onto the dark green comforter.
"Are you all right?" Jess asked amusedly, tossing his keys onto the small table next to the couch.
"I'm exhausted," Rory mumbled. "My body thinks it's two in the morning."
Jess perched on the arm of the couch and crossed his arms. "You could have said something earlier, you know. We didn't have to stay as long as we did. It's not like I won't take you back over there this week."
Rory rolled onto her side and looked at Jess. "I was having fun. They're all really nice."
"And you were worried they would like you," Jess teased.
"Shut up. Oh!" Rory suddenly jumped to her feet with energy she didn't' think she had. She crossed back to the door where her bags were resting. Rummaging through the front of her backpack, she came away with a plastic bag. She turned and closed the distance to where Jess was still leaning and held out the bag toward him.
He looked down. "You really did bring me a cookie," he chuckled.
"I said I would," Rory shrugged. "Luke said you liked them."
"I do," Jess agreed. He reached out to take the bag, and his fingers brushed against hers. It felt like an electric current shot up his arm. Rory's hand started to shake, and she jerked her hand away, leaving Jess to scramble to catch the bag before it hit the ground.
"Um . . . okay . . . so, I think I'm going to go to bed," Rory stammered, rushing back over to her suitcase.
Jess pushed a hand through his hair. "Yeah, good idea. You can have the bathroom first," he said, nodding toward the bathroom door. There are clean towels on the shelf behind the door."
"Thanks," Rory mumbled as she skittered into the bathroom and closed the door. She leaned back against the door and took a deep breath. Reaching over, she turned on the faucet and hoped the sound of the running water would cover the sound of her trying not to cry. It was only the first day of her visit, and there'd already been three awkward physical moments. Moving to the sink, she splashed some water on her face.
"Okay," Rory told her reflection, "it's just because you haven't seen each other in a long time. It doesn't mean that he still has feelings for you. Just because you want to kiss him silly, it doesn't mean you still love him. It doesn't." She gave her reflection a stern nod and started to get ready for bed, resolutely ignoring the little voice in the back of her head reminding her that everything happened for a reason.
At the same time, Jess was in the other room trying to calm down. "It's just accidental," he sighed. "We're friends, and she's just being affectionate with a friend. It means nothing." He repeated that over and over to himself as he retrieved an extra blanket from the storage box under the bed and made up the couch.
When Rory emerged from the bathroom in her pajamas, Jess excused himself and disappeared into the room himself. He changed into an old t-shirt form the back of his closet, even though he didn't normally sleep in a shirt. He just thought it would make Rory more comfortable, but he decided not to put on pants to cover his boxer shorts. There were something Rory was just going to have to deal with.
Coming out of the bathroom, he found that Rory had already crawled into the bed and had the covers pulled up to her chin. "All set?" he asked her."
"Yep," Rory yawned.
"Okay. I'll get the light." Jess crossed the room and flicked the switch near the door. He checked the locks and turned around. "Good-night, Rory."
"Good-night, Jess. I'll see you in the morning." Rory snuggled further into the pillow and shut her eyes.
Jess watched her for a moment and then went to the couch and lay down. He was tired, but he could only stare wall. There were too many thoughts and questions racing through his head for sleep to come. He didn't know that less than ten feet away Rory was having a similar restless night.
**********
Author's Notes the Second: There it is. Sorry for any problems my wonky upload caused. Next chapter soon, I promise.
That said, here's Chapter 11! (I hope)
Disclaimer: I own nothing other than the plot and a few original characters. All events through the end of Season 3 have occurred, but the only thing I'm borrowing from Season 4 is Rory's haircut. Any other similarities are purely coincidence. Chapter titles come from various Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers songs. I do not own those either.
**********
Chapter 11: I Will Recognize Your Face
Friday, August 13, 2004
Jess sighed and slouched further down in the chair he was sitting in. He tossed the battered book he wasn't reading onto the table in front of him and tilted his head back, closing his eyes against the glare of the sun. The sound of footsteps behind him caused him to reluctantly crack open an eye and squint up at the person standing over him.
"What are you doing here?" Jimmy asked. "I gave you the day off so you could get things ready for Rory."
"I've already cleaned every inch of the apartment three times," Jess said as he closed his eyes again. "I could clean it again, but it think that would start taking the finish off the sink."
Jimmy untied his apron and straddled the chair next to Jess. He looked up at the sun beating down from overhead. "That still doesn't explain why you're here. It'd be cooler waiting at home."
Jess sighed again. "I need a distraction. I'm afraid if I stay at home alone I'll throw up again."
"When did you throw up?" Jimmy wanted to know. Concerned, he reached out and laid a hand on Jess' forehead. "You feel warm."
"Of course I feel warm," Jess growled, batting Jimmy's hand away. "It's almost ninety degrees out here. I threw up this morning after I picked up Henry's car. I don't think I've ever been this nervous in my life."
"I'm sure it'll be fine," Jimmy said unconvincingly. "What time does Rory get in?"
"Four-fifteen."
"Jess, you can't sit out here for four hours. Go home, and try to relax."
Jess snorted, "Easy for you to say. You're not the one sitting around thinking of all the things that could happen this week. Besides, Diego and Warren are hammering out the fender on a Porsche. It sounds like a tone deaf marching band got lost down there."
"Then go over to the house," Jimmy suggested. "I'm sure Sasha and Lily can distract you."
"All Lily can talk about is how excited she is that Rory's coming," Jess reminded the older man. "And Sasha keeps asking me if I'm all right and if I need her to teach me some deep breathing techniques."
Jimmy shrugged, "Might not be a bad idea. Or not," he added quickly as Jess rolled his head and gave Jimmy and incredibly dark look. "I haven't seen you get this worked up over something since you first got here. What is it about this girl that twists you into knots?"
Jess blinked slowly, contemplating on whether or not to answer the question. He decided that there wasn't any thing he could say that would be as believable as the truth. "She made me care." He tipped his head back again to avoid looking at Jimmy as he continued. I'd pretty much stopped caring about anything when I was living with Liz. Then I get plopped down in the middle of damn Mayberry, and out of nowhere there's this beautiful intelligent girl who actually treats me like a person and not a pain in the ass, and it suddenly matters again what someone thinks of me. And that started to scare the shit out of me, and I didn't know what to do about it. That's how I ended up here, but . . ."
"It still matters what she thinks," Jimmy said quietly.
"Yeah," Jess agreed gruffly. "I don't wanna disappoint her again."
There was nothing Jimmy could say to that. He only nodded in understanding. "Then I guess I'll just leave you here with," he reached out and smoothed the creased cover of the paperback on the table, "Charles Dickens. Just don't get heatstroke, okay?"
"Chuck and I will stay hydrated," Jess promised glibly. He shut his eyes again as Jimmy left him alone, letting the sun war his face once more. Absentmindedly, he reached out and stroked the spine of the book on the table, remembering when things were easier. When it didn't matter what anyone thought of him. When all he needed was his own approval. When Dodger was just another character in a story.
**********
"There," Rory said with finality as she tugged the zipper on her suitcase all the way closed and clicked the little lock into place. She brushed her hands off and sat on the edge of the bed next to the bulging case. "All packed."
"And you didn't even need me to sit on it," Lane said from her perch in the chair in Rory's room. "So, why am I here again?" she asked.
"Because I freaked out this morning, and I needed you to talk me down," Rory reminded her.
Lane nodded, "Right, right. You know, in hindsight, yesterday's three hour 'songs with California in the title' medley might not have been a good idea."
"No," Rory shook her head, "that was fun. I think it was when Luke told me to say hi to Jess for him when I ran in for coffee this morning that set me off." She flopped back on the bed and groaned. "Why did I think this was a good idea?"
"Are you going to be sick again?" Lane asked, concerned for her friend.
"I don't think there's anything left in my stomach even if I were. I've never been so nervous it made me sick before, and I know I've said it a dozen times already, but thanks for the hair holding."
Lane waved off the comment. "Just returning the favor from my night of drunken revelations." She suddenly sat up straight, "Oh, did you know want to be reminded of that night? Was that a completely heartless thing to say?"
Rory sat up too, "It's fine. That was a long time ago, and Jess and I have talked about it. That's like fourth on the list of stuff I'm worried about right now."
"You have a list of stuff to worry about?" Lane leaned forward, eager for Rory to explain.
"I always have a list," Rory sighed. "In order of importance: what if Yale's changed me too much, and Jess thinks I'm a snob; what if Jess has changed too much, and once we're in the same room together we have absolutely nothing in common anymore; what if his family hates me once they get to know me; what if we end up getting into another argument about the way he left."
"That's quite the impressive list of worries to fit into a day," Lane told her.
"I'm nothing if not an overachiever."
"What time do you leave?"
Rory looked at the clock. "I've got to leave for the airport in two hours. Mom should be home soon to take me."
Lane sighed, "I wish I could come with you, but I promised Mama that I'd help her with inventory. Actually, I should probably go home now. You gonna be okay?" she asked, standing up."
"Yeah, I think so." Rory stood and gave Lane and hug. "Thanks for coming over."
"No problem. You'd do the same for me," Lane said. "Now, be safe, have fun, and if you see Brad Pitt try and get me a lock of hair."
Rory laughed, "One for you and one for Mom. I'll see you when I get home." She gave Lane one last hug and held a smile firmly in place until the other girl had disappeared down the driveway. Then Rory promptly marched back to her room, curled up on the bed, and started worrying about her number one worry, the one she'd left off her list. What if once she say Jess again it became impossible to ignore the possibility that she was still in love with him?
**********
It didn't take Jess very long to locate the place Rory would have to come through when she got off the plane despite he never having been in an airport before. He chose a spot along the wall opposite the security gate where he could see everyone coming through but still remain somewhat hidden in the crowd. All of the arrival/departure monitors festooning the airport indicated that Rory's flight was on-time, and if that remained true, Jess had about ten minutes to kill. He shoved his hands deep into his pockets and slouched against the wall, surveying the people around him. Among other things, there were people leaving or arriving on business trips, families on vacation, tearful good-byes between couples, and even more tearful reunions. Jess wished he were there for any one of those reasons; then he would know what to expect. But no, he was there to meet a girl he hadn't seen in over a year, a girl whose heart he'd trampled. He highly doubted he'd be on the receiving end of a tearful hug no matter how much he wanted to be. He could only admit to himself that he wanted nothing more than to sweep Rory up when she appeared, but the state of their relationship, no matter how friendly on the phone, was too uncertain for that to be a possibility. Sighing and kicking a heel against the wall behind him, Jess hoped that he would at least get more than the stiff handshakes exchanged between arriving business people and their rides.
Jess didn't realize how long he'd been lost in thought until a young girl's squeal of 'Daddy!' brought his attention back to the arrival gate. People were beginning to trickle through it at an increasing rate. A quick glance confirmed that Rory's flight had landed and these entering people were likely the first off of her plane. Straightening up, Jess watched the gate carefully. A few moments later Rory appeared, glancing around uncertainly. When her eyes passed in his direction, he raised a hand. His eyes locked with hers, and Jess drew a shaky breath when she smiled timidly, shifter her backpack, and began winding her way through the thickening crowd toward him. It was the moment they'd both been dreading and anticipating all day.
Rory stopped a few feet in front of him. "Hi," she said, forcing her earlier timid smile into a larger friendly one. She kept her hands wound tight around the shoulder straps of her backpack where they curved over her chest. The urge to touch him was too strong, and she wasn't sure how he would react if she tried.
"Hey," Jess returned, keeping his hands tucked firmly in his pockets for the same reasons that were running silently through Rory's head. "How was your flight?"
"Good," she nodded. She took a quick look around and became increasingly aware of the amount of hugging going on around them. Snapping her attention back to Jess, she asked, "Did you have any problems finding the gate?"
Jess shook his head. "Nope."
"Good," Rory repeated. Jess' eyes were heavy on her, and she couldn't help but fidget. She tucked her hair behind her ears even though it wasn't in any danger of falling into her face.
Rory's action brought Jess' attention to her face, and he allowed himself to really look at her for the first time in over a year. She looked almost exactly like he remembered, but there were some small changes he could see if he looked hard enough. The nervous fidgeting was an old habit, as was her trying to avoid his eyes directly, but she was holding herself a little more confidently than she used to, standing tall with her shoulders back. She wasn't trying to completely curl in and make herself less noticeable. Her hands came up to smooth a stray lock that wasn't straying at all, and Jess realized that it was his turn to speak again.
"You cut you hair," he said eventually as he watched the shorter strands brush softly against her cheek.
"You've been letting yours grow," she returned and smiled as he tried to reorder the unruly mop of thick dark waves that covered the tops of his ears and fell over his forehead. When he scowled at her mirth, she reached up and smoothed his cowlick herself.
They both shivered at her touch. Rory finally looked directly into his eyes for the first time since he'd caught her attention, and Jess found himself leaning closer to her. He pushed away from the wall and moved toward her, coming within a few inches of her. Rory's head tipped to the side the way it always did before he kissed her. He got close enough to feel her breath on his cheek, and she his, before they realized what was going on and jumped back from each other.
"So, baggage claim?" Rory asked quickly, dropping Jess' gaze and glancing around like a frightened rabbit.
"Yeah," Jess agreed, grateful for the not-so-subtle distraction. "It's this way."
The pair moved silently through the airport and collected Rory's bag with surprisingly little difficulty. Jess than led Rory outside and through the maze of the parking lot. She stopped up short next to him when he paused next to his transportation for the day.
"When did you get a car?" she asked, surprised that he hadn't mentioned buying one.
Jess reached out and ran a finger over the peeling paint on the trunk. "This morning. I borrowed it from my boss at the bookstore."
"Oh," Rory said quietly. She was watching Jess' fingers move gently over the edge of the car. He used to touch her like that. The memory made her stomach clench and her face flush hotly. She jumped slightly when Jess spoke again.
"So, how've you been?" he asked, digging in his back pocket for the car keys.
"Good. You?" Rory asked back as she nervously shifted from foot to foot.
"Fine," Jess told her. He popped the trunk over and helped Rory heft her suitcase into the car. "It occurs to me now that we both already know how we've been."
Rory breathed a laugh. "Yeah, we do. But this is kind of . . ."
"Weird," Jess finished. "That hadn't gone unnoticed, trust me."
"How do we get to not weird?" Rory asked.
Jess shrugged, "I have no idea. Maybe if we were around another person?"
"The airport is full of people, Jess. It was still weird," Rory reminded him. She noticed how neither one of them mentioned the near kiss that had made it even weirder.
"I meant someone else we could both talk to that would take the pressure off of us having to talk to each other right now," Jess explained.
"Oh." Rory nodded, "So where do we find this other person?"
"I was thinking that Lily'd be a good distraction."
Rory brightened, "Great! Where is she?"
Jess dropped his head and sighed again. He tilted his head and looked at Rory through the wave of hair that fell over his forehead again. "She's at least an hour's drive away. Probably longer with traffic picking up like it's going to."
"Uh-huh." Rory's eyes darted between Jess and the car. The car they'd have to spend at least an hour in . . . alone.
"If I'd been thinking, I would have brought her with me," Jess admitted.
Rory only nodded mutely. It would have been nice to have a buffer between the two of them right now, but she was also glad that Jess hadn't thought to bring Lily along. The first moments of her reunion with Jess, awkward as they were, were moments she'd been dreaming about for weeks. She wouldn't have wanted anyone else encroaching on them, no matter how good Lily's presence would have felt afterwards.
"It's okay," Rory finally said. She warily eyed the rusting car again. "The radio in this thing works, right?"
Jess managed a weak smile. "It works. It's stuck on AM, but it works."
"Okay, than," Rory said firmly. "Start it up, and public radio can be our third person."
Unlocking the driver's door, Jess slid into the care and reached across the seat to unlock the other door for Rory. As she settled herself, he started the car. "If we're really lucky," he told her sarcastically, "Dr. Laura will be on."
Rory looked at him with raised eyebrows for a long moment and then burst into full-throated laughter. Jess grinned back at her and started laughing himself. Maybe the drive wouldn't be so bad after all.
**********
Almost three hours later, Rory was following Jess to Jimmy and Sasha's front gate. The drive hadn't taken as long as either of them had feared it might when they saw the amount of traffic starting to clog the roads, but even if it had, they probably wouldn't have minded. Once they'd gotten on the road, Rory and Jess had both calmed down, and their conversation had fallen into the easy patter of their phone calls. They talked about Jess' jobs, how Luke and the diner were, and what Rory was doing to prepare for the new school year. They may have all been things that they'd talked about before, but the important thing was that they were comfortable around each other. But now, Rory's comfort level was starting to dwindle as she prepared to meet Jimmy, Sasha, and Lily.
Jess unlatched the gate but paused before pushing it open. He looked over his shoulder at Rory, "The dogs are mostly friendly, but the basset hound's a drooler."
"How many dogs are there?" Rory asked, trying to peer over Jess' shoulder.
"Usually about ten or so," Jess shrugged. "They don't bite; you don't have to worry about them. Lily's out with them all the time, and she's never gotten hurt."
"It's not really the dogs I'm worried about," Rory mumbled, looking down.
Jess let go of the gate and turned around to face her. "Is this about the bed thing in the apartment? 'Cause I told you that I don't mind sleeping on the couch. It's a hell of a lot more comfortable than that air mattress I slept on for a while at Luke's." He angled his head so her could see her face. "And I can promise again that I'm not going to pounce on you in the middle of the night, if it'll make you feel better."
Rory pushed playfully at his shoulder. "I'm not worried about that either. What if they don't like me?" she asked, flicking her eyes toward the house.
"Who?" Jess asked with raised eyebrows. "Jimmy, Sasha, and Lily? Why wouldn't they like you, Rory? I mean, you're a lot more likable than I am, and for some reason they all think I'm great. You're pretty much guaranteed liking."
Shrugging noncommittally, Rory motioned for Jess to open the gate and followed him through. Ecstatic barking greeting them on the other side, but before any of the dogs had a chance to jump up on Rory, the door to the house flew open, and a small blonde blur burst into the yard. The blur squealed and wrapped itself around Rory, forcing her to take a step back.
Rory looked helplessly at Jess, but he was only grinning at her. "See? You're liked," he laughed. "Hey, Lily, let go before you crush internal organs."
Lily let go of Rory and stepped back, still bouncing in excitement. "Hi, Rory! You're here!"
"Hi, Lily. It's nice to finally meet you," Rory said, joining Jess' laughter as Lily grabbed her hand and pulled her into the house.
"They're here!" Lily announced to Jimmy and Sasha who were waiting in the kitchen.
Jess followed them in and shut the door. "I think the entire neighborhood knows we're here the way you plowed outside. Well, this is Rory. Rory, this is Jimmy and Sasha," he said, gesturing between the three of them.
Jimmy and Sasha rose and each shook Rory's hand. Rory offered a smile to each of them and allowed herself to be steered into the living room. She sat in one corner of the couch, Lily scrambling to sit next to her, and Jess sat on the other side of Lily. Sasha sat in the nearby chair, and Jimmy perched on its arm. Rory had a fleeting feeling of being on trial but pushed through it. She cleared her throat and addressed Jimmy.
"I just want to thank you again for the ticket," she told him. "It was a really nice gesture, and I really appreciate it."
"Don't mention it," Jimmy shrugged. "It was the least I could do. I just wish that Jess would let me do more for him."
Jess shot the other man a sour look. "I told you that you don't have to give me stuff. You don't' have anything to make up for."
"Guys," Sasha said sternly, "let's not have this fight in front of Rory, okay?" Turning to Rory, she asked, "Was your flight okay? You didn't have any problems?"
Rory shook her head, "No. It was fine. Well, the food was bad, but that's to be expected. Luke gave me cookies before I left, so I had those." She looked over at Jess, "I saved you one in my carry-on."
"You had a cookie, and you didn't eat it?" Jess asked with mock surprise. "I am shocked, I tell you. Simply shocked!"
Sasha groaned before Rory could reply. "God, you must be starving! I should have offered you something when you came it. Or, we haven't really eaten either . . . we could order in something. How do you feel about Indian food?"
"NO!" Jess and Jimmy cried out at the same time.
"Okay," Sasha drawled, "be big babies about the smell again. Is pizza all right?"
"Sure, whatever you want," Rory said.
"Are you sure? You're the guest here."
Jess laughed, "Sasha, chill. Rory'll eat just about anything that's not a vegetable." When Rory nodded in agreement, Jess motioned for Sasha to find the phone. "Go. Order. I wanna show Rory something."
Sasha sighed and shook her head. "You two are exactly alike," she told Jimmy as she stood and went into the kitchen to track down the pizza menu. Jimmy and Jess shared a look, and the older man also went into the kitchen.
"Come look at this," Jess told Rory, getting to his feet and crossing the room to a doorway. He disappeared through it, leaving Rory little choice but to follow him with Lily close in her wake.
When Rory drew even with the doorway, her mouth dropped open as she took in the shelves and shelves of books and records that adorned the walls. Jess was lounging in a desk chair in front of her, but she could only gape at him.
"I know how you feel," he told her. "I had the same reaction . . . though it was probably scarier for me. Finally figured out where I got it from."
Lily pushed her way around Rory to the large cabinet in the room. Throwing open the door, she caught Rory's attention. "This is my spot," she said proudly.
Rory smiled at the girl. "I've been wondering what this looked like." Looking inside, Rory admired the types of books stacked inside. There were volumes of fairy tales, some adventure stories, and a couple of books that surprised Rory. "Is that Ethan Frome?"
"Yeah. Jess and I finished it yesterday. We had this really good discussion on whether or not the pickle dish represented the Frome's marriage." Just then Sasha called for Lily from the other room. Lily pouted, "I have to go."
"I'll still be here," Rory assure her and smiled again as Lily skipped out of the room. She then turned her attention to Jess. "Ethan Frome?" she asked incredulously.
Jess shrugged, "Like you weren't reading it when you were her age?" He suddenly looked at Rory seriously. "Do you ever wonder why I like Lily so much?"
"All the time," Rory told him. "I've seen you around other kids. You looked like you were being tortured."
"Yeah. Well, the thing with Lil is that she reminds me of the two of us," Jess admitted. Off Rory's confused look, he clarified, "She's like me when I was a kid: quiet, kind of strange, not a lot of friends, likes to be alone. But sometimes she'll do or say something and I think that that's what you must have been like as a kid: smarter than she should be, reading all kinds of stuff kids her age have never heard of, and she talks about what she reads in ways that some people our age wouldn't even think of."
Rory's eyes widened, and she felt herself starting to blush. She didn't know what to say to that, especially coming from Jess. "I . . . that's . . ."
"And I've freaked you out in less than six hours," Jess muttered. "That's better than I thought things would go."
"I'm not freaked out," Rory said quickly. "You've just never told me anything like that before, and I didn't know what to say." She moved over to where Jess was sitting and leaned against the desk. "I think it's sweet," she said softly, brushing at his hair again against her better judgment.
Jess fought the urge to lean into her hand. He suddenly felt shy. "Thanks," he said roughly, pushing to his feet. "We should go see if we can help with something in the kitchen."
"Yeah," Rory nodded, knowing that there probably wasn't anything for them to do. Jess jest wanted to change the subject in a more populated setting, and she didn't have a problem with that. Still, Rory couldn't help but think that she'd have to watch Lily's actions a little more closely while she was in town to see how accurate Jess really was.
**********
Dinner had passed quickly, but by the end of it Rory almost felt like she was back in the diner with everyone one she'd known all her life. She'd realized that Jess was right when he compared Sasha to Lorelai. The two women would probably get along very well. It was also becoming more apparent that Jimmy and Jess were very much alike, even if neither one of them was comfortable admitting it yet. Rory still wasn't sure if Jess' theory about Lily was true because the girl was too excited about finally meeting Rory, but she was sure once the younger girl calmed down it would become easier to tell if they were similar.
It was after eleven when Rory gratefully followed Jess into his apartment again. She made a beeline for the bed and collapsed face first onto the dark green comforter.
"Are you all right?" Jess asked amusedly, tossing his keys onto the small table next to the couch.
"I'm exhausted," Rory mumbled. "My body thinks it's two in the morning."
Jess perched on the arm of the couch and crossed his arms. "You could have said something earlier, you know. We didn't have to stay as long as we did. It's not like I won't take you back over there this week."
Rory rolled onto her side and looked at Jess. "I was having fun. They're all really nice."
"And you were worried they would like you," Jess teased.
"Shut up. Oh!" Rory suddenly jumped to her feet with energy she didn't' think she had. She crossed back to the door where her bags were resting. Rummaging through the front of her backpack, she came away with a plastic bag. She turned and closed the distance to where Jess was still leaning and held out the bag toward him.
He looked down. "You really did bring me a cookie," he chuckled.
"I said I would," Rory shrugged. "Luke said you liked them."
"I do," Jess agreed. He reached out to take the bag, and his fingers brushed against hers. It felt like an electric current shot up his arm. Rory's hand started to shake, and she jerked her hand away, leaving Jess to scramble to catch the bag before it hit the ground.
"Um . . . okay . . . so, I think I'm going to go to bed," Rory stammered, rushing back over to her suitcase.
Jess pushed a hand through his hair. "Yeah, good idea. You can have the bathroom first," he said, nodding toward the bathroom door. There are clean towels on the shelf behind the door."
"Thanks," Rory mumbled as she skittered into the bathroom and closed the door. She leaned back against the door and took a deep breath. Reaching over, she turned on the faucet and hoped the sound of the running water would cover the sound of her trying not to cry. It was only the first day of her visit, and there'd already been three awkward physical moments. Moving to the sink, she splashed some water on her face.
"Okay," Rory told her reflection, "it's just because you haven't seen each other in a long time. It doesn't mean that he still has feelings for you. Just because you want to kiss him silly, it doesn't mean you still love him. It doesn't." She gave her reflection a stern nod and started to get ready for bed, resolutely ignoring the little voice in the back of her head reminding her that everything happened for a reason.
At the same time, Jess was in the other room trying to calm down. "It's just accidental," he sighed. "We're friends, and she's just being affectionate with a friend. It means nothing." He repeated that over and over to himself as he retrieved an extra blanket from the storage box under the bed and made up the couch.
When Rory emerged from the bathroom in her pajamas, Jess excused himself and disappeared into the room himself. He changed into an old t-shirt form the back of his closet, even though he didn't normally sleep in a shirt. He just thought it would make Rory more comfortable, but he decided not to put on pants to cover his boxer shorts. There were something Rory was just going to have to deal with.
Coming out of the bathroom, he found that Rory had already crawled into the bed and had the covers pulled up to her chin. "All set?" he asked her."
"Yep," Rory yawned.
"Okay. I'll get the light." Jess crossed the room and flicked the switch near the door. He checked the locks and turned around. "Good-night, Rory."
"Good-night, Jess. I'll see you in the morning." Rory snuggled further into the pillow and shut her eyes.
Jess watched her for a moment and then went to the couch and lay down. He was tired, but he could only stare wall. There were too many thoughts and questions racing through his head for sleep to come. He didn't know that less than ten feet away Rory was having a similar restless night.
**********
Author's Notes the Second: There it is. Sorry for any problems my wonky upload caused. Next chapter soon, I promise.