Draikitha- Yeah, Shippou's a full blooded demon............ Is that important in some way? Cuz I'm stupid. Hey, and didn't I say I'd have a new chapter Friday/Saturday this time? Look! It's Saturday!
Hedi Dracona- Everybody looses their sanity in my stories. MUWAHA! Hey, d'you think I could have some of those sanity meters...? I need them for... uh... medical purposes... For my friends. Yeah. I mean, I'm not testing my sanity... I know I'm perfectly sane... Yup... I just... Uh... Um... Heh heh... What?!
xkuroxshinobix- Yes, your Highness...
Jasmine101- Do you need Miroku to give you CPR? (It was Eclipse! She told me to ask!) Cuz if you die laughing, I'm sending Miroku...
inu-freak1116- glad you like it.
Lena:queen of flying piggies- If they're a bunch of nutjobs, what does that make me, the one who created them? THE NUTJOB CREATOR! Well... My friend created Eclipse... But still. You know what I mean.
Black Cat- Eee! Catholic! No offense, but I have something against the catholic religion... Evil.
Water-Rose- They're a little crazy?! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOUR SANITY JUDGES? They're a little more than a little crazy... And dentists are scary, but I wouldn't lick their fingers even if it'd get their hands out of my mouth, cuz sanitary rubber gloves taste bad.
Shessha's Crazy- You sound like me and Eclipse...
C.C.C.- Grrr! You're mean. See if I let you read my stories anymore! (Like I have any say... Gr!)
Robin Autumn- I think I'm gonna draw a small child Hiei hugging a pink bunny... A little chibi Hiei or something... Isn't that cute?
Chrisoriented- If I woke up to see some freaky person hovering over my bed, I'd scream, then pummel 'em with my folder full of stories. Or a shoe. My steel-toed boots. MUWAHA! What did you do to chase your family out of the house? I wanna try it.
Mari Youma- It can only get worse...
PicoPicoZufuChan- I had a hamster named Sparky... He died. But like I said to Robin Autumn, I'm gonna draw Hiei with a pink bunny rabbit...
Bar-Ohki- Would having a hoard of constipated badgers to catapult at people be a bad thing? Oh well. I updated, and YOU PEOPLE BETTER STOP DYING! IF YOU DIE AGAIN, I'LL KILL YOU!
Kitsune Klepto- I'm glad you like it. :D
Saeble- Caffeine is God! Or closely related! Or at least, maybe God drinks caffeine a lot. That's how he's always around when you need him. HE NEVER SLEEPS! Maybe God is Santa Claus... Ho ho ho. AHHH! SANTA CLAUS! RUN AWAY!
animerocker- Eclipse says it'd be very bad if there was a giant frog demon in this story... Just now she said "Hee hee... Frog..." (Shhh! Don't tell her: I think she's insane... Shhhhh! God! She found out! Run for your lives!)
nutari- Glad you like it... :D Yay for happy insane entertaining... whatever else stories...
Flame34- DO NOT DISS THE WEASELS! They smell bad and can do more damage then chipmunks! And they're cute! And Eclipse says "Chipmunks suck compared to weasels!" MAHA LLAMA! I talk to pictures! Yay!
Another chapter written at Eclipse's house... So far that's 3 ouf ot 4 written here...
CHAPTER FOUR
Nice to Meet You
"And on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and--"
"And if you don't shut up I'll kill you," Sesshoumaru said, mocking their tones.
"Oooh! Death threats!" Shadow sang. "And on, and on, and on, and-- Hey! You know what? Once, I was walking in a circle and--"
"Please. Spare us all," Hiei said, sticking duct tape over both their mouths. "If I hear one more word out of either of you I'll do worse than just stick tape over your mouth."
"Will you kill us?" Eclipse asked, tearing off the tape.
"Or rape us?" Shadow asked, also pulling off the tape.
"No. But I'll maul you horribly and throw you in the river. We've been walking for three or four days now and YOU HAVEN'T SHUT UP FOR A MINUTE! It's really, really annoying!"
They were silent for a minute. Everybody sighed with relief and was just settling into the unusual quiet when Shadow tapped Sesshoumaru on the shoulder.
"Psst! Guess what," she said quietly. Before she could continue, Hiei punched her in the head and she fell over with swirly eyes. Sesshoumaru just walked on, dragging her along behind him.
"Well tha's not very nice," Eclipse said in a British accent. Hiei hit her too and Sesshoumaru sighed.
"D'you think they'll be out for longer than the last time you hit them?"
"Nope."
"Well you should have hit them harder!"
"It wouldn't have done any better," Hiei said, shrugging. "The only way to keep them out for more than two minutes is to severely bludgeon them."
"Shhh! Let's just enjoy the silence while we have it!" Youko snapped. Hiei and Sesshoumaru shrugged in agreement.
Exactly two minutes after Hiei'd hit them, the girls woke up and were lecturing him for being so mean.
"Okay," Sesshoumaru said through clenched teeth. "You're going to shut your mouths before I tear them off your FACES."
"Yessir," they said in unison. Shadow started digging in her pockets. She apparently had about 200 pockets because it took her a lot of digging and mumbling to finally find what she'd been looking for.
She pulled it out of her pocket and stared at it like it was made of pure gold.
It was...
A bottle of bubble suds.
You know, that stuff that you play with when you're little (well, no, cuz I'd still play with it now if I had any... Bubbles... Hee hee...) that's like soapy soap suds stuff that you blow bubbles with...? Muwaha.
She blew a bubble and stared at it, still walking straight but not watching where she was walking until the bubble floated out of sight. Then she turned back and blew another one, staring at it with the same awed face as the last, like a bubble was the most amazing thing ever to exist.
"What is this child's problem?" Sesshoumaru asked, pointing.
"... Bubbles," Shadow whispered, blowing one at him. It stuck to his hair. "BUBBLE!" She jumped onto his shoulder and bit the bubble, and , of course, in the process, got a mouthful of his hair.
"Gross! Get your mouth off my hair! I don't know where it's been!" Sesshoumaru snapped, stealing Miroku's staff and bludgeoning her until she let go.
"You don't know where what's been? Your hair or my mouth?"
"Well being as my hair is attached to my head and always has been, I'd say I was probably talking about your mouth, baka."
"...Are you sure your hair's attached?" She yanked on his hair just to make sure.
"Ow!" Sesshoumaru stopped dead and grabbed Shadow's wrist, flipping her onto the ground. "If you don't leave me the hell alone for the remainder of this miserable trip, I'll kill you and drag your corpse through the dust!"
Shadow stared up at him with big, innocent eyes. "My mouth hasn't been anywhere it shouldn't be..."
Yusuke burst out laughing. "What's your definition of 'where it should be'? Or do I want to know?"
"Well, a minute ago my mouth was on Fluffy's hair... But before that it's been--"
"On second thought, I don't really care," Yusuke said. "What about back in that village when you told those people you weren't a virgin? Were you serious?"
"OF COURSE I'M A VIRGIN, IDIOT! You don't see me spouting babies, do you?"
"That doesn't mean anything..." Yusuke said. Shadow then proceeded to steal Miroku's staff from Sesshoumaru and bludgeon Yusuke with it.
"Stop hitting people with my staff! You're gonna break it!" Miroku whined, snatching it back.
"In the next village, let's leave her. They need a village idiot," Inuyasha said.
"What if they've already got one?" Youko asked.
"THEY CAN HAVE ANOTHER ONE! Nobody can have too many idiots!" Inuyasha said.
"What about me?" Eclipse asked, sounding rejected and miserable.
"You can be the village braindead moron," Hiei said.
"Yay!" Eclipse cheered, and proceeded to skip for the next half hour, picking pink flowers and throwing the petals at Sesshoumaru.
An hour later...
"I'm hungry," Eclipse said, tired of skipping and throwing flower petals at Sesshoumaru.
"So am I," Shadow said.
"My wrist is itchy..."
"My ankles hurt..."
"I'm bored..."
"Hiei farted..."
"I DID NOT!"
"I miss the froggies..."
"I miss the weasels..."
"I miss my sanity..." Inuyasha muttered. However, like Hiei's denial of farting, he was ignored.
"I'm tired..."
"I'm sore..."
"I think my toenail got dislocated..."
"I think... No, I don't think. I forget what's wrong with me..."
"How about everything?" Yusuke suggested. Like everyone else, he was ignored.
"I'm drooling..."
"That's gross..."
"I know..."
"My knee hurts..."
"I'm sleepy..."
"You smell bad," Sesshoumaru said coldly. The girls blinked.
"Hey look! A cliff!" Eclipse said, pointing.
"With a waterfall!" Shadow added excitedly.
"Bath time!" they said in unison.
"Oh shit," Sesshoumaru yelped. He was dragged to the edge of the cliff. There was no telling how high it was, as the waterfall had filled the valley below with mist. If indeed it was a valley, below the mist.
"Guys, get away from the edge before you fall off!" Youko ordered.
"We're not gonna fall!" Eclipse shouted.
"No, we're gonna jump!" Shadow added. They looked at each other.
"SWAN DIVE!!!"
And that's exactly what they did. Perfect, in unison swan dives off the cliff into the unknown below.
Well, the swan dives would have been perfect, had Sesshoumaru not thrown them off balance... They spun, and spun, and ended up doing something more of a cannonball than a swan dive. Except the ultra idiot Shadow, who somehow, perhaps intentionally, did a bellyflop into the river 200 feet below.
"YOU IDIOTS!" Inuyasha screamed from the top of the cliff. Everybody stared down at them.
"You guys find an easier way down. I'm jumping," Hiei said.
"What, you think they survived that?"
"The only way that could have killed them would be if there were a bunch of 3-foot spikes at the bottom, or a starved tribe of cannibals. Yes, they survived," Hiei said. "Bye." He jumped. Inuyasha snorted, then followed.
"Kirara," Sango said. The tiny cat transformed and she and Miroku jumped on her back, flying down into the mist.
"You two idiots stay here with Kagome and Shippou," Youko said. "Find a different way down." Then he, like everyone else, jumped. So if there was a bunch of three-foot spikes at the bottom, they're all gonna be impaled. Maybe. And if there's a tribe of cannibals, they get a feast... Anyway!
Sesshoumaru, meanwhile, had managed to drag the two girls out of the water... That proved difficult, as one was dead weight and the other didn't want to leave the water because she's closely related to a FROG! Though you couldn't tell by looking at her...
He plopped down on the opposite shore and sat there gasping for breath, hanging onto Eclipse's wrist as she strained to get back to the water. He looked down at Shadow.
"What's her problem?"
"She did a bellyflop!" Eclipse said. "OH MY GOD, SHE'S DEAD!"
Sesshoumaru stared at her for a minute. "Yeah, maybe."
"Who's dead?" Miroku asked as Kirara landed next to Eclipse. Hiei, Youko, and Inuyasha arrived a second later, asking the same question.
"Shadow's dead," Eclipse sobbed, still straining to get to the water.
"... No, she's just swallowed water," Miroku said. He started doing CPR. After a second, Shadow coughed. He pulled back an inch or two and was met with a spout of water from her mouth.
"Am I dead?" she said. Then she opened her eyes. "Oh. It's you. I must be dead. This is Hell, isn't it?"
"You're not dead."
"Then can you stop GROPING ME?" Shadow snapped. Hiei groaned.
"You're screwed up, Miroku."
"Shadow, I must know," Miroku said, ignoring Hiei and grabbing Shadow's hands. "Will you bear my children?"
Shadow stared at him, blinking.
"Oh, come on! I sleep in the same bed as you, and you pummel me, but he asks you to bear his children and you're thinking about it?!" Youko said, horrified.
"Yeah, exactly," Hiei agreed.
"... She's the only person I've ever seen consider it for so long," Inuyasha said.
"Please, Shadow, I must have an answer," Miroku pleaded hopefully. Shadow stood up, and Miroku followed.
"Want an answer?" she said. Miroku still looked hopeful. Shadow jerked her hands away and hit him so hard he went flying through the air, slammed into the ground and rolled for a good ten feet, ending up face down in the river. "DREAM ON."
"Well, that's definite," Hiei said.
"I'm going to take a bath now," Shadow said cheerfully, dragging Sesshoumaru over to Miroku's unconscious body and switching her cuff onto the monk's wrist. Then she skipped down the shore and out of sight.
"I'm going swimming!" Eclipse said cheerfully. She grabbed Inuyasha and switched her cuff with him. Then she ran and dove into the river, clothes and all, before anyone could say anything else.
Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru stared at each other for a minute.
"I'm going to kill her," Inuyasha growled.
"I am chained to the unconscious carcass of a perverted monk and... My stupid little brother. I'm going to kill her," Sesshoumaru snarled. They glared at each other for a few more minutes until Yusuke and Kuwabara came running up to them, having apparently found an easier way down. Kagome caught up a second later with Shippou on her shoulder. She saw Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha, the lines of angry evil evil anger connecting their eyes as they glared, then saw Miroku's unconscious, soaked body, and she was instantly horrified.
"What happened?!" she asked.
"OUR WRATH IS UPON THEM!" Eclipse sang from the middle of the river.
"'Our wrath'? Speaking of which, where's Shadow?"
"ELSEWHERE!" Eclipse squealed. Then she submerged and nobody saw her again. Cuz she swam away. Underwater.
About 45 minutes later, Miroku finally woke up. He sat up, stared at Sesshoumaru, who stared back dryly, then he looked at his wrist, chained to Sesshoumaru's. He looked at the rest of the group, noticed Inuyasha pouting on the other side of Sesshoumaru, and decided not to inquire about this.
"What happened?" he asked.
"You were beat up by a girl," Sesshoumaru said dryly.
"... Where are they?" Miroku asked, looking around.
"Who? The idiot girls? Shadow went to take a bath about an hour ago, right after she pummeled you," Hiei said. "And I think Eclipse has been kidnapped by a frog, cuz she went underwater and didn't come back up."
"Took a bath, huh...?" Miroku muttered to himself. "And she isn't back yet? What if something happened?"
"Miroku, you don't care if something happened. You just care if you can see her naked," Inuyasha snapped.
"That's not true!" Miroku retorted. "I'm going to go check on her..."
"Not if I have anything to say about it you aren't," Sesshoumaru said.
"Well you don't," Miroku snapped, grabbing his wrist and dragging him, with much effort, to his feet.
"If you get me in trouble, monk, you're gonna get it," Inuyasha snapped.
"I won't, don't worry," Miroku said. "I'm just checking on them to see if anything's happened..."
"Yeah, I bet."
Miroku managed to drag the unwilling brothers down the shore until he spotted Shadow, who'd somehow gotten a bathing suit from someplace and was wearing it, much to Miroku's dismay. Eclipse was with her, wearing her clothes because she'd jumped into the river to swim in them...
"There they are," he whispered, ducking behind some bushes. "Look at that..."
"I'd rather not," the other two said in unison, turning their backs.
"You know they'll kill you if they catch you spying," Inuyasha said.
"Then I'll just have to make sure they don't catch me!" Miroku replied simply, smiling at Inuyasha. He turned back to the river and gasped. "Where'd they go?"
Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru twitched, looking up at a certain duo of nuts.
"They were just here a second ago..." Miroku was saying.
"Ummm..." Inuyasha muttered. Shadow and Eclipse smiled fake-sweetly at the dog demons.
"And now they aren't..." The monk was still muttering to himself.
"Miroku..." Inuyasha said scooting away slightly.
"Shhh, I'm trying to--"
Miroku was cut off by Sesshoumaru, who simply grabbed his shoulder and spun him around to look at the two girls. They smiled fake-sweetly at him. He laughed nervously.
"Hi girls..."
"WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING SPYING ON US?"
"I was just worried something had happened to--"
"Yeah, that's why you were hiding in the bushes!"
Miroku was promptly bludgeoned and pummeled until he fell over with swirly eyes, twitching.
"AND YOU!" Shadow snapped, rounding on the brothers. "YOU GUYS! WHAT WERE YOU DOING JUST LETTING HIM SPY ON US LIKE THAT?!"
Fifteen minutes later, Shadow (now fully clothed) and Eclipse (still in soaking wet clothes...), back in their 'rightful' places at Sesshoumaru's sides, came back into camp. Sesshoumaru was dragging a severely bludgeoned Inuyasha and Miroku by their collars behind him, and Eclipse was skipping cheerfully. Shadow carried Miroku's staff. While Inuyasha and Miroku looked like they'd just been jumped on and attacked by a mob of starved weasels, Sesshoumaru was unharmed... Completely and totally as he was before.
Sesshoumaru walked over to where Kagome and Sango were sitting near a campfire Hiei had started.
"Have a perverted man who calls himself a monk," he said, dropping Miroku in front of them. "And keep this halfbreed away from me." He tossed Inuyasha on top of Miroku, causing him to grunt. Shadow screamed and pummeled Miroku again with his own staff.
"Be silent, fool!" Eclipse ordered. Of course, being unconscious, the monk did not hear her.
"What happened to them?" Yusuke asked.
"You have to ask?" Sango said incredulously.
"Why'd you maul Inuyasha?" Hiei asked. "Was he being a pervert too?"
"No. I just felt like it," Shadow said, shrugging. "Should I have a reason?"
"... Well, this is you we're talking about... So... No."
"Glad to hear it!" Shadow said cheerfully, sitting down next to Hiei and giving the other two not a lot of choice on where to sit. "Are we roasting marshmallows?"
"Do you have any?" Hiei asked, expecting a 'no.'
"Let me see," Shadow said happily. She proceeded to search through all her 200 pockets again, and managed to bring out three bags of marshmallows. "Yes I do!"
"Do I even want to know what else is in those pockets?" Youko asked.
"Well, let's see!" Shadow said cheerfully, a big retarded smile on her face. She started to take inventory of stuff in one pocket, but Sesshoumaru grabbed her wrist.
"We don't care, Shadow," he said flatly. She sniffled.
"You don't?"
"We don't."
"MARSHMALLOWS!" Eclipse cheered, grabbing a bag and picking up a stick from the grass nearby.
They all had wonderful fun roasting marshmallows.
The end.
... Not.
"Roasting a marshmallow, roasting a marshmallow, roasty roasty roast-yyy, roasty roasty roast-yy!" Shadow sang, rocking back and forth with a big, stupid smile on her face.
"Shadow... Your marshmallow's on fire," Yusuke said.
"Huh?" Shadow opened her eyes and stared at the smouldering bit of goo. She screamed. Hiei snickered.
"THIS IS YOUR FAULT, ISN'T IT!" She snapped, standing up and pointing at him with the stick that had her still-flaming marshmallow on it.
"I had nothing to do with it," Hiei said innocently, smirking. Eclipse screamed.
"MY MARSHY MELLO YELLO! IT HAS COMBUSTED!"
"Do you even know what that means?" Hiei asked.
"NO! AND IT'S YOUR FAULT!" She also pointed her flaming marshmallow at him.
"I didn't do anything! It was... uh... Miroku!"
Miroku had woken up a few minutes earlier, and now quicky denied having anything to do with it.
"FLAMING MARSHMALLOW ASSAULT!" the girls shouting in unison, flinging their burning marshmallows at him.
"AHHHH!" He ran away, beating at his smouldering robes as he went.
"That wasn't very nice, you know," Kagome said. "He couldn't have had anything to do with it."
"Ooh! We can help you put out your robes, Mirokuuuuu!" Shadow sang as he walked back to the fire.
"That's fine, they're out..."
"No they aren't! You're delusional!" Eclipse said cheerfully. "Look, see?" She pointed to a small flame on his robes. Shadow snickered evilly.
"Hey! Put that out!"
The two girls grabbed him and flung him into the river.
"AHHHH!"
"There! Happy now?!" Eclipse said cheerfully.
"You guys are mean," Sango said. "I mean, I don't like him much, but I'm not that mean to him."
"First, we're not guys," Shadow corrected.
"And second, we're evil, not mean," Eclipse said.
"You're messed up, that's what," Hiei said. "Sit down and shut your mouths."
"Yes ma'am," Eclipse said.
"But how do we eat marshmallows if our mouths are shut?!" Shadow protested. Hiei glared.
"THROUGH YOUR EAR!"
"...Ouchies... Wouldn't that kinda hurt?"
"It'll hurt worse if you don't sit down and shut up," Hiei snapped. "Stop harassing everyone."
"Sexually?"
"I don't know! Are you sexually harassing anyone?!"
"Um... Well, they're sexually harassing me..."
"Who is?"
"Ummm.... Youko!" Shadow said, after looking around the fire for a minute. Miroku was still in the river, so she couldn't accuse him.
"I did not!" Youko replied.
"Shut up!" Shadow snapped, zapping him.
"STOP SHOCKING ME!"
"Ahh, yes, the Post-It Notes of Doom have sealed your defensive capabilities. HaHA!" Shadow said in a cheesy narrator's voice.
"Shut up, before I shut you up."
Shock.
"Ow!"
"Now shut up!" Shadow ordered.
"Yes, Your Highness..." Youko snapped.
"You got that right!"
"I'm tired," Eclipse said. "I wanna watch TV."
"WE DON'T HAVE A TV!" Hiei snapped.
"Well then do something entertaining! Beat the crap out of each other or something!" Eclipse snapped.
"I THOUGHT YOU WERE TIRED?!"
"I am." And she promptly fell over and was asleep before she hit the ground.
"So am I," Shadow said, mimicking Eclipse.
"Somebody help me," Sesshoumaru muttered, lying on the ground between them.
"You're on your own," Hiei said, falling backwards and lying in the grass, his fingers linked behind his head.
"Thanks," the dog demon said sarcastically.
...
That night... When it was all dark and scary and the stars were shiny-whiny, Eclipse sat up and looked around. A second later, Shadow sat up and looked around. They stared at each other with happy smiles.
"Nice to meet you!" Shadow said excitedly, shaking hands with Eclipse.
"Nice to meet you, too! How are you?"
"I am peachy! How are you?"
"Cherry!"
"Wow!"
"What's your name?"
"I'm Bob! What's yours?"
"I'm George!"
"Wanna be best friends?!"
"Yeah! Let's build a fort!"
"Okay!"
They said this all in overly cheerful and excited voices, like it was the most amazing thing. The two psycho girls unchained themselves and skipped away, singing, "I've got a new best fri-end, I've got a new best fri-end!"
Five minutes later, the two psychos came back carrying four relatively straight branches... And Hiei's cloak. They stuck the branches in the ground in a square around Sesshoumaru (who God knows how he slept through them 'meeting' each other) and draped Hiei's cloak over it. Then they stared at it with awe.
"How'd that get there?" they asked, amazement clear on their stupid-smile faces.
"I dunno..." Shadow answered.
"Let's go inside!" Eclipse said.
Like there's much 'inside,' but they went and sat under the cloak on opposite sides of Sesshoumaru, chaining his wrists to the sticks. After completing this, they stared at him for a second.
"How did he get here?"
"Are we supposed to be worshipping him?"
"Is he our god?"
They stared at each other for a minute before saying, "Wow..."
"Nice to meet you," Shadow said in the same awed voice, shaking hands with Eclipse.
"Nice to meet you, too... How are you?"
"I am peachy, how are you?"
"I'm fine... What's your name?"
"Fred. What's yours?"
"Joe. Wanna be best friends?"
"Sure!"
"Wow..."
They stopped shaking hands and glanced away, stupid smiles on their faces. They noticed each other and stared in awe.
"Nice to meet you," Eclipse said, shaking Shadow's hand.
"It is... How are you?"
"I am fine! How are you?"
"Peachy... What's your name?"
"Tom... What's yours?"
"Jerry. Wanna be best friends?"
"Yeah!"
"Woohoo!"
They stopped shaking hands. At this point, Sesshoumaru was awake. He looked at them for a second.
"What the hell's your problems?"
Their heads snapped down and they stared at him with wide eyes.
"Wow..."
"It can talk..."
"Wow..."
"O-kay..." Sesshoumaru said. "Um..."
The girls looked at each other.
"Wow... Nice to meet you..."
This went on until daylight, when Hiei came looking for his cloak, not in the best of moods. He snatched it off the sticks and glared at the girls.
"What the hell are you doing?"
They, meanwhile, had gone through every single name they could think of... Except...
"Great... What's your name?"
"Uh... Hiei... What's yours?"
"I'm... uh... Yusuke! Wanna be best friends?"
"Okay!"
"Quick, do something before I kill them," Sesshoumaru snapped. "They've been at it for hours. They've said every guy's name ever invented! They've used every adjective for 'fine' at least four times! They've even said it all in different accents and languages! But every time with the same stupid, clueless awe in their voices. They think they need to WORSHIP me!"
"...Is that bad? I mean, being worshipped... Is there something wrong with--"
"I DON'T CARE IF THEY WORSHIP ME! BUT THEY'RE SO STUPID ABOUT IT, IT'S REALLY ANNOYING!"
"Oh... Um..."
Shadow and Eclipse jumped up and grabbed Hiei's hands.
"Nice to meet you!" they said in unison, shaking his hands. "How'd you get here? Are you God?"
"See what I mean?" Sesshoumaru asked.
"What's going on?" Inuyasha asked, sitting up. They looked over at him and darted over, grabbing his hands and kneeling beside him.
"Are you an angel?"
"Let go of me," Inuyasha snapped, trying to pull his hands away. They stuck to him like glue.
"Are we supposed to worship you?"
"Wow... Fluffy ears..." Shadow said, touching Inuyasha's ears. "You must be a God... Another God... Are we supposed to worship you?"
"Get off me!" Inuyasha snapped, jerking his hands away.
They went through this with every... single... guy... Even Shippou... When they got to Miroku... Last... Well...
"Wow... Are you a God?" they asked, awed. Still. "Are we supposed to worship you?"
Miroku had observed the entire time and formulated a plan. "You can be my servants."
"Wow..." they said.
"And your first task will be to bear my children."
"MIROKU!" everybody shouted.
"What?! They seem only too happy! Look at them!" the monk said.
Okay, so they looked happy, but...
Hiei walked over and dragged Shadow off Miroku and threw her in the river. She sank like a rock, but resurfaced a second later.
"WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!"
"She's back," he said. She stalked up to him and punched him in the head. "Ow!"
"Hiei..." Miroku whined.
"What? You know Shadow doesn't want to bear your children! I was saving you a lot of pain," Hiei said.
"Fine. I'll just have Eclipse do it."
"Hey Eclipse! There's a giant frog in the river eating your breakfast," Shadow said.
"FROG? FOOD? WHERE?"
"The RIVER!" Shadow said, booting Eclipse and sending her flying into the river.
"Hey, Sesshoumaru just ran into the forest," Youko said dryly, pointing.
"WHAT? DAMN YOU FOR NOT STOPPING HIM!" Shadow screamed, frying Youko severely then running off after him, but not before dragging Eclipse out of the river.
"WAIT, FLUFFY!"
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
MY GOD! Fluffy's escaped! Will they recapture him? OOOOOH NOOOO! THE SUSPENSE IS KILLING YOU, ISN'T IT?
ETU: Ummmm... Wednesday at the latest, I'd say. Howdy doo! Yeeha! Run away!
... I'm okay. Honestly. I am.
And indeed, I am aware that he could have escaped the second they chained him to a bunch of sticks... But the mighty authoress did not wish it.