Author's Note: Much thanks to everyone who helped to put me over 200
reviews! That more than surpasses the response I thought I'd get when I
first started posting.
Disclaimer: I own nothing related to Gilmore Girls. The chapter title is paraphrased song lyrics from Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers. If it's not recognizable from the show, well, that I own.
Chapter Seventeen: Had It Good . . . Want It Better
December 2005
The phone was ringing mercilessly, piercing through Rory's head. With an exasperated groan, she shoved open her bedroom door and shouted into the living area of the suite.
"Paris, answer the phone!"
"I can't," came the shrill reply. "I'm studying!"
"So am I! If I stop here, I'll lose my train of thought and this paragraph won't come out right!"
"I'm not exactly doodling bunnies over here!" Paris called back. "Besides, you're closer to the phone!"
"What?"
"I counted. Your room is four steps closer to the phone!"
Rory shoved away from her desk and stormed into the living room. "Paris, that is the most asinine thing I've ever heard! And I don't even think it's true!"
Paris's head appeared around her door frame. "It's not. But now that you're up, get the phone."
"Evil!" Rory sighed as Paris only smirked and went back to studying. Grabbing the phone, she issued a terse, "Hello?"
"What else are you hiding from me?"
"Mom?"
"Do you know what's in the special sauce or the secret behind The Colonel's eleven herbs and spices?" Lorelai was sounding distinctly hysterical and irate, never a good combination.
Rory sank down on the sofa, bewildered. "Mom, what are you talking about?"
"I'm talking about you not telling me that Christopher and Sherry are having another baby!"
"How did you find out about that?" Rory wanted to know. She'd been very careful to keep that information from her mother. Of course, that didn't mean that she couldn't have found out from Emily or another member of the Hartford circle.
"Certainly not from anyone who trusted me enough to not freak out," Lorelai snarled. "I found their letter in your room. Rory, she's almost five months pregnant! Did you really think I wouldn't find out somehow?"
Rory'd had enough of being snapped at. "Well, Mom, you really didn't. I got that letter in August, so Sherry's more like eight months along by now."
"WHAT?"
"And you really are freaking out," Rory continued to justify, "so I think not telling you was sort of the right way to go, here. And what were you doing looking under my mattress anyway?"
"I was looking for one of my shoes," Lorelai said. "That's not important. What's important is that you lied to me."
"How would your shoe get under my mattress?"
"Stop changing the subject, Rory. How could you not tell me about this?"
"Because I didn't want this to happen! And it's not my place to tell you; it's Dad's. He's the one you should be yelling at."
"Yeah, well, I called Chris, but he wasn't home," Lorelai pouted. "Why wasn't I important enough to tell?"
Rory sighed. "I can't speak for Dad, but I didn't tell you because you're important. I didn't want you to flip out like you're doing now."
Lorelai sighed dramatically. "You still should have told me."
"I know. I'm sorry, but I was just so upset when I found out; I didn't know what to say to you."
"Have you talked to Chris lately?"
"Yeah," Rory said after some hesitation. "He called the other night again. And I had to talk to Sherry, lucky me."
"She still disgustingly perky and organizing her pregnancy down to the last millisecond?" Lorelai asked with a laugh.
Rory laughed too. "She's trying, but I don't think she's having quite as easy a time as she did with Gigi."
"I still think she's setting that kid up to be a stripper with that name."
"She's already got her in dance lessons," Rory confirmed. "So maybe she'll be more like a 'Flashdance' arty exotic dancer than a birthday cake jumping bump and grind kind of girl."
"Nah, let's hope not."
"Mom!" Rory tried valiantly to be offended on Gigi's behalf but failed miserably and started laughing a moment later. "It's still not a nice thing to say about such a little girl."
Lorelai's laughter slowly tapered off. "Let Mommy have her fun, sweetie. She's trying not to spiral into depression."
"Okay," Rory promised, "but at least they don't want to see you. Dad asked me to come visit soon."
"And you told him 'no' right away, right?"
Hesitating again, Rory answered, "I told him I'd think about it." She held her breath, waiting for her mother to yell or cry or become hysterical again.
It didn't happen. "As long as you think it through. Don't let him guilt you into doing something you don't want to do," Lorelai said evenly.
"Who are you and what have you done to my mother?" Rory demanded.
"Still me, babe. Promise," Lorelai swore. "But maybe, just maybe, I learned my lesson in trying to tell you what to do about Jess. I don't want us to fight like that again."
Rory smiled and sighed happily. "Me either. I'll let you know when I decide what I'm going to do, okay?"
"Okay. I'll let you go back to your books. Study hard."
"I will. I love you, Mom."
"Love you, too, Rory. Bye-bye."
"Bye," Rory said and hung up. She was going to replace the cordless phone but instead crept across the room and quietly set the phone just to the side of Paris's door . . . just in case.
Later that evening, Rory looked up from her books and winced at the crick in her neck. She massaged the nape of her neck and sighed. It was dark outside now, the entire Saturday had been spent at her desk. The only consolation was that it was December and not May, so there was little temptation to go outside. Getting up with a creak, Rory shuffled into the main room of the suite and over to the small refrigerator. Several slices of leftover pizza were waiting there to appease her rumbling stomach. Retrieving them and munching happily, Rory spotted the phone still laying near Paris's door. Rory bent, picked it up, and took it back to her room. She swallowed the last bite of the pizza she'd nearly inhaled and dialed at the same time.
"Yeah?" Jess asked when he finally picked up on the other end.
"Hey," Rory replied, "I wasn't sure if you were going to be home on a Saturday night."
"I am home," he confirmed.
"No exciting plans with Dana tonight?" Rory was genuinely interested and not asking out of some sense of obligation. She wasn't going to be close friends with Dana anytime soon, but she was a lot more comfortable with the other woman's presence in Jess's life.
Jess sighed wearily. "Nope. She's at a birthday party for her grandmother. I politely refused to go. That family hates me, and the feeling is more than mutual."
Rory laughed. "They can't be that bad."
"Right," he scoffed. "Neither one of my jobs requires me to wear a suit and carry a briefcase. As far as they're concerned, I am Satan incarnate, and I'm continuing to lead their precious little girl astray by encouraging her art."
"Well, didn't you know art was the road to Hell? You evil, evil man, you."
"Stop mocking me."
"But it's so much fun," Rory protested.
"Don't make me start," Jess warned.
"Start what? What have I done that mock-worthy lately?" she wanted to know.
Jess's smirk was audible. "How's the boyfriend? What's his name again?"
Rory groaned. She'd finally started dating, and it had made dealing with her separation from Jess easier. But unlike her, Jess dealt the with his resulting conflicting emotions by making snide jokes and comments instead of crying and screaming. "I knew I never should've told you about him. He's fine by the way."
"Uh-huh. That's good, but what's his name?"
"You know his name, Jess. I've told you at least a dozen times before."
"But I keep forgetting," he continued to tease.
Rory sighed but it was mirthful and not maudlin. "I hate you, and I'm sure if he ever met you Sigmund would hate you too."
Jess couldn't contain a snicker. "Sigmund! That's it; I don't know why I can never remember that."
"Because you get some kind of bizarre pleasure in tormenting me," Rory reminded him.
"Maybe I do," he agreed. "Perhaps you can have Siggy psychoanalyze me sometime."
"He's studying business, not psychology. You need to find a new joke."
"But that one's still funny," Jess protested.
Rory snorted. "Only to you."
He laughed and protested, "Nah, it's funny to Jimmy, too."
"Then you can inform him that I hate him as well," Rory mock-huffed. She flopped back on her bed and grinned as Jess continued to laugh softly in her ear. A small tendril of guilt wrapped around her throat when she noticed the array of movie tickets she'd saved from dates with Sigmund tacked to her bulletin board. Rolling to her other side, Rory pushed those thoughts out of her mind and focused again on what Jess was saying.
". . . things with your dad?" was the end of the question he'd been asking.
"I'm not sure what to do there," she sighed. "Mom just found the letter I tried to hide from her; she knows Sherry's pregnant now. She didn't take it well."
"I told you it was a stupid idea to try and hide it from her."
"I know, I know. I just didn't know what to say, and then it sort of got too late to say anything."
Jess sighed and made an agreeable noise in his throat. "Yeah, I understand, but you still should have told her or told your dad to tell her. I sort of feel like the voice of experience on what happens when you wait too long to tell people things."
"Yeah," Rory whispered, thinking back on all the things Jess should have told her, or she should have told him, when they happened instead of letting them fester and erupt. She stayed silent and tried to swallow down the guilt that was creeping up again.
"I didn't make you cry again, did I?" Jess asked, guilt of his own roughening his voice.
"No," she assured him, "I was just thinking about things."
"Good or bad things?" he wanted to know.
"Confusing things," she finally admitted. "I just have so much on my mind right now . . . it's been a long day."
"Anything I can do?"
Rory sighed heavily and curled tighter into a ball on the bed. "I don't know; it doesn't really have anything to do with you for once," she half- lied. She was feeling more than a little bad about confiding in Jess when she couldn't tell the same things to her boyfriend. "It's just this mess with my mom and Dad and Sherry. And it's just going to get messier."
"Why's that?"
"They want me to visit them before the baby's born. It would have to be right after Christmas," Rory said quietly. "I don't want to go, to see them as a family, but I don't want to hurt my dad any more than I already have, but then there's Mom's feelings. She said it was my decision, but . . . . I don't know what to do."
Jess spoke evenly and with much more wisdom than he or Rory expected. "I think you have to go see your dad, Rory. Show them that even though it hurts, you can put it past you and be an adult even when they can't seem to."
"Be the bigger person and shove it in their faces?" Rory asked.
"Well, I was trying not to say it that way, but yes," Jess agreed. "It can only be as horrible as you let it be,"
"You don't know my dad or Sherry, Jess. She doesn't much care what anyone else has in mind. Everything has to be her way or no way."
"Okay. So, if she really gets to you, you can always do what I'd do."
Rory laughed, "Something petty that she won't notice for awhile, but when she does will really make her mad?"
"Exactly."
She laughed harder. "Did you have any suggestions?"
Jess was silent in thought for a moment. "Steal her cell phone and make long distance calls 'til the battery dies?"
"Wow, that's kinda lame for you. I was expecting something much grander," Rory told Jess.
"Yeah, I think I need to spend less time with Lily. I'm regressing to a ten-year-old's sense of revenge." Jess sighed and sounded a little ashamed of himself. "Last week I licked my finger and stuck it in a cupcake so no one else would eat it."
"My mother still does that," Rory revealed with a giggle.
"I rest my case," Jess said with finality.
Rory sobered suddenly. "Oh, god, what am I going to tell my mom? She's going to hate me going to Boston."
"Lorelai will understand, I think. It's not like you want to come visit me again," he said dryly.
"True. She'd really hate that."
"Yeah, I might turn you into an artist bound for damnation."
"That would probably require me to have some kind of artistic talent," Rory reminded him.
Jess laughed. "Good point. I've seen you draw. Not pretty."
"Yeah, well, I don't remember you even being in an art class," she shot back.
"And I'm not taking one now."
"What?" Rory asked. "What does that mean, not taking one now?"
"I've been taking a couple of classes at the community college this semester. English, composition, nothing that exciting."
"Jess! Why didn't you say anything? That's great!"
"Ah, jeez, stop," Jess groaned. "I have enough cheerleaders out here. I don't need you doing it too. Sasha and Lily won't shut up about how proud they are; Dana made me put my first A on my refrigerator and dug it out of the trash every time I tried to get rid of it."
"That's kind of sweet," Rory admitted reluctantly.
"No, it's kind of annoying," he protested. "I'm a little afraid of what might happen if I get an A on a final. If there are streamers I won't be responsible for my actions."
Rory mewled in disappointment. "You just can't let anyone be happy for you, can you?"
"Only in very small doses, and they've all been used up this year."
"Year's almost over," she told him. "A few more weeks and you'll have to let us be happy for you again."
He groaned. "Yeah, yeah, until about February when my patience runs out again. Anyway, I should let you go. We've both got finals to study for."
"Ack, more studying. Just what I want to do," Rory grumbled.
Jess agreed, "Yeah, tell me about it. I can't believe I'm willingly putting myself through it this time."
"At least if you're paying for it out of your own pocket you're more inclined to go to class, right?"
"In theory, sure. In practice? Not so much."
"Jess! You have to go to classes!" Rory's voice rose sharply. The last thing she wanted was for Jess to languish and fail again.
"Rory!" he mimicked. "I'm going to class. Chill. It's just so much fun to get a rise out of you."
"Well, don't. I've got enough to worry about without adding you to the list."
"Fine," he acquiesced, "I'll stop for now. Just relax, okay? Let me know how things go with your dad."
"I will," Rory promised. "You study hard, now. Make us proud," she teased.
"Sure thing, Mom," Jess sniped back. "I'll talk to you later."
"Bye," Rory said and waited for the dial tone to sound in her ear before hanging up herself. The phone fell with a plop to the mattress next to her, and she twisted her head to look over at the desk. It was a miracle it hadn't toppled over under the weight of all the books and papers piled on top of it. Sighing, she took up the phone again.
"Hi, Mommy. I have something I want to tell you," Rory said when it was picked up on the other end.
"And what's that Daughter?" Lorelai asked, sounding much calmer than she had earlier.
"After Christmas, I'm going to visit Dad and Sherry."
Lorelai drew in a sharp breath. "You mean like a day trip?"
"No," Rory drawled. "I thought I'd stay a few days . . . maybe for New Year's. I haven't talked to Dad yet, so I don't know what their plans are. Nothing's set in stone or anything."
"I see," Lorelai said, her attempts to remain calm apparent over the phone. "Well, if that's what you want to do."
"Mom, don't be mad. I just don't . . . he's my dad," Rory said feebly.
"I know, babe. And I'm not mad, really I'm not." Lorelai sighed. "I just didn't think you'd make a decision so soon."
"Yeah, well, I talked to Jess, and . . ."
"Jess," Lorelai broke in, "I see. So that's reason one hundred and twelve on my 'Why I Hate Jess' list."
"Mom, don't. He just helped me sort it out; he didn't tell me what to do. Anyway, if it's awful, I can just find some way to irritate Sherry. I'll teach Gigi the macarena or get her hooked on pork rinds or something."
Lorelai broke into giggles. "That's my girl!"
"I try," Rory giggled back. "But I should get back to studying. I just wanted you to know what I was planning on doing right away so we could avoid another fight."
"I appreciate that, but don't think it lets you off the hook for hiding that letter. We're still going to have a talk about that when you're done with finals."
"Okay," Rory sighed. "I love you, Mom."
"Love you too, sweetie," Lorelai said and then hung up the phone.
Rory hung up for the second time that night and debated making a third call to Christopher and Sherry. Ultimately deciding that she didn't have the energy for such a call, Rory went back to her books. At least they wouldn't gush false thanks all over her for paying attention to them like Sherry would.
December 29, 2005
Rory made a dash for the bathroom and frantically clicked the lock in place. Leaning back against the closed door and sinking to the floor, she flipped open her cell phone and dialed swiftly.
"Yeah?"
"Oh, my god, this is awful!"
Jess laughed. "What happened?"
"My dad is working late, and Sherry won't leave me alone," Rory wailed. "She keeps wanting to show me how swollen her ankles are and to ask me if I think her stretch marks are getting worse."
"What?" Jess sounded horrified.
"It's as bad as you're imagining," Rory whimpered. "When she had Georgia, she barely gained any weight anywhere other than her stomach, but this time she's blown up like a parade balloon. And she keeps wanting me to look at different swollen body parts and assure her that they'll go back to normal and that she's not fat."
"Okay, you said she was weird; you didn't tell me she was crazy."
"Didn't I? My mistake. She's completely batshit. Now you know."
Jess faked a gasp. "Rory Gilmore, did you just swear?"
"Yes, yes I did," Rory said without remorse. "See what this woman has reduced me to?"
"Then why don't you just go home?" he asked.
"I promised Gigi I'd stay for New Year's Eve. I can't just up and leave," Rory said. "She's my little sister."
"That you've seen, what, twice?" Jess wanted to know. "You don't owe the kid; you hardly know her."
"Yeah, and that's partially my fault." A knocking behind Rory's head caused her to look up. The doorknob rattled ominously.
"Rory?" Sherry asked from the hall. "Are you in there, honey? I need you to look at something for me."
"Just a minute, and I'll be right there," Rory responded weakly. Into the phone she hissed, "God, what now? An hour ago she asked me if her knees were uneven. What can I possibly have left to look at?"
"You won't know unless you go out there," Jess told her.
Rory whimpered again. "I don't wanna go! You go for me."
He laughed. "That's gonna be a neat trick with me on another coast. Can't you just call Sigmund and have him come rescue you?"
"We've only been dating for a couple of months. It's way too soon to subject him to the horrors of my step-family. Besides, he's at home in Indianapolis."
"Then it looks like you're going to have to suffer for a few more days."
She heaved a sigh. "Looks like. Pray that I won't be permanently scarred. Or that she doesn't snap and kill me during one of her mood swings."
"I'll get right on that," he laughed.
Reaching up and unlocking the door, Rory tried to force her face into a cheerful expression. "Bye."
Exiting the bathroom cautiously, Rory looked toward the living room and saw Sherry's feet propped up on the couch. Gigi was sitting on the floor and caught sight of Rory. The toddler waved frantically, grinning broadly at Rory. Steeling herself, Rory waved back and went into the living room to play with the beaming girl. At least one member of the Tinsdale-Hayden household was proving to be relatively sane.
Jess hung up the phone, still laughing quietly. A scratching noise from the couch made him turn his head.
"Don't move," Dana commanded. "I'm almost done."
Jess moved anyway. "Quit drawing me."
"Well, I have to now," she grumbled. "You couldn't have stood there for two more minutes?"
"You've drawn me more times than I can count. You don't need me to stand still for you anymore," he said flopping down next to her and look at the drawing. "You sketched me on the phone?"
Dana smudged a few lines and shrugged. "You're always on the phone. And how is Rory tonight?"
"She's fine," he said, missing the irritated tone in Dana's voice. "Her step-mother is driving her crazy."
"Mmmm, that's too bad."
Jess leaned back and looked at Dana, finally noticing the tension in her neck and shoulders. "What's wrong?"
Dana shook her head, ponytail swinging wildly. "Nothing. It's nothing."
"Then look at me."
She turned and broke under Jess's questioning stare. "Why don't you want to spend New Year's Eve with me?"
"It's not that I don't want to," he said, "but Jimmy and Sasha couldn't find a sitter. I volunteered. I didn't think it would be that big a deal. You know you can come with me."
"And listen to Lily go on and on about Rory? Thanks, but I'll pass."
Jess groaned and rubbed a hand over his face. "So this isn't about New Year's; this is about Rory."
"What if it is?" Dana snapped. "I'm tired of being second to phone calls."
"You knew when we started seeing each other how things were, and you were okay with that!" he snarled.
"It's not okay anymore! I love you, Jess," Dana cried. "And you don't seem to care!"
He shoved to his feet and paced across the room. "It's not that I don't care. I do care about you, a lot, but I can't make myself feel something that I don't. You don't want me to lie to you, do you?"
"No." She sighed and folded up her sketch pad. "I'm leaving."
"Yeah, okay," Jess said. "We can talk about this later."
Dana shook her head. "No, I mean that I'm leaving for good."
"What?" Jess was dumbstruck. He knew it the back of his mind that this would happen someday, but he wasn't expecting it like this.
"I got accepted into this really great art program in Chicago," she revealed. "They're giving me a scholarship and everything. I start next semester, the end of January."
"When were you planning on telling me?"
"I was going to wait until after the first of the year, but I just can't any longer. I think I need to have some time away from you before I leave." Dana swallowed and stood shakily. "So, I'm going to go, and I'm not coming back."
Jess slumped against the wall near the door. He could only watch silently as Dana collected her things and crossed to the door. Before she could turn the knob, he reached out and grasped her wrist gently.
"Good luck at school," he said softly. Leaning down, he brushed a soft kiss against her lips. "I will miss you."
"I'll miss you, too." Dana reached up and cupped Jess's cheek. "I hope get her back someday, Jess. I think it's the only way you'll be happy."
He blushed and dropped his eyes. "I'm sorry I couldn't make you happy. I hope you can find someone who will really appreciate how special you are."
Dana smiled and bushed her thumb over Jess's lips one last time before she pulled the door open and disappeared down the stairs.
Jess stared at the closed door for a long moment before turning and stumbling over to his bed. He collapsed onto it and looked up that ceiling, thinking about what Dana had said. Time and time again he'd tried to convince himself that he would eventually find happiness with out Rory, but maybe . . .just maybe . . . that would prove to be impossible.
Author's Note the Second: I know this chapter was a bit boring; the next one will be better. Reviews are appreciated as always.
Disclaimer: I own nothing related to Gilmore Girls. The chapter title is paraphrased song lyrics from Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers. If it's not recognizable from the show, well, that I own.
Chapter Seventeen: Had It Good . . . Want It Better
December 2005
The phone was ringing mercilessly, piercing through Rory's head. With an exasperated groan, she shoved open her bedroom door and shouted into the living area of the suite.
"Paris, answer the phone!"
"I can't," came the shrill reply. "I'm studying!"
"So am I! If I stop here, I'll lose my train of thought and this paragraph won't come out right!"
"I'm not exactly doodling bunnies over here!" Paris called back. "Besides, you're closer to the phone!"
"What?"
"I counted. Your room is four steps closer to the phone!"
Rory shoved away from her desk and stormed into the living room. "Paris, that is the most asinine thing I've ever heard! And I don't even think it's true!"
Paris's head appeared around her door frame. "It's not. But now that you're up, get the phone."
"Evil!" Rory sighed as Paris only smirked and went back to studying. Grabbing the phone, she issued a terse, "Hello?"
"What else are you hiding from me?"
"Mom?"
"Do you know what's in the special sauce or the secret behind The Colonel's eleven herbs and spices?" Lorelai was sounding distinctly hysterical and irate, never a good combination.
Rory sank down on the sofa, bewildered. "Mom, what are you talking about?"
"I'm talking about you not telling me that Christopher and Sherry are having another baby!"
"How did you find out about that?" Rory wanted to know. She'd been very careful to keep that information from her mother. Of course, that didn't mean that she couldn't have found out from Emily or another member of the Hartford circle.
"Certainly not from anyone who trusted me enough to not freak out," Lorelai snarled. "I found their letter in your room. Rory, she's almost five months pregnant! Did you really think I wouldn't find out somehow?"
Rory'd had enough of being snapped at. "Well, Mom, you really didn't. I got that letter in August, so Sherry's more like eight months along by now."
"WHAT?"
"And you really are freaking out," Rory continued to justify, "so I think not telling you was sort of the right way to go, here. And what were you doing looking under my mattress anyway?"
"I was looking for one of my shoes," Lorelai said. "That's not important. What's important is that you lied to me."
"How would your shoe get under my mattress?"
"Stop changing the subject, Rory. How could you not tell me about this?"
"Because I didn't want this to happen! And it's not my place to tell you; it's Dad's. He's the one you should be yelling at."
"Yeah, well, I called Chris, but he wasn't home," Lorelai pouted. "Why wasn't I important enough to tell?"
Rory sighed. "I can't speak for Dad, but I didn't tell you because you're important. I didn't want you to flip out like you're doing now."
Lorelai sighed dramatically. "You still should have told me."
"I know. I'm sorry, but I was just so upset when I found out; I didn't know what to say to you."
"Have you talked to Chris lately?"
"Yeah," Rory said after some hesitation. "He called the other night again. And I had to talk to Sherry, lucky me."
"She still disgustingly perky and organizing her pregnancy down to the last millisecond?" Lorelai asked with a laugh.
Rory laughed too. "She's trying, but I don't think she's having quite as easy a time as she did with Gigi."
"I still think she's setting that kid up to be a stripper with that name."
"She's already got her in dance lessons," Rory confirmed. "So maybe she'll be more like a 'Flashdance' arty exotic dancer than a birthday cake jumping bump and grind kind of girl."
"Nah, let's hope not."
"Mom!" Rory tried valiantly to be offended on Gigi's behalf but failed miserably and started laughing a moment later. "It's still not a nice thing to say about such a little girl."
Lorelai's laughter slowly tapered off. "Let Mommy have her fun, sweetie. She's trying not to spiral into depression."
"Okay," Rory promised, "but at least they don't want to see you. Dad asked me to come visit soon."
"And you told him 'no' right away, right?"
Hesitating again, Rory answered, "I told him I'd think about it." She held her breath, waiting for her mother to yell or cry or become hysterical again.
It didn't happen. "As long as you think it through. Don't let him guilt you into doing something you don't want to do," Lorelai said evenly.
"Who are you and what have you done to my mother?" Rory demanded.
"Still me, babe. Promise," Lorelai swore. "But maybe, just maybe, I learned my lesson in trying to tell you what to do about Jess. I don't want us to fight like that again."
Rory smiled and sighed happily. "Me either. I'll let you know when I decide what I'm going to do, okay?"
"Okay. I'll let you go back to your books. Study hard."
"I will. I love you, Mom."
"Love you, too, Rory. Bye-bye."
"Bye," Rory said and hung up. She was going to replace the cordless phone but instead crept across the room and quietly set the phone just to the side of Paris's door . . . just in case.
Later that evening, Rory looked up from her books and winced at the crick in her neck. She massaged the nape of her neck and sighed. It was dark outside now, the entire Saturday had been spent at her desk. The only consolation was that it was December and not May, so there was little temptation to go outside. Getting up with a creak, Rory shuffled into the main room of the suite and over to the small refrigerator. Several slices of leftover pizza were waiting there to appease her rumbling stomach. Retrieving them and munching happily, Rory spotted the phone still laying near Paris's door. Rory bent, picked it up, and took it back to her room. She swallowed the last bite of the pizza she'd nearly inhaled and dialed at the same time.
"Yeah?" Jess asked when he finally picked up on the other end.
"Hey," Rory replied, "I wasn't sure if you were going to be home on a Saturday night."
"I am home," he confirmed.
"No exciting plans with Dana tonight?" Rory was genuinely interested and not asking out of some sense of obligation. She wasn't going to be close friends with Dana anytime soon, but she was a lot more comfortable with the other woman's presence in Jess's life.
Jess sighed wearily. "Nope. She's at a birthday party for her grandmother. I politely refused to go. That family hates me, and the feeling is more than mutual."
Rory laughed. "They can't be that bad."
"Right," he scoffed. "Neither one of my jobs requires me to wear a suit and carry a briefcase. As far as they're concerned, I am Satan incarnate, and I'm continuing to lead their precious little girl astray by encouraging her art."
"Well, didn't you know art was the road to Hell? You evil, evil man, you."
"Stop mocking me."
"But it's so much fun," Rory protested.
"Don't make me start," Jess warned.
"Start what? What have I done that mock-worthy lately?" she wanted to know.
Jess's smirk was audible. "How's the boyfriend? What's his name again?"
Rory groaned. She'd finally started dating, and it had made dealing with her separation from Jess easier. But unlike her, Jess dealt the with his resulting conflicting emotions by making snide jokes and comments instead of crying and screaming. "I knew I never should've told you about him. He's fine by the way."
"Uh-huh. That's good, but what's his name?"
"You know his name, Jess. I've told you at least a dozen times before."
"But I keep forgetting," he continued to tease.
Rory sighed but it was mirthful and not maudlin. "I hate you, and I'm sure if he ever met you Sigmund would hate you too."
Jess couldn't contain a snicker. "Sigmund! That's it; I don't know why I can never remember that."
"Because you get some kind of bizarre pleasure in tormenting me," Rory reminded him.
"Maybe I do," he agreed. "Perhaps you can have Siggy psychoanalyze me sometime."
"He's studying business, not psychology. You need to find a new joke."
"But that one's still funny," Jess protested.
Rory snorted. "Only to you."
He laughed and protested, "Nah, it's funny to Jimmy, too."
"Then you can inform him that I hate him as well," Rory mock-huffed. She flopped back on her bed and grinned as Jess continued to laugh softly in her ear. A small tendril of guilt wrapped around her throat when she noticed the array of movie tickets she'd saved from dates with Sigmund tacked to her bulletin board. Rolling to her other side, Rory pushed those thoughts out of her mind and focused again on what Jess was saying.
". . . things with your dad?" was the end of the question he'd been asking.
"I'm not sure what to do there," she sighed. "Mom just found the letter I tried to hide from her; she knows Sherry's pregnant now. She didn't take it well."
"I told you it was a stupid idea to try and hide it from her."
"I know, I know. I just didn't know what to say, and then it sort of got too late to say anything."
Jess sighed and made an agreeable noise in his throat. "Yeah, I understand, but you still should have told her or told your dad to tell her. I sort of feel like the voice of experience on what happens when you wait too long to tell people things."
"Yeah," Rory whispered, thinking back on all the things Jess should have told her, or she should have told him, when they happened instead of letting them fester and erupt. She stayed silent and tried to swallow down the guilt that was creeping up again.
"I didn't make you cry again, did I?" Jess asked, guilt of his own roughening his voice.
"No," she assured him, "I was just thinking about things."
"Good or bad things?" he wanted to know.
"Confusing things," she finally admitted. "I just have so much on my mind right now . . . it's been a long day."
"Anything I can do?"
Rory sighed heavily and curled tighter into a ball on the bed. "I don't know; it doesn't really have anything to do with you for once," she half- lied. She was feeling more than a little bad about confiding in Jess when she couldn't tell the same things to her boyfriend. "It's just this mess with my mom and Dad and Sherry. And it's just going to get messier."
"Why's that?"
"They want me to visit them before the baby's born. It would have to be right after Christmas," Rory said quietly. "I don't want to go, to see them as a family, but I don't want to hurt my dad any more than I already have, but then there's Mom's feelings. She said it was my decision, but . . . . I don't know what to do."
Jess spoke evenly and with much more wisdom than he or Rory expected. "I think you have to go see your dad, Rory. Show them that even though it hurts, you can put it past you and be an adult even when they can't seem to."
"Be the bigger person and shove it in their faces?" Rory asked.
"Well, I was trying not to say it that way, but yes," Jess agreed. "It can only be as horrible as you let it be,"
"You don't know my dad or Sherry, Jess. She doesn't much care what anyone else has in mind. Everything has to be her way or no way."
"Okay. So, if she really gets to you, you can always do what I'd do."
Rory laughed, "Something petty that she won't notice for awhile, but when she does will really make her mad?"
"Exactly."
She laughed harder. "Did you have any suggestions?"
Jess was silent in thought for a moment. "Steal her cell phone and make long distance calls 'til the battery dies?"
"Wow, that's kinda lame for you. I was expecting something much grander," Rory told Jess.
"Yeah, I think I need to spend less time with Lily. I'm regressing to a ten-year-old's sense of revenge." Jess sighed and sounded a little ashamed of himself. "Last week I licked my finger and stuck it in a cupcake so no one else would eat it."
"My mother still does that," Rory revealed with a giggle.
"I rest my case," Jess said with finality.
Rory sobered suddenly. "Oh, god, what am I going to tell my mom? She's going to hate me going to Boston."
"Lorelai will understand, I think. It's not like you want to come visit me again," he said dryly.
"True. She'd really hate that."
"Yeah, I might turn you into an artist bound for damnation."
"That would probably require me to have some kind of artistic talent," Rory reminded him.
Jess laughed. "Good point. I've seen you draw. Not pretty."
"Yeah, well, I don't remember you even being in an art class," she shot back.
"And I'm not taking one now."
"What?" Rory asked. "What does that mean, not taking one now?"
"I've been taking a couple of classes at the community college this semester. English, composition, nothing that exciting."
"Jess! Why didn't you say anything? That's great!"
"Ah, jeez, stop," Jess groaned. "I have enough cheerleaders out here. I don't need you doing it too. Sasha and Lily won't shut up about how proud they are; Dana made me put my first A on my refrigerator and dug it out of the trash every time I tried to get rid of it."
"That's kind of sweet," Rory admitted reluctantly.
"No, it's kind of annoying," he protested. "I'm a little afraid of what might happen if I get an A on a final. If there are streamers I won't be responsible for my actions."
Rory mewled in disappointment. "You just can't let anyone be happy for you, can you?"
"Only in very small doses, and they've all been used up this year."
"Year's almost over," she told him. "A few more weeks and you'll have to let us be happy for you again."
He groaned. "Yeah, yeah, until about February when my patience runs out again. Anyway, I should let you go. We've both got finals to study for."
"Ack, more studying. Just what I want to do," Rory grumbled.
Jess agreed, "Yeah, tell me about it. I can't believe I'm willingly putting myself through it this time."
"At least if you're paying for it out of your own pocket you're more inclined to go to class, right?"
"In theory, sure. In practice? Not so much."
"Jess! You have to go to classes!" Rory's voice rose sharply. The last thing she wanted was for Jess to languish and fail again.
"Rory!" he mimicked. "I'm going to class. Chill. It's just so much fun to get a rise out of you."
"Well, don't. I've got enough to worry about without adding you to the list."
"Fine," he acquiesced, "I'll stop for now. Just relax, okay? Let me know how things go with your dad."
"I will," Rory promised. "You study hard, now. Make us proud," she teased.
"Sure thing, Mom," Jess sniped back. "I'll talk to you later."
"Bye," Rory said and waited for the dial tone to sound in her ear before hanging up herself. The phone fell with a plop to the mattress next to her, and she twisted her head to look over at the desk. It was a miracle it hadn't toppled over under the weight of all the books and papers piled on top of it. Sighing, she took up the phone again.
"Hi, Mommy. I have something I want to tell you," Rory said when it was picked up on the other end.
"And what's that Daughter?" Lorelai asked, sounding much calmer than she had earlier.
"After Christmas, I'm going to visit Dad and Sherry."
Lorelai drew in a sharp breath. "You mean like a day trip?"
"No," Rory drawled. "I thought I'd stay a few days . . . maybe for New Year's. I haven't talked to Dad yet, so I don't know what their plans are. Nothing's set in stone or anything."
"I see," Lorelai said, her attempts to remain calm apparent over the phone. "Well, if that's what you want to do."
"Mom, don't be mad. I just don't . . . he's my dad," Rory said feebly.
"I know, babe. And I'm not mad, really I'm not." Lorelai sighed. "I just didn't think you'd make a decision so soon."
"Yeah, well, I talked to Jess, and . . ."
"Jess," Lorelai broke in, "I see. So that's reason one hundred and twelve on my 'Why I Hate Jess' list."
"Mom, don't. He just helped me sort it out; he didn't tell me what to do. Anyway, if it's awful, I can just find some way to irritate Sherry. I'll teach Gigi the macarena or get her hooked on pork rinds or something."
Lorelai broke into giggles. "That's my girl!"
"I try," Rory giggled back. "But I should get back to studying. I just wanted you to know what I was planning on doing right away so we could avoid another fight."
"I appreciate that, but don't think it lets you off the hook for hiding that letter. We're still going to have a talk about that when you're done with finals."
"Okay," Rory sighed. "I love you, Mom."
"Love you too, sweetie," Lorelai said and then hung up the phone.
Rory hung up for the second time that night and debated making a third call to Christopher and Sherry. Ultimately deciding that she didn't have the energy for such a call, Rory went back to her books. At least they wouldn't gush false thanks all over her for paying attention to them like Sherry would.
December 29, 2005
Rory made a dash for the bathroom and frantically clicked the lock in place. Leaning back against the closed door and sinking to the floor, she flipped open her cell phone and dialed swiftly.
"Yeah?"
"Oh, my god, this is awful!"
Jess laughed. "What happened?"
"My dad is working late, and Sherry won't leave me alone," Rory wailed. "She keeps wanting to show me how swollen her ankles are and to ask me if I think her stretch marks are getting worse."
"What?" Jess sounded horrified.
"It's as bad as you're imagining," Rory whimpered. "When she had Georgia, she barely gained any weight anywhere other than her stomach, but this time she's blown up like a parade balloon. And she keeps wanting me to look at different swollen body parts and assure her that they'll go back to normal and that she's not fat."
"Okay, you said she was weird; you didn't tell me she was crazy."
"Didn't I? My mistake. She's completely batshit. Now you know."
Jess faked a gasp. "Rory Gilmore, did you just swear?"
"Yes, yes I did," Rory said without remorse. "See what this woman has reduced me to?"
"Then why don't you just go home?" he asked.
"I promised Gigi I'd stay for New Year's Eve. I can't just up and leave," Rory said. "She's my little sister."
"That you've seen, what, twice?" Jess wanted to know. "You don't owe the kid; you hardly know her."
"Yeah, and that's partially my fault." A knocking behind Rory's head caused her to look up. The doorknob rattled ominously.
"Rory?" Sherry asked from the hall. "Are you in there, honey? I need you to look at something for me."
"Just a minute, and I'll be right there," Rory responded weakly. Into the phone she hissed, "God, what now? An hour ago she asked me if her knees were uneven. What can I possibly have left to look at?"
"You won't know unless you go out there," Jess told her.
Rory whimpered again. "I don't wanna go! You go for me."
He laughed. "That's gonna be a neat trick with me on another coast. Can't you just call Sigmund and have him come rescue you?"
"We've only been dating for a couple of months. It's way too soon to subject him to the horrors of my step-family. Besides, he's at home in Indianapolis."
"Then it looks like you're going to have to suffer for a few more days."
She heaved a sigh. "Looks like. Pray that I won't be permanently scarred. Or that she doesn't snap and kill me during one of her mood swings."
"I'll get right on that," he laughed.
Reaching up and unlocking the door, Rory tried to force her face into a cheerful expression. "Bye."
Exiting the bathroom cautiously, Rory looked toward the living room and saw Sherry's feet propped up on the couch. Gigi was sitting on the floor and caught sight of Rory. The toddler waved frantically, grinning broadly at Rory. Steeling herself, Rory waved back and went into the living room to play with the beaming girl. At least one member of the Tinsdale-Hayden household was proving to be relatively sane.
Jess hung up the phone, still laughing quietly. A scratching noise from the couch made him turn his head.
"Don't move," Dana commanded. "I'm almost done."
Jess moved anyway. "Quit drawing me."
"Well, I have to now," she grumbled. "You couldn't have stood there for two more minutes?"
"You've drawn me more times than I can count. You don't need me to stand still for you anymore," he said flopping down next to her and look at the drawing. "You sketched me on the phone?"
Dana smudged a few lines and shrugged. "You're always on the phone. And how is Rory tonight?"
"She's fine," he said, missing the irritated tone in Dana's voice. "Her step-mother is driving her crazy."
"Mmmm, that's too bad."
Jess leaned back and looked at Dana, finally noticing the tension in her neck and shoulders. "What's wrong?"
Dana shook her head, ponytail swinging wildly. "Nothing. It's nothing."
"Then look at me."
She turned and broke under Jess's questioning stare. "Why don't you want to spend New Year's Eve with me?"
"It's not that I don't want to," he said, "but Jimmy and Sasha couldn't find a sitter. I volunteered. I didn't think it would be that big a deal. You know you can come with me."
"And listen to Lily go on and on about Rory? Thanks, but I'll pass."
Jess groaned and rubbed a hand over his face. "So this isn't about New Year's; this is about Rory."
"What if it is?" Dana snapped. "I'm tired of being second to phone calls."
"You knew when we started seeing each other how things were, and you were okay with that!" he snarled.
"It's not okay anymore! I love you, Jess," Dana cried. "And you don't seem to care!"
He shoved to his feet and paced across the room. "It's not that I don't care. I do care about you, a lot, but I can't make myself feel something that I don't. You don't want me to lie to you, do you?"
"No." She sighed and folded up her sketch pad. "I'm leaving."
"Yeah, okay," Jess said. "We can talk about this later."
Dana shook her head. "No, I mean that I'm leaving for good."
"What?" Jess was dumbstruck. He knew it the back of his mind that this would happen someday, but he wasn't expecting it like this.
"I got accepted into this really great art program in Chicago," she revealed. "They're giving me a scholarship and everything. I start next semester, the end of January."
"When were you planning on telling me?"
"I was going to wait until after the first of the year, but I just can't any longer. I think I need to have some time away from you before I leave." Dana swallowed and stood shakily. "So, I'm going to go, and I'm not coming back."
Jess slumped against the wall near the door. He could only watch silently as Dana collected her things and crossed to the door. Before she could turn the knob, he reached out and grasped her wrist gently.
"Good luck at school," he said softly. Leaning down, he brushed a soft kiss against her lips. "I will miss you."
"I'll miss you, too." Dana reached up and cupped Jess's cheek. "I hope get her back someday, Jess. I think it's the only way you'll be happy."
He blushed and dropped his eyes. "I'm sorry I couldn't make you happy. I hope you can find someone who will really appreciate how special you are."
Dana smiled and bushed her thumb over Jess's lips one last time before she pulled the door open and disappeared down the stairs.
Jess stared at the closed door for a long moment before turning and stumbling over to his bed. He collapsed onto it and looked up that ceiling, thinking about what Dana had said. Time and time again he'd tried to convince himself that he would eventually find happiness with out Rory, but maybe . . .just maybe . . . that would prove to be impossible.
Author's Note the Second: I know this chapter was a bit boring; the next one will be better. Reviews are appreciated as always.