(10-10-04)
This story has 202 reviews. I appreciate all you reader people. Hugs for all... From somebody other than me. I'll hire somebody to hug you cuz I don't like human contact. Kay? :)
Pyschopathic Maniac Girl- Don't worry there, there's definitely more stories coming... I have no life. No lifemore stories.
Hedi Dracona- As am I, thus the insanity of the story...
Risika Karew- Yes I am evil... But I post the last chapter the next day, so be happy.
C. C. C.- Well we all know it's very important to the civilized world that you're happy, right? Maybe it's important to the uncivilized world, too. I don't know these things. But I'm happy that you're happy... Or... whatever.
Shessha's Crazy- I was very upset by Toboe's death even though I knew it was coming. It was kinda sad and happy and sadistically funny at the same time.
sanzoeclipsekuramaarehot- Eep! Okay! :hides, then scoffs: Psshh. Like I'm scared of you... :grins evilly and dances away:
Kuramakicksass- If I go to Hell, it'll be pink and fluffy. I believe Hell is what you despise most (therefore it'd be pink and fluffy for me, and full of like... Orangutans. PINK orangutans. And psychotic drooling fangirls. Wearing pink. Drooling over Hiei. :snarl:).
xkuroxshinobix- Okay, okay...
Mari Youma- Unison IS funny.
Sugarmaster15- I'm confused now.
HanyouToni- Um... Okay. Frosty the Hitman...? Dare I ask?
Drew Poche'- This chapter's only like, 1,500 words... So not much happens. Or maybe it does.
Onward to the short chapter with the scary name. Oh yes, I feel like putting a warning, so...
Warning: Use of the 'f' word and discussion of sex, genitals, and clean bras.
CHAPTER TEN
"Clean Bras Make Me Happy"
"Well... Here's the well."
They were all gathered around the said well.
"Who volunteers?" Yusuke said.
"Shadow does!" Youko said cheerfully, holding Shadow's unconscious carcass above the well by her shirt.
"I can't believe she's still unconscious," Hiei sighed. "How hard did you hit her?"
"No harder than usual..."
"But Koga had his two cents..."
Youko paused. "Wait. She woke up shortly after being pummeled and found me rummaging through her clothes for the key..."
Hiei stared, wide-eyed. "You got in her bra?"
"Well, after I didn't find it there, I frisked her and eventually found it in her pocket..."
"YOU DID WHAT?!" Hiei screamed. "YOU MEAN THE LAST PLACE YOU LOOKED WAS HER POCKET? YOU PSYCHOTIC, DISGUSTING PERVERT!"
"Well, but..."
Youko was saved of excuse-making by a sudden appearance of Koenma, who startled the fox so bad with his abrupt shout of "Good news everyone!" that he dropped Shadow into the well. There was no thud at the end.
"No thud?" they all said, peering into the darkness at the bottom of the well.
"No thud," Koenma confirmed. "I just came to tell you that I successfully removed the barrier between times, so you guys can come home."
"It took you four days?"
"It doesn't really matter. If I'd had it down before now, you wouldn't have even been at the well to go home! So don't complain!" Koenma snapped.
"Right."
"Well... Right now, Shadow's lying unconscious in the bottom of the well at Higurashi Shrine, so I suppose somebody should do something about that," Hiei said dryly. "And NOT YOU, Fox! Friggin' pervert..." He put one hand on the edge of the well and swung his legs over, dropping down and going through the barrier.
"What'd you do?" Koenma asked.
"Long... long story..." Youko muttered.
In the present, Hiei landed in the bottom of the well and found Shadow was not there. He looked up. She was hanging from the top.
"Move, Hiei! I need to go back and say bye to Fluffy!"
"What?!"
Shadow dropped. Hiei, standing in the bottom of the well, plastered himself to the side as Shadow vanished.
In the past, she came flying up out of the well and lunged over several people to get to Sesshoumaru, who, surprisingly, had chosen to travel to the well with them without being chained to anyone, purely because he wanted to see if they'd been telling the truth when they'd informed him of the whole future deal...
She flew to him and hugged him. "I WILL MISS YOU, OH GREAT LORD SESSHOUMARU!"
He just stood there, finally deciding to pat her on the head awkwardly a couple times.
"Okay... Bye," he said, prying her away from him.
"Won't you miss me?"
"Um... I'll never forget you," Sesshoumaru said, then added under his breath, "No matter how much I wish I could..."
"I'd like to trade you in for Youko," Shadow said. "You're a lot nicer."
"Hey..." Youko said pathetically, sounding hurt.
"Shadow," Koenma said. "Stop hugging people."
"Shut up, Koenma!" Shadow stepped away and waved to everyone. "Bye guys! Bye, Koga who just loves me so much! Bye Inuyasha and Miroku, who I'd actually also consider trading for Youko! Bye girls and Shippou and little cat critter!"
Shadow made a great show of stepping into the well, a superhero's exit. Once she was gone, Miroku stared curiously.
"I wonder how she woke up so fast," he said. "She was out for several days before suddenly waking up..."
"She sensed Youko's presence was absent after she got home," Yusuke said. "It made her happy."
"What about that horse?!" Kagome said suddenly.
"Don't let Shadow remember it!" Yusuke said. "Everyone in the well, we're going home! It was nice meeting you all, fun while it lasted, um... Bye!" He jumped down the well, Kuwabara followed, then went Eclipse and Youko.
"Well, that's that," Miroku said after Koenma had gone.
"Yeah..."
Sesshoumaru was already walking away.
"Bye, Fluffy," Inuyasha taunted. His brother stopped, then turned and glared.
"Just because I've been traveling with you for the past week and a half doesn't mean I don't still hate you."
"Of course. I'll keep that in mind."
Sesshoumaru vanished into the forest.
"He's really not all that bad," Kagome observed.
"He has a heart under all that," Miroku added, smiling slightly.
"Alright, alright, enough mooshy observations," Inuyasha said. "Let's get going. We've got to find more Jewel Shards."
"Not quite yet," Kagome said. "I haven't been home for quite some time..." Before Inuyasha could protest, she jumped down the well.
"There she goes again," Miroku sighed. Inuyasha fumed.
Meanwhile, at Higurashi shrine, the Reikai tantei were all out of the well, arguing and shouting and screaming and strangling and pummeling each other like good friends do. Mostly it was Shadow and Youko.
"Hey! What's going on in here?!" Kagome's grandpa, the old man who'd been telling them about the well when the entire thing had started, came rushing to the shrine. Everyone froze and stared in dead silence. With a poof of smoke, Youko went from his beautiful sexy self to the body of Shuichi Minamino, who is also beautiful and sexy, but a good bit more human.
"Hey! Somebody help me up, please!" Kagome shouted from inside the well. "Is anyone there?"
Yusuke, Kuwabara, and Kurama peered over the edge of the well. "Could I have some help?" she repeated, quieter this time. She started up the ladder (there's a ladder, right?) and Kurama helped her over the edge. She looked at him.
"Wait, you're..."
"I wasn't around. You guys were dealing with Youko the entire time."
"Youko is his vulgar, perverted, yet, more dangerous, other self," Shadow said through clenched teeth. "And if I see him any time in the next month, he'll be crawling around on the ground searching for his head."
"Kagome!" the old man said happily. "I'm glad you're here! I've been trying to think of a new illness for your excuses to the school, but I think I've used them all!"
"Tell them a poisonous plant came in contact with her skin and she has a horrid rash," Shadow said. "Or, or, tell them, tell them, um, yeah! Tell them that she has a bad case of sudden acute sinus claustrophobia! Or a slowly building case of an allergic reaction to POTATOES! Then there's always..."
Shadow continued rambling. Kurama blinked.
"Why don't you tell them she has a migraine?" he suggested. Shadow silenced instantly and stared.
"That is a fucking good idea!"
Kurama sighed. "The cussing wasn't necessary."
"Yes it was!" Shadow said, still in the awed tone. Kurama just sighed again.
"If you say so."
"I do!" she said, again in the same tone.
"... Let's go home," Kurama said, grabbing the back of Shadow's collar as he walked by, spinning her around and walking up the stairs dragging her.
"You know, Kurama, if all your educational trips end up turning into a two-week trip to the past, I think we should go on more," Eclipse said, nodding.
"I don't," Hiei said firmly. Shadow was busy rambling, singing, and being painfully dragged down several dozen stairs to add in her two cents worth, or she would have.
"That was really rude of you, Kurama... Just leaving without saying bye to Kagome or saying anything to that old guy..." Kuwabara said.
"We already said bye to Kagome, and if it's deathly important that the old man knows what happened, she can tell him. He's her grandfather, after all."
"... You're not in a very good mood, are you?"
"No. So shut up."
"Right."
Several hours later...
Shadow came running down the stairs. "Clean bras make me hap-py!"
Hiei didn't even bother dignifying that with a verbal response. He just stared at her for a second before putting the bookmark back in his book and walking away, leaving her to sing and wave around a clean bra.
"What? Do you find me embarrassing? We're the only ones in the house. I'm very happy to be home and able to take a shower with hot, clean, running water, what with my soap and shampoo and towel! Girls need more maintenance than guys, even a girl like me. You, Hiei, can stand wearing the same clothes for two weeks without cleaning them, even if you fought and sweated and bled all over them. I, on the other hand... I happen to find it gross that I couldn't shower for two weeks and I smelled a lot like Hobo Joe who sits on the street corner with his harmonica... What do you have to say to that?"
"I'm glad you at least have a few feminine traits aside from your looks," Hiei replied, "because if any girl can go two weeks without showering or changing her clothes and is completely fine with that, even after being shot and bleeding all over the place, that's just disgusting and she needs a lobotomy or something."
"Yes I have feminine traits! What, did you think I was like, a man trapped in a sexy female body? Ewww, and you've kissed me! That means you like kissing MEN!"
"What?!" Hiei yelped. "I have never kissed another man in my life!"
"Oh. Okay. That's good to know. Because if I suddenly found out one day that I'd been living with a gay dude for the past two years, I'd be bothered by that just a little... Okay, maybe more than a little... Maybe a lot. Because... For all I'd know, he was having an affair with my other guy friends, like the one who looks like a girl, or the one who has a girlfriend, or-- Well, I almost said the one who has a major crush on his sister, but that's Kuwabara and if I accused you of fucking Kuwabara, I'd be dead, wouldn't I?"
"Yes, Shadow. You would be dead so fast..."
"Unless I used my wily feminine charm to seduce you then use that to my advantage as I tear off your genitals and run away laughing maniacally."
She noticed Hiei's slight nervous shift to better guard his precious...
Well, you know what I'm talking about.
"You wouldn't do that," Hiei said nervously, not sounding completely sure.
"I know. Because I'd never accuse you of having feral animal sex with Kuwabara, and therefore wouldn't have to think my way out of death in the split nano-second that I'd have to live afterwards."
Hiei just stared for a second. "Right. I'm gonna go... um... away." He turned around and left. Shadow blinked, then looked at the bra she was holding. With a stupid smile, she randomly decided she wanted to wear it on her head, so she did just that, and proceeded to dance away and follow Hiei up the stairs.
Every person Shadow and Eclipse had met in the Warring States Era was mentally scarred for life by the psychotic girls. Sesshoumaru especially, who had to take a long vacation from harassing his little brother. He decided to wander around and look for Rin, since she had no part in this story and a few people asked about her. Inuyasha and his friends went about their shard seeking and all that fun stuff they do on a day-to-day basis.
The Reikai Tantei from the present years went about their regular OOC lives, and Shadow and Eclipse went about their... lives... There is no word to describe their lives. Not normal, weird is an understatement, and OOC is stupid because I'M the one who established their personalities and therefore they cannot act OOC. Unless one of them is actually smart for once.
Anyhow...
Owari!
- - -
The end. Worry not, I have another story done completely and yet another after that which I'm working on chapter one of... If that made sense. Ja mata!