Title: A very perceptive man
Disclaimer: stuff and things. Joss rules, this isn't intended to harm in any way. I make no money. From writing or anything else. I'm very, very broke in fact.
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River sat on the catwalk above the cargo bay, swinging her legs over the edge, humming a little tune. She didn't jump when the captain lowered himself down to sit next to her, although he had made no sound on his approach.
Although she was only humming, Mal was familiar with the tune, and could have inserted the simple words himself. He didn't though. The song was about the Academy, and River didn't need reminding about that place any more than necessary.
That afternoon Inara had announced her plans to leave Serenity. No one had been happy, but the crew were all taking it differently. Jayne was being coarser than usual, Wash and Zoe were sitting silently in the kitchen, their hands twined together. The shepherd was reading his bible, which was not unusual, but his expression said otherwise. Simon was in his room, sitting on his bed and staring into space, his knees pulled up to his chest.
And Kaylee. Kaylee was shut in the engine room. Her quiet sobs could be heard through the door. Mal was sitting next to River now because he had been displaced from his vigil by Inara. Not wishing to have a difficult conversation with the companion, he had simply nodded at her as she approached and ceded his spot outside the rust reddened door.
He had wandered the ship for a while, settling briefly on the bridge, to stare into the star frosted black. He had known about Inara's decision for longer than the rest of the crew, but watching every one else react to it had bought out the pain afresh. As Serenity sailed silently through the endless night of space, he had felt his emptiness mimicked in the cold void that was just a pane of glass away. Sighing, he had continued his patrol of the ship.
The captain had found River in the cargo bay. Her strangely calm demeanour had persuaded him to sit awhile. It was rare to feel such peaceful quiet from the tortured girl. He strongly suspected that she had known about this for at least as long as he had. She had probably known about it before even Inara did.
The hairs on the back of his neck jumped slightly as Inara drifted silently past, heading into her shuttle. He didn't turn to watch her, but her passage meant most likely that Kaylee had cried herself to sleep. He sensed her pause briefly at the shuttle entrance, as though deciding whether to speak to them, but then the door had slid softly closed and River and he had been left alone once again.
'Everyone hurting' commented River quietly.
'Yes' replied the captain simply.
'Don't be sad.'
'Why not?' he asked, turning to look at her for the first time. She just smiled mysteriously. He sighed. 'These mystical powers of yours could really help with some of our business.' Mal grumped without any real seriousness. The smile turned to a grin then disappeared. She cocked her head on the side for a moment. 'Go help Kaylee.'
'When she shuts the door to the engine room, she wants to be left alone'
This provoked a brief shake of the head from the girl. 'Hyenas towards a bird of paradise. Dreams stalking her'
Mal nodded in understanding then rose from his seat next to her. Nightmares were not an unfamiliar experience to the war veteran. He made his way to the other end of the ship, passing Wash and Zoe in the kitchen without acknowledgement. Pausing outside the door to the engine room, he glanced through the small window, but could see only the gently turning engine from his perspective. Sliding it softly open, he stepped hesitantly inside, shutting the door behind him. A brief scan of the room revealed that the mechanic was not in the colourful hammock that she had strung up in one corner. She was instead wedged between the engine and the wall furthest from the door, her head resting against Serenity's hull. Mal could see her troubled expression, and the slight tossing of the head as she tried to escape what ever images reined in her mind. Pressed tight against the wall, hugging herself, she looked tiny and vulnerable to the captain.
As he stood there, uncertain as what to do, she opened her eyes with a gasp. For a moment she seemed disorientated, looking around wildly and grasping for handholds on the wall to pull herself up, but then her eyes met with the captains and a sort of realisation seemed to come. She sank back down into the corner and her normally smiling face formed itself into a picture of abject misery.
'Hey now, I'm not that bad am I?' joked Mal softly as he stepped over to sit down next to her. Kaylee quickly buried her head in the front of his shirt. Tentatively he put his arms around her and pulled her into his lap. She was a small girl, and fit into his embrace easily. Gently, he stroked the back of her head in an attempt to comfort her- an action he had never been very good at.
'Why does 'Nara have to go cap'n?' she moaned into his chest after a few moments, her voice muffled by his shirt.
'You'll have to ask her that one' replied Mal carefully, hugging her tight as a coil of guilt tightened around his stomach.
'But we need her here. Don't want to rent out the shuttle to some politician's husband or something.'
'I won't rent out the shuttle again. It's too much of a risk for Simon and River.'
'Can't you just lock the shuttle in until we're out of port?'
This provoked a small laugh from Mal. 'If I start doing things like that then you know I'll wind up in all sorts of trouble. She ain't afraid of slapping that woman.'
'But…she can't leave.'
'Everyone leaves eventually Kaylee' Mal told her quietly, the brief laughter dying quickly in his throat. In the captain's voice were memories of those who had fought elbow to elbow with him, good men and women that had left for no good reason. 'At least we can still keep in contact with her.'
'It won't be the same' mumbled Kaylee with a small sniffle. Mal realised she was crying. His shirt was wet. Despite his accepting façade he felt like breaking down himself. It was made even worse by the knowledge that it was his fault. Whatever else Inara said about that night before the battle, it had been, at the least, a realisation point for her.
They sat in silence for a long time, Mal finding comfort in consoling Kaylee. When he was sure she was asleep, and with some difficultly, he stood with the small body still cradled to his chest. Carefully, so as not to wake her, he padded out of the engine room, leaving the door open behind him. Wash and Zoe were no longer in the kitchen, and Mal realised it was probably getting quite late. Continuing on to Kaylee's room he was presented with the problem of getting her down the ladder. Sitting down so his legs hung over the edge of the doorway, and using only one hand to hold Kaylee to him, he managed to slide down without bumping the sleeping girl too much.
Laying her down on her bed, he pulled her boots off and drew the covers over her. Sitting on the edge of the bed for a moment, he watched her sleep with a fond smile. She was so young. She had yet to experience one hundredth of the pain that life had to offer. The smile became tinged with sadness as his thoughts swung back to Inara. Placing a kiss on her forehead he quietly he stood and climbed out of the room, shutting the door behind him. Pausing in the corridor for a moment, he glanced at the door of his own room, but was drawn again to the bridge.
Standing before the vista he allowed his identity to diffuse. He had always found a sort of peace in the stars. They dwarfed humanity so utterly that any pain in life was nothing at all in comparison. You could lose yourself out there, by the knowledge that none of it mattered.
'It does matter' came the voice from behind him. Mal did jump, snapping his head round to see River just entering the cockpit. He had thought that he had been alone. She walked on soft feet to stand next to him, gazing out into the black. 'The race counts for the horses.' She continued, not looking at him. A slight confusion on his face, Mal watched her. The expression on her face was one of rapture. Where he found anonymity in the stars, she found wonder.
After a moment, the captain turned his contemplation back to the stars. Some things that River said could not be answered by any one whose mind wandered along vaguely normal tracks. Finding only silence from the captain River turned and exited the bridge. He watched her leave and wander slowly down the corridor, one hand trailing along the wall. His expression quirking slightly, he glanced one last time at the vista before him then followed her lead, lowering himself down the ladder into his room and collapsing into bed.
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That morning they docked in New Melbourne. The crew's mood was sombre. Sitting next to their cargo on the floor of the hold were Inara's possessions, neatly packed into two bags. Her shuttle was weirdly bare. The plan was for her to travel with Jayne, Zoe, Mal, Wash and Book as far as the city centre, where they could find some new work and she could sign on with another ship. That meant Kaylee, Simon and River were saying their goodbyes now.
Mal looked on silently, leaning against the wall of the hold. Simon had reverted to his previous awkward self. The captain couldn't hear Inara's parting words to the doctor, but underneath her smile was sadness. Kaylee was very obviously restraining herself, trying not to break into tears again, and to make the parting a happy one. When Inara drew her into a hug she couldn't hold back any more and a single tear slipped down her cheek. The hug ended and the companion noticed the expression of Kaylee's grief. She wiped away the tear with some more soft words. Kaylee nodded amid another attempt at smiling then moved off, with a final look of desolation over her shoulder.
River was sitting on top of the stacked crates that consisted of their cargo. Her expression was not one of parting grief. Inara walked over to the girl as Jayne began carrying the crates up to the second shuttle. Mal stopped watching Inara and went to help Jayne with the loading, glad to have a distraction.
It did not take long for Wash to pilot the shuttle into a docking bay in the city. Then came time for final goodbyes. Jayne did with a gruff 'See ya Inara' and Zoe with an equally brief handshake. The shepherd wished her luck and Wash hugged her with one of his amusing comments that only highlighted just how sad at her leaving he really was. One by one they said their bits then one by one they made excuses to be no longer in the shuttle. Inara and Mal stood facing one another, each silently watching the other.
'No last ditch attempt to get me to stay?' she asked with a hint of a smile.
'You're mind has been made up; there would be no point. Although,' he added with a wistful smile, 'my mechanic's hair will probably be less well kempt from now on.'
'I had better leave,' she said whilst making no move to do so. 'If you get bored with shipping out on some big travel cruiser, remember that you'll always be welcome on Serenity.' He told her. She acknowledged this with a nod, then, picking up her possessions, she exited the shuttle. Mal waited until he was sure that no one could see him then collapsed against the hull of the shuttle, closing his eyes and leaning his head back to rest on the wall. After a long moment he sighed deeply then picked up the last crate of cargo then followed the rest of the crew, locking the shuttle behind him.
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Even after a week, the atmosphere of the firefly class transport was not the same. The dinner table had an empty chair, and the occasional refuge that they all found in Inara's shuttle from time to time had been removed. And everyone was avoiding the captain.
Mal's temper, short at the best of times, was now never more than a hair away from snapping. The captain skulked around the ship like a sullen storm cloud. Wash had suggested an alternate course to their next job on Toyika, and the resulting shouting match had required Zoe to break it up. After the first couple of days he had gone from being openly angry to simply avoiding or ignoring everyone. On the small ship it wasn't much of an improvement.
River seemed to be affected the worst by the captain's mood and Simon was finding her hard to control. No one said it out loud but they were all looking forwards to their next landfall; simply because it would mean escaping from the captain's brooding presence for a while.
They made port smack on time, only because Zoe had eventually been able to get the captain to see that Wash's flight plan was a better one. Taking his first mate with him to meet up with their buyer, Mal granted the rest of the crew a few hours land time.
In hindsight he realised he probably should have taken Jayne with him as well.
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'FAY-FAY duh PEE yen!' he cursed at the guard as he stumbled upright. The only response he got was the sound of the heavy cell door being locked from the other side. Growling he smacked the solid metal with one fist then turned to survey the cell he had been locked in. It was about the size of his bedroom, with a single barred window that was at the ground level of the unpaved street outside. There was no movement as the exterior world silently baked in the midday sun. The floor was concrete and the walls brick. The orange dust from the empty street covered all horizontal surfaces. The only furniture was a wooden bench along the opposite wall, supported by two chains.
All these details only registered momentarily on his senses though as his brain jumped up and down, screaming to get his attention. The cell had another occupant. He just couldn't believe who it was.
'Wha?' he said in a general query to the world that included who, why, how and, what the hell are you doing here?
'It is good to see you, although I had not hoped that we would be meeting again so soon.'
'Inara?'
'Yes'
'Why the hell are you in an alliance cell on Toyika?'
Inara responded to this with a rueful smile. She was sitting straight backed on the dusty bench, the picture of composed and dignified beauty. Mal- who was sweaty and dusty, with fresh blood trickling down his forehead from the fight with the feds- raised a questioning eyebrow.
'Do you remember Atherton Wing?'
'The piece of gos se I beat up on Persephone?'
'Yes' affirmed the companion with a tolerant smile. 'It appears his influence reaches beyond just his home planet.'
'I thought you said that the guild protected you from things like this' commented Mal, wiping his forehead with his sleeve then ambling over to sit on the bench. With a huge sigh he closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the cold stone wall.
'It protects me against him trying to upset my client base. Not from things like this' she replied, ignoring his collapse onto the bench. He too continued to speak normally, although he remained with his eyes closed and head leaned back.
'So what is 'things like this' then?'
'I've been falsely accused of theft. Why are you in here?'
'I've been rightly accused of theft.'
'After all this time? Why did they catch you now?' her voice was the picture of innocent curiosity, but Mal ignored the implied sarcasm.
'It was a set up. The feds bust in as I was closing the deal. The buyers made a run for it, and I think Zoe got away too, but I was knocked out for a coupla minutes. They musta got me in the paddy-wagon then. It's where I woke up anyway.'
Inara accepted this without a word and they sat in silence for a while.
'You know…' said Mal eventually, slowly speaking what he had been thinking, 'it seems a pretty large coincidence that not only are we on the same planet at the same time, but also that we end up in the same jail cell.'
'Are you implying that I got myself and you locked up just to see you again?'
'When you put it that way-' Mal conceded.
'Is there any sort of daring escape or rescue plan underway?' she asked, letting his brief lapse slip.
'Well, if Zoe makes it back to the ship then she'll tell 'em what happened. They might even be able to use River to find this place.' The alliance had a nasty habit of keeping the location of its jail cells a secret.
'You really believe that she is a reader?' asked Inara, without scorn or scepticism in her voice. Mal shrugged. 'There ain't many other explanations for some of the things she knows' he replied. Inara nodded in thoughtful agreement.
A thought occurred to Mal and he abruptly opened his eyes to stare at the stone ceiling. 'On second considerations, an escape plan from this end may not be a bad idea' he said.
Inara picked up on the mix of coy embarrassment in his voice and pinned him with a querying look that would have made a stone start spilling. 'What?' he asked defensively after a moment, turning to look at her. 'What did you to them?' she questioned him, almost dreading the answer, yet knowing that it would be worth her while knowing simply for the amusement factor.
'I may have… I may have been a little bit cranky for the past week or so.' He grudgingly admitted.
'You mean since I left' corrected Inara perceptively. Mal raised one shoulder uncomfortably. He was like a little boy when it came to admitting certain things. The companion smiled, partly out of amusement, but also partly out of…well, joy. This was the first time that Mal had admitted to himself that he was attracted to her.
Part of Inara's training was to recognise body language, both unconscious and conscious, and from the very first day she had met him, Mal had shown signs of attraction to her. But part of the mystery he was had meant that there was something else there as well though. A sort of…mental override, to his obvious wants. He was a stronger man by far than any other she had met. Unfortunately, this strength had all channelled into a direction that would have eventually driven them both crazy. So she had left. Maybe for good, maybe just long enough to get him to start seeing straight, to start seeing what he was really doing by denying his feelings.
Thus Mal (as good as) openly admitting that he had missed her when she was gone was an important breakthrough. For both of them. It meant- and seeds of joy sprouted inside her at this thought- that she could return to Serenity. 'And all it took was for me to leave and then both of us getting locked up in an alliance jail cell together' she thought ruefully to herself.
'So have you cooked up any brilliant plans yet?' she asked, allowing him to stop squirming. After all, it was never a good idea to push people too hard on new revelations. Mal shot her a look that said 'I know exactly what you are doing' but dutifully put on an expression of deep thought. The brief flash she had seen surprised Inara. She sometimes underestimated the captain. For all his denial of his own feelings, he could be strangely perceptive at times.
She didn't bother turning her thoughts to an escape plan. No doubt (whatever the captain said to the contrary) Serenity's crew would turn up soon, and if not, being stuck in a cell with Mal for a while longer wouldn't be so bad. As she thought that though, something made Mal's head shoot up. He was staring intently at the door, seeming almost to vibrate with alertness. Inara hadn't heard a thing. 'Wh…?' she began to ask, but without shifting his attention from the door, he held up one finger for silence. She complied, knowing when it was best not to argue, and looked from the listening man to the door. A few long moments later, sounds began to filter to her. First a faint shot, a thump and then, quite close to them, a jingle of the keys as the guard, who no doubt sat outside the cell door, stood to investigate.
Inara looked back to Mal, who briefly glanced at her, a grin on his face. She couldn't help returning it.
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After lightly berating and then thanking the crew for the rescue, Mal sent them all off to their various tasks as Serenity prepared for takeoff. He pretended to ignore the meaningful looks they all gave each other as they cleared out of the kitchen. He was too busy eyeing off Inara where she sat at the scarred old table. She coolly returned his stare, betraying nothing. Leaning on the kitchen bench behind him, his arms crossed against his chest and his blue eyes twinkling, he decided to break the stalemate.
'So you goin' to stay on with Serenity for a while longer ambassador?'
'Since it appears that I am now an alliance fugitive, it would be appropriate that I stick with 'my own type'.'
Mal frowned as though a thought had just occurred to him. ''s that mean that y'all can't get work now?'
'I may need you to advance me the rent on the shuttle for a few days, but no, it shouldn't present a problem. I will get in contact with the guild and ask them to set up a defence for me. I was actually with a client during the time while I was accused of the theft.'
'Whorin' to the rescue.' She narrowed her eyes at him for his use of the word 'whore.' He looked amused, but after a short moment, diverted the conversation. 'Well, we're all happy to have you back on board. Least Kaylee'll have someone to do her hair. The girl turns into a right mess when there's no one around to keep her halfway groomed.'
Inara laughed at the captain's disgruntled tone. 'Well, I'm glad to be back' she informed him, and was contented to catch the brief flicker of pleasure in Mal's eyes. With a restrained smile, he uncrossed his arms and pushed off the bench behind him. 'Captiny things to do' he explained as he headed for the door, using the same brush off that he had once fed Saffron. Inara's eyes narrowed and her mouth pursed into a flat line. The second the man had her back on the ship, he went right back to the same old cat and mouse. It was insufferable. She went to all the trouble of leaving, making sure she was on Toyika at the right time and spending a night in alliance cells just so… Gah. It didn't matter too much though. She was glad to be back. At least he hadn't discovered about her little tip off to feds.
As she thought that very thought, the captain's head popped back into the kitchen.
'By the way Inara, it still seems a pretty large coincidence that we were on the same planet at the same time, in the same jail cell.' He told her with a smile on his face, before disappearing again. Inara listened to the fading footsteps, stunned into silence. The captain might live in denial of his feelings, but he could be, on occasion… a very perceptive man.
The End
Chinese translation:
FAY-FAY duh PEE yen- baboon's arse crack
Gos se- crap