Title: You Will Never Die
Author: mispel
E-mail:
Rating: PG
Summary: Dawn didn't turn out to be a normal girl. Starts around season 5 and 6.
Disclaimer: I own no one and nothing
Feedback: Any comments would be welcome
You Will Never Die
Chapter 6
All Alone In The World
Anya was doing her taxes and frowning, occasionally cursing.
"They punish you for succeeding, you know. They want you to loose money and be poor," she was grumbling.
"Yeah, sucks to be rich," Dawn told her as she idly looked for something to do on her own computer.
"I wouldn't know. The government is taking all my profits," Anya said, apparently without noting Dawn's sarcastic tone.
"You could always sell your business and buy a little cottage in the country. Plant herbs and tomatoes and chickens," Dawn suggested as she gave up trying to amuse herself.
"You don't plant chickens. You order them from the supermarket. They are less likely to peck out your eyes that way," Anya said without taking her eyes off her tax maneuverings.
"Okay, no chicken harvesting. But you don't want a place of your own?" Dawn asked watching Anya who didn't even raise her head.
"Sometimes. But it passes," Anya said as she double-checked the computer's math.
"Because you love sharing a place with five other people and two pets," Dawn said and surprised Anya with her sharp, irritated tone.
Dawn left quickly as Anya gave her a puzzled look.
'Who wouldn't want to baby-sit me forever?' Dawn thought. 'What could be better? Certainly not having a life of your own.'
Dawn waited for Willow on the front steps. It was dark by the time she got home.
"What is it?" Willow asked knowing that Dawn sitting on the steps waiting for her meant trouble.
"Didn't you trust them?" Dawn asked her.
"Who?" Willow leaned on the wrought iron railing like she was tired.
"Them, you know, the them we usually talk about. You just had to throw a little Stepford in there didn't you? Some flesh and blood, a cup of hardware and software, magic to taste, and just a pinch of mind control."
"Dawn..." Willow started to say in a deliberately patient tone that meant that Dawn was being unreasonable, and Willow was going to explain things to her slowly and calmly.
"Why am I asking you?" Dawn said as she got up abruptly and walked away.
"Dawn it's late," Willow yelled after her. But Dawn kept walking.
Buffy was out there somewhere making the world safe. Tara was at her responsible witchcraft group or on her way home from her responsible witchcraft group. Xander was at home staying out of Anya's way. Dawn was walking down the pretty street a few blocks away from where they all lived in that old but well maintained house. And they all lived there so Dawn wouldn't be alone. But being alone was just a matter of how she chose to see things. She either had a house-full or no one.
The modern townhouses she was passing were all lit up inside, except for the one that had the glowing For Sale sign that started to display the features of the place as Dawn went by. All the houses were soundproofed - when Dawn passed them, she couldn't hear the people who were talking too loudly or the volume turned up too high. She did hear the clanking of garbage being deposited underground, right under her feet. Out of sight.
When The Cat's Away
In the early days, right after Willow had made them, Dawn waited till Willow was away and then told them she was going out. It wasn't a lie - she did go out. But she came right back and hid outside the house and spied on them through the windows.
Buffy yelled that someone had clogged the sink as she stalked through the house. Then she stalked the other way yelling that someone had broken the plunger. She was waving it around, and Anya told her to put that filthy thing away. Tara looked innocent, but Buffy said she was putting her on the suspect list anyway. First on the suspect list was Dawn. Anya said it was probably Willow. Xander said he would go get another plunger. Then he made a speech about how the old, manual plungers were better and didn't break. When he came out of the house, Dawn hid.
Dawn did that every few years. Usually after she had the nightmare where they all froze as soon as she was out of sight. It was reassuring to see them moving around, doing all those little things to annoy each other. But maybe it wasn't any different than leaving the TV on when no one was watching.
What's Missing
Willow looked down at the empty slot. Willow, the original Willow, had made it just in case. But it was never used. Nothing was ever stored there, but the label remained - Giles.
"You wouldn't approve of me," Willow told him.
Willow had never dared to take the imprint of his personality. Before his fall, he would have known what she was planning and tried to stop her. Afterwards, it was too risky. His damaged brain would have made for a bad transfer.
"It's not so bad. For the others, it's even better. They can put it out of their minds. That's what Tara tells me. They can almost just be themselves. The way people don't think about their brains or the 20 plus feet of coiled intestines inside them."
Willow had to think about what was inside. She had to fix them. More and more as time passed. She continued to talk to the empty Giles slot aware that the whole time a part of her brain logged the conversation as a possible sign of malfunction or deterioration.
"I have too many protocols and safeguards. It's not as much fun," she said turning back to her work.
"But it's not that different, either. I always had too many thoughts," she added.
Like the Giles slot, the others were empty now too. The other Willow said they used to hum. Willow remembered that. But she knew she wouldn't be able to hear anything.
Willow took inventory. She had everything she needed except the imprints. She could build an army of Xanders and Taras and Anyas and Willows. But they wouldn't fool anyone.
To be continued