Xiaolang's Ying Fa: This is my first Wolf's Rain fic, and most likely will be my last, there is no update to this, as it is only a one-shot and basic dribblings. I will, however probably make a follow up one-shot if Tsume dies. (I don't know if he does and I don't know how)
I've never written a 'musings after death' if you will, so I need all the feedback you can give. Thank you!
Warnings: Light Shounen-ai and probably OOC-ness. (sorry!)
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I don't think anyone knew just how much he meant to me…Just exactly what he was. He was everything I am not…everything I've always wanted to be. He was a child, a kid…a pup that had a chance to actually live out his childhood…without having to run…or be afraid of what was lurking in the dark or around the corner. And when I saw him…when I first laid my eyes on him…I loved him. He was so small, a runt. I knew I had to protect him. But in the end, I couldn't even do that as I watched him die in the old man's arms. He was so young. He didn't deserve to live like us, and die like us…He didn't deserve to bear witness the suffering he did. I was on his tail about everything he did. He had to be strong, or else I knew he wouldn't make it. He had to stop complaining…and just learn to accept the fact that maybe, life wasn't going to be as easy as it had been for him before…that maybe, he would have to fight, if not just for the sake of which to eat. It didn't take me long to realize he was strong. Stronger than any of us had thought he could have ever been. And it made me proud, proud to be around him…proud to be in love with him.
'I wont whine anymore…and I wont run away.'
I was hard on him, I'm sure everyone knew that…and probably realized why…But I wouldn't let him know that. I wouldn't let him know how much he meant to me…and if anything ever happened to him…But he must have known. After all, it was him who kept me going…kept me following along their trail, brought me all this way…
'C'mon Tsume! Let's go!'
He wanted me with him. And I…I wanted to be with him. But now…now that he's gone…no longer there to keep me going…no longer there to push me along…I don't think I can go with them anymore. I don't think I'll be able to keep myself going without him…He meant too much to me…And to think that I used to be a loner before all of this…alone and uncaring…betraying all wolves I'd come across…until this pack…until him. The only thing I've ever cared for…the only wolf I ever…he's…
In the end…I don't think even I realized how much the humans meant to him…he died for one…would he have done that for me? Humans have always meant something to him…and even though I tried to make him strong and make him forget the humans…he couldn't. And even though I know I meant something to him…the human still meant more. He died protecting them…And I guess I am jealous…jealous of how he gave them his undying attention and affection…but only seemed to look at me when I was acting out or…'drifting' from the bunch of you.
'Go on ahead…I wanna talk to the runt for a while.'
'We understand.'
They did understand, as I had thought they could never…But they must've. The look in Kiba's eyes…He understood exactly what I was going through…It gave me comfort, if nothing else.
And as I gazed down at his lifeless form…I knew it was true…he was gone forever…gone…I hadn't even gotten to say a proper goodbye…
He didn't deserve this! He was too young! He shouldn't have had to die for this! Die for him! That big brute of a human who would rather see his head on a mantle than be in our company for even a second…That old man hated him…and yet…he loved him. He was such a caring creature…He could never hate anyone…
It didn't take me long to realize I had to go. I had to go with Kiba and the others, just for the sake of him. He made me go this far…he would be disappointed if I didn't see it through.
'I believed in you…'He believed in me…as he said so many times before…I had to do it…for him. No matter what life threw my way…I had to make it as far as I could…for him…because that's what he would have wanted…that is what he wants, I know it. I said I had wanted to take him with me…and I am. In my heart, he'll always be with me…He'll be with me…forever.
Even still…I don't think anyone knew how much he really meant to me. He was mine, as I am his. And now that he's gone…it'll only make me work harder to get to Rakuen…so I can see him again…Because I know that's where he'll be waiting for me…my runt…my Toubue…
Owari
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