True Destiny Continues
Chapter 8: Reality Sets In
Disclaimer: I don't own anything or anyone from the Angel series. I only own my original characters.
Connor concentrated hard on breathing normally, trying to make the air just move in and out in a steady motion. It wasn't working. His eyes were clenched shut, anything to keep the image of Wesley's dead body out of his eyesight. On their own accord, his eyes opened slowly and immediately flew to the body. And oh god! He had just referred to Wesley as the body. He felt someone pulling him back and he vaguely realized that it was Gunn. His body was guided to sit on the circular couch. Someone slumped down next to him and he turned to face Spike, the vampire's face contorted in a pained expression. Then his eyes sought out his father for some sort of, he didn't know, comfort maybe.
"Dad…why is he…how did this…oh god," Connor whispered harshly, his eyes beginning to water. He remembered that he had wondered where Wesley and Cordelia were but the thought hadn't occurred to him that maybe either one of them might be dead. This wasn't supposed to happen. What the hell was going on? "Dad please…what happened," he tried again. Someone else dropped to sit next to him on his right and a comforting arm was placed around his shoulders. "Gunn what happened to Wes," he asked painfully.
"I'm not exactly sure little man," Gunn answered, his voice tight with pain. "We all had a part to play in the plan to take down the Black Thorn and the Senior Partners. Wes's part didn't go so well." Gunn watched as Angel stood over Wesley's body, his arms still holding an unconscious Milani, although now his body appeared to be shaking slightly. He understood just how Angel felt because pain was radiating in his chest at this very moment. He recognized that pain all too clearly from the loss of Alonna, Cordy, and Fred. It was grief.
"You think it didn't go so well," Faith barked sarcastically in an attempt to mask her own pain. "What the hell happened guys? No one told me that Wes was…god! Someone better explain to me what's going on and don't forget to mention why he's surrounded by that blue light."
"How the bloody hell are we supposed to know," Spike said gruffly. "If you were listening, then you would know that we all had jobs to take care of…separately. We weren't there when Wesley---." He stopped himself from continuing, unable to even speak the words aloud. He couldn't believe the grief he was feeling. It looks like the whole lot of them had grown on him, slowly but surely.
"I was not there when he was fatally wounded but I was there when he finally died," Illyria announced, her voice sounding emotional to her own ears. "I killed the creature that ended his life. I recalled this place…this hote...from the shell's memories. I decided to bring him here afterwards."
"But what did you do to him blue…what's the blue light about," Spike asked slowly. He was surprised that he hadn't realized the old one's growing affections for the watcher. Well he never thought he would see this day. The smurf actually cared about someone besides herself.
"I had to do something…I couldn't let him die," she said softly.
Gunn shook his head in confusion. "What do you mean you couldn't let him die," he questioned. "Are you trying to tell us that Wes isn't…well…you know?"
"Exactly, he is not quite dead…yet," Illyria replied simply. "I somehow summoned power to stop time just before his heart stopped beating. He is suspended in time at this moment."
Faith's head was spinning faster and faster. Jesus when would this nightmare of a night ever end? "What the hell are you talking about," she shouted. "And for the record, why the hell do you look like Fred? Where is Fred?"
Angel had been standing over Wesley's body the entire time listening to the exchange. He just felt…numb. He wasn't ready for this. He was ready to face this yet. When Illyria had first told them of Wesley's death, he had taken it with a grain of salt. But now…now it was hitting him like a ton of bricks. He heard a faint groan and he looked down into the face of the girl he was holding. He had completely forgotten that he was holding her. He struggled to pull himself together, because his team needed their leader. He couldn't afford to break down now.
He turned around and faced them finally. "Gunn can you take Milani and Faith upstairs please," he asked softly, walking towards him as he spoke. Gunn nodded and stood up, immediately holding out his arms so that Milani could be transferred to him. He took her smoothly out of Angel's arms and jerked his head in Faith's direction. She glanced at Wesley one last time before walking towards the stairs, Gunn following right behind her. Angel listened quietly to the sound of their footsteps clomping up the stairs.
Angel then turned to his blood relatives. "Connor I know we've been through a lot tonight but I need you to be strong just little bit longer for me okay," he said calmly. "I need you to help Spike get settled upstairs. Help him clean some of those wounds and wrap his ribs up too. Can you do that for me?"
Connor roughly wiped the tears off his face and nodded. "Yeah, I can do that," he said quietly. He grabbed Spike as gently as he could and helped him to his feet.
Spike tried protesting the help but the stern look Angel shot his way made him change his mind. He might as well just accept the help and be done with it. He could go back to being Mr. Macho tomorrow. He smiled at the boy crookedly and allowed him to lead his bruised body to the stairs. He stopped as soon as one foot hit the stairs. "You gonna be alright mate," he asked, surprised at the fact that he was actually worried about his sire.
Angel sighed loudly. "Yeah I'm ---," he hedged because he was truly anything but alright. He didn't know if he would be alright again. "I'm gonna deal with Illyria and this Wes thing; try to get to the bottom of it. I'll feel better if I know you and Connor are okay. Go on. I'll be fine." Spike nodded and then he and Connor resumed their trek up the stairs.
"Now Illyria…start talking," Angel said curtly. If there was any chance to save Wes, then he wanted to start working on it now. He wouldn't allow himself any rest until he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt if it was possible to bring Wesley back to them.
"Well have you decided what you want to do yet?"
"When has what I wanted ever mattered?"
"You have a point there, but they're your family and they need you."
"When did you become so, what's the word, oh yes…human?"
"Good one. You're still great with the zingers. But remember this? Every minute you waste exchanging quips with me brings you one step closer to losing your chance at living again."
"I stopped living when she died."
"Yeah I know. I'm really sorry about that by the way."
He laughed harshly. "Being dead seems to have awakened your sensitivity. Hmm…too bad it wasn't around when you were alive."
"All I'm saying is that you get a second chance. Not many people get that chance. Are you just going to let it go to waste?'
"A second chance at what!!! At struggling to go through life without her smiles, her laughter, her arms around me! How do you expect me to go back to a life where she's not there?!!"
"I expect you to suck it up and do it for your friends…for your family. You may think you don't need them, but they need you. Did you see Connor's face when he laid eyes on your body? Did you see his tears? What about Gunn? He was barely holding it together you know. How about Faith? Don't you think you owe it to her to be the watcher she deserved to have? And Spike? When did you ever think that he would grieve for you? Let's not forget Angel and Illyria. She needs her guide and Angel…well he needs his friend back."
"I don't know if I can be what they want me to be."
"No one was asking you to be anything else than what you are. Be yourself. Be the man that they loved. Be the man that I know you are, the man that searched through Wolfram & Hart's files for my contract in hopes of giving a bitch like me some peace. Please, you have to do this."
"Why do you care so much?"
"I care because believe it or not, I love you. And so do they."
He so wanted to believe that what she was saying was true. He just couldn't grasp the thought of them actually missing him, but he had witnessed the beginnings of their grief hadn't he. He couldn't deny the fact that he loved them. Even Spike and Illyria had a place in his heart somewhere. At the end, they had almost felt like a team, even with the loss of Fred and Cordy still hanging on them. Still, he didn't know if he could do this, go back to a world that was filled with so much evil and hate. Then again, how could he not?
Wesley turned to face her, his face set with determination at his decision. "I'm ready Lilah. Send me back."
Note: Here's another installment here for you guys. I hope the little dialogue wasn't too boring or confusing for you I didn't want to give away who it was until the end, even though you guys probably figured it out from the start. We're going to work slowly to finding out Milani's connection to Angel and Connor. I need to bring Wes back first, wrap up Lindsey and Eve, Willow scene where she returns Milani's powers, and then the fireworks will really begin! Thanks for all the cool reviews! I appreciate them so much.