Sorry it took so long to update, and that this one is so short. I've been short on time...okay, so I've really just been talking to my boyfriend every spare moment I get. Sue me, he's too far away!!
Anyhow. Enjoy!!
***
Travis's eyes, locked with hers, were pleading.
"Don't ask me to do that," he said softly, his voice raw.
"Why?" Lily asked firmly.
He closed his eyes, shook his head. "Please."
"Travis...I heard the doctor and your dad talking, okay?" she confessed.
His eyes flashed angrily, and he tore away from her, standing up. "You have a nasty habit of eavesdropping, Lily."
She frowned. "I..."
"I..." Travis mocked angrily, spinning around. When he saw the hurt look on her face, he stopped dead. "Lily...I'm sorry..."
She bit her lip, watching him.
"God!" he said suddenly, frustration evident. He came over to kneel in front of her. "Lily, I'm sorry. Please...don't look at me like that. I'm not like her, I'm not!"
She let him take her hand, and squeezed it back just as hard.
"I told myself I'd never be like her...never be such a fucked up person," he said, his voice pitched in a tone she had never, and would never, imagine coming from Travis.
"What are you talking about?" she asked quietly, hesitantly.
He looked up at her, eyes shining with tears he was holding back. Turning away, he said, "I can see the way you're looking at me. Afraid to speak.. Afraid...of me."
"Travis," she said again, but he refused to look at her now.
He stood, pacing, idly picking at his cast in a nervous way. "I swore I'd never make anyone feel like she makes me feel."
"Does she hit you?" Lily asked quietly, head down, afraid to know.
Travis stopped pacing then, staring dead at the wall. "I never could hit a girl. It just seemed so wrong. But why should it be? She does."
Raising her head with new strength, Lily waited for him to continue.
"It doesn't matter to her. Never did," he snorted. "No matter how small I was...how weak. It didn't matter."
"Why do you still go back to her?" she finally asked, her voice pained.
"Why?" he asked, turning to her, his face tightly drawn. "Because I love her, Lily. She's my mother. She could kill me, and I would still love her."
Not able to understand, Lily simply shook her head.
"I want to hate her. I want to wish her dead, but I can't," Travis said softly
"But it's wrong!" Lily cried. "She's your mother! She's supposed to kiss your elbow when you skin it, not hit you. She's supposed to love you, not...she's supposed to be a mom!"
"When I fell, it was my fault for running to fast. When she hit me, I earned it. I did something to deserve it. If I deserve this...maybe someday I'll deserve her love," he said, still staring at the wall.
"But you don't deserve this!" she cried.
"I do!" he argued loudly. "I deserve every minute, every second. I should be better. I should try harder, I should do something differently. It's my fault she hates me! I'm fucked up, Lily!"
She cringed, shaking her head again. "No!"
"Yes," he said forcefully, turning to stare at her. "I was born a mess, and I'll die a mess. God, how could I think...how could anyone love me."
His voice got softer with every word, and he finally turned away, heading for the door.
Lily leapt to her feet, her still sore body protesting as she covered the distance in time to keep him from opening the door.
"Travis, no," she said, meaning several things.
"Lily..." he said, smiling an odd smile. "You're so beautiful...so...perfect. I don't deserve you."
The hand that caressed her cheek was cold.
"Travis," she cried softly, tears spilling down her cheeks.
"Don't cry over me," he said. "I'm not worth it."
With that, he pushed past her, and was gone.
Lily burst through the door, regaining her bearings, and whipped her head from side to side.
A matter of seconds and he had disappeared.
She stood for a moment, unsure, staring off into the distance.
***
Travis Strong was running. Though everything in him was telling him not to, he was pushing himself hard, legs pumping, lungs burning, running.
Now she knew.
The most perfect person he had ever met, the most beautiful, angelic girl...she knew his secret. Knew he was crazy, knew he was a freak.
Tears streamed down his face, mixing with sweat that burned his eyes. His breath was coming in short gasps, and his legs felt rubbery and numb. He shouldn't have been able to run that far, that fast, that long. Not in his current condition. He was injured, half drugged on painkillers, and emotionally exhausted. But something kept him going.
Escape.
He longed for it.
He fought for it, through questionable means.
He wanted to find it.
***
He wasn't home.
He wasn't answering his cell.
He wasn't anywhere that she could find him.
Lily was on the verge of panicking. She had to find him, but she couldn't find him. She couldn't ask his dad to help. Not Robbie, or Ray...she was on her own.
And she had no idea what to do.
***
Travis stopped finally, out of breath, out of steam.
He was exhausted.
Shakily, feeling like hell, he climbed the stairs.
He leaned against the door, knocking as hard as he could in this state, and waited,
Finally, the door swung open.
"Mom..."
***
Lily lay awake that night, staring at her ceiling, aching, and thinking about Travis. She was lost, confused, and helpless. She had no idea what to do to help him. To tell his father...unthinkable. To tell Robbie, betrayal. To tell Ray...well...not likely.
But what could she do?
Obviously, she couldn't do this alone. But she couldn't get help either.
Letting out a pained sigh, she held up her cast, peering at the slightly wobbly handwriting, just barely able to see it in the dim light that shone in from the hallway.
Travis...
Lily groaned, sitting up in bed.
On the table beside her bed, her cell phone sat dormant, plugged into the charger. She picked it up and dialed.
Three rings, and then, "Hey. This is Travis. I'm not here, so leave a message."
She hung up before the beep.
Anyhow. Enjoy!!
***
Travis's eyes, locked with hers, were pleading.
"Don't ask me to do that," he said softly, his voice raw.
"Why?" Lily asked firmly.
He closed his eyes, shook his head. "Please."
"Travis...I heard the doctor and your dad talking, okay?" she confessed.
His eyes flashed angrily, and he tore away from her, standing up. "You have a nasty habit of eavesdropping, Lily."
She frowned. "I..."
"I..." Travis mocked angrily, spinning around. When he saw the hurt look on her face, he stopped dead. "Lily...I'm sorry..."
She bit her lip, watching him.
"God!" he said suddenly, frustration evident. He came over to kneel in front of her. "Lily, I'm sorry. Please...don't look at me like that. I'm not like her, I'm not!"
She let him take her hand, and squeezed it back just as hard.
"I told myself I'd never be like her...never be such a fucked up person," he said, his voice pitched in a tone she had never, and would never, imagine coming from Travis.
"What are you talking about?" she asked quietly, hesitantly.
He looked up at her, eyes shining with tears he was holding back. Turning away, he said, "I can see the way you're looking at me. Afraid to speak.. Afraid...of me."
"Travis," she said again, but he refused to look at her now.
He stood, pacing, idly picking at his cast in a nervous way. "I swore I'd never make anyone feel like she makes me feel."
"Does she hit you?" Lily asked quietly, head down, afraid to know.
Travis stopped pacing then, staring dead at the wall. "I never could hit a girl. It just seemed so wrong. But why should it be? She does."
Raising her head with new strength, Lily waited for him to continue.
"It doesn't matter to her. Never did," he snorted. "No matter how small I was...how weak. It didn't matter."
"Why do you still go back to her?" she finally asked, her voice pained.
"Why?" he asked, turning to her, his face tightly drawn. "Because I love her, Lily. She's my mother. She could kill me, and I would still love her."
Not able to understand, Lily simply shook her head.
"I want to hate her. I want to wish her dead, but I can't," Travis said softly
"But it's wrong!" Lily cried. "She's your mother! She's supposed to kiss your elbow when you skin it, not hit you. She's supposed to love you, not...she's supposed to be a mom!"
"When I fell, it was my fault for running to fast. When she hit me, I earned it. I did something to deserve it. If I deserve this...maybe someday I'll deserve her love," he said, still staring at the wall.
"But you don't deserve this!" she cried.
"I do!" he argued loudly. "I deserve every minute, every second. I should be better. I should try harder, I should do something differently. It's my fault she hates me! I'm fucked up, Lily!"
She cringed, shaking her head again. "No!"
"Yes," he said forcefully, turning to stare at her. "I was born a mess, and I'll die a mess. God, how could I think...how could anyone love me."
His voice got softer with every word, and he finally turned away, heading for the door.
Lily leapt to her feet, her still sore body protesting as she covered the distance in time to keep him from opening the door.
"Travis, no," she said, meaning several things.
"Lily..." he said, smiling an odd smile. "You're so beautiful...so...perfect. I don't deserve you."
The hand that caressed her cheek was cold.
"Travis," she cried softly, tears spilling down her cheeks.
"Don't cry over me," he said. "I'm not worth it."
With that, he pushed past her, and was gone.
Lily burst through the door, regaining her bearings, and whipped her head from side to side.
A matter of seconds and he had disappeared.
She stood for a moment, unsure, staring off into the distance.
***
Travis Strong was running. Though everything in him was telling him not to, he was pushing himself hard, legs pumping, lungs burning, running.
Now she knew.
The most perfect person he had ever met, the most beautiful, angelic girl...she knew his secret. Knew he was crazy, knew he was a freak.
Tears streamed down his face, mixing with sweat that burned his eyes. His breath was coming in short gasps, and his legs felt rubbery and numb. He shouldn't have been able to run that far, that fast, that long. Not in his current condition. He was injured, half drugged on painkillers, and emotionally exhausted. But something kept him going.
Escape.
He longed for it.
He fought for it, through questionable means.
He wanted to find it.
***
He wasn't home.
He wasn't answering his cell.
He wasn't anywhere that she could find him.
Lily was on the verge of panicking. She had to find him, but she couldn't find him. She couldn't ask his dad to help. Not Robbie, or Ray...she was on her own.
And she had no idea what to do.
***
Travis stopped finally, out of breath, out of steam.
He was exhausted.
Shakily, feeling like hell, he climbed the stairs.
He leaned against the door, knocking as hard as he could in this state, and waited,
Finally, the door swung open.
"Mom..."
***
Lily lay awake that night, staring at her ceiling, aching, and thinking about Travis. She was lost, confused, and helpless. She had no idea what to do to help him. To tell his father...unthinkable. To tell Robbie, betrayal. To tell Ray...well...not likely.
But what could she do?
Obviously, she couldn't do this alone. But she couldn't get help either.
Letting out a pained sigh, she held up her cast, peering at the slightly wobbly handwriting, just barely able to see it in the dim light that shone in from the hallway.
Travis...
Lily groaned, sitting up in bed.
On the table beside her bed, her cell phone sat dormant, plugged into the charger. She picked it up and dialed.
Three rings, and then, "Hey. This is Travis. I'm not here, so leave a message."
She hung up before the beep.