101 (Dangerous) Ways to Annoy Snape
Parody-of-an-Angel
'what happens when Harry and Ron compile a list of ways to piss of Snape and why is Hermione completing it? SS/HG. List by EnSnared'
Disclaimer – I do not own any characters from Harry Potter. I do not own this list. I did not make it up. It is not mine...........................but I have permission to use it.
THE OWNER OF THE FABULOUS LIST IS ENSNARED!!!!!!! Thank you.
The theory Snape says on who invented the question mark was taken from this site sure if the link will show up or if it will work, but oh well.
WOW – thank you so much for all the reviews! It's last period of the last day of school at the moment and I am in History and sposed to be doing work, but...probably won't be as good as 1st chapter - soz
Avery-88: Thanks, I also thought it was funny that she got mad at a 90%
Sailor Silver Sky: glad you like it
Lindsey: Thanks, I will continue it
Faye6: glad you liked it.
Moviebuff101: to tell you the truth, I'm not really sure how it will all turn out, I have a vague idea though
celtic elf: very short review but thank you
emmaweasley: glad you think it's good
RavenclawGirl714: definitely!
Lerenzie: hi MC, I am not a Spazzo!! Well, maybe a bit... My fingers are burning! BURNING I tell you!! I just spilt soup on them...chicken soup :) bother
Christine: brilliant?? snort if u say so, writing more......now
Evil Pureblood: Thank you so much! As 4 the Hermione becoming like George, u know the saying – Hell hath no fury as a woman scorned!
Dragonfaerie1186: true it's hiding most of the time, but remember the Polyjuice potion? That was kinda mischevious ( thankies!
Brittany Malfoy: thank you so much!
ShinakaStar: I am continuing it! glad you think it's funny.
Miss Elvira: thanks a bunch, will make him squeal – you can count on that! ( Sorry I only had the first chapter up
(::) text cookie by Ron's Best Mate
Chapter 2 – the first two tasks
¸,ø ¤º°°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ ø,¸¸,ø ¤º°°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ ø,¸¸,ø ¤º°°º¤¸,ø¤
Hermione awoke to the dawn light filtering through the curtains of her canopy bed. Rising quickly, she showered and dressed at record pace; after all, she had a lot of work to do in preparation for her revenge. Thinking of that particular thing, a malicious grin spread across her face, warning everyone that she was not a girl to be tangled with. Checking the time, she noticed with a satisfied grin that it was just past 6am and, careful not to wake any of her peers, stole out of her room, down the stairs and out the portrait hole.
Walking across the grounds, she hummed softly to herself, confident that it was too early for anyone to be up in order to see her. Unbeknownst to her though, a pair of peri-winkle blue eyes watched her over the top of half moon spectacles, twinkling merrily from the astronomy tower.
When she reached the border of Hogwarts, she looked around and sure that no one was watching apparated to Diagon Alley. Hermione had gotten her apparition licence in the middle of her sixth year much to the not so much surprise but amazement of her friends, who had that very night thrown a celebratory party for her with the whole of Gryffindor tower in attendance. Smiling at the fond memory, she appeared with a muffled pop at the Leaky Cauldron, the witches, wizards. Hags etc. not even flinching at her sudden appearance, they were so used to people randomly appearing. Taking off her robe, she stuffed it inside her bag, revealing ordinary muggle jeans and T- shirt underneath.
Pulling the list from her back pocket, she re-read the first couple of tasks; 1. During potions lessons, wear fake teeth and claim you invented the question mark. 2. Ask him if he's ever watched Barney.
She didn't need anything for 2 except maybe a whole lot of courage, so that meant that all she had to buy for now was fake teeth. Exiting the ramshackle bar, Hermione stepped out into muggle London and blinked in the sudden light. Walking along the path with no particular destination in mind, she kept an eye out for any shop, which might stock fake teeth and indulged in childhood memories of Barney.
As a child, blissfully unaware of the fact that she was a witch she had often watched TV and now remembered the first time she had seen the giant purple dinosaur. She had been five at the time and had been home with her mother when he and all his friends had suddenly appeared on her screen. Hermione had screamed at the shocking purple colour and her mother had come running, enveloping her in a hug and switching the TV off. After that, she hadn't seen it again, still scared and when older, too mature.
Suddenly spying a costume shop that looked promising, Hermione abruptly turned right and entered the building, a golden bell above the door signalling her arrival. The place was old and dusty, but the costumes themselves were in perfect condition. Browsing through the racks, she came across fairy costumes, mermaid costumes and even witch costumes, complete with warty noses and fake nails.
"Can I help you with anything?" a short, bald man said, surprising her by popping his head over her shoulder.
"Umm, do you stock fake teeth?" Hermione inquired, feeling more then a tad silly and backing away a bit.
The bald man didn't seem to be phased by this and answered as though people came to him asking for fake teeth all the time, which considering where she was, they probably did.
"I'm sorry Miss, but we ran out yesterday and have yet to receive more," Hermione's face fell at this – time was running out before she would have to be back.
"However," the shopkeeper continued. "We do have one costume that comes with a set of fake teeth. I'm afraid you would have to buy the complete costume though".
Hermione quickly calculated how much muggle money she had, flipping her wallet open to count. She had more then enough for this and other things that she would probably need to complete the list as she didn't often spend it and so asked the man to show her the costume, which turned out to be a scientist's one complete with lab coat, glasses and teeth that had very large front teeth – even larger then hers used to be. In short, it was perfect.
Smiling maniacally, she purchased the item, the shopkeeper staring at her nervously and backing away slowly to retreat to the safety of the back room. Laughing, Hermione strolled out the door and made her solitary way back to the castle.
''''';;.,.,.,.,;';'/.,';,.,';,.,';,.',.,;.';,,.,,,,,,,,,';,.',;.,'''''';;.,. ,.,.,;';'/.,';,.,';,.,';,.',.,;.';,,.,,,,,,,,,';,.
Stretching languidly, Harry Potter aka the boy who lived, swung his legs over the edge of his bed and stood up, pulling the curtains around his bed aside. Quickly changing, he hurriedly stuffed the books that he would need for the day into his bag and attempted to flatten his hair. Not succeeding, he made his way across the small room and proceeded to poke Ron in the stomach trying to wake him up, but to no avail. All that happened was that the red-haired boy rolled over and stuck his head under his pillow, occasionally muttering "5 more minutes mom".
Stifling a snort and sighing, Harry summoned a ready prepared bucket of water from the bathroom and dumped the icy contents all over his friend, who spluttered indignantly.
"Haaaaaaaary," he whined. "Watcha have to do that for? Couldn't you have simply poked me or something?"
"Believe me Ron, I tried".
"Well, why'd you wake me up anyway?" Ron asked, grumbling under his breath in a way that eerily reminded Harry of Kreacher.
"Because breakfast will be over in 15 minutes and I'm hungry," Harry replied, knowing that the mention of food would send Ron into a flurry of activity, which it did.
Jumping up, Ron was changed and ready for class in less than three minutes and much to Harry's amusement, had put on his robe back to front. After he had pointed this out to Ron and it had been fixed, the pair made their way down to the Great Hall for the remainder of breakfast. Plonking themselves down, they looked around for Hermione. However this morning, she was nowhere to be seen, which was odd as she was usually one of the first people to enter the hall.
Just then, said girl barged through the doors, chestnut hair streaming behind her and bulging bag bouncing on her back. Reaching the Gryffindor table, she sat down, panting a bit and reached for a piece of toast.
"Hey Moine," greeted Ron. "Where've you been? Breakfast's basically over".
"Oh, just preparing for something," Hermione replied vaguely, deep in thought.
Harry and Ron decided not to press it as it was obvious that they weren't going to get anything out of her while she was in this state. Breakfast was soon over and the trio made their way down to the dungeons for first period Potions, their breath starting to mist in front of them from the draughty winds.
As the three sat down at their customary backbench, Hermione unzipped her bag, removing a white lab coat, glasses and ... teeth? The boys and several others watched, bemused, as Hermione donned the three items before sitting down as if everything was normal.
"What?" Hermione asked, noticing their expressions, at which they politely turned away. Well at least everyone besides Harry and Ron turned away. Closing his mouth, Harry appeared to be speculating deeply on something, before he cried out with an expression of realisation replacing his formerly shocked one.
"Are you doing what I think you're doing?" he asked nervously.
"And what do you think I'm doing exactly?" rallied Hermione, smirking at him, which seemed to confirm his fears.
Harry opened his mouth to speak, but closed it abruptly – speechless. He hadn't thought that Hermione would actually go through with it, just that she would sleep it off and wake up the same know-it-all bookworm that he was used too. Ron apparently had caught on too and was wearing an expression of acute disbelief.
"What's with the glasses and coat?" Harry asked, recovering from his mute state. "You only had to wear teeth"
"I know," answered Hermione. "But I had to buy the whole thing or nothing and so I thought that I might as well use it".
"Are you out of your bloody mind?" exclaimed Ron fervently, but Hermione never got the chance to reply because at that moment, Snape decided to enter the room in his usual dramatic fashion, robes sweeping behind him. Noticing Hermione and her attire, his mouth opened, but he had obviously decided to simply ignore it and swept forward to his desk.
"Today class, we will be making a potion that is known as the Veritas potion. It is basically a weaker version of the Veritaserum potion and allows the drinker to control what they say, though it must still be the truth. In other words, they can leave bits out or twist the truth as they wish. Because of this, the Veritas potion is not commonly used, but can be handy to use on muggles or those with weak will".
Hermione listened with her usual rapt attention, as Snape explained some of the side effects of the potion and such, while mentally preparing herself for what she was about to do. The instructions then appeared on the board and the students got to work. Ron had taken over Hermione's partnership with Neville and so she was with Harry today.
Halfway through the potion, Hermione realised something of vital importance to her revenge plan. If she was going to proclaim that she had invented the question mark, then she either had to do it before the Veritas was ingested or by another method. Luckily, Hermione had read about this potion and knew that if hellebore wasn't added, then the potion would be rendered useless, but with no change to the outward appearance of a working one.
Quickly, she clued Harry in on this new revelation and he agreed to it at once, because after all who would want Snape to have access to their very souls? Being a member of the Order, Harry knew that he wouldn't ask him anything to do with that, but there were lots of other things that he wouldn't want others to see.
Soon after, everyone was finished with the relatively simple potion and Harry slipped the hellebore into his pocket so that it would look as if they had used it in their potion. Pouring some of the magenta liquid into two conical flasks and corking them, the pair walked up to Snape's desk to find that they were the first ones there. Snape motioned for them to drink the potion, which they did, with nervous glances at each other first.
The potion tasted a bit like pepper up, a burning sensation filling their stomachs before abruptly dying out, most likely due to the lack of a certain plant. Wincing they watched a smirk appear on the potion master's face before he spoke.
"Potter, what is, sorry, what was your fathers first name?" he asked, adding insult to injury.
"James," Harry replied sullenly, glaring fiercely at Snape, which only gave him reason to take 10 points from Gryffindor.
Apparently, Snape was satisfied with that, as he then turned to Hermione, pondering a question that he could ask her, though he already knew that the potion worked. He knew nothing of her family so that was out of the question and didn't know much else about the girl except that she hung out with Potter and Weasley and was a know-it-all bookworm. Suddenly getting a surge of cruel inspiration, he asked his question.
"Miss Granger, are you a know-it-all bookworm?"
Harry glared at Snape even fiercer and even Hermione was surprised that he had dared ask that question. Straightening her posture, she looked him right in the eye and relied with a resounding "no".
Snape was visibly shocked. His mouth was agape and his eyes were slightly larger then usual. Taking this opportunity, Hermione opened her mouth to complete task 1.
"Did you know Professor Snape..." she began in a pompous voice a bit like Percy's and looking over her glasses at his dumbfounded expression. "...That I invented the question mark in a past life".
"You did not," Snape argued, recovering from the uncharacteristic behaviour of his top student. "It was invented by ancient Irish monks who kept cats to prevent mice and rats eating their sacred velum manuscripts. They noticed that when cats investigate some newly observed object, they tended to curl their tails into the shape of a question mark".
"Well then where did the dot come from?" Hermione inquired coyly.
"It came from...erm....um... Well it doesn't matter where the dot came from, but you certainly didn't invent it!"
"How can you be so sure? I am after all under the effects of a truth potion, which should be enough evidence to prove that I'm not lying to you and that I did indeed invent the question mark."
Here, Snape was once again dumbfounded and opened and closed his mouth like a fish out of water before once again recovering.
"Detention tonight Miss Granger," he drawled smoothly. "For lying blatantly to a teacher and wearing inappropriate clothing".
Much to his surprise, she didn't protest at all, instead looking quite smug, a thing which annoyed him to no end. Going back to their seats, they waited for the others to test their potions before they could go to Transfiguration, promising to tell Ron all about their odd conversation at lunch.
Ten minutes later, everyone's potions had been tested and they were all making their way out. Manoeuvring her way through the crowd to the front, Hermione called something out to Snape, which everyone could clearly hear and that brought forth peals of laughter from the muggleborns especially.
"Have you ever watched Barney Professor?" she asked, escaping from the classroom before he could make a reply.
¸,ø ¤º°°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ ø,¸¸,ø ¤º°°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ ø,¸¸,ø ¤º°°º¤¸,ø¤
This chapter was written in sections so sorry if I kept repeating something. Veritas is Latin for telling the truth or at least that's what the translator said it was.
This will be the last update from me in a while as I'm going to the snow tomorrow morning! Yippee! Trying boarding for the first time, I normally ski. Am scared that I'll be in a class with all these miniature 7-year-old kids! scary
REVIEW?!?!
Parody-of-an-Angel
'what happens when Harry and Ron compile a list of ways to piss of Snape and why is Hermione completing it? SS/HG. List by EnSnared'
Disclaimer – I do not own any characters from Harry Potter. I do not own this list. I did not make it up. It is not mine...........................but I have permission to use it.
THE OWNER OF THE FABULOUS LIST IS ENSNARED!!!!!!! Thank you.
The theory Snape says on who invented the question mark was taken from this site sure if the link will show up or if it will work, but oh well.
WOW – thank you so much for all the reviews! It's last period of the last day of school at the moment and I am in History and sposed to be doing work, but...probably won't be as good as 1st chapter - soz
Avery-88: Thanks, I also thought it was funny that she got mad at a 90%
Sailor Silver Sky: glad you like it
Lindsey: Thanks, I will continue it
Faye6: glad you liked it.
Moviebuff101: to tell you the truth, I'm not really sure how it will all turn out, I have a vague idea though
celtic elf: very short review but thank you
emmaweasley: glad you think it's good
RavenclawGirl714: definitely!
Lerenzie: hi MC, I am not a Spazzo!! Well, maybe a bit... My fingers are burning! BURNING I tell you!! I just spilt soup on them...chicken soup :) bother
Christine: brilliant?? snort if u say so, writing more......now
Evil Pureblood: Thank you so much! As 4 the Hermione becoming like George, u know the saying – Hell hath no fury as a woman scorned!
Dragonfaerie1186: true it's hiding most of the time, but remember the Polyjuice potion? That was kinda mischevious ( thankies!
Brittany Malfoy: thank you so much!
ShinakaStar: I am continuing it! glad you think it's funny.
Miss Elvira: thanks a bunch, will make him squeal – you can count on that! ( Sorry I only had the first chapter up
(::) text cookie by Ron's Best Mate
Chapter 2 – the first two tasks
¸,ø ¤º°°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ ø,¸¸,ø ¤º°°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ ø,¸¸,ø ¤º°°º¤¸,ø¤
Hermione awoke to the dawn light filtering through the curtains of her canopy bed. Rising quickly, she showered and dressed at record pace; after all, she had a lot of work to do in preparation for her revenge. Thinking of that particular thing, a malicious grin spread across her face, warning everyone that she was not a girl to be tangled with. Checking the time, she noticed with a satisfied grin that it was just past 6am and, careful not to wake any of her peers, stole out of her room, down the stairs and out the portrait hole.
Walking across the grounds, she hummed softly to herself, confident that it was too early for anyone to be up in order to see her. Unbeknownst to her though, a pair of peri-winkle blue eyes watched her over the top of half moon spectacles, twinkling merrily from the astronomy tower.
When she reached the border of Hogwarts, she looked around and sure that no one was watching apparated to Diagon Alley. Hermione had gotten her apparition licence in the middle of her sixth year much to the not so much surprise but amazement of her friends, who had that very night thrown a celebratory party for her with the whole of Gryffindor tower in attendance. Smiling at the fond memory, she appeared with a muffled pop at the Leaky Cauldron, the witches, wizards. Hags etc. not even flinching at her sudden appearance, they were so used to people randomly appearing. Taking off her robe, she stuffed it inside her bag, revealing ordinary muggle jeans and T- shirt underneath.
Pulling the list from her back pocket, she re-read the first couple of tasks; 1. During potions lessons, wear fake teeth and claim you invented the question mark. 2. Ask him if he's ever watched Barney.
She didn't need anything for 2 except maybe a whole lot of courage, so that meant that all she had to buy for now was fake teeth. Exiting the ramshackle bar, Hermione stepped out into muggle London and blinked in the sudden light. Walking along the path with no particular destination in mind, she kept an eye out for any shop, which might stock fake teeth and indulged in childhood memories of Barney.
As a child, blissfully unaware of the fact that she was a witch she had often watched TV and now remembered the first time she had seen the giant purple dinosaur. She had been five at the time and had been home with her mother when he and all his friends had suddenly appeared on her screen. Hermione had screamed at the shocking purple colour and her mother had come running, enveloping her in a hug and switching the TV off. After that, she hadn't seen it again, still scared and when older, too mature.
Suddenly spying a costume shop that looked promising, Hermione abruptly turned right and entered the building, a golden bell above the door signalling her arrival. The place was old and dusty, but the costumes themselves were in perfect condition. Browsing through the racks, she came across fairy costumes, mermaid costumes and even witch costumes, complete with warty noses and fake nails.
"Can I help you with anything?" a short, bald man said, surprising her by popping his head over her shoulder.
"Umm, do you stock fake teeth?" Hermione inquired, feeling more then a tad silly and backing away a bit.
The bald man didn't seem to be phased by this and answered as though people came to him asking for fake teeth all the time, which considering where she was, they probably did.
"I'm sorry Miss, but we ran out yesterday and have yet to receive more," Hermione's face fell at this – time was running out before she would have to be back.
"However," the shopkeeper continued. "We do have one costume that comes with a set of fake teeth. I'm afraid you would have to buy the complete costume though".
Hermione quickly calculated how much muggle money she had, flipping her wallet open to count. She had more then enough for this and other things that she would probably need to complete the list as she didn't often spend it and so asked the man to show her the costume, which turned out to be a scientist's one complete with lab coat, glasses and teeth that had very large front teeth – even larger then hers used to be. In short, it was perfect.
Smiling maniacally, she purchased the item, the shopkeeper staring at her nervously and backing away slowly to retreat to the safety of the back room. Laughing, Hermione strolled out the door and made her solitary way back to the castle.
''''';;.,.,.,.,;';'/.,';,.,';,.,';,.',.,;.';,,.,,,,,,,,,';,.',;.,'''''';;.,. ,.,.,;';'/.,';,.,';,.,';,.',.,;.';,,.,,,,,,,,,';,.
Stretching languidly, Harry Potter aka the boy who lived, swung his legs over the edge of his bed and stood up, pulling the curtains around his bed aside. Quickly changing, he hurriedly stuffed the books that he would need for the day into his bag and attempted to flatten his hair. Not succeeding, he made his way across the small room and proceeded to poke Ron in the stomach trying to wake him up, but to no avail. All that happened was that the red-haired boy rolled over and stuck his head under his pillow, occasionally muttering "5 more minutes mom".
Stifling a snort and sighing, Harry summoned a ready prepared bucket of water from the bathroom and dumped the icy contents all over his friend, who spluttered indignantly.
"Haaaaaaaary," he whined. "Watcha have to do that for? Couldn't you have simply poked me or something?"
"Believe me Ron, I tried".
"Well, why'd you wake me up anyway?" Ron asked, grumbling under his breath in a way that eerily reminded Harry of Kreacher.
"Because breakfast will be over in 15 minutes and I'm hungry," Harry replied, knowing that the mention of food would send Ron into a flurry of activity, which it did.
Jumping up, Ron was changed and ready for class in less than three minutes and much to Harry's amusement, had put on his robe back to front. After he had pointed this out to Ron and it had been fixed, the pair made their way down to the Great Hall for the remainder of breakfast. Plonking themselves down, they looked around for Hermione. However this morning, she was nowhere to be seen, which was odd as she was usually one of the first people to enter the hall.
Just then, said girl barged through the doors, chestnut hair streaming behind her and bulging bag bouncing on her back. Reaching the Gryffindor table, she sat down, panting a bit and reached for a piece of toast.
"Hey Moine," greeted Ron. "Where've you been? Breakfast's basically over".
"Oh, just preparing for something," Hermione replied vaguely, deep in thought.
Harry and Ron decided not to press it as it was obvious that they weren't going to get anything out of her while she was in this state. Breakfast was soon over and the trio made their way down to the dungeons for first period Potions, their breath starting to mist in front of them from the draughty winds.
As the three sat down at their customary backbench, Hermione unzipped her bag, removing a white lab coat, glasses and ... teeth? The boys and several others watched, bemused, as Hermione donned the three items before sitting down as if everything was normal.
"What?" Hermione asked, noticing their expressions, at which they politely turned away. Well at least everyone besides Harry and Ron turned away. Closing his mouth, Harry appeared to be speculating deeply on something, before he cried out with an expression of realisation replacing his formerly shocked one.
"Are you doing what I think you're doing?" he asked nervously.
"And what do you think I'm doing exactly?" rallied Hermione, smirking at him, which seemed to confirm his fears.
Harry opened his mouth to speak, but closed it abruptly – speechless. He hadn't thought that Hermione would actually go through with it, just that she would sleep it off and wake up the same know-it-all bookworm that he was used too. Ron apparently had caught on too and was wearing an expression of acute disbelief.
"What's with the glasses and coat?" Harry asked, recovering from his mute state. "You only had to wear teeth"
"I know," answered Hermione. "But I had to buy the whole thing or nothing and so I thought that I might as well use it".
"Are you out of your bloody mind?" exclaimed Ron fervently, but Hermione never got the chance to reply because at that moment, Snape decided to enter the room in his usual dramatic fashion, robes sweeping behind him. Noticing Hermione and her attire, his mouth opened, but he had obviously decided to simply ignore it and swept forward to his desk.
"Today class, we will be making a potion that is known as the Veritas potion. It is basically a weaker version of the Veritaserum potion and allows the drinker to control what they say, though it must still be the truth. In other words, they can leave bits out or twist the truth as they wish. Because of this, the Veritas potion is not commonly used, but can be handy to use on muggles or those with weak will".
Hermione listened with her usual rapt attention, as Snape explained some of the side effects of the potion and such, while mentally preparing herself for what she was about to do. The instructions then appeared on the board and the students got to work. Ron had taken over Hermione's partnership with Neville and so she was with Harry today.
Halfway through the potion, Hermione realised something of vital importance to her revenge plan. If she was going to proclaim that she had invented the question mark, then she either had to do it before the Veritas was ingested or by another method. Luckily, Hermione had read about this potion and knew that if hellebore wasn't added, then the potion would be rendered useless, but with no change to the outward appearance of a working one.
Quickly, she clued Harry in on this new revelation and he agreed to it at once, because after all who would want Snape to have access to their very souls? Being a member of the Order, Harry knew that he wouldn't ask him anything to do with that, but there were lots of other things that he wouldn't want others to see.
Soon after, everyone was finished with the relatively simple potion and Harry slipped the hellebore into his pocket so that it would look as if they had used it in their potion. Pouring some of the magenta liquid into two conical flasks and corking them, the pair walked up to Snape's desk to find that they were the first ones there. Snape motioned for them to drink the potion, which they did, with nervous glances at each other first.
The potion tasted a bit like pepper up, a burning sensation filling their stomachs before abruptly dying out, most likely due to the lack of a certain plant. Wincing they watched a smirk appear on the potion master's face before he spoke.
"Potter, what is, sorry, what was your fathers first name?" he asked, adding insult to injury.
"James," Harry replied sullenly, glaring fiercely at Snape, which only gave him reason to take 10 points from Gryffindor.
Apparently, Snape was satisfied with that, as he then turned to Hermione, pondering a question that he could ask her, though he already knew that the potion worked. He knew nothing of her family so that was out of the question and didn't know much else about the girl except that she hung out with Potter and Weasley and was a know-it-all bookworm. Suddenly getting a surge of cruel inspiration, he asked his question.
"Miss Granger, are you a know-it-all bookworm?"
Harry glared at Snape even fiercer and even Hermione was surprised that he had dared ask that question. Straightening her posture, she looked him right in the eye and relied with a resounding "no".
Snape was visibly shocked. His mouth was agape and his eyes were slightly larger then usual. Taking this opportunity, Hermione opened her mouth to complete task 1.
"Did you know Professor Snape..." she began in a pompous voice a bit like Percy's and looking over her glasses at his dumbfounded expression. "...That I invented the question mark in a past life".
"You did not," Snape argued, recovering from the uncharacteristic behaviour of his top student. "It was invented by ancient Irish monks who kept cats to prevent mice and rats eating their sacred velum manuscripts. They noticed that when cats investigate some newly observed object, they tended to curl their tails into the shape of a question mark".
"Well then where did the dot come from?" Hermione inquired coyly.
"It came from...erm....um... Well it doesn't matter where the dot came from, but you certainly didn't invent it!"
"How can you be so sure? I am after all under the effects of a truth potion, which should be enough evidence to prove that I'm not lying to you and that I did indeed invent the question mark."
Here, Snape was once again dumbfounded and opened and closed his mouth like a fish out of water before once again recovering.
"Detention tonight Miss Granger," he drawled smoothly. "For lying blatantly to a teacher and wearing inappropriate clothing".
Much to his surprise, she didn't protest at all, instead looking quite smug, a thing which annoyed him to no end. Going back to their seats, they waited for the others to test their potions before they could go to Transfiguration, promising to tell Ron all about their odd conversation at lunch.
Ten minutes later, everyone's potions had been tested and they were all making their way out. Manoeuvring her way through the crowd to the front, Hermione called something out to Snape, which everyone could clearly hear and that brought forth peals of laughter from the muggleborns especially.
"Have you ever watched Barney Professor?" she asked, escaping from the classroom before he could make a reply.
¸,ø ¤º°°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ ø,¸¸,ø ¤º°°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ ø,¸¸,ø ¤º°°º¤¸,ø¤
This chapter was written in sections so sorry if I kept repeating something. Veritas is Latin for telling the truth or at least that's what the translator said it was.
This will be the last update from me in a while as I'm going to the snow tomorrow morning! Yippee! Trying boarding for the first time, I normally ski. Am scared that I'll be in a class with all these miniature 7-year-old kids! scary
REVIEW?!?!