Touda had spent the last weeks away from the others, away from the small place that might be called a home at the outskirts of GensouKai center, away from every shikigami in the whole of this realm. He had retreated to a desolate place, a place of heat and sand and harsh winds. A place where the days burned his skin and the nights froze his muscles down to the bone. But he felt little of the weather. He was absorbed in a world of pain that was only in his soul.
His black soul. A soul that should have been destroyed.
Curled up in the shadow of some rocks, the serpent gazed out over the burning hot, white sand without even seeing a single grain.
The bond was silent, Tsuzuki out of his reach. His master had shut down his side, had locked him out, was dealing with his pain alone. Touda felt abandoned… lost… so very much alone.
He had hurt Tsuzuki. By law he should have been exterminated, wiped from the face of this existence. He shouldn't be here, bonded to his master, the source of the shinigami's suffering.
I hurt him, he thought over and over again. The one soul I swore to protect with my life, who I would never lay a finger on, who means so much to me. My freedom, my hope, the end of my torment.
He whimpered, a barely audible sound passing his chapped lips.
Food and water were alien terms to him. Shikigami could last without nourishment for a while, but Touda was pushing the limits.
He didn't care.
His decision stood. He was unworthy of Tsuzuki's protection and his care. He had betrayed him in the worst possible way. Touda knew he couldn't kill himself with a sword because it would rebound through the bond, probably pull Tsuzuki back into the depression and suicidal depths he had just crawled out of. No, he would do it slowly. He would kill himself one step at a time, severe the bond carefully… and Tsuzuki would be free to find another shikigami to balance him.
You'll be free, he thought dimly, smiling a little. You deserve to be free of me.
Tsuzuki's gentle soul should not be burdened by the touch of a killer, a lethal creature like him.
I love you too much to let that happen.
His only warning came a split second before she appeared. There was a flicker of energy as Suzaku materialized and Touda was on his feet with a speed that might be called astounding if no one had ever seen him move before he had started to starve himself. Now it wasn't fast enough to avoid the sharp blade of the other fire shikigami and he felt the cold steel cut into his flesh and bone.
"So here you're hiding!" Suzaku raged. "Coward! You think I won't find you to kick your ass?"
Touda couldn't reply. Pain, no… agony, raced along his very nerves and warm blood gushed out from the wound. He wrapped his arms around the injury almost instinctively, as if trying to keep the blood inside his abused body.
He heard Suzaku's voice, her taunts, but he didn't reply.
"So you lost your appetite to fight already, snake? Desert doesn't become you?" Suzaku harrumphed and drew herself up to her full height, then threw back her head. "Well, you better find a good hiding place before I come back and give you an ass kicking you won't forget for what you did to Tsuzuki!" And she disappeared.
Touda sank to his knees, gasping in pain. Gods, it hurt. It hurt so badly.
With a whimper he curled up, sand and debris clinging to the blood that now left his body.
Maybe death wasn't so far away any more.

Tsuzuki had left GensouKai and none of his shikigami had tried to stop him. Confused and angry the shinigami had stepped through the gateway between the worlds.
For two weeks no one saw nor heard of him. Byakko felt no Summons, neither did the others.
It hurt. It was as painful as any physical wound.
And Touda had disappeared.
It was on the eighteenth day that Tsuzuki finally returned. Byakko felt his master's arrival and hope coursed through the worried shikigami. He leaped down the stairs and ran toward where Tsuzuki had arrived, eyes scanning for him, needing to see he was okay. What met him was a pale, pained looking shadow of his friend. Tsuzuki looked like death warmed over, like he had slept little in those weeks, and Byakko mewled softly to himself in distress.
Hisoka was at his side, keeping close but not touching. There was a determined expression in those intense green eyes.
There was a small displacement of air and Suzaku appeared, sword drawn but not looking like she would attack. She touched down gracefully, her wild look and outfit telling she had been in a confrontation.
And then Byakko smelled it.
Blood.
Red eyes fell on the sword and he inhaled sharply.
Suzaku had hit something or someone with it, wounding the person in question, and it had left blood on the blade. A lot of blood.
"Suzaku…" Byakko whispered, horrified.
The last war had also been the last confrontational fight where blood had been shed. Ever since peace had reigned.
"Tsuzuki, you're back!" the phoenix shikigami exclaimed joyfully, smiling widely at her master.
Tsuzuki blinked a little, then his eyes fell on the drawn sword as well.
"Suzaku… what happened?" he asked, stunned.
She blinked, then looked at the sword. "Oh, I had a run-in with Touda. That snake…"
She stopped at the hardening lines of Tsuzuki's face. Byakko felt something inside him grow cold. Hisoka's features shifted from wariness to disbelief, eyes on the stained sword. He had paled considerably.
She had run into Touda… The blood on the sword… it was a lot. Too much!
"You… hurt him?" Tsuzuki whispered, horrified.
"I barely scratched him, Tsuzuki. You know how it goes. I mean, it's something to keep the blood going." Suzaku shrugged. "It's a game. Don't worry."
Byakko stepped closer, eyes still on the amount of blood. That hadn't been a paper cut. That had gone deep.
"Too much blood," he whispered.
Suzaku gazed at him, then finally looked at her weapon.
Slit eyes widened in horror.
Fingers opened.
It clattered to the ground and she gasped.
"No!"
So much blood. Still dripping. Still staining the blade.
"Suzaku, what did you do?!" Tsuzuki exclaimed.
"I… I…" She was pale as a sheet, eyes large and round in her shocked features.
"What did you do?!" the shinigami demanded, voice hard and sharp.
Byakko flinched and saw how Hisoka stepped back, eyes wide, probably trying to uphold his shields.
"I… I felt his presence. I just… you know… I struck out at him… It was as always…" Tears filled her eyes. "I didn't… I couldn't have…"
"Where?"
Tsuzuki's voice was like a whip lash, making her wince back from the intensity.
"The remote desert… he was there and… Tsuzuki… I…"
But Tsuzuki didn't listen. He turned to Byakko, who could read his master's intent in the determined eyes. He changed into his tiger form and Tsuzuki easily jumped onto his back.
"Hisoka…" Tsuzuki started.
The boy just nodded. "I'll stay here. You go and find him."
Byakko took off immediately. He knew where the desert was and part of him wondered what Touda had been doing there. Another was just plain scared.

Byakko flew across vast expanses of deserted landscape. The vegetation was growing less and less, the sand taking more of the land, and soon they were in the true desert, the sun beating down on them. They were now entering the vastness of the outer most region of their land, a place where little grew, very little really lived, and only a few shikigami had ever ventured. It was a solitary place, hot and unforgiving, and even the hardest of them wouldn't spend too much time in these regions.
But Touda had come here.
Why?
To hide? Most likely.
Well, Suzaku had found him and she had done what she always did. She had attacked.
And she had wounded him.
Tsuzuki's fury at the sight of the blood on her sword had made them all cower. Suzaku had been so pale, so frightened of her beloved shinigami, Byakko had felt for her. Suzaku had played her usual game and she had expected Touda to follow, to evade her attacks, to exchange a few blows, then simply turn around and leave.
He hadn't.
Now he lay here somewhere, injured… in this desert.
Byakko touched down close to the rock formation Suzaku had told them she had last seen Touda. If the serpent had left it would be hard to follow a trail.
But he hadn't left.
Byakko's insides clenched and he heard Tsuzuki's cry of horror as the man slid off his back, stumbling over the hot sand to where the unmoving form of Touda lay.
Curled up in a fetal position, barely in the shadow of the rocks, he appeared lifeless. His skin was burned, red and blistering, The hair was sandy, unkempt. His hands were only covered by torn, black gloves. There was no sign of his battle claws. The black shirt and pants were torn in many places, red skin peeking out.
"Touda!" Tsuzuki cried, sinking to his knees, uncaring of the hot sand. "Touda!"
He touched his shikigami, but there was no sign of life.
Byakko came closer, lowering his massive head and sniffing gently.
"He's still alive, but I smell blood, Tsuzuki."
The shinigami gave a distressed whimper and carefully rolled the unconscious man onto his back. Byakko groaned silently.
There was a long and very deep wound running across the muscular chest, oozing blood, and crusted with sand. Tsuzuki's hands were shaking as he ran tentative fingers over the uninjured part of the chest.
"Touda…"
"We have to get him out of here," Byakko growled. "He needs help."
Tsuzuki swallowed. "Who would help him?"
Byakko blinked, red eyes staring at his shinigami. This was the man who could order every single of his shikigami to aide him, but who wouldn't even think of forcing them to do anything they might not like.
"I will. Can you lift him up?"
Violet eyes gazed at him, thunderstruck, then Tsuzuki spontaneously hugged him, fingers clenching into the long mane. "Thank you, Byakko!"
The tiger gave a deep rumble.
Tsuzuki managed to get the unconscious serpent onto Byakko's back, though it was an effort. The wind shikigami felt the heat radiating from the wounded being, smelled the blood, and he sensed the weak life energy. He lifted off seconds after Tsuzuki was on his back, flying back as fast as he could.