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Authors' note: we wrote this story before we discovered #12 on the Net. #11 was the last manga published in Germany and all the information we could find on the shikigami was in there. So Kouchin has no part in healing Touda. We're taking a few liberties as to who's a healer. Forgive us.
Actually, #12 plays next to no role in our stories as we developed the story line before discovering it. We're adjusting the next ones as much as our plot idea lets us, but a few things just never happened. And don't ask what happened to Kurikara ;)
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Hisoka had woken in one of the many guest rooms, feeling like he had been on a drinking binge. His head ached, his body felt weak, and his shields were shot through with cracks and holes. It took him a while to get to his feet and leave the room. Like on automatic he tuned in to Tsuzuki and followed the faint pulses.
His partner seemed to have quieted down. He was no longer upset, distressed or threatening to fall into a black abyss.
"Hisoka?"
He turned and met the large red eyes of Byakko. "Tsuzuki?" he inquired.
"With Touda."
"Is he okay?"
Byakko's lips were a thin line and he looked older than usual. "Rikugo treated him, but he needs time. He… his body is weak."
"I want to see him."
The tiger hesitated a moment, then nodded, leading the way. Hisoka felt Tsuzuki's presence strengthen, so much calmer than before, but not completely settled yet.
Byakko carefully opened the door and Hisoka stepped into the bedroom, sharp eyes taking in the scene. Tsuzuki was on the bed, sitting beside the still form of Touda. Hisoka's eyes were glued to the pale, bandaged shikigami.
The visor was gone.
The visor… the control mechanism…
"Tsuzuki?" he whispered.
Tired, close to exhausted eyes looked up and a smile crossed the pale face. "Hey."
He came carefully closer, studying his partner and the patient on the bed. Touda looked even worse than Tsuzuki, eyes closed, skin badly burned and blistered from the sun. His short hair lay limp and damp. Tsuzuki had one hand resting on the unconscious man.
"Did I hit you?" Tsuzuki asked, leaning head against the wall behind the bed.
Hisoka shrugged.
"Sorry."
"Stop apologizing. You're not to blame. How is he?"
"Sleeping. He's weak, hurt…" A sigh. "We were almost too late."
"But you weren't. He'll be fine." Hisoka came closer.
"I'll be staying here," his partner said softly. "I won't leave him again."
"You want me to stay with you?"
"You don't have to. I think Tatsumi would want at least one of us back and working." Tsuzuki smiled a little.
Hisoka chuckled. "I guess."
He closed the last of the distance and leaned down, kissing his partner softly. Part of him was aware that Byakko was still hanging around, but he couldn't care less. Tsuzuki responded in kind, one hand coming up to carefully cup his neck.
Hisoka pulled back and looked into a pair of thankful, tired eyes. He stroked the pale face, smiling a little.
"You should get some rest as long as you can."
"I will. I promise."
Hisoka left not much later, reluctant but knowing he had to get back and tell Tatsumi why his partner would remain in GensouKai.
Touda woke to a splitting headache, a sharp ache in his chest that quickly turned into lances of agony that took his breath away. Then something else registered -- the clear sensation of lying naked underneath silky sheets. He blinked his eyes open and one hand immediately came to his face.
No visor.
He was completely naked, in every sense of the word. Right down to the absence of his control mechanism.
Then he became aware of the presence next to him and he turned his head, freezing at the sight.
Tsuzuki Asato, his master, the man he had hurt so badly, was sitting next to him in bed, upper body resting against the headboard, clearly dozing.
Memories came back. Memories that were blurry and unclear, except for one thing: Tsuzuki. His master had found him, had yelled at him, had cried, had begged and pleaded, had pulled him out of his hiding place, the place he had chosen to die in.
Touda brushed one hand over the bandages on his chest. They were clean and smelled of healing ointments.
Rikugo…
The astrologer had probably not treated him voluntarily, so Tsuzuki had ordered him to.
No…
Touda felt cold at the thought of Tsuzuki ordering any of the others around because of him.
Why had he looked for him? Why had he rescued him?
He raked shaky fingers through his hair.
Why? Whywhywhy?
"Because you're important to me," a tired voice answered his unspoken questions.
Touda's head whipped up, the hammering behind his eyes increasing, his chest and abdomen protesting sharply, and he stared at a very much awake Tsuzuki. There was a little smile on the pale lips.
"You're projecting," the shinigami added softly, touching his head.
"I… apologize, master," he stammered and evaded the violet eyes.
Strong fingers slipped under his chin and raised his head, making him meet the intense gaze.
"Don't call me that, Touda. Never again."
"But you are…"
"I'm your friend. Nothing more, nothing less. I don't want a submissive, I want an ally, a friend… I want Touda as I knew him."
He swallowed, unable to tear his eyes away from the violet orbs that fascinated him so much.
"You should not have come after me," he heard himself say.
"I should never have left you behind," Tsuzuki told him calmly. "It was a mistake. You misunderstood... everyone did."
Touda hadn't misunderstood. He had clearly felt the anger and rejection, the disdain and the… hatred. He had felt his last chances slip away. Tsuzuki had saved him from destruction through the others, but he had abandoned him. He had cast him away.
The fingers under his chin turned into a hand cupping his face, a thumb stroking him gently.
"You're still my shikigami, Touda. I would never abandon you. I love you as much as the others. I'm proud to have you as my friend."
"I hurt you," he stammered. "How… how can you…? I should be sentenced and…"
"No," was the fierce answer. "No, never! You swore loyalty to me, only to me. You swore never to hurt me. You didn't. Your intentions were good… to help me."
"I failed."
Tsuzuki still smiled. "It doesn't change what I want and what I feel."
Touda trembled a little and tried to pull away, but Tsuzuki wouldn't let him. He felt the bond between them and it felt so good, but he didn't deserve this. He had hoped that with his death another shikigami could take his place. Byakko maybe…
"No one can replace you," Tsuzuki told him.
Shit, he was radiating his every thought. It spoke of his weakness, his failure…
"I need you, Touda. You're very much part of me. You're part of the darkness inside me. I need you, I love you, and there is nothing you or any of the others can do to destroy this."
Touda swallowed.
Tsuzuki suddenly leaned forward, placing an unexpected kiss on his closed lips. It wasn't more than a loving contact between friends.
The serpent froze.
His body stiffened, his muscles locked up, and his eyes widened. Pain answered his action, the wound screaming in agony, but he refused to fall victim to it.
Tsuzuki pulled back and smiled gently.
"I won't ever abandon you, Touda. You're mine. As you protect me, I will protect you."
He couldn't but lower his eyes, humbled by this unconditional declaration of loyalty. He had betrayed his master, had shamed and embarrassed him, he had made him angry, but still Tsuzuki had saved him, loved him… wanted him.
"I'm proud of you," Tsuzuki whispered.
And the bond was alive between them. Touda felt the presence he had missed, pulsing and warm and so bright. Tsuzuki was and always had been his beacon. He had missed that light, but he had seen no chance for him to ever feel it again. Now he had been forgiven again.
He owed him so much.
So very, very much that he could never repay.
Tsuzuki moved a little and Touda looked up, a flash of fear racing through him. He received a calming smile again.
"I'll just get the supplies. I want to check your wounds."
The wounds. Yes. He touched the bandages around his chest. The wounds still pulsed, spiking with pain, speaking of his weakness, but the pain inside his soul had been much worse.
Tsuzuki unwrapped his chest and then proceeded to clean the healing injury. He was careful, gentle. Touda saw the stitches, the ugly, deep cut, and when Tsuzuki applied the ointment Touda winced briefly. It drew an immediate apology, but the shikigami just smiled slightly. Each of Tsuzuki's touches was gentle, caring, and Touda relaxed under his hands.
For the first time he noticed the bedroom. It wasn't a guest room but someone's sleeping quarters. At his question, Tsuzuki grinned a little.
"Byakko took you to his home. We thought it was the best."
He was at Byakko's?
"Your clothes are gone. They were kinda… torn and dirty. Byakko said he'd get you something to wear when you're ready to get up.
"I can leave," Touda said immediately.
"No!" Tsuzuki interrupted. "You'll stay here until you're healed."
Touda swallowed his protests and instead addressed another topic on his mind.
"The control mechanism…"
"I took it off and it'll stay off as long as I see fit," came the level answer.
"The others won't like it."
Amethyst eyes hardened. "I don't really care at this point."
Touda felt himself shiver a little.
"Touda… would you attack me?"
"No!" he blurted, horrified at the very thought.
"The control mechanism keeps your powers in check, rendering you senseless, so to speak," Tsuzuki told him matter-of-factly. "It's there so the others feel safe. I never liked it, but it wasn't my decision to make. It was the only condition they had for releasing you into my service. I trust you, Touda. I trust you with my life and I also trust you with my soul."
He felt his breath hitch in his throat. He had abused that trust already…
"Your intentions were not to harm and I know you would never do anything to hurt me." Tsuzuki smiled calmly. "I trust you implicitly. The visor stays off as long as you are here."
"Thank you," the fire serpent said softly.
He didn't deserve this. He never had. He didn't deserve Tsuzuki. He should be in prison for all eternity or dead.
But here he was, with this wonderful human being, his reason to live. He served Tsuzuki, his will was Touda's life, Touda's life was Tsuzuki's to command. His master. He could never be an equal to this unpretending man.
Tsuzuki had left Touda in Byakko's care. He knew the tiger wouldn't hurt the injured shikigami and he would protect him. Touda had been asleep when Tsuzuki had left and it was better that way. If Touda had known where he was headed and for what purpose…
Halfway between Byakko's palace and his destination he was stopped by Suzaku. The phoenix looked meek, as small as Byakko had just mere hours before, and she tried to both look at him and evade his gaze.
"Tsuzuki… I… I'm so sorry. I didn't know… I didn't… I didn't think. I'm so sorry!"
He looked at her, her torn and pained expression. "Don't tell me that, Suzaku. I'm not the one you nearly killed."
Her eyes widened even more and she gave a soft whimper. "I didn't want to kill him…"
"Maybe not, but it's what you nearly did. He was in no shape to defend himself, Suzaku. You all pushed him away, you didn't care, and all you thought about was your so-called game."
Tsuzuki sighed tiredly.
"I… I know you don't like him, but… to hurt him like this. How much can one hate and how long?"
With that he turned and continued his path to the first of his true confrontations. Suzaku remained behind, routed to the spot, arms wrapped around herself as if she was either cold or hurting.
Tsuzuki pushed open the doors of the palace and stalked past startled servants who didn't dare stop him, through the main office room, which was as always busy, and into the private section of the immense building. He knew where to find the owner of this place.
Brushing past several rooms that held more office space where low level shikigami were working, he finally was in the inner sanctum.
It was a place only a few people had access to; he was one of them.
Sohryu sat at his desk, dressed in black pants, a light gray shirt without any ornamentation and the elaborate hair style now gone. His long, blue hair hung down his back, held together by a simple, braided clasp. Even like this he still radiated the power he wielded, but the outer signs of his position had been exchanged for the more private appearance. As Tsuzuki entered, the non-human eyes rose from what Sohryu had been reading, widening a little.
"Tsuzuki," he started, then stopped and added, "Master…"
"Drop the master crap, Sohryu!" Tsuzuki growled and shut the door, giving them complete privacy. The personal assistants and servants had seen him. No one would dare interrupt them now.
Sohryu rose and his face showed a mixture of indecision and submission.
"I found Touda," Tsuzuki said without greeting. "I brought him home. He's currently at Byakko's place."
Sohryu opened his mouth to say something but Tsuzuki brutally cut him off.
"Don't even think about going there or ordering the guards! Touda is my shikigami, mine to command as I see fit! He is my responsibility, a responsibility you ignored! You judged and tried him without my permission! You sentenced him without ever hearing my side! You trusted in what Rikugo said after he scanned me without my permission!" He stressed the last words.
Sohryu flinched under them like whip lashes.
"You took law into your own hand! You only saw his past without taking the present into account! You ruled over him as if you were his master, Sohryu!"
The dragon physically stepped back under the verbal assault. He had never seen Tsuzuki like that, and Tsuzuki felt a rage that had never touched him before either. Power streamed off him in waves, making even the Protector of the East cringe.
"You are prejudiced, Sohryu. You, the leader of this world! You took one look at Touda and found him guilty of a crime you didn't even know what it was!"
"He influenced you," Sohryu spoke up.
"He sent me a dream because he wanted to help me!"
"How do you know that?" the dragon growled.
Tsuzuki glared at him. "Because I trust Touda. He would never harm me!"
Sohryu's eyes narrowed as he faced off against his master as much as the shikigami would dare after what had happened lately.
"He could be influencing you without you knowing it, Tsuzuki. You believe him too easily. You trust him too easily. Touda is a criminal, a traitor, who killed his kind in the war, regardless what side they were on."
Tsuzuki felt something inside of him boil and it was most likely palpable even outside, given how Sohryu suddenly moved uneasily, eyes taking on a nervous quality.
"You pretentious asshole!" the shinigami erupted in an uncharacteristic flare of rage. "Once judged, always guilty, right?! Touda's been my shikigami for decades! He has never ever done anything to harm me, not in those past years, nor in the months we've been bonded now! His loyalty is unquestionable!"
"He hurt you, Tsuzuki. I cannot forgive him that."
"So did Rikugo! He scanned me without permission, which is by far worse than sending a dream of which Touda had no control. He did it to make me feel better; Rikugo breeched my privacy."
Sohryu drew a deep breath, clearly shaken. "I cannot trust him. His influence…"
Tsuzuki had had enough. "Come with me!" he ordered.
"Tsuzuki…" Sohryu stopped the moment those amethyst eyes nailed him.
"I said come with me, shikigami!"
And he did. Meekly, he followed his master as Tsuzuki stalked through the palace, heading to the only place where he knew the truth could not be hidden.
Rikugo hadn't left the observatory ever since Tsuzuki had gone home to his dimension – except for the brief visit to Byakko's palace to treat the traitor.
No, not a traitor, he reminded himself. If Touda was a traitor, so was he. He had done something even worse than send a dream; he had actively scanned his master in his sleep. It was a crime. It was a betrayal worse than what Touda had done.
Rikugo had retreated to his inner sanctum, had ignored everything around him, and after some hours of quiet contemplation his mind had needed his body to do something.
So he had started to clean up.
His study had never been this clean, his books and scrolls never as orderly, and he had actually filed away more in that time than in the whole last year.
No one disturbed him, not even Genbu. The Protector of the North had kept his distance from his pupil, watching him without interfering.
It was while Rikugo was contemplating whether or not to move a particular shelf completely that the door to his study flew open and Tsuzuki walked in. Rikugo froze.
Then he paled dramatically as he discovered that the shinigami was not alone. His master had brought Sohryu along. The dragon looked drawn between furious and clearly disturbed.
There was only one thought flashing through Rikugo's mind and it terrified him like nothing else.
'He came to have me arrested for my crimes against him.'
