What had he been thinking?
Not much. Not much at all. He had reacted to an invitation.
Touda stalked through the deserted valley, glaring at every hapless little pebble that got in his way.
He had slept with Byakko! That annoying fur ball! He had slept with a Protector, a God, and, damn… it had been good.
Centuries without a bed partner… and he had been bedded by that persistent little tiger. It had been just a mutual hand job, but it had given him a taste of something he hadn't had in a very long time. Something he hadn't given a thought. Well, in that cell he hadn't thought about sex a lot. He hadn't thought about much at all. The shikigami had resigned himself to his fate, his mind occupied with darker matters, with death and destruction and a loss that had nearly destroyed him in turn. He had lost track of time. He had lost track of life.
And in the decades since then, after Tsuzuki had freed him, he hadn't considered a mate.
Whoa! Screeching halt! Mate?
Bed partner.
Leave it at that.
Byakko had been a convenient release. Right?
Touda sank onto a rock and stared at the white water river. The noise was drowning out all other sound and in a way it was soothing.
White noise.
He almost smiled.
Why him? his mind insisted. Why Byakko? Why the tiger?
Touda had known the God since he had been freed. He had never seen more than a fellow shikigami in Tsuzuki's services in him. He had known who he was, what he was, and that was that. No interaction aside from the necessary ones. He had talked to him, but never more than a few words. He had neither been friendly nor hostile.
But now he had gotten to know Byakko. The tiger had taken care of him, had taken him in, for crying out loud! He could have decided to leave him in one of the guest rooms. Or somewhere else. He had servants who could have gotten him a room.
No, he had slept in the main bedroom, in Byakko's bed. The wind shikigami had nursed him back to health, had been there, had talked to him, had just offered his friendship… and had expected what in return? What could Touda give him?
Nothing. He was a traitor, a pardoned criminal… not to be trusted.
Touda groaned and rubbed his forehead. He hadn't had a headache in ages; now it was slowly turning into a migraine.
Why had Byakko taken him to bed? It wasn't like the white tiger had been the demanding part. No, he had been the giving one. He had let Touda take him, lead the encounter, and he had let him go. There had been no demands… none at all.
Three weeks! He had been at Byakko's palace for three weeks and he had taken him to bed! That had to be a new record.
Shit.
Why?
When had Byakko turned into such an attractive partner that he would voluntarily let him touch him? Aside from changing the bandages. When had he even remotely considered giving him sexual release, letting the other shikigami touch him with such gentleness, with such love and need, and return the favor. Why had he let him kiss him?
Touda closed his eyes.
Damn.
Damndamndamn.
He was so screwed.
Because he wanted more. He wanted to feel that lithe body in his arms again, he wanted to run his hands over that warm, toned skin, kiss those lips, hear the mewls and cries of pleasure. He wanted to feel the tail brushing over his naked skin, he wanted to hear the purr…
He wanted Byakko.

They had seen little of each other, though it wasn't from lack of trying on Byakko's side. The tiger didn't actively search for Touda, but whenever the fire serpent was around, he invited him for tea, for dinner, for breakfast, for a movie, for whatever came to mind. Some invitations were taken, others politely declined. Byakko wasn't deterred. He enjoyed Touda's presence, his nearness, and while no more intimate moments had followed the one and a half they had shared, he wouldn't give up on the black shikigami.
He also didn't give up on convincing Touda he was always welcome to stay for more than the time he did. Byakko had no idea where Touda lived. He had no palace in the center of GensouKai and he wondered where the serpent always went.
One day he followed him.
Secretly.
And he was horrified by his discovery.
Then again, what had he really expected? A wonderful little house? A hidden palace? Splendor? This was Touda, the traitor. The one who had been pardoned and was barely tolerated. This was the one shikigami everyone in GensouKai knew and avoided if possible.
No, there was no splendor here. No servants, no luxury, nothing at all. Touda's chosen home was a wooden cabin that looked like the next storm could uproot it. The roof had grass and moss on it, an old tree spread some shelter, and there was a tiny vegetable garden behind it. A stream ran close by.
Byakko hid in the forest, staring in utter shock at the run-down place that had to be hundreds of years old. Large stones made up the foundation of the hut, probably keeping it upright, and a well-trodden path led into the forest behind it. He sneaked closer, peeking into the cabin.
Inside was nothing much. A tiny stove, a futon mattress, a low table. That was it.
Bare. Spartan.
Sinking onto his haunches, the tiger shook his head. Touda lived like the poorest beggar! But he looked healthy, strong… where did he get his food from? He had no servants and no funds. Once a Divine Commander he had been stripped of all rank and privileges and even the pardon hadn't given him back any of that.
He was given his answer when he decided to follow Touda for a day, keeping out of sight of the older shikigami. Touda's senses were badly impaired by the control mechanism, and he couldn't sense another's aura until the person was right on top of him.
So Byakko followed and, hidden underneath a cape and cowl, arrived in a small village. Some of the villagers shot him odd looks, sensing the aura of a high level shikigami among them, wondering who the man in the robes was. With rising desperation he watched Touda go to the place where the local market's old food was collected at the end of a day. It had been thrown away because no one wanted to buy old or less than fresh bread or vegetables. Street people and the poor flocked toward the sole stand and Touda, with a dignity that was deeply ingrained, did the same. He picked up a box full of old food and turned, watched by the towns people with varying degrees of distrust, wariness and fear.
Byakko whimpered silently to himself.
No. No, that couldn't be true! Did any of the others know how far the mighty serpent had fallen?
Probably not.
And even if they did, they wouldn't care.
But he did. He cared a lot. And did Tsuzuki know? No, Byakko decided. He didn't or he would have put an end to it somehow. Touda wouldn't tell him and the others were turning a blind eye to him.
One of the merchants, an old woman, walked up to the still fear-inspiring shikigami, bowed, and handed him a bag. She was one of the bakers and from what Byakko could see and smell, it was bread. Old bread. Stale.
Oh Touda… he moaned.
Touda took the offered food, bowed his head briefly, then left the market place. He didn't look at anyone or anything, but he drew looks. Wary and frightened, even though he hadn't threatened anyone. He didn't demand food, he just took scraps, what the people would otherwise throw away.
Byakko sank down the wall of the alley he had hidden in, tears in his eyes.

He had chosen the remote little lake in one of the many valleys of the west as his thinking spot. Byakko had come here quite often in his life, had tossed pebbles, watched the sun set or rise, depending on what time he had come here, and he had seen the changes of the landscape in the past centuries.
Today he had no eyes for the landscape, the sun or the lake as such. He was staring at the water without seeing it, tossing a few small pebbles as he turned them between his fingers.
The last few days he had done nothing but think. About his life so far, about the latest changes, about… Touda. He couldn't get the fire shikigami out of his head and it had nothing to do with the revelation of how the other lived.
Why am I so interested in Touda? Why did I sleep with him? Why do I feel so… so much…? Three weeks and I fell for him.
He had known Touda for so long and never given him another thought. Not even remotely. A convicted criminal, a pardoned criminal, Tsuzuki's shikigami… and lately Tsuzuki's bonded shikigami. His counter-weight.
Too much had happened in such a short time. Touda's arrest, the trial, Tsuzuki's intervention… Touda disappearing, almost dying… For the first time he had seen him as something else than a black-clad serpent with an attitude. He had seen the gentleness, the tenderness, the fear and vulnerability. He had seen what was behind the visor… and it weren't just two fascinating, golden eyes. There was a tormented, lonely soul. A soul that clung to Tsuzuki for stability and survival, that hated to rely on anyone or anything, but it needed warmth.
Byakko had given him some of that warmth.
It wasn't like he had been in heat at the time. Not that feline shikigami went into heat at all; that was a myth. But Hell, it had felt like he had been! He still wanted more. It had been so… incredible.
What was wrong with him?
Byakko, old boy, you have a problem. It's tall, likes black and has an attitude. You fell for Touda.

He returned to GensouKai center, not much clearer on his thoughts or his feelings, except that he did feel a lot for Touda. He had… fallen for him. The fire serpent. Byakko, Protector of the West, had fallen for a convicted mass murderer who was shunned or hated by almost everyone in this realm.
Why me?!
He sighed softly and shook his head. Three weeks, and he was in love.
"Are you sad?"
The child-like voice drew him out of his thoughts and he discovered that Tenkou was watching him. The girl sat on a bench, swinging her legs, wide blue eyes looking curiously at him.
Byakko sat down next to her. "Kinda."
"Did you lose something?"
"In a way."
"Can I help you find it?" Tenkou offered.
"I don't know. It's my heart, Tenkou."
"You want me to help you find it again?"
Oh, the sweet innocence of children. If it were that easy… "I don't think you can."
She tilted her head. "Do you like someone?"
"Why do you think so?"
"Kijin said that when my father met Aya he had lost his heart, too."
Byakko smiled. "Yes. I think I like someone very much."
"That's nice. So why are you sad?" she wanted to know.
"Because I don't know if he likes me, too."
"Why don't you ask my father? When I don't know something, I ask him. You want to ask him?"
Byakko coughed. "I don't think he can help me, Tenkou."
"How about Rikugo? He knows a lot."
"No, I don't think so either."
Tenkou looked thoughtful. "And Kijin? I go to Kijin if it's something the grown-ups shouldn't know."
Byakko smiled a little more. "I appreciate the offer, princess, but this is something no one but I can help myself with."
She stuck out her lower lip, thinking hard. "Then you have a problem."
He almost laughed. Oh really? He wouldn't have figured.
"Byakko?" Tenkou asked after a while, swinging her legs.
"Hm?"
"Why don't you ask him?"
"Who?"
"The one you like?"
He was silent for a moment. "Because I'm scared, kid. Because I'm scared."
"Why?" she pressed on like only a child could.
"He might not like me."
"But you don't know that if you don't ask him."
"Yeah. That's my problem, princess."
Tenkou suddenly jumped off the bench and ran over to a small field of flowers, picking a few. She ran back to Byakko and held up the wild flowers.
"You can give him flowers!" she exclaimed, beaming. "Flowers always make me happy. I like flowers."
Byakko almost laughed out loud, imagining handing the fire shikigami flowers. He would be so dead…
"Thanks, Tenkou."
She beamed more at him and then waved and ran off.
Children, Byakko thought. It was so easy being a kid. No complications. He looked at the flowers, smiling dimly. Too bad his problem wasn't solved as easily as picking the flowers.