Chapter 1 – Apprehension
Shigure Yamada hated his job. No, not hated, loathed it. And he'd only had it for, what? Half an hour? In fact, the first twenty-nine and a half minutes hadn't even been that bad. Oh no, what really started causing problems was when, at precisely half-past-nine, all six Dragons of Heaven and their Kamui showed up at his office, demanding an explanation. Hell, one would have been bad enough!
"Look, it's like this," he said, to the skeptical faces in front of him, as he shut his door carefully. "There's been an exponential increase in property damage due to earthquakes and epic battles lately."
This comment certainly got a few raised eyebrows. He sat down and swiveled his chair to face the group.
"In other words, you guys aren't doing your jobs properly. So, in order to pay back some of the damage you've caused, we want you to do this charity play for us. It's nothing major."
Kamui's eyes flashed and when he spoke, his voice was filled with fury. "So saving the world isn't enough now, is it?"
"Well," Shigure shuffled, and it was only due to the fact that he was a dedicated public servant that he continued, "you could do it more tidily…"
Kamui's hand slammed down on Shigure's desk, scattering papers everywhere. "Why you…!"
Sorata tried to hold him back. "Kamui, calm down!"
Shigure just gave Kamui a long-suffering glance. "Look, I think it's a stupid idea too, but I'm not the one in charge here, I'm only the producer. I organize funding for this and distribute the proceeds. You have problems with it, tough, I'm not the person to yell at."
"Just how did this idea come about?" asked Karen, as Kamui grudgingly returned to his seat. She leaned over towards Shigure alluringly, hoping to for some interesting morsel of information to slip.
He gulped at tried to keep his eyes on her face. "I…I don't know!"
"Funny that the government would know about all this too…" Seiichirou added, cheerfully, "since I don't remember putting "Dragon of Heaven" as my profession for the census last year."
Shigure fiddled with his tie, and tried not to flush. "Come on, you've been attempting to hold off the apocalypse in the city, you can't expect people not to notice these things."
Sorata, who had been about to say something, paused and held up a finger. "He's got a point, y'know."
Everyone shuffled uncomfortably. "Well…"
"So that's settled then, here are your scripts," Shigure said, seizing the moment and shoving a thick pile of books into the hands of Subaru, who happened to be sitting closest.
"But…" Yuzuriha started.
Shigure ignored her. "Show up at ten tomorrow for auditions. Now I'll have to say good-bye because I've got an appointment in five minutes."
And with that, much to their confusion, the group found themselves in the hallway, facing a closed door.
"But… we didn't even agree to anything…" Yuzuriha trailed off and sighed.
It was a rather more dejected group that exited the building. So much so that they didn't even notice the other crowd storming in past them. Luckily the newcomers seemed to too furious to realize the significance of the other group leaving, and instead stormed through the corridors like a force 10 cyclone.
As they smashed down Shigure's doors, he sighed and checked his watch. Yep, right on time. "Melodramatic, I'll give you that, but you'd better pay for that door," he said, by way of greeting. "Now, you have something to say for yourselves?"
There was a pause.
Then, Fuuma, the only one apart from Seishirou still capable of saying anything but incoherent ranting, spoke up, with a smirk. "You mentioned Kamui in pantaloons, I believe?"
"So what's the play about again?" Yuuto asked, with a cheerful smile. "I can't say I'm exactly an expert on English literature."
"Viola, this girl with a brother complex gets shipwrecked in a strange land and decides to cross-dress as her brother, who she thinks is dead, and help this obsessive stalker Count Orsino get together with the woman he loves," Satsuki recited in a bored monotone.
"I wouldn't have thought you'd be into human literature," Kanoe said, looking surprised.
"When I'm bored I read the internet," Satsuki replied. "Or at least, that tiny fraction of it which isn't porn. May I continue?"
"By all means."
"The woman, Olivia, who, incidentally, not only has a brother complex but a father one, and after their deaths decided to stay away from men, probably because she brought them bad luck or something. Naturally Viola falls in love with Orsino and Olivia falls with in love with Viola, who she thinks is a boy, and general chaos ensues, not helped by the fact that Viola's brother, Sebastian, the one who should be dead, isn't, and wanders around confusing everyone. In the end, Olivia and Orsino get one twin each and live happily ever after."
Seishirou snorted, with an amused glint in his eye. "Only one twin? Why not both? Now there's a man with no aspirations."
"The idiot should have stuck with Olivia, if she's that popular she'd have to be a babe," Yuuto disagreed. Satsuki started looking a little irritated, and Yuuto, who noticed this, instantly shut up.
Fuuma stretched out and yawned. "You're both wrong. If Orsino was a Count it would be within his power to lock them all up in his dungeon and that way he gets the twins and Olivia at the same time."
"There is more!" Satsuki steered the conversation back on topic. "There's also a sub-plot about the servants, with Maria, Olivia's maid, Sir Toby, Olivia's uncle and Sir Andrew, another doting suitor, plotting together with Feste the Fool to humiliate this other servant, Malvolio who is incredibly up himself and has a thing for Olivia as well. Essentially, there's two stories going on at the same time."
"A story within a story," Kakyou said, dreamily.
"Go back to sleep, Kakyou," Fuuma said, kindly. Kakyou obliged.
"So… we're supposed to star in that?" Kusanagi asked, breaking his usual silence.
"Oh, so you're talking to us now?" Seishirou smiled, like a crocodile.
"Looks like it," Yuuto said, hurridly, before a fight started.
"Isn't there any way we can get out of it?" Satsuki asked, plaintively.
All eyes turned to Kanoe, who shrugged, then to Kakyou.
Kakyou rolled his eyes. "There is only one future." The background changed from that of a sunny ice-cream parlor to that of the Dust Bowl at the End of the World and the other six Angels groaned simultaneously, knowing what was coming. "For the Promised Day will-"
"Get to the point," Seishirou interrupted, "some of us have jobs to go to after this."
The other Angels took a not-so-subtle step back at this, but Kakyou just sighed and said, "Yes, there's no way we can weasel out of this one-"
"Thank you, that's all we needed to know."
"But if it's any comfort to you, the Seven Seals also have some involvement in this. No doubt you'll come up with many small and large ways to make their lives more unpleasant than they already are while they huddle together in a corner and angst."
"What?! You mean they're involved in this too? But I heard nothing of this from Hinoto!" Kanoe was shocked.
"Then it appears that this even took Hinoto by surprise," Kakyou said, calmly. "Because, sure as eggs are pineapples, I didn't see this coming."
"Sure as eggs are pineapples?" Fuuma raised an eyebrow.
Kakyou scowled. "Look, I didn't come up with it, you try being a random observer to dreams and see how you are affected? I know I've got issues, but my psychologist says I'm making progress, and it's just part of what makes me a unique individual."
There was a pause.
"What's a psychologist?" asked Nataku, who had been making sand-castles in the background.
The dreamscape faded and they found themselves back in the ice-cream parlor.
"Well!" Kusanagi said, which summed it up rather nicely.
There was a further pause before Yuuto asked Kanoe, "You mean someone actually took it seriously when you suggested we all had counseling?"
"He's a dreamseer too," Kanoe pointed out. "After seeing what the Seals are like, he got quite scared and decided to have all his psychological problems sorted out before the Promised Day."
"That sounds rather unlikely," Fuuma replied, "considering his Wish is for me to kill him, so it's not like he'll enjoy the results very long."
"Okay, so I really withheld the hallucinogens from his drip. How else do you think he gets all those visions? But seriously, I truly think you should all give counseling a try."
"You've changed," observed Satsuki, "normally you don't care how homicidal, sadistic or otherwise warped we are."
Kanoe shuffled. "At work we all involuntarily went psychological assessment. I've now got an appointment with Dr Yashimoto twice a week." Her eyes glinted dangerously. "And if I go down, I'm taking you with me, you hear? Label me an exhibitionist nymphomaniac schizophrenic, will they?!"
"You forgot voyeuristic," Kakyou mumbled.
There was silence for a few seconds after the slap, and the Angels quickly resumed eating their icecream to avoid having to find something to say.
Seishirou finished his popsicle first.
"No stamina," Fuuma commented, with a grin, licking his own, which was barely started.
"No rest for the wicked," Seishirou replied, smiling, "I've got work to do."
"Don't forget your script," Nataku said, brightly, handing him the thick wad of paper.
Seishirou gave him an indulgent smile. "Thank you." He turned towards Fuuma, who was deep-throating his popsicle, smirking, and said, "Shame on you, doing such things in front of children."
"Like you can talk," Fuuma countered. He removed the stick from his mouth, swallowing the entire icecream in one go, and licked his lips.
Seishirou whistled, appreciatively. "Nice party trick."
Fuuma smirked. "Like me to demonstrate it for you sometime?"
"Demonstrate what, Daddy?" Nataku asked, looking up curiously.
"You don't want to know," Yuuto replied, turning as green as his choc-mint cone.
Seishirou chuckled, "The difference between you and I, 'Kamui', is that I have class. And also that if I attempt to pollute young children's minds I do it properly and explain what certain 'things' mean. It's so much more fun to embarrass
them that way."
Nataku was looking up at 'Daddy' and Seishirou in confusion at this point, then gave up and ate his icecream, wearing half of it in the process.
"Well, I'll be off. Goodbye all."
And with that, the meeting rapidly broke up, as the various Angels returned to their lives.
"Does anyone know what we're actually going to be auditioning as?" Kamui scowled to the rest of the Seals, who were slumped around a makeshift headquarters at CLAMP campus.
"Well, I presume as characters in the play, but if you mean which characters, I'm not sure," Karen replied, thumbing through her copy of the play, humming cheerfully as she did so. "I never imagined I'd break into the acting industry in this way!"
"Which way did you think you would?" asked Yuzuriha, her face radiating confused innocence.
Karen winked. "I'll leave it to your imagination."
Kamui, Seiichiro and Sorata blushed slightly, much to Karen's amusement, while Yuzuriha just looked even more confused. Subaru and Arashi were looking distinctly bored by the conversation already.
"Well, I guess it's fair to assume that they aren't expecting us to memorize the entire play overnight," Arashi decided, "because I doubt that's humanly possible. So maybe we've just got to read it through then show up talking about our character preferences."
There was a pause as everyone read through the brief synopsis at the beginning of the play, which summarized the various characters.
"Nee-chan, it's clear that you'd make a terrific Olivia, while I definitely want to play Orsino," Sorata announced.
"Orsino? Isn't he Olivia's obsessive stalker?" Yuzuriha said, brightly.
Sorata gave an embarrassed laugh, as the other Seals all laughed, and even Arashi and Subaru managed smiles. "Yes, well," he said, "I can sympathize with him completely. She doesn't talk to him, want to see him, it's enough to break his poor heart. She's lucky she has such a caring, determined man after her, other people would have already given up."
Arashi gave him the sort of startled look that suggested this had never occurred to her, then pursed her lips and declined commenting.
"Do you think that the casting will be determined by gender, age and appearance or by personality?" Seiichiro asked, skimming his way through the text.
No one had an answer to this.
Subaru shrugged. "I suppose it'll be up to the director. He or she is the one in charge of this, so I assume we won't really get much of a say. That's how it usually is in most jobs, isn't it? This just happens to be one of the more interesting jobs I'll have to put on my resume."
"You have a resume?" Karen asked, interested. "Do you put your profession as an Omyouji on it?"
"Well, it's my only real job qualification," Subaru pointed out, "considering I never finished high school and never have worked elsewhere, and thus have no references." He paused, considering the truth of this fact. Actually, he did have a reference, he'd done work experience at Seishirou's surgery, in the days when Seishirou had still been a vet. Somehow, he didn't think that having the Sakurazukamori on his resume would impress anyone. Terrify, perhaps, as it would the imply the threat of being assassinated if Subaru wasn't given a job (never reject the Sakurazukamori's squeeze toy if you value your life), but it hardly was impressive to anyone out of the arcane industry.
"I really hope that the charity concert covers the damage costs," Seiichiro sighed, "because I'd really have to take out a loan at this stage in my career, I don't know what my wife would think."
"I wouldn't worry about it," Sorata replied, "because there's always the 50 chance that the world will be destroyed on the promised day." He was shot a Death Glare™ by Kamui and quickly laughed and said, "Only joking, Kamui, only joking."
"Thanks for the vote of confidence," Kamui muttered, angrily.
"But what will we do if we have to pay the rest of the rebuilding costs?" Yuzuriha asked. "Does that mean…" her eyes lit up, "we could all get part-time jobs!"
With this, an apprehensive mood fell over the table at the prospect of this bizarre bunch trying to find decent employment.
"Tony-san," the Other complained, "they broke my office door. I hope your government is planning to pay for that."
"Naturally, Yamada-san," Tony replied, smoothly, "anything for our Japanese friends."
"That sounds vaguely ominous," Shigure commented.
"Oh, does it? I'm sorry."
"What does your government plan to do though, having assembled the various Dragons?"
"If we cannot avert the potentially apocalypse-causing battle, at least tip the balance so that humanity lives to breathe another day. You probably wouldn't be surprised to know that we've got an entire Bureau devoted to it. At the moment, we've got agents in the Otori academy, investigating 'World's End', not to mention people investigating several other incidents across the world. In other words, the same line of work as you.."
"True," Shigure, conceded, "although my role is more that of a lowly bureaucrat, just gathering information."
"In other words, you're a spy keeping an eye on what I'm up to?" Tony smiled. Shigure did a double take. "Well, I did say that Australian intelligence is better than you'd take it for. And I can't say I blame you, I am fully aware of how risky this is. But, on the bright side, if everything turns out well, at the very least the job of rebuilding will be subsidized."
"But, if it fails… well, I suppose we won't have long to worry about it, will we?"
"Don't be so pessimistic, Producer-san. This will be a great play, the best production of Twelfth Night that Japan has ever seen."
"Oh, so you're back to the role of Director again?"
"Naturally. And I expect I will be in this role for some time yet. We're in this together, Producer-san, so just trust me."
"I'll try," Shigure mumbled.
Skipsida's note: So… the casting begins! It's up to the reviewers to choose who does what role, so review! The roles are:
The main love plot
Viola: The star, basically. A girl cross-dressing as a boy after being shipwrecked in a foreign country. She works for
Orsino as his servant and is supposed to get Olivia to fall in love with Orsino, but falls in love with Orsino herself, which inevitably causes problems.
Sebastian: Viola's twin, who is thought to be dead in the shipwreck (and he also thinks she is dead). Wanders around causing confused for Viola and being confused himself over the whole situation.
Orsino: The Duke ruling the land of Illyria, who is in love with Olivia and won't take no for an answer. Oblivious to the fact "Cesario" is actually a girl.
Olivia: After her brother and father dies, she decides to stay away from male company. She has absolutely no interest in
Orsino, but when she sees Cesario (Viola dressed as a boy) she falls in love with him (her). And confusion reigns as soon as Sebastian enters town…
Valentino and Curio: Orsino's manservants. Minor roles
A sea captain: He saved Viola from the shipwreck and keeps her secret. A minor role.
A priest: A minor role.
Antonio: Saved Sebastian from the shipwreck and helps him in Illyria, despite being a criminal there . Acts above and beyond the call of friendship and if it weren't Shakespeare, my shounen-ai sensors would be ticking…
First officer and second officer: They come chasing after Antonio at an inconvenient moment. Minor roles.
The subplot (the gulling of Malvolio)
Malvolio: Olivia's steward, who is incredibly pompous and a notorious puritan party-pooper. Yelling at Maria, Sir Toby and Sir Andrew is the last straw, and they decide to get revenge against him…
Maria: Olivia's lady in waiting. A clever woman full of witty puns, who can't stand Malvolio. She hatches the plot to punish him.
Sir Toby Belch: Olivia's uncle, a drunkard who loves having a good time. Admires Maria greatly for her wits and her plot.
Sir Andrew Aguecheek: A rather clueless suitor of Olivia who is firmly rejected. Rather pathetic and dimwitted, but who readily goes along with the plot.
Feste: Olivia's jester, although he occasionally visits Orsino's court. Probably the only sane person in the whole play, with a rather sarcastic sense of humor. He also joins the plot.
Fabian: A member of Olivia's household, who goes along with the plot because he can't stand Malvolio.
My own ideas: Heh. Naturally I've got my own ideas for what'd be amusing, and considering how complicated the love-plot is, I think it'd be amusing to have Seishirou as the obsessive Orsino, Subaru, mourning Hokuto, as Olivia, Kamui as Viola and Fuuma as Sebastian. I mean, the two 'Kamui' don't look that alike, but enough so that it's credible. laughs Or, alternately, the coupleless casting could be Yuzuriha as Viola, Kamui as Sebastian (they do like kinda similar), Arashi as Olivia the ice-maiden and Yuuto as the playboy Duke Orsino. As for the others, well… while I'd like to see the couples stick together, I'm going for the biggest amusement factor here, as well as matching up characters by personality, not necessarily gender. Nevertheless, I'm in love with the idea of the yaoi fangirls' favourite love square thingy being translated into Twelfth Night. So… what does everyone else think? (Hint: click "review"!)
Chapter 1 – Apprehension
Shigure Yamada hated his job. No, not hated, loathed it. And he'd only had it for, what? Half an hour? In fact, the first twenty-nine and a half minutes hadn't even been that bad. Oh no, what really started causing problems was when, at precisely half-past-nine, all six Dragons of Heaven and their Kamui showed up at his office, demanding an explanation. Hell, one would have been bad enough!
"Look, it's like this," he said, to the skeptical faces in front of him, as he shut his door carefully. "There's been an exponential increase in property damage due to earthquakes and epic battles lately."
This comment certainly got a few raised eyebrows. He sat down and swiveled his chair to face the group.
"In other words, you guys aren't doing your jobs properly. So, in order to pay back some of the damage you've caused, we want you to do this charity play for us. It's nothing major."
Kamui's eyes flashed and when he spoke, his voice was filled with fury. "So saving the world isn't enough now, is it?"
"Well," Shigure shuffled, and it was only due to the fact that he was a dedicated public servant that he continued, "you could do it more tidily…"
Kamui's hand slammed down on Shigure's desk, scattering papers everywhere. "Why you…!"
Sorata tried to hold him back. "Kamui, calm down!"
Shigure just gave Kamui a long-suffering glance. "Look, I think it's a stupid idea too, but I'm not the one in charge here, I'm only the producer. I organize funding for this and distribute the proceeds. You have problems with it, tough, I'm not the person to yell at."
"Just how did this idea come about?" asked Karen, as Kamui grudgingly returned to his seat. She leaned over towards Shigure alluringly, hoping to for some interesting morsel of information to slip.
He gulped at tried to keep his eyes on her face. "I…I don't know!"
"Funny that the government would know about all this too…" Seiichirou added, cheerfully, "since I don't remember putting "Dragon of Heaven" as my profession for the census last year."
Shigure fiddled with his tie, and tried not to flush. "Come on, you've been attempting to hold off the apocalypse in the city, you can't expect people not to notice these things."
Sorata, who had been about to say something, paused and held up a finger. "He's got a point, y'know."
Everyone shuffled uncomfortably. "Well…"
"So that's settled then, here are your scripts," Shigure said, seizing the moment and shoving a thick pile of books into the hands of Subaru, who happened to be sitting closest.
"But…" Yuzuriha started.
Shigure ignored her. "Show up at ten tomorrow for auditions. Now I'll have to say good-bye because I've got an appointment in five minutes."
And with that, much to their confusion, the group found themselves in the hallway, facing a closed door.
"But… we didn't even agree to anything…" Yuzuriha trailed off and sighed.
It was a rather more dejected group that exited the building. So much so that they didn't even notice the other crowd storming in past them. Luckily the newcomers seemed to too furious to realize the significance of the other group leaving, and instead stormed through the corridors like a force 10 cyclone.
As they smashed down Shigure's doors, he sighed and checked his watch. Yep, right on time. "Melodramatic, I'll give you that, but you'd better pay for that door," he said, by way of greeting. "Now, you have something to say for yourselves?"
There was a pause.
Then, Fuuma, the only one apart from Seishirou still capable of saying anything but incoherent ranting, spoke up, with a smirk. "You mentioned Kamui in pantaloons, I believe?"
"So what's the play about again?" Yuuto asked, with a cheerful smile. "I can't say I'm exactly an expert on English literature."
"Viola, this girl with a brother complex gets shipwrecked in a strange land and decides to cross-dress as her brother, who she thinks is dead, and help this obsessive stalker Count Orsino get together with the woman he loves," Satsuki recited in a bored monotone.
"I wouldn't have thought you'd be into human literature," Kanoe said, looking surprised.
"When I'm bored I read the internet," Satsuki replied. "Or at least, that tiny fraction of it which isn't porn. May I continue?"
"By all means."
"The woman, Olivia, who, incidentally, not only has a brother complex but a father one, and after their deaths decided to stay away from men, probably because she brought them bad luck or something. Naturally Viola falls in love with Orsino and Olivia falls with in love with Viola, who she thinks is a boy, and general chaos ensues, not helped by the fact that Viola's brother, Sebastian, the one who should be dead, isn't, and wanders around confusing everyone. In the end, Olivia and Orsino get one twin each and live happily ever after."
Seishirou snorted, with an amused glint in his eye. "Only one twin? Why not both? Now there's a man with no aspirations."
"The idiot should have stuck with Olivia, if she's that popular she'd have to be a babe," Yuuto disagreed. Satsuki started looking a little irritated, and Yuuto, who noticed this, instantly shut up.
Fuuma stretched out and yawned. "You're both wrong. If Orsino was a Count it would be within his power to lock them all up in his dungeon and that way he gets the twins and Olivia at the same time."
"There is more!" Satsuki steered the conversation back on topic. "There's also a sub-plot about the servants, with Maria, Olivia's maid, Sir Toby, Olivia's uncle and Sir Andrew, another doting suitor, plotting together with Feste the Fool to humiliate this other servant, Malvolio who is incredibly up himself and has a thing for Olivia as well. Essentially, there's two stories going on at the same time."
"A story within a story," Kakyou said, dreamily.
"Go back to sleep, Kakyou," Fuuma said, kindly. Kakyou obliged.
"So… we're supposed to star in that?" Kusanagi asked, breaking his usual silence.
"Oh, so you're talking to us now?" Seishirou smiled, like a crocodile.
"Looks like it," Yuuto said, hurridly, before a fight started.
"Isn't there any way we can get out of it?" Satsuki asked, plaintively.
All eyes turned to Kanoe, who shrugged, then to Kakyou.
Kakyou rolled his eyes. "There is only one future." The background changed from that of a sunny ice-cream parlor to that of the Dust Bowl at the End of the World and the other six Angels groaned simultaneously, knowing what was coming. "For the Promised Day will-"
"Get to the point," Seishirou interrupted, "some of us have jobs to go to after this."
The other Angels took a not-so-subtle step back at this, but Kakyou just sighed and said, "Yes, there's no way we can weasel out of this one-"
"Thank you, that's all we needed to know."
"But if it's any comfort to you, the Seven Seals also have some involvement in this. No doubt you'll come up with many small and large ways to make their lives more unpleasant than they already are while they huddle together in a corner and angst."
"What?! You mean they're involved in this too? But I heard nothing of this from Hinoto!" Kanoe was shocked.
"Then it appears that this even took Hinoto by surprise," Kakyou said, calmly. "Because, sure as eggs are pineapples, I didn't see this coming."
"Sure as eggs are pineapples?" Fuuma raised an eyebrow.
Kakyou scowled. "Look, I didn't come up with it, you try being a random observer to dreams and see how you are affected? I know I've got issues, but my psychologist says I'm making progress, and it's just part of what makes me a unique individual."
There was a pause.
"What's a psychologist?" asked Nataku, who had been making sand-castles in the background.
The dreamscape faded and they found themselves back in the ice-cream parlor.
"Well!" Kusanagi said, which summed it up rather nicely.
There was a further pause before Yuuto asked Kanoe, "You mean someone actually took it seriously when you suggested we all had counseling?"
"He's a dreamseer too," Kanoe pointed out. "After seeing what the Seals are like, he got quite scared and decided to have all his psychological problems sorted out before the Promised Day."
"That sounds rather unlikely," Fuuma replied, "considering his Wish is for me to kill him, so it's not like he'll enjoy the results very long."
"Okay, so I really withheld the hallucinogens from his drip. How else do you think he gets all those visions? But seriously, I truly think you should all give counseling a try."
"You've changed," observed Satsuki, "normally you don't care how homicidal, sadistic or otherwise warped we are."
Kanoe shuffled. "At work we all involuntarily went psychological assessment. I've now got an appointment with Dr Yashimoto twice a week." Her eyes glinted dangerously. "And if I go down, I'm taking you with me, you hear? Label me an exhibitionist nymphomaniac schizophrenic, will they?!"
"You forgot voyeuristic," Kakyou mumbled.
There was silence for a few seconds after the slap, and the Angels quickly resumed eating their icecream to avoid having to find something to say.
Seishirou finished his popsicle first.
"No stamina," Fuuma commented, with a grin, licking his own, which was barely started.
"No rest for the wicked," Seishirou replied, smiling, "I've got work to do."
"Don't forget your script," Nataku said, brightly, handing him the thick wad of paper.
Seishirou gave him an indulgent smile. "Thank you." He turned towards Fuuma, who was deep-throating his popsicle, smirking, and said, "Shame on you, doing such things in front of children."
"Like you can talk," Fuuma countered. He removed the stick from his mouth, swallowing the entire icecream in one go, and licked his lips.
Seishirou whistled, appreciatively. "Nice party trick."
Fuuma smirked. "Like me to demonstrate it for you sometime?"
"Demonstrate what, Daddy?" Nataku asked, looking up curiously.
"You don't want to know," Yuuto replied, turning as green as his choc-mint cone.
Seishirou chuckled, "The difference between you and I, 'Kamui', is that I have class. And also that if I attempt to pollute young children's minds I do it properly and explain what certain 'things' mean. It's so much more fun to embarrass
them that way."
Nataku was looking up at 'Daddy' and Seishirou in confusion at this point, then gave up and ate his icecream, wearing half of it in the process.
"Well, I'll be off. Goodbye all."
And with that, the meeting rapidly broke up, as the various Angels returned to their lives.
"Does anyone know what we're actually going to be auditioning as?" Kamui scowled to the rest of the Seals, who were slumped around a makeshift headquarters at CLAMP campus.
"Well, I presume as characters in the play, but if you mean which characters, I'm not sure," Karen replied, thumbing through her copy of the play, humming cheerfully as she did so. "I never imagined I'd break into the acting industry in this way!"
"Which way did you think you would?" asked Yuzuriha, her face radiating confused innocence.
Karen winked. "I'll leave it to your imagination."
Kamui, Seiichiro and Sorata blushed slightly, much to Karen's amusement, while Yuzuriha just looked even more confused. Subaru and Arashi were looking distinctly bored by the conversation already.
"Well, I guess it's fair to assume that they aren't expecting us to memorize the entire play overnight," Arashi decided, "because I doubt that's humanly possible. So maybe we've just got to read it through then show up talking about our character preferences."
There was a pause as everyone read through the brief synopsis at the beginning of the play, which summarized the various characters.
"Nee-chan, it's clear that you'd make a terrific Olivia, while I definitely want to play Orsino," Sorata announced.
"Orsino? Isn't he Olivia's obsessive stalker?" Yuzuriha said, brightly.
Sorata gave an embarrassed laugh, as the other Seals all laughed, and even Arashi and Subaru managed smiles. "Yes, well," he said, "I can sympathize with him completely. She doesn't talk to him, want to see him, it's enough to break his poor heart. She's lucky she has such a caring, determined man after her, other people would have already given up."
Arashi gave him the sort of startled look that suggested this had never occurred to her, then pursed her lips and declined commenting.
"Do you think that the casting will be determined by gender, age and appearance or by personality?" Seiichiro asked, skimming his way through the text.
No one had an answer to this.
Subaru shrugged. "I suppose it'll be up to the director. He or she is the one in charge of this, so I assume we won't really get much of a say. That's how it usually is in most jobs, isn't it? This just happens to be one of the more interesting jobs I'll have to put on my resume."
"You have a resume?" Karen asked, interested. "Do you put your profession as an Omyouji on it?"
"Well, it's my only real job qualification," Subaru pointed out, "considering I never finished high school and never have worked elsewhere, and thus have no references." He paused, considering the truth of this fact. Actually, he did have a reference, he'd done work experience at Seishirou's surgery, in the days when Seishirou had still been a vet. Somehow, he didn't think that having the Sakurazukamori on his resume would impress anyone. Terrify, perhaps, as it would the imply the threat of being assassinated if Subaru wasn't given a job (never reject the Sakurazukamori's squeeze toy if you value your life), but it hardly was impressive to anyone out of the arcane industry.
"I really hope that the charity concert covers the damage costs," Seiichiro sighed, "because I'd really have to take out a loan at this stage in my career, I don't know what my wife would think."
"I wouldn't worry about it," Sorata replied, "because there's always the 50 chance that the world will be destroyed on the promised day." He was shot a Death Glare™ by Kamui and quickly laughed and said, "Only joking, Kamui, only joking."
"Thanks for the vote of confidence," Kamui muttered, angrily.
"But what will we do if we have to pay the rest of the rebuilding costs?" Yuzuriha asked. "Does that mean…" her eyes lit up, "we could all get part-time jobs!"
With this, an apprehensive mood fell over the table at the prospect of this bizarre bunch trying to find decent employment.
"Tony-san," the Other complained, "they broke my office door. I hope your government is planning to pay for that."
"Naturally, Yamada-san," Tony replied, smoothly, "anything for our Japanese friends."
"That sounds vaguely ominous," Shigure commented.
"Oh, does it? I'm sorry."
"What does your government plan to do though, having assembled the various Dragons?"
"If we cannot avert the potentially apocalypse-causing battle, at least tip the balance so that humanity lives to breathe another day. You probably wouldn't be surprised to know that we've got an entire Bureau devoted to it. At the moment, we've got agents in the Otori academy, investigating 'World's End', not to mention people investigating several other incidents across the world. In other words, the same line of work as you.."
"True," Shigure, conceded, "although my role is more that of a lowly bureaucrat, just gathering information."
"In other words, you're a spy keeping an eye on what I'm up to?" Tony smiled. Shigure did a double take. "Well, I did say that Australian intelligence is better than you'd take it for. And I can't say I blame you, I am fully aware of how risky this is. But, on the bright side, if everything turns out well, at the very least the job of rebuilding will be subsidized."
"But, if it fails… well, I suppose we won't have long to worry about it, will we?"
"Don't be so pessimistic, Producer-san. This will be a great play, the best production of Twelfth Night that Japan has ever seen."
"Oh, so you're back to the role of Director again?"
"Naturally. And I expect I will be in this role for some time yet. We're in this together, Producer-san, so just trust me."
"I'll try," Shigure mumbled.
Skipsida's note: So… the casting begins! It's up to the reviewers to choose who does what role, so review! The roles are:
The main love plot
Viola: The star, basically. A girl cross-dressing as a boy after being shipwrecked in a foreign country. She works for
Orsino as his servant and is supposed to get Olivia to fall in love with Orsino, but falls in love with Orsino herself, which inevitably causes problems.
Sebastian: Viola's twin, who is thought to be dead in the shipwreck (and he also thinks she is dead). Wanders around causing confused for Viola and being confused himself over the whole situation.
Orsino: The Duke ruling the land of Illyria, who is in love with Olivia and won't take no for an answer. Oblivious to the fact "Cesario" is actually a girl.
Olivia: After her brother and father dies, she decides to stay away from male company. She has absolutely no interest in
Orsino, but when she sees Cesario (Viola dressed as a boy) she falls in love with him (her). And confusion reigns as soon as Sebastian enters town…
Valentino and Curio: Orsino's manservants. Minor roles
A sea captain: He saved Viola from the shipwreck and keeps her secret. A minor role.
A priest: A minor role.
Antonio: Saved Sebastian from the shipwreck and helps him in Illyria, despite being a criminal there . Acts above and beyond the call of friendship and if it weren't Shakespeare, my shounen-ai sensors would be ticking…
First officer and second officer: They come chasing after Antonio at an inconvenient moment. Minor roles.
The subplot (the gulling of Malvolio)
Malvolio: Olivia's steward, who is incredibly pompous and a notorious puritan party-pooper. Yelling at Maria, Sir Toby and Sir Andrew is the last straw, and they decide to get revenge against him…
Maria: Olivia's lady in waiting. A clever woman full of witty puns, who can't stand Malvolio. She hatches the plot to punish him.
Sir Toby Belch: Olivia's uncle, a drunkard who loves having a good time. Admires Maria greatly for her wits and her plot.
Sir Andrew Aguecheek: A rather clueless suitor of Olivia who is firmly rejected. Rather pathetic and dimwitted, but who readily goes along with the plot.
Feste: Olivia's jester, although he occasionally visits Orsino's court. Probably the only sane person in the whole play, with a rather sarcastic sense of humor. He also joins the plot.
Fabian: A member of Olivia's household, who goes along with the plot because he can't stand Malvolio.
My own ideas: Heh. Naturally I've got my own ideas for what'd be amusing, and considering how complicated the love-plot is, I think it'd be amusing to have Seishirou as the obsessive Orsino, Subaru, mourning Hokuto, as Olivia, Kamui as Viola and Fuuma as Sebastian. I mean, the two 'Kamui' don't look that alike, but enough so that it's credible. laughs Or, alternately, the coupleless casting could be Yuzuriha as Viola, Kamui as Sebastian (they do like kinda similar), Arashi as Olivia the ice-maiden and Yuuto as the playboy Duke Orsino. As for the others, well… while I'd like to see the couples stick together, I'm going for the biggest amusement factor here, as well as matching up characters by personality, not necessarily gender. Nevertheless, I'm in love with the idea of the yaoi fangirls' favourite love square thingy being translated into Twelfth Night. So… what does everyone else think? (Hint: click "review"!)
Shigure Yamada hated his job. No, not hated, loathed it. And he'd only had it for, what? Half an hour? In fact, the first twenty-nine and a half minutes hadn't even been that bad. Oh no, what really started causing problems was when, at precisely half-past-nine, all six Dragons of Heaven and their Kamui showed up at his office, demanding an explanation. Hell, one would have been bad enough!
"Look, it's like this," he said, to the skeptical faces in front of him, as he shut his door carefully. "There's been an exponential increase in property damage due to earthquakes and epic battles lately."
This comment certainly got a few raised eyebrows. He sat down and swiveled his chair to face the group.
"In other words, you guys aren't doing your jobs properly. So, in order to pay back some of the damage you've caused, we want you to do this charity play for us. It's nothing major."
Kamui's eyes flashed and when he spoke, his voice was filled with fury. "So saving the world isn't enough now, is it?"
"Well," Shigure shuffled, and it was only due to the fact that he was a dedicated public servant that he continued, "you could do it more tidily…"
Kamui's hand slammed down on Shigure's desk, scattering papers everywhere. "Why you…!"
Sorata tried to hold him back. "Kamui, calm down!"
Shigure just gave Kamui a long-suffering glance. "Look, I think it's a stupid idea too, but I'm not the one in charge here, I'm only the producer. I organize funding for this and distribute the proceeds. You have problems with it, tough, I'm not the person to yell at."
"Just how did this idea come about?" asked Karen, as Kamui grudgingly returned to his seat. She leaned over towards Shigure alluringly, hoping to for some interesting morsel of information to slip.
He gulped at tried to keep his eyes on her face. "I…I don't know!"
"Funny that the government would know about all this too…" Seiichirou added, cheerfully, "since I don't remember putting "Dragon of Heaven" as my profession for the census last year."
Shigure fiddled with his tie, and tried not to flush. "Come on, you've been attempting to hold off the apocalypse in the city, you can't expect people not to notice these things."
Sorata, who had been about to say something, paused and held up a finger. "He's got a point, y'know."
Everyone shuffled uncomfortably. "Well…"
"So that's settled then, here are your scripts," Shigure said, seizing the moment and shoving a thick pile of books into the hands of Subaru, who happened to be sitting closest.
"But…" Yuzuriha started.
Shigure ignored her. "Show up at ten tomorrow for auditions. Now I'll have to say good-bye because I've got an appointment in five minutes."
And with that, much to their confusion, the group found themselves in the hallway, facing a closed door.
"But… we didn't even agree to anything…" Yuzuriha trailed off and sighed.
It was a rather more dejected group that exited the building. So much so that they didn't even notice the other crowd storming in past them. Luckily the newcomers seemed to too furious to realize the significance of the other group leaving, and instead stormed through the corridors like a force 10 cyclone.
As they smashed down Shigure's doors, he sighed and checked his watch. Yep, right on time. "Melodramatic, I'll give you that, but you'd better pay for that door," he said, by way of greeting. "Now, you have something to say for yourselves?"
There was a pause.
Then, Fuuma, the only one apart from Seishirou still capable of saying anything but incoherent ranting, spoke up, with a smirk. "You mentioned Kamui in pantaloons, I believe?"
"So what's the play about again?" Yuuto asked, with a cheerful smile. "I can't say I'm exactly an expert on English literature."
"Viola, this girl with a brother complex gets shipwrecked in a strange land and decides to cross-dress as her brother, who she thinks is dead, and help this obsessive stalker Count Orsino get together with the woman he loves," Satsuki recited in a bored monotone.
"I wouldn't have thought you'd be into human literature," Kanoe said, looking surprised.
"When I'm bored I read the internet," Satsuki replied. "Or at least, that tiny fraction of it which isn't porn. May I continue?"
"By all means."
"The woman, Olivia, who, incidentally, not only has a brother complex but a father one, and after their deaths decided to stay away from men, probably because she brought them bad luck or something. Naturally Viola falls in love with Orsino and Olivia falls with in love with Viola, who she thinks is a boy, and general chaos ensues, not helped by the fact that Viola's brother, Sebastian, the one who should be dead, isn't, and wanders around confusing everyone. In the end, Olivia and Orsino get one twin each and live happily ever after."
Seishirou snorted, with an amused glint in his eye. "Only one twin? Why not both? Now there's a man with no aspirations."
"The idiot should have stuck with Olivia, if she's that popular she'd have to be a babe," Yuuto disagreed. Satsuki started looking a little irritated, and Yuuto, who noticed this, instantly shut up.
Fuuma stretched out and yawned. "You're both wrong. If Orsino was a Count it would be within his power to lock them all up in his dungeon and that way he gets the twins and Olivia at the same time."
"There is more!" Satsuki steered the conversation back on topic. "There's also a sub-plot about the servants, with Maria, Olivia's maid, Sir Toby, Olivia's uncle and Sir Andrew, another doting suitor, plotting together with Feste the Fool to humiliate this other servant, Malvolio who is incredibly up himself and has a thing for Olivia as well. Essentially, there's two stories going on at the same time."
"A story within a story," Kakyou said, dreamily.
"Go back to sleep, Kakyou," Fuuma said, kindly. Kakyou obliged.
"So… we're supposed to star in that?" Kusanagi asked, breaking his usual silence.
"Oh, so you're talking to us now?" Seishirou smiled, like a crocodile.
"Looks like it," Yuuto said, hurridly, before a fight started.
"Isn't there any way we can get out of it?" Satsuki asked, plaintively.
All eyes turned to Kanoe, who shrugged, then to Kakyou.
Kakyou rolled his eyes. "There is only one future." The background changed from that of a sunny ice-cream parlor to that of the Dust Bowl at the End of the World and the other six Angels groaned simultaneously, knowing what was coming. "For the Promised Day will-"
"Get to the point," Seishirou interrupted, "some of us have jobs to go to after this."
The other Angels took a not-so-subtle step back at this, but Kakyou just sighed and said, "Yes, there's no way we can weasel out of this one-"
"Thank you, that's all we needed to know."
"But if it's any comfort to you, the Seven Seals also have some involvement in this. No doubt you'll come up with many small and large ways to make their lives more unpleasant than they already are while they huddle together in a corner and angst."
"What?! You mean they're involved in this too? But I heard nothing of this from Hinoto!" Kanoe was shocked.
"Then it appears that this even took Hinoto by surprise," Kakyou said, calmly. "Because, sure as eggs are pineapples, I didn't see this coming."
"Sure as eggs are pineapples?" Fuuma raised an eyebrow.
Kakyou scowled. "Look, I didn't come up with it, you try being a random observer to dreams and see how you are affected? I know I've got issues, but my psychologist says I'm making progress, and it's just part of what makes me a unique individual."
There was a pause.
"What's a psychologist?" asked Nataku, who had been making sand-castles in the background.
The dreamscape faded and they found themselves back in the ice-cream parlor.
"Well!" Kusanagi said, which summed it up rather nicely.
There was a further pause before Yuuto asked Kanoe, "You mean someone actually took it seriously when you suggested we all had counseling?"
"He's a dreamseer too," Kanoe pointed out. "After seeing what the Seals are like, he got quite scared and decided to have all his psychological problems sorted out before the Promised Day."
"That sounds rather unlikely," Fuuma replied, "considering his Wish is for me to kill him, so it's not like he'll enjoy the results very long."
"Okay, so I really withheld the hallucinogens from his drip. How else do you think he gets all those visions? But seriously, I truly think you should all give counseling a try."
"You've changed," observed Satsuki, "normally you don't care how homicidal, sadistic or otherwise warped we are."
Kanoe shuffled. "At work we all involuntarily went psychological assessment. I've now got an appointment with Dr Yashimoto twice a week." Her eyes glinted dangerously. "And if I go down, I'm taking you with me, you hear? Label me an exhibitionist nymphomaniac schizophrenic, will they?!"
"You forgot voyeuristic," Kakyou mumbled.
There was silence for a few seconds after the slap, and the Angels quickly resumed eating their icecream to avoid having to find something to say.
Seishirou finished his popsicle first.
"No stamina," Fuuma commented, with a grin, licking his own, which was barely started.
"No rest for the wicked," Seishirou replied, smiling, "I've got work to do."
"Don't forget your script," Nataku said, brightly, handing him the thick wad of paper.
Seishirou gave him an indulgent smile. "Thank you." He turned towards Fuuma, who was deep-throating his popsicle, smirking, and said, "Shame on you, doing such things in front of children."
"Like you can talk," Fuuma countered. He removed the stick from his mouth, swallowing the entire icecream in one go, and licked his lips.
Seishirou whistled, appreciatively. "Nice party trick."
Fuuma smirked. "Like me to demonstrate it for you sometime?"
"Demonstrate what, Daddy?" Nataku asked, looking up curiously.
"You don't want to know," Yuuto replied, turning as green as his choc-mint cone.
Seishirou chuckled, "The difference between you and I, 'Kamui', is that I have class. And also that if I attempt to pollute young children's minds I do it properly and explain what certain 'things' mean. It's so much more fun to embarrass
them that way."
Nataku was looking up at 'Daddy' and Seishirou in confusion at this point, then gave up and ate his icecream, wearing half of it in the process.
"Well, I'll be off. Goodbye all."
And with that, the meeting rapidly broke up, as the various Angels returned to their lives.
"Does anyone know what we're actually going to be auditioning as?" Kamui scowled to the rest of the Seals, who were slumped around a makeshift headquarters at CLAMP campus.
"Well, I presume as characters in the play, but if you mean which characters, I'm not sure," Karen replied, thumbing through her copy of the play, humming cheerfully as she did so. "I never imagined I'd break into the acting industry in this way!"
"Which way did you think you would?" asked Yuzuriha, her face radiating confused innocence.
Karen winked. "I'll leave it to your imagination."
Kamui, Seiichiro and Sorata blushed slightly, much to Karen's amusement, while Yuzuriha just looked even more confused. Subaru and Arashi were looking distinctly bored by the conversation already.
"Well, I guess it's fair to assume that they aren't expecting us to memorize the entire play overnight," Arashi decided, "because I doubt that's humanly possible. So maybe we've just got to read it through then show up talking about our character preferences."
There was a pause as everyone read through the brief synopsis at the beginning of the play, which summarized the various characters.
"Nee-chan, it's clear that you'd make a terrific Olivia, while I definitely want to play Orsino," Sorata announced.
"Orsino? Isn't he Olivia's obsessive stalker?" Yuzuriha said, brightly.
Sorata gave an embarrassed laugh, as the other Seals all laughed, and even Arashi and Subaru managed smiles. "Yes, well," he said, "I can sympathize with him completely. She doesn't talk to him, want to see him, it's enough to break his poor heart. She's lucky she has such a caring, determined man after her, other people would have already given up."
Arashi gave him the sort of startled look that suggested this had never occurred to her, then pursed her lips and declined commenting.
"Do you think that the casting will be determined by gender, age and appearance or by personality?" Seiichiro asked, skimming his way through the text.
No one had an answer to this.
Subaru shrugged. "I suppose it'll be up to the director. He or she is the one in charge of this, so I assume we won't really get much of a say. That's how it usually is in most jobs, isn't it? This just happens to be one of the more interesting jobs I'll have to put on my resume."
"You have a resume?" Karen asked, interested. "Do you put your profession as an Omyouji on it?"
"Well, it's my only real job qualification," Subaru pointed out, "considering I never finished high school and never have worked elsewhere, and thus have no references." He paused, considering the truth of this fact. Actually, he did have a reference, he'd done work experience at Seishirou's surgery, in the days when Seishirou had still been a vet. Somehow, he didn't think that having the Sakurazukamori on his resume would impress anyone. Terrify, perhaps, as it would the imply the threat of being assassinated if Subaru wasn't given a job (never reject the Sakurazukamori's squeeze toy if you value your life), but it hardly was impressive to anyone out of the arcane industry.
"I really hope that the charity concert covers the damage costs," Seiichiro sighed, "because I'd really have to take out a loan at this stage in my career, I don't know what my wife would think."
"I wouldn't worry about it," Sorata replied, "because there's always the 50 chance that the world will be destroyed on the promised day." He was shot a Death Glare™ by Kamui and quickly laughed and said, "Only joking, Kamui, only joking."
"Thanks for the vote of confidence," Kamui muttered, angrily.
"But what will we do if we have to pay the rest of the rebuilding costs?" Yuzuriha asked. "Does that mean…" her eyes lit up, "we could all get part-time jobs!"
With this, an apprehensive mood fell over the table at the prospect of this bizarre bunch trying to find decent employment.
"Tony-san," the Other complained, "they broke my office door. I hope your government is planning to pay for that."
"Naturally, Yamada-san," Tony replied, smoothly, "anything for our Japanese friends."
"That sounds vaguely ominous," Shigure commented.
"Oh, does it? I'm sorry."
"What does your government plan to do though, having assembled the various Dragons?"
"If we cannot avert the potentially apocalypse-causing battle, at least tip the balance so that humanity lives to breathe another day. You probably wouldn't be surprised to know that we've got an entire Bureau devoted to it. At the moment, we've got agents in the Otori academy, investigating 'World's End', not to mention people investigating several other incidents across the world. In other words, the same line of work as you.."
"True," Shigure, conceded, "although my role is more that of a lowly bureaucrat, just gathering information."
"In other words, you're a spy keeping an eye on what I'm up to?" Tony smiled. Shigure did a double take. "Well, I did say that Australian intelligence is better than you'd take it for. And I can't say I blame you, I am fully aware of how risky this is. But, on the bright side, if everything turns out well, at the very least the job of rebuilding will be subsidized."
"But, if it fails… well, I suppose we won't have long to worry about it, will we?"
"Don't be so pessimistic, Producer-san. This will be a great play, the best production of Twelfth Night that Japan has ever seen."
"Oh, so you're back to the role of Director again?"
"Naturally. And I expect I will be in this role for some time yet. We're in this together, Producer-san, so just trust me."
"I'll try," Shigure mumbled.
Skipsida's note: So… the casting begins! It's up to the reviewers to choose who does what role, so review! The roles are:
The main love plot
Viola: The star, basically. A girl cross-dressing as a boy after being shipwrecked in a foreign country. She works for
Orsino as his servant and is supposed to get Olivia to fall in love with Orsino, but falls in love with Orsino herself, which inevitably causes problems.
Sebastian: Viola's twin, who is thought to be dead in the shipwreck (and he also thinks she is dead). Wanders around causing confused for Viola and being confused himself over the whole situation.
Orsino: The Duke ruling the land of Illyria, who is in love with Olivia and won't take no for an answer. Oblivious to the fact "Cesario" is actually a girl.
Olivia: After her brother and father dies, she decides to stay away from male company. She has absolutely no interest in
Orsino, but when she sees Cesario (Viola dressed as a boy) she falls in love with him (her). And confusion reigns as soon as Sebastian enters town…
Valentino and Curio: Orsino's manservants. Minor roles
A sea captain: He saved Viola from the shipwreck and keeps her secret. A minor role.
A priest: A minor role.
Antonio: Saved Sebastian from the shipwreck and helps him in Illyria, despite being a criminal there . Acts above and beyond the call of friendship and if it weren't Shakespeare, my shounen-ai sensors would be ticking…
First officer and second officer: They come chasing after Antonio at an inconvenient moment. Minor roles.
The subplot (the gulling of Malvolio)
Malvolio: Olivia's steward, who is incredibly pompous and a notorious puritan party-pooper. Yelling at Maria, Sir Toby and Sir Andrew is the last straw, and they decide to get revenge against him…
Maria: Olivia's lady in waiting. A clever woman full of witty puns, who can't stand Malvolio. She hatches the plot to punish him.
Sir Toby Belch: Olivia's uncle, a drunkard who loves having a good time. Admires Maria greatly for her wits and her plot.
Sir Andrew Aguecheek: A rather clueless suitor of Olivia who is firmly rejected. Rather pathetic and dimwitted, but who readily goes along with the plot.
Feste: Olivia's jester, although he occasionally visits Orsino's court. Probably the only sane person in the whole play, with a rather sarcastic sense of humor. He also joins the plot.
Fabian: A member of Olivia's household, who goes along with the plot because he can't stand Malvolio.
My own ideas: Heh. Naturally I've got my own ideas for what'd be amusing, and considering how complicated the love-plot is, I think it'd be amusing to have Seishirou as the obsessive Orsino, Subaru, mourning Hokuto, as Olivia, Kamui as Viola and Fuuma as Sebastian. I mean, the two 'Kamui' don't look that alike, but enough so that it's credible. laughs Or, alternately, the coupleless casting could be Yuzuriha as Viola, Kamui as Sebastian (they do like kinda similar), Arashi as Olivia the ice-maiden and Yuuto as the playboy Duke Orsino. As for the others, well… while I'd like to see the couples stick together, I'm going for the biggest amusement factor here, as well as matching up characters by personality, not necessarily gender. Nevertheless, I'm in love with the idea of the yaoi fangirls' favourite love square thingy being translated into Twelfth Night. So… what does everyone else think? (Hint: click "review"!)
Chapter 1 – Apprehension
Shigure Yamada hated his job. No, not hated, loathed it. And he'd only had it for, what? Half an hour? In fact, the first twenty-nine and a half minutes hadn't even been that bad. Oh no, what really started causing problems was when, at precisely half-past-nine, all six Dragons of Heaven and their Kamui showed up at his office, demanding an explanation. Hell, one would have been bad enough!
"Look, it's like this," he said, to the skeptical faces in front of him, as he shut his door carefully. "There's been an exponential increase in property damage due to earthquakes and epic battles lately."
This comment certainly got a few raised eyebrows. He sat down and swiveled his chair to face the group.
"In other words, you guys aren't doing your jobs properly. So, in order to pay back some of the damage you've caused, we want you to do this charity play for us. It's nothing major."
Kamui's eyes flashed and when he spoke, his voice was filled with fury. "So saving the world isn't enough now, is it?"
"Well," Shigure shuffled, and it was only due to the fact that he was a dedicated public servant that he continued, "you could do it more tidily…"
Kamui's hand slammed down on Shigure's desk, scattering papers everywhere. "Why you…!"
Sorata tried to hold him back. "Kamui, calm down!"
Shigure just gave Kamui a long-suffering glance. "Look, I think it's a stupid idea too, but I'm not the one in charge here, I'm only the producer. I organize funding for this and distribute the proceeds. You have problems with it, tough, I'm not the person to yell at."
"Just how did this idea come about?" asked Karen, as Kamui grudgingly returned to his seat. She leaned over towards Shigure alluringly, hoping to for some interesting morsel of information to slip.
He gulped at tried to keep his eyes on her face. "I…I don't know!"
"Funny that the government would know about all this too…" Seiichirou added, cheerfully, "since I don't remember putting "Dragon of Heaven" as my profession for the census last year."
Shigure fiddled with his tie, and tried not to flush. "Come on, you've been attempting to hold off the apocalypse in the city, you can't expect people not to notice these things."
Sorata, who had been about to say something, paused and held up a finger. "He's got a point, y'know."
Everyone shuffled uncomfortably. "Well…"
"So that's settled then, here are your scripts," Shigure said, seizing the moment and shoving a thick pile of books into the hands of Subaru, who happened to be sitting closest.
"But…" Yuzuriha started.
Shigure ignored her. "Show up at ten tomorrow for auditions. Now I'll have to say good-bye because I've got an appointment in five minutes."
And with that, much to their confusion, the group found themselves in the hallway, facing a closed door.
"But… we didn't even agree to anything…" Yuzuriha trailed off and sighed.
It was a rather more dejected group that exited the building. So much so that they didn't even notice the other crowd storming in past them. Luckily the newcomers seemed to too furious to realize the significance of the other group leaving, and instead stormed through the corridors like a force 10 cyclone.
As they smashed down Shigure's doors, he sighed and checked his watch. Yep, right on time. "Melodramatic, I'll give you that, but you'd better pay for that door," he said, by way of greeting. "Now, you have something to say for yourselves?"
There was a pause.
Then, Fuuma, the only one apart from Seishirou still capable of saying anything but incoherent ranting, spoke up, with a smirk. "You mentioned Kamui in pantaloons, I believe?"
"So what's the play about again?" Yuuto asked, with a cheerful smile. "I can't say I'm exactly an expert on English literature."
"Viola, this girl with a brother complex gets shipwrecked in a strange land and decides to cross-dress as her brother, who she thinks is dead, and help this obsessive stalker Count Orsino get together with the woman he loves," Satsuki recited in a bored monotone.
"I wouldn't have thought you'd be into human literature," Kanoe said, looking surprised.
"When I'm bored I read the internet," Satsuki replied. "Or at least, that tiny fraction of it which isn't porn. May I continue?"
"By all means."
"The woman, Olivia, who, incidentally, not only has a brother complex but a father one, and after their deaths decided to stay away from men, probably because she brought them bad luck or something. Naturally Viola falls in love with Orsino and Olivia falls with in love with Viola, who she thinks is a boy, and general chaos ensues, not helped by the fact that Viola's brother, Sebastian, the one who should be dead, isn't, and wanders around confusing everyone. In the end, Olivia and Orsino get one twin each and live happily ever after."
Seishirou snorted, with an amused glint in his eye. "Only one twin? Why not both? Now there's a man with no aspirations."
"The idiot should have stuck with Olivia, if she's that popular she'd have to be a babe," Yuuto disagreed. Satsuki started looking a little irritated, and Yuuto, who noticed this, instantly shut up.
Fuuma stretched out and yawned. "You're both wrong. If Orsino was a Count it would be within his power to lock them all up in his dungeon and that way he gets the twins and Olivia at the same time."
"There is more!" Satsuki steered the conversation back on topic. "There's also a sub-plot about the servants, with Maria, Olivia's maid, Sir Toby, Olivia's uncle and Sir Andrew, another doting suitor, plotting together with Feste the Fool to humiliate this other servant, Malvolio who is incredibly up himself and has a thing for Olivia as well. Essentially, there's two stories going on at the same time."
"A story within a story," Kakyou said, dreamily.
"Go back to sleep, Kakyou," Fuuma said, kindly. Kakyou obliged.
"So… we're supposed to star in that?" Kusanagi asked, breaking his usual silence.
"Oh, so you're talking to us now?" Seishirou smiled, like a crocodile.
"Looks like it," Yuuto said, hurridly, before a fight started.
"Isn't there any way we can get out of it?" Satsuki asked, plaintively.
All eyes turned to Kanoe, who shrugged, then to Kakyou.
Kakyou rolled his eyes. "There is only one future." The background changed from that of a sunny ice-cream parlor to that of the Dust Bowl at the End of the World and the other six Angels groaned simultaneously, knowing what was coming. "For the Promised Day will-"
"Get to the point," Seishirou interrupted, "some of us have jobs to go to after this."
The other Angels took a not-so-subtle step back at this, but Kakyou just sighed and said, "Yes, there's no way we can weasel out of this one-"
"Thank you, that's all we needed to know."
"But if it's any comfort to you, the Seven Seals also have some involvement in this. No doubt you'll come up with many small and large ways to make their lives more unpleasant than they already are while they huddle together in a corner and angst."
"What?! You mean they're involved in this too? But I heard nothing of this from Hinoto!" Kanoe was shocked.
"Then it appears that this even took Hinoto by surprise," Kakyou said, calmly. "Because, sure as eggs are pineapples, I didn't see this coming."
"Sure as eggs are pineapples?" Fuuma raised an eyebrow.
Kakyou scowled. "Look, I didn't come up with it, you try being a random observer to dreams and see how you are affected? I know I've got issues, but my psychologist says I'm making progress, and it's just part of what makes me a unique individual."
There was a pause.
"What's a psychologist?" asked Nataku, who had been making sand-castles in the background.
The dreamscape faded and they found themselves back in the ice-cream parlor.
"Well!" Kusanagi said, which summed it up rather nicely.
There was a further pause before Yuuto asked Kanoe, "You mean someone actually took it seriously when you suggested we all had counseling?"
"He's a dreamseer too," Kanoe pointed out. "After seeing what the Seals are like, he got quite scared and decided to have all his psychological problems sorted out before the Promised Day."
"That sounds rather unlikely," Fuuma replied, "considering his Wish is for me to kill him, so it's not like he'll enjoy the results very long."
"Okay, so I really withheld the hallucinogens from his drip. How else do you think he gets all those visions? But seriously, I truly think you should all give counseling a try."
"You've changed," observed Satsuki, "normally you don't care how homicidal, sadistic or otherwise warped we are."
Kanoe shuffled. "At work we all involuntarily went psychological assessment. I've now got an appointment with Dr Yashimoto twice a week." Her eyes glinted dangerously. "And if I go down, I'm taking you with me, you hear? Label me an exhibitionist nymphomaniac schizophrenic, will they?!"
"You forgot voyeuristic," Kakyou mumbled.
There was silence for a few seconds after the slap, and the Angels quickly resumed eating their icecream to avoid having to find something to say.
Seishirou finished his popsicle first.
"No stamina," Fuuma commented, with a grin, licking his own, which was barely started.
"No rest for the wicked," Seishirou replied, smiling, "I've got work to do."
"Don't forget your script," Nataku said, brightly, handing him the thick wad of paper.
Seishirou gave him an indulgent smile. "Thank you." He turned towards Fuuma, who was deep-throating his popsicle, smirking, and said, "Shame on you, doing such things in front of children."
"Like you can talk," Fuuma countered. He removed the stick from his mouth, swallowing the entire icecream in one go, and licked his lips.
Seishirou whistled, appreciatively. "Nice party trick."
Fuuma smirked. "Like me to demonstrate it for you sometime?"
"Demonstrate what, Daddy?" Nataku asked, looking up curiously.
"You don't want to know," Yuuto replied, turning as green as his choc-mint cone.
Seishirou chuckled, "The difference between you and I, 'Kamui', is that I have class. And also that if I attempt to pollute young children's minds I do it properly and explain what certain 'things' mean. It's so much more fun to embarrass
them that way."
Nataku was looking up at 'Daddy' and Seishirou in confusion at this point, then gave up and ate his icecream, wearing half of it in the process.
"Well, I'll be off. Goodbye all."
And with that, the meeting rapidly broke up, as the various Angels returned to their lives.
"Does anyone know what we're actually going to be auditioning as?" Kamui scowled to the rest of the Seals, who were slumped around a makeshift headquarters at CLAMP campus.
"Well, I presume as characters in the play, but if you mean which characters, I'm not sure," Karen replied, thumbing through her copy of the play, humming cheerfully as she did so. "I never imagined I'd break into the acting industry in this way!"
"Which way did you think you would?" asked Yuzuriha, her face radiating confused innocence.
Karen winked. "I'll leave it to your imagination."
Kamui, Seiichiro and Sorata blushed slightly, much to Karen's amusement, while Yuzuriha just looked even more confused. Subaru and Arashi were looking distinctly bored by the conversation already.
"Well, I guess it's fair to assume that they aren't expecting us to memorize the entire play overnight," Arashi decided, "because I doubt that's humanly possible. So maybe we've just got to read it through then show up talking about our character preferences."
There was a pause as everyone read through the brief synopsis at the beginning of the play, which summarized the various characters.
"Nee-chan, it's clear that you'd make a terrific Olivia, while I definitely want to play Orsino," Sorata announced.
"Orsino? Isn't he Olivia's obsessive stalker?" Yuzuriha said, brightly.
Sorata gave an embarrassed laugh, as the other Seals all laughed, and even Arashi and Subaru managed smiles. "Yes, well," he said, "I can sympathize with him completely. She doesn't talk to him, want to see him, it's enough to break his poor heart. She's lucky she has such a caring, determined man after her, other people would have already given up."
Arashi gave him the sort of startled look that suggested this had never occurred to her, then pursed her lips and declined commenting.
"Do you think that the casting will be determined by gender, age and appearance or by personality?" Seiichiro asked, skimming his way through the text.
No one had an answer to this.
Subaru shrugged. "I suppose it'll be up to the director. He or she is the one in charge of this, so I assume we won't really get much of a say. That's how it usually is in most jobs, isn't it? This just happens to be one of the more interesting jobs I'll have to put on my resume."
"You have a resume?" Karen asked, interested. "Do you put your profession as an Omyouji on it?"
"Well, it's my only real job qualification," Subaru pointed out, "considering I never finished high school and never have worked elsewhere, and thus have no references." He paused, considering the truth of this fact. Actually, he did have a reference, he'd done work experience at Seishirou's surgery, in the days when Seishirou had still been a vet. Somehow, he didn't think that having the Sakurazukamori on his resume would impress anyone. Terrify, perhaps, as it would the imply the threat of being assassinated if Subaru wasn't given a job (never reject the Sakurazukamori's squeeze toy if you value your life), but it hardly was impressive to anyone out of the arcane industry.
"I really hope that the charity concert covers the damage costs," Seiichiro sighed, "because I'd really have to take out a loan at this stage in my career, I don't know what my wife would think."
"I wouldn't worry about it," Sorata replied, "because there's always the 50 chance that the world will be destroyed on the promised day." He was shot a Death Glare™ by Kamui and quickly laughed and said, "Only joking, Kamui, only joking."
"Thanks for the vote of confidence," Kamui muttered, angrily.
"But what will we do if we have to pay the rest of the rebuilding costs?" Yuzuriha asked. "Does that mean…" her eyes lit up, "we could all get part-time jobs!"
With this, an apprehensive mood fell over the table at the prospect of this bizarre bunch trying to find decent employment.
"Tony-san," the Other complained, "they broke my office door. I hope your government is planning to pay for that."
"Naturally, Yamada-san," Tony replied, smoothly, "anything for our Japanese friends."
"That sounds vaguely ominous," Shigure commented.
"Oh, does it? I'm sorry."
"What does your government plan to do though, having assembled the various Dragons?"
"If we cannot avert the potentially apocalypse-causing battle, at least tip the balance so that humanity lives to breathe another day. You probably wouldn't be surprised to know that we've got an entire Bureau devoted to it. At the moment, we've got agents in the Otori academy, investigating 'World's End', not to mention people investigating several other incidents across the world. In other words, the same line of work as you.."
"True," Shigure, conceded, "although my role is more that of a lowly bureaucrat, just gathering information."
"In other words, you're a spy keeping an eye on what I'm up to?" Tony smiled. Shigure did a double take. "Well, I did say that Australian intelligence is better than you'd take it for. And I can't say I blame you, I am fully aware of how risky this is. But, on the bright side, if everything turns out well, at the very least the job of rebuilding will be subsidized."
"But, if it fails… well, I suppose we won't have long to worry about it, will we?"
"Don't be so pessimistic, Producer-san. This will be a great play, the best production of Twelfth Night that Japan has ever seen."
"Oh, so you're back to the role of Director again?"
"Naturally. And I expect I will be in this role for some time yet. We're in this together, Producer-san, so just trust me."
"I'll try," Shigure mumbled.
Skipsida's note: So… the casting begins! It's up to the reviewers to choose who does what role, so review! The roles are:
The main love plot
Viola: The star, basically. A girl cross-dressing as a boy after being shipwrecked in a foreign country. She works for
Orsino as his servant and is supposed to get Olivia to fall in love with Orsino, but falls in love with Orsino herself, which inevitably causes problems.
Sebastian: Viola's twin, who is thought to be dead in the shipwreck (and he also thinks she is dead). Wanders around causing confused for Viola and being confused himself over the whole situation.
Orsino: The Duke ruling the land of Illyria, who is in love with Olivia and won't take no for an answer. Oblivious to the fact "Cesario" is actually a girl.
Olivia: After her brother and father dies, she decides to stay away from male company. She has absolutely no interest in
Orsino, but when she sees Cesario (Viola dressed as a boy) she falls in love with him (her). And confusion reigns as soon as Sebastian enters town…
Valentino and Curio: Orsino's manservants. Minor roles
A sea captain: He saved Viola from the shipwreck and keeps her secret. A minor role.
A priest: A minor role.
Antonio: Saved Sebastian from the shipwreck and helps him in Illyria, despite being a criminal there . Acts above and beyond the call of friendship and if it weren't Shakespeare, my shounen-ai sensors would be ticking…
First officer and second officer: They come chasing after Antonio at an inconvenient moment. Minor roles.
The subplot (the gulling of Malvolio)
Malvolio: Olivia's steward, who is incredibly pompous and a notorious puritan party-pooper. Yelling at Maria, Sir Toby and Sir Andrew is the last straw, and they decide to get revenge against him…
Maria: Olivia's lady in waiting. A clever woman full of witty puns, who can't stand Malvolio. She hatches the plot to punish him.
Sir Toby Belch: Olivia's uncle, a drunkard who loves having a good time. Admires Maria greatly for her wits and her plot.
Sir Andrew Aguecheek: A rather clueless suitor of Olivia who is firmly rejected. Rather pathetic and dimwitted, but who readily goes along with the plot.
Feste: Olivia's jester, although he occasionally visits Orsino's court. Probably the only sane person in the whole play, with a rather sarcastic sense of humor. He also joins the plot.
Fabian: A member of Olivia's household, who goes along with the plot because he can't stand Malvolio.
My own ideas: Heh. Naturally I've got my own ideas for what'd be amusing, and considering how complicated the love-plot is, I think it'd be amusing to have Seishirou as the obsessive Orsino, Subaru, mourning Hokuto, as Olivia, Kamui as Viola and Fuuma as Sebastian. I mean, the two 'Kamui' don't look that alike, but enough so that it's credible. laughs Or, alternately, the coupleless casting could be Yuzuriha as Viola, Kamui as Sebastian (they do like kinda similar), Arashi as Olivia the ice-maiden and Yuuto as the playboy Duke Orsino. As for the others, well… while I'd like to see the couples stick together, I'm going for the biggest amusement factor here, as well as matching up characters by personality, not necessarily gender. Nevertheless, I'm in love with the idea of the yaoi fangirls' favourite love square thingy being translated into Twelfth Night. So… what does everyone else think? (Hint: click "review"!)