yey, more english I'll fanfiction from Red! Hiiragi/Akane, as per usual. Yeah, I can't bear to separate them for too long. He calls to me. X3 OOC Hitonari, though. Unfortunately. Bear with me.

Love Giveth and Taketh Away

by

Red

I'm worried about you. You've been acting oddly lately.
You're not going to tell me what's wrong.
You haven't told her what's wrong.
She asked me the other day.
So what is so bad?

I yawn and lay back on my back, too lazy to raise my hand against the sun's glare, so I just squint at the blue-blue sky and puffy white clouds. I love getting lost in the sky. So do you, I think. I mean, what else is up there to look at?

You're probably doing the same thing as I am, a few feet away. I can't be bothered to look. It doesn't matter.

Maybe you'll bring it up soon. I'm getting worried about worrying too much. You can't say it's healthy, no matter how many times you say that flavored milk is.

"Hitonari?"

Your tone and use of my first name is a dangerious sign.

"Mmmhmm?"

With you and big issues, it is best not to show intrest.

A pause insues. Have I shown too much intrest?

But no. You've moved closer to me, lying on your side to look at me. When we make eye contact, though brief, you sigh and close your eyes.

"I think I might actually like you."

I blink: once, then again. You stare back. Good thing you understand me so well. Otherwise you would have given up before I even processed those words.

Oh wait.

That's why you've been so wierd lately.

Hm.

I can find nothing to say that is politically correct. So instead, I have to go with something more true.

"That's...interesting."

You raise an eyebrow at me and wait for something futhur.

I try and make sense of myself.

"I..can't say I'm in love with you... I mean... I never thought about it."

You nod in aquecience. You don't expect much, do you? Anticipating falure, that's not something I would expect from you. Or maybe you know me better than I thought.

"So..." I sigh. "Do you...want to be a couple or something?"

A twitch of a smirk. I can see you find that idea as amusing as I do. We're not made for the married life, especially not to each other. That much I'm sure of, at least.

"Well... I can't say I mind."

Your eyes soften when I couldn't even tell how hard they were before. You reach out an arm and touch my wrist, looking scarily deep into me.

We are still for a long time.

Finally you sigh.

"Well, at least that's done."

A small, bitter smile flirts with your lips, and me with my newfound freedom wonder how long I have to wait before I get to see what those lips taste like. After all, I've never kissed a guy.

Instead of taking action on that rogue thought I wriggle myself closer to you, so I can place a hand on your chest.

You say, "I've told Yama, but no one else knows except I think Minefugi guesses."

I nod. Your eyes are brown. I don't think I've ever noticed before. I don't think I'll ever forget.

"You want to go to a concert with me friday night?"

I don't think I've ever been more spontanious. I know that you are surprised. I hadn't been even planning on going. I don't even have tickets. Hell, practice ends an hour before the concert starts.

"Sure."

But your attempt at hiding the grin that overflows your face is obviously not expansive enough, as is your response.

"I'll call you later."

Even speaking it myself it sounds like the ending to one of the oddest conversations I've ever had.

So we sit for a while untill the sun goes down. Quite the sight to my abstract mind. Me, on my back with my arm reached over you to rest somewhere on your ribcage; you on your side with eyes closed and head on arm.

I could sleep here with you, if it weren't for that ambulance. It drives past, waking you in such a way that jolts me from my doze. You make a little quirky smile and sit up to streatch expansively, as if waving to the gathering clouds.

I follow your move and get up, brushing myself off and heading for the door without saying goodbye. I am afraid I would be tempted to kiss you. Where that notion came from, I don't know. I've never gone after guys before.

Oh well.

The concert is a disaster. I guess my intuition about these things is better than I thought.

Rain. Poor speakers. Weak music. No crowd.

We walk out within five minutes.

Hands shoved in pockets, we wander, my subcontious continually leading me in a familiar direction. The heavy clouds and occasional sprinkle tells me I'd be better off in my apartement, and sending youhome, but I can't just let this go.

So, we go up to my privite place.

Up where the pigeons hide from the rain.

You look at me like I'm crazy when I start climbing the clanging metal stairs, but you follow anyways.

When you come up behind me, I'm standing next to the railing. You come and lean next to me, trying to see what I'm staring at. You don't know that this is an abstract stare, and I'm just trying to figure out what to do with you.

"It's...nice."

A sardonic smile quirks my lips. I can't believe how much it hurts that you don't see the importance that this place has for me. So many memories...

But I look at you, and you are serious, looking at me like I am a secret to be figured out and you've just gotten a hint.

I can't meet that look, so I turn my gaze down to my hand, which is resting on the metal guardrail. I move my hand over it, wondering.

"Yeah..."

It's like a scene from a movie.

You touch the side of my face, and I look up obediantly, quashing the voices in my head that say "him, touching, bad!".

"Really."

The look of desparate earnestness makes his word seem so much more.

"I know."

And I do. And so do you, now.

So a kiss happens.

Maybe if it had happened earlier, it would have been a testing of the waters, but you wouldn't be the type to do that.

If it had happened later, it would have been of despiration, but you aren't the type for that either.

Instead, it is a simple cementing of a fact.

Brief, to the point, and effective.

It leaves me gaping.

Not literally, of course.

The rain is falling down.

Rattling through the metal bars of society's creation, I sit with him in a little aclove against the real society, his head on my shoulder, our hands pressed together.

Sure, we're out in the cold rain. Sure we're probably going to get sick. Sure the coach and the captain are going to bitch about it. And sure, we're risking alot.

But he risked alot first, and the least I can do is follow and try and get up to his level.

At the very least.

You have to risk some to gain some.
You have to risk a lot to gain a lot.
Forbidden is that which is feared by the powerful.
Since we're all the same when we are born and when we die, we might as well be different while we live.
Love giveth, and Love taketh away.

Edit: Thanks so much, Dew, I knew I should have left it up there longer. ; This is an edited version, with things fixed. Proving it was indeed wince-worthy.

Well, is it wince-worthy? I think so, concidering how much effort I put into it... But at least I wrote something on this long weekend. Comment please, critism is always useful and comforting. It means people actually read. In any case, see you all next time!