Summary: When unrequited love shifts jealousy into blind rage, Seiji finds himself displaced.

Ryo/Seiji Shounen ai Drama R

Warning: This story contains shounen ai, which implies male/male love. Please do not read if such ideas upset you. Please use your good judgment. This fiction also contains violence and implied non-con sex. Consider yourself forewarned.

Rated R for violence, strong language and sexual situations.

Disclaimer: "Yoroiden Samurai Troopers" does not belong to me. I am but a lowly slug.



To Have and Have Not
by Libellule

Chapter one:
In Love and War



Nasuti realized quite suddenly that she had serious competition for Ryo's affections. It had come upon her without warning one day as her hands were submerged in soapy dishwater. She had been washing a plate from dinner, staring dreamily out the window when she noticed Byakuen running towards the house. The white tiger stopped briefly and watched as his master and his companion followed farther off in the distance.

Attracted by the sheer knowledge of knowing she wasn't supposed to see, Nasuti spied on their private moment, staring through the half closed drapes that framed the kitchen window.

They were just walking towards the house. Seiji was talking quietly to Ryo, with a kind of elation that she'd never seen in him before, when Ryo unexpectedly pushed him against the exterior of the house and kissed him. Passion forced their bodies together as Seiji kissed him back. Ryo broke away and whispered something huskily in Seiji's ear, causing him to laugh. Ryo leaned back from him slightly surprised, but grinned and then laughed too. With an arm slung over his shoulder, Ryo guided Seiji into the house and out of Nasuti's view.

Nasuti felt something die inside her. Such a simple act, a whimsical moment, but what she'd witnessed had been real-- real emotion, real happiness, real love.

It was right then and there that she knew drastic measures had to be taken.

Ryo was hers. He loved her. This thing with Seiji was just a phase-- some sort of deep sympathy between comrades that would dissipate as time progressed. But as she turned off the running water and dried her hands on the dish towel, she knew it was time to take things into her own hands.

They were cautious enough, saving sickening displays of affection for when they thought no one was looking. Catching only glimpses of a quick brush of lips, lingering caresses, and enlaced fingers, Nasuti wasn't even sure if they'd consummated their relationship yet.

It had only been a few weeks since Ryo and Seiji ambushed everyone with the announcement of their pairing.

Three weeks and six days to be exact.

But what made this worse, much, much worse is that they had known each other for years. They already knew the other's background and little quirks. It gave Nasuti less time to work with before they got past the awkward first stage of dating and into the secondary stage-- sex. Not that having sex meant that their relationship would be permanent-- it was just an extra complication as far as Nasuti was concerned. Tensions in the house were high and she didn't think either of them were foolish enough to breach house protocol. However, two young men's libidos would surely win out soon.

Stupidly hoping that their relationship would dissolve, she had wasted these three weeks-- soon to be four-- deceiving herself.


Nasuti heard the happy couple entering at the back door and quickly abandoned the kitchen for her bedroom.

Now was the time to act.

Nasuti loathed to admit it, but Ryo was completely enamored with Seiji. It was always he who initiated affection when others were near. Of course, Seiji indulged him, who wouldn't? Each time, Seiji grew less and less hesitant. She had to remedy this immediately.

She listened as they ascended the staircase, Ryo's pleasant voice murmuring words that should be reserved only for her.

Soon, she thought. Soon she'd taste the pleasure of Ryo's lips and the bliss of his touch.

Observing herself in the mirror, Nasuti smoothed her shirt around her feminine figure. She turned slightly, admiring her shape. She was endowed with firm breasts, long legs, and a curvaceous figure-- more than enough for any man to stop and stare.

Nasuti was confident that she could win Ryo's love. If she played her cards right, she could be Sanada Nasuti before the year was up.

And crush that insolent bastard, Seiji, into the dirt where he belonged.



***



Shin thought it was adorable.

He was in the living room with Touma and Shuu watching TV. Ryo and Seiji had discreetly come in through the back, but he heard the slight click-clack of the door as they retreated upstairs.

Shin's heart warmed at the sight of them-- at least someone was happy and in love.

His opinion was not the popular one of the house, however. Nasuti was obviously less than thrilled, though she tried her best to hide it. Touma was outwardly hostile towards them, particularly Seiji. Ryo would quickly spring to his defense, not that Seiji needed it, and soon Touma and Ryo would be fighting in a fierce exchange of words.


Shuu had not given his view yet. He didn't comment much about it other than nodding or shaking his head. Casting a sideways glance in his direction, Shin would love to know what the Earth warrior was thinking. He'd never seen Shuu so silent in all his life. Shin suspected that Shuu was still mulling it over.


Well, I'm glad they have each other. Shin said to no one in particular. Especially now after all that's happened...

I can't believe you condone this. Touma retorted, his gaze fixed on the television screen.

And I can't believe that you're so disdainful. Shin replied. They're your friends and they've found happiness in each other.

Touma chose not to start another argument with Shin and kept his thoughts to himself. But it was apparent that he was agitated. Perhaps there was another reason Touma was upset.

Maybe he was jealous, maybe behind closed doors he and Seiji had been something once. Maybe he was shocked or angry with himself for lost opportunities. Touma was angry with himself and taking it out on them.

Shin watched his profile, but Touma would not look at him.

They sat in unquiet, the television occupying the lack of conversation. Its seemed as if the room was filled with gas, awaiting only the spark of a fiery word to engulf them all in flames.

Things had never been this uneasy among them. It was almost as if a trust had been broken. Perhaps one had been. Though, they all were guilty of turning a blind eye to the spark of romance between Ryo and Seiji.

Shin was happy for them, he really was. Loneliness was the price of bearing the armor-- all they had was each other. It was hard to maintain a relationship when one bore such a secret. Most of them had severed ties with their families or at least distanced themselves. It was rare to find a person that was selfless enough to understand that they were part of something greater than themselves.

He just could not understand why two of his best friends weren't speaking to the other two over something so foolish. Shin knew Touma wasn't really this much of an asshole.


Sighing, Shin desperately wished they could get back to being friends again. He hated being stuck in the middle of all this tension.


His sigh became the lit match in the loaded room as Touma muttered, This is fucking unbelievable.

Sick of all this nonsense, Shin's own anger boiled over. I didn't know you were such a bigot, Touma, Shin retorted.

I am not a bigot. He sat straight up, glaring at him furiously. They have mislead--

Hey, lighten up. Shuu interrupted.

It speaks! Touma mocked.

Folding his arms, Shuu replied, For someone with such a high IQ, you can really be a baka.

If Shin went off, fucking guys how would you feel?

Shin's mouth dropped, speechless and nearly offended by the reference.

Look, it took me by surprise too. But I've thought about it and I don't care. If Shin woke up tomorrow flaming gay--.

Excuse me! Shin's exclamation went unheeded.

--It wouldn't change our friendship. Seiji and Ryo are my friends-- they're good friends-- and I still trust them with my life. Nothing has changed around here except you.

Touma stood, shaking his head. I don't believe this. He retorted and stormed out of the room.

Shin and Shuu stared after him, the sound of the forgotten movie filling up the quiet between them.


After a moment, Shin said indignantly, Flaming gay?

A grin spread across his face, and the two remaining troopers broke into helpless laughter.


***



The clock in the hall chimed nine times as Nasuti crept down the stairs. She peered through the doorway into the living room.

He was sitting on the couch, reading the newspaper. Hearing the shower running upstairs, she knew the other would be a while. Now was the time to make her move-- when he was alone.


She sauntered towards him, her short skirt barely coming to mid-thigh. He glanced up at her, then stared, a mixture of surprise and amusement reflecting in his eyes.

As he attempted to rise from the couch she pushed him back down, leaning over him seductively, her low cut blouse revealing her black, lace trimmed bra.

Wide-eyed, he asked, What are you doing?

Giving you something you've wanted for a long time now.

Before he could stop her, she grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and pulled him into an ardent kiss. Straddling his lap, her fingers laced in his hair, Nasuti fastened her mouth over his, her tongue seeking his.

His hands traced up her arms and firmly saddled around her shoulders.


Seiji roughly wrenched her away.

Nasuti looked at him with angered astonishment.

What do you think you're doing? He asked irately. You know Ryo and I are together now.

Seiji rose from the couch, tearing away from her treacherous grasp.

Furious that she had been unable to deceive him, she screamed, Together? He's not with you!

Nasuti, why can't you understand--.

Me understand? She interrupted. It's you who is mistaken. He can't possibly love you, Seiji!

His eyes narrowing, he asked, And why is that so impossible?

she laughed cruelly. How could Ryo ever fall in love with you? You, who's heart is made of ice? You don't truly love!


Seiji straightened to his full height, looking down on her with cool eyes.

You don't know what you're talking about. He said.


I do know the difference between love and pity. She murmured. Ryo doesn't love you, Seiji. He is kind to you because that is his nature. It's sickening how you take advantage of him, how you pervert his good intentions, deceiving him into thinking you are what he wants.

Nasuti stepped towards him, making sure he was paying attention. You destroy all you touch. Is it really such a wonder that your mother abandoned you and your father can't stand the sight of you, little gaijin?

She smiled sardonically as she watched him stiffen. Do you want to drive Ryo away too? Do you want to hurt him? You are like ice to his fire-- he needs more than you can give him.


Nasuti held her breath, unsure if her speech had affected Seiji at all.

Seiji stooped his head slightly and walked past her, Goodnight, Nasuti.


Unbridled rage coursed through her, You heartless bastard! You mean less than nothing to him! Ryo will never love you!

Nasuti chased him to the doorway, shouting after him as he walked into the night, Do you hear me? You're nothing to him, but another way to get off! He'll never--.

She stopped short.


Ryo stood in the shadows of the stairwell, looking at Nasuti, incensed.

I-I didn't see you there, Ryo. Nasuti whispered.

How dare you... He started, too angry to finish. He came down the stairs, glaring at her, his wet hair dripping onto his worn sweatshirt.

Now, Ryo... She trailed. You-you didn't hear what he--.

I heard enough. His words were quick, effectively cutting her off. How could you say that to him?

It's true! He is colder than ice--.

You know nothing about him! He shouted. Or about us.


Ryo looked directly at her and stated bluntly, I'm in love with him.

In other words, not her.


Nasuti stepped backward, his words stung her as would a slap to the face.

That was it-- her hopes were charred, consumed by the flames of his perverted love for Seiji.

Her defenses flared and the desire to hurt him was strong.

Oh I get it... She hissed. You like being in control. That's not love, Ryo, that's power. Having dominion over him thrills you and Seiji is ever obedient.

His voice was dangerously low.

What you consider his love and devotion is really nothing more than his fear and sense of duty to his leader. Parting his legs for you-- he's your own little whore.

Nasuti saw the rage burning behind his blue eyes, but that only fueled her words.

You've always been one for control and power... Do you get aroused when he begs you to stop? Do his objections make you want it more? Seiji is very beautiful, with his blond hair and violet eyes-- I'll bet you don't even notice the difference. Do you even listen to his cries of protest as you fuck him?


For a moment, Nasuti was afraid that Ryo was going to strike her. His hands were balled into tight fists by his sides and his eyes blazed with a violent fury.

Get out of my sight, before I do something you'll regret.

Truly frightened, she fled and she did not stop until she had safely locked herself in her bedroom.

With tears streaming down her cheeks, she flung herself on her bed and sobbed. She knew she'd gone too far-- it had come out of her mouth in a fit of anger. She wanted to hurt Ryo as he'd hurt her, and now-- Ryo would never love her.

That god damned fucking gaijin whore had stolen her Ryo.

He will pay.



Continued in chapter two...





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Please take the time to review or send me an e-mail-- this chapter was very difficult to write! Oh the woes of being a fanfiction author! *grins* okay, so I'm a bit melodramatic, but seriously a bit of feedback would really help me with the still unfinished chapter two...