Thanks to all of you out there who have been reading and sending your
comments. Your feedback is appreciated and quite addictive I might add.
Being my first fan fic, I'm not expecting to shoot the moon, but my hope is
to successfully put my mental ramblings into words.
Chapter 11
By mid-October, Narnia was finding herself quite comfortable with her new surroundings. Hogwarts was feeling more like home and she enjoyed its pace. The routine could be exhaustive at times, as it seemed that at least one night out of the week she went without sleep. Her dreams were still haunting her, on a regular basis now, but as with everything else, she became used to them. All other matters were to her liking. The weather, she would say, could stand to be a bit warmer, but it was only a slight inconvenience compared to all there was to enjoy. She had also heard from Gran, twice now, and apart from missing her granddaughter, all seemed well at home.
Narnia's rapport with her students was to her delight, as she felt she had gained their confidence and respect. She had never been able to achieve a bond with the Slytherin students as she had with the other houses, but she guessed this normal, as they only seemed to show devotion to their Head of House. Her relationship with the Head of Slytherin had not improved a great deal, yet it had not deteriorated either. After her first Potions' lesson and much deliberation, she had abandoned her decision to decline his instruction. Despite her frustration following their first meeting, she found herself wishing to learn more from him and the one compliment that he had offered her left her craving more of his approval. Upon first meeting Severus Snape, she had no desire for his confidence and she had made this plain to him. She loathed him and his behavior towards her. Whatever it had been that had changed her mind and feelings on the matter had crept in, secretly, and had spread infectiously.
When she would arrive for her tutoring, she would find the necessary items ready for her, along with his scribblings on parchment. Other than offering guidance occasionally, he would keep to himself, allowing her to work. This arrangement was suitable to her and therefore, she continued her study. She was not naïve enough to believe that he had agreed to teach her simply out of appreciation for her wanting to improve her skills. This weekly arrangement was benefiting his purposes as well as hers. With her attentions on the assignment, he could study her uninterrupted and begin to form his conclusions about her. Even though she never caught him watching her, she always felt his gaze. His presence, she was always aware of; it seemed to tug at her ceaselessly. Rarely did she feel intimidated by his scrutiny, but increasingly, she found herself longing for his trust. Knowing he was dissecting her every action, she made extra effort to handle every chore with care and perfection. She hoped through her diligence he would eventually come to consider her trustworthy.
It had been a month since Narnia began meeting with Snape and as her knowledge of magical drafts improved, so did their unspoken respect for one another. Snape's praises did not come in the form of comment, but simply a nod of approval at the finish of each brew. It became her practice to stand by the fire while her potion would simmer and she would trade glances between the flames and Snape, watching as he poured over student work, muttering to himself in irritation at a student's obvious mistake or commenting in surprise at a pupil's understanding of a concept. She did not make it habit to gawk, but her admiration for his dedication to all that was under his care was increasing. On evenings that required a longer brewing period for her potion, she would grab a book from one of the stacks behind his desk and take her place by the fire, or if he seemed caught up on his work, she would draw him into conversation, often times it leading into a debate over their differing opinions. Discussion remained limited, but when present, Narnia found herself deflecting his jabs before he had the opportunity to fully utilize them. She kept sarcasm at bay and gave him gentle, yet succinct response, in the same manner that she had seen her uncle do on countless occasions. This tactic appeared successful for Dumbledore and she had decided to adopt it herself.
Narnia was conscious that Snape would welcome her growing security around him. The more comfortable she felt in his company, the more damage he could inflict. He would use this to his gain and of course, at the time in which he felt it would best suit his purposes. His sarcastic wit and biting remarks were never very far away and Narnia remained a victim to them from time to time. Piercing and as hurtful as they could be, she refrained from reply when in the company of others, knowing that receiving his comments only came at a small price. The time spent with him was something she was starting to look forward to, and though unsure, she thought she sensed the same from him. She could tell that he was growing in easiness around her, perhaps finally coming to trust her, and it hadn't escaped her that possibly his cutting words came only as a means to keep her at arms length.
Professor Dumbledore had been informed of the weekly appointment his niece was keeping with the Potions Master, almost immediately after Snape had decided to tutor her. The Headmaster had expressed his pleasure to Narnia upon hearing about the matter and was glad to she that she was willing to capitalize upon her time spent at Hogwarts. Dumbledore also pointed out his relief in noticing that Professor Snape had apparently recovered from his dissatisfaction in Narnia's addition to the staff.
"Severus tells me that you are a bit beyond where he expected you to be at this point," Dumbledore stated, glancing at Narnia over his half-moon spectacles, a grin flirting on his face. He had asked Narnia to join him in his office for the afternoon, hoping for a chance to catch up with her since he had been quite busy after her arrival and had not had the chance to do so. She sat across from him, enjoying her cup of tea and smiled at the apparent impression she had made on Snape.
"Good." Narnia stood and went to refill her cup. "I think it would be good practice for him to find himself mistaken on occasion." She paused to stir her tea, then posted herself next to the window, looking out across the grounds. "In all fairness, a good deal of what I've been able to accomplish is a result of his skill and high expectations. I find he's not someone I would want to disappoint or for that matter, have fighting against me."
"It seems you are not the only one gaining respect in the matter." Narnia met her uncle's eyes briefly before turning away. She could feel a slight heat rising in her face and she wondered if she had spoken too highly of Professor Snape, giving Dumbledore cause to suspect the growing attachment on Narnia's part. "True, that we are very fortunate to have his loyalties. Severus has always been resourceful, and demanding, perhaps more so on himself than others, though many do not perceive it that way, but as you stated a little exercise in being 'mistaken on occasion' is undoubtedly healthy for him." Dumbledore hesitated briefly and Narnia turned to face him. "When the occasion presents itself, if possible, I find he fares better to discover his miscalculation on his own. When it is pointed out to him, there always seems to be some aftermath to tidy up." Narnia understood her uncle's last statement as insight she may find herself in need of and decided it best to leave the subject at that.
"As interesting and complex as our Potions Master is, there are other subjects I wish to speak with you on." The Headmaster's tone implied a touch of humor, but indicated that he would need Narnia's entire concentration. Understanding this, she again took her seat opposite him.
"Members of the Order will be meeting next week to discuss any recent happenings of significance. Depending on what information is brought forth, we may need to form certain strategies and begin putting them in place. Not everyone will be in attendance, but since it will be the first meeting since your joining us, I would like for you to be present." Narnia silently agreed with the nod of her head, waiting for her uncle to go on. "Hagrid will take you into Hogsmeade where you will meet with Remus Lupin. I'm sure by now you know a little of him."
"Yes, sir."
"He will accompany you to the Order's Headquarters. I want it known that I have complete confidence in your ability to protect yourself, however, until you are comfortable with the location and assured of who you can trust and who you cannot, I would rather you travel with a reliable escort. You are to meet Lupin at the Three Broomsticks on Saturday morning. I believe it to be a good idea for you to arrive somewhat earlier than everyone else in order for acquaintances to be made since there are several people you have yet not met."
"Of course. I must say it will be a relief to gain more insight into the workings of the Order." Narnia replied, considering the question that Snape had thrown at her during their first meeting. She had agreed to help, after receiving little information, but her intuition led her to believe she was making the right choice. Nothing had given her reason to feel otherwise, not even Snape's suspicion.
"Do not fret over it, my dear. All will be revealed in time. We have left no one to their own devices yet and we shall not coax you into our midst, only to leave you blind to our operations. You have too sharp an intellect to find yourself standing on the sidelines and your thoughts will be invaluable, I am sure."
The remainder of her afternoon tea with Dumbledore was spent in more light- hearted conversation. She shared with him dealings from her first months of teaching and asked his opinions on several matters, including the content of her lessons, as well as her approach. He commended her for her work thus far and she found his advice quite enlightening. The topic of her grandmother always arrived in their discussions at some point, due to her nearness to both of their hearts. Narnia appreciated hearing her uncle's narratives from their youth as it made the distance between her and Gran seem somewhat smaller. In turn, she knew of her uncle's enjoyment at hearing her accounts. Time and circumstance had led the siblings down different roads, inevitably causing their closeness to fade and now, as he listened to his niece tell of those moments he had not been witness to, the gaps somehow seemed to close in. At times such as these, Narnia was saddened that she had missed the opportunity to know her uncle sooner, yet she was thankful she was at least offered the chance to. Their afternoon chats, though few, were dear to her. Before closing his office door behind her, she stole one quick glance back at him, watching as he stroked Fawkes' wing. She had never found it easy to place even the smallest amount of faith in a man, but to her surprise, that all seemed to be changing.
Chapter 11
By mid-October, Narnia was finding herself quite comfortable with her new surroundings. Hogwarts was feeling more like home and she enjoyed its pace. The routine could be exhaustive at times, as it seemed that at least one night out of the week she went without sleep. Her dreams were still haunting her, on a regular basis now, but as with everything else, she became used to them. All other matters were to her liking. The weather, she would say, could stand to be a bit warmer, but it was only a slight inconvenience compared to all there was to enjoy. She had also heard from Gran, twice now, and apart from missing her granddaughter, all seemed well at home.
Narnia's rapport with her students was to her delight, as she felt she had gained their confidence and respect. She had never been able to achieve a bond with the Slytherin students as she had with the other houses, but she guessed this normal, as they only seemed to show devotion to their Head of House. Her relationship with the Head of Slytherin had not improved a great deal, yet it had not deteriorated either. After her first Potions' lesson and much deliberation, she had abandoned her decision to decline his instruction. Despite her frustration following their first meeting, she found herself wishing to learn more from him and the one compliment that he had offered her left her craving more of his approval. Upon first meeting Severus Snape, she had no desire for his confidence and she had made this plain to him. She loathed him and his behavior towards her. Whatever it had been that had changed her mind and feelings on the matter had crept in, secretly, and had spread infectiously.
When she would arrive for her tutoring, she would find the necessary items ready for her, along with his scribblings on parchment. Other than offering guidance occasionally, he would keep to himself, allowing her to work. This arrangement was suitable to her and therefore, she continued her study. She was not naïve enough to believe that he had agreed to teach her simply out of appreciation for her wanting to improve her skills. This weekly arrangement was benefiting his purposes as well as hers. With her attentions on the assignment, he could study her uninterrupted and begin to form his conclusions about her. Even though she never caught him watching her, she always felt his gaze. His presence, she was always aware of; it seemed to tug at her ceaselessly. Rarely did she feel intimidated by his scrutiny, but increasingly, she found herself longing for his trust. Knowing he was dissecting her every action, she made extra effort to handle every chore with care and perfection. She hoped through her diligence he would eventually come to consider her trustworthy.
It had been a month since Narnia began meeting with Snape and as her knowledge of magical drafts improved, so did their unspoken respect for one another. Snape's praises did not come in the form of comment, but simply a nod of approval at the finish of each brew. It became her practice to stand by the fire while her potion would simmer and she would trade glances between the flames and Snape, watching as he poured over student work, muttering to himself in irritation at a student's obvious mistake or commenting in surprise at a pupil's understanding of a concept. She did not make it habit to gawk, but her admiration for his dedication to all that was under his care was increasing. On evenings that required a longer brewing period for her potion, she would grab a book from one of the stacks behind his desk and take her place by the fire, or if he seemed caught up on his work, she would draw him into conversation, often times it leading into a debate over their differing opinions. Discussion remained limited, but when present, Narnia found herself deflecting his jabs before he had the opportunity to fully utilize them. She kept sarcasm at bay and gave him gentle, yet succinct response, in the same manner that she had seen her uncle do on countless occasions. This tactic appeared successful for Dumbledore and she had decided to adopt it herself.
Narnia was conscious that Snape would welcome her growing security around him. The more comfortable she felt in his company, the more damage he could inflict. He would use this to his gain and of course, at the time in which he felt it would best suit his purposes. His sarcastic wit and biting remarks were never very far away and Narnia remained a victim to them from time to time. Piercing and as hurtful as they could be, she refrained from reply when in the company of others, knowing that receiving his comments only came at a small price. The time spent with him was something she was starting to look forward to, and though unsure, she thought she sensed the same from him. She could tell that he was growing in easiness around her, perhaps finally coming to trust her, and it hadn't escaped her that possibly his cutting words came only as a means to keep her at arms length.
Professor Dumbledore had been informed of the weekly appointment his niece was keeping with the Potions Master, almost immediately after Snape had decided to tutor her. The Headmaster had expressed his pleasure to Narnia upon hearing about the matter and was glad to she that she was willing to capitalize upon her time spent at Hogwarts. Dumbledore also pointed out his relief in noticing that Professor Snape had apparently recovered from his dissatisfaction in Narnia's addition to the staff.
"Severus tells me that you are a bit beyond where he expected you to be at this point," Dumbledore stated, glancing at Narnia over his half-moon spectacles, a grin flirting on his face. He had asked Narnia to join him in his office for the afternoon, hoping for a chance to catch up with her since he had been quite busy after her arrival and had not had the chance to do so. She sat across from him, enjoying her cup of tea and smiled at the apparent impression she had made on Snape.
"Good." Narnia stood and went to refill her cup. "I think it would be good practice for him to find himself mistaken on occasion." She paused to stir her tea, then posted herself next to the window, looking out across the grounds. "In all fairness, a good deal of what I've been able to accomplish is a result of his skill and high expectations. I find he's not someone I would want to disappoint or for that matter, have fighting against me."
"It seems you are not the only one gaining respect in the matter." Narnia met her uncle's eyes briefly before turning away. She could feel a slight heat rising in her face and she wondered if she had spoken too highly of Professor Snape, giving Dumbledore cause to suspect the growing attachment on Narnia's part. "True, that we are very fortunate to have his loyalties. Severus has always been resourceful, and demanding, perhaps more so on himself than others, though many do not perceive it that way, but as you stated a little exercise in being 'mistaken on occasion' is undoubtedly healthy for him." Dumbledore hesitated briefly and Narnia turned to face him. "When the occasion presents itself, if possible, I find he fares better to discover his miscalculation on his own. When it is pointed out to him, there always seems to be some aftermath to tidy up." Narnia understood her uncle's last statement as insight she may find herself in need of and decided it best to leave the subject at that.
"As interesting and complex as our Potions Master is, there are other subjects I wish to speak with you on." The Headmaster's tone implied a touch of humor, but indicated that he would need Narnia's entire concentration. Understanding this, she again took her seat opposite him.
"Members of the Order will be meeting next week to discuss any recent happenings of significance. Depending on what information is brought forth, we may need to form certain strategies and begin putting them in place. Not everyone will be in attendance, but since it will be the first meeting since your joining us, I would like for you to be present." Narnia silently agreed with the nod of her head, waiting for her uncle to go on. "Hagrid will take you into Hogsmeade where you will meet with Remus Lupin. I'm sure by now you know a little of him."
"Yes, sir."
"He will accompany you to the Order's Headquarters. I want it known that I have complete confidence in your ability to protect yourself, however, until you are comfortable with the location and assured of who you can trust and who you cannot, I would rather you travel with a reliable escort. You are to meet Lupin at the Three Broomsticks on Saturday morning. I believe it to be a good idea for you to arrive somewhat earlier than everyone else in order for acquaintances to be made since there are several people you have yet not met."
"Of course. I must say it will be a relief to gain more insight into the workings of the Order." Narnia replied, considering the question that Snape had thrown at her during their first meeting. She had agreed to help, after receiving little information, but her intuition led her to believe she was making the right choice. Nothing had given her reason to feel otherwise, not even Snape's suspicion.
"Do not fret over it, my dear. All will be revealed in time. We have left no one to their own devices yet and we shall not coax you into our midst, only to leave you blind to our operations. You have too sharp an intellect to find yourself standing on the sidelines and your thoughts will be invaluable, I am sure."
The remainder of her afternoon tea with Dumbledore was spent in more light- hearted conversation. She shared with him dealings from her first months of teaching and asked his opinions on several matters, including the content of her lessons, as well as her approach. He commended her for her work thus far and she found his advice quite enlightening. The topic of her grandmother always arrived in their discussions at some point, due to her nearness to both of their hearts. Narnia appreciated hearing her uncle's narratives from their youth as it made the distance between her and Gran seem somewhat smaller. In turn, she knew of her uncle's enjoyment at hearing her accounts. Time and circumstance had led the siblings down different roads, inevitably causing their closeness to fade and now, as he listened to his niece tell of those moments he had not been witness to, the gaps somehow seemed to close in. At times such as these, Narnia was saddened that she had missed the opportunity to know her uncle sooner, yet she was thankful she was at least offered the chance to. Their afternoon chats, though few, were dear to her. Before closing his office door behind her, she stole one quick glance back at him, watching as he stroked Fawkes' wing. She had never found it easy to place even the smallest amount of faith in a man, but to her surprise, that all seemed to be changing.