Train Wreck
Sarah McLachlan
Would your love in all its finery Tear at the darkness all around me Until I can feel again Until I can breathe again
CHORUS 'Cause I'm a train wreck waiting to happen waiting for someone to come pick me up off the tracks a wildfire born of frustration born of the one love that gets me so high I've no fear at all
Would your eyes like midnight fireflies Light up the trenches where my heart lies Until I can see again To find my way back again
Chorus
To fall so deep into you Lose myself completely In your sweet embrace All my pain's erased
From your mouth it's all that I wish The mercy of your lips, just one kiss Until I can breathe again So that I can sing again
Chorus
Chapter 17
Home. It felt so far, unreachable from where she was now. The normal routine she had there was out of her grasp. For so long she had wanted to escape the mundane, but now, she would give anything to have one day of it. All that surrounded her felt as though it were a train, gaining momentum, while she struggled to keep up. At any time, she expected everything to collide and the mess would be catastrophic; there she would be, uncertain, in the midst of it. One piece of parchment, brought by a tawny barn owl every couple of weeks, soothed her and helped to focus her energies, keeping her another moment away from a wreck.
Narnia was thankful for the consistent correspondence she had with her grandmother. Letters from Gran delighted and saddened her. She missed her grandmother and more to the point, missed sharing her thoughts and talking with her. At any moment Narnia faced a circumstance she was unable to handle, Gran was there to help and encourage. Now, she would have to find her own way through.
In the past weeks, her interactions with Snape had returned to some sense of normalcy. She was gratified that their friendship had seemingly not suffered any irreversible damage, but it was still too soon to tell. The potions' lessons he had previously given were not continued, as was a result of unspoken understanding between them. At meals, his lack of conversation was as always, but it was as if some distraction entertained his attentions. Later that week, she gained some insight as to why.
Narnia had been working in her office when Snape's voice suddenly bellowed from the fireplace.
"Professor Fairling, I'd like a word."
Wavering, she replied, "One moment, please," and marking her place in the text she had been studying, she laid the book down and exited her office through the hearth.
Stepping into Snape's office, she glanced down at her clothing, frustrated with what she saw. Both of her hands slapped at the dust on her robes and she silently scolded herself for not walking the corridors instead. Vanity was never a characteristic she commonly associated with herself, but she had no desire to be viewed as a street rag either.
"If you are quite finished?"
Narnia looked up to see Snape watching her, with a look of impatience covering his features.
"I hate traveling that way."
Narnia caught the slightest hint of him rolling his eyes before he turned and gathered up a stack of parchments in his hands.
"I will be away for the next two days and am in need of someone to cover my classes. These," he pointed to the pile of paper in his hands, "are assignments that need to be returned. All other materials can be found on my desk in the classroom, such as the instructions for the brews each class will be working on. Items that are needed for each potion can be found in the immediate classroom. All other areas are out of bounds. Do you have any questions?"
"Yes, actually. When, exactly, were you planning to ask me if I would instruct your class while you're away?
Snape did not appear to be in any mood to be toyed with. Narnia's wish was to avoid an argument, but she would not simply give into demands.
"If you do not think yourself able to handle my classes, then I will find someone less...."
"I believe myself to be quite capable. It is simply a matter of courtesy for you to ask me, not command."
He replied through clenched teeth. "Very well, would you?"
"Yes."
"Though I hate to ask, are there any other points in which you need my clarification?"
Her progress in her own skills at brewing potions had improved, but handling a classroom full of students who were possibly superior caused an uneasiness to swell within her. "The potions they will be brewing...."
Perhaps sensing her apprehension, Snape cut her short, surprising her again with the praise in his comment. "I would not have 'asked' you to cover my classes if you were unable. There will be several potions that we did not discuss, but they will be no challenge for you."
"Very well." Narnia stood in silence gazing at the floor, aware that Snape was studying her. She looked again at him when he spoke.
"If that is all Professor, I must prepare for my departure."
Narnia paused before continuing. Something in his demeanor was worrying her. "You are leaving tonight, I take it?"
"Yes."
Despite her growing concern, Narnia felt no desire to pry and the anxiety she read in his voice did not pass by unnoticed. She turned and walked to the door and just before she stepped out, she turned back to face him. Expecting that he had returned to his work, she was shocked to find he was watching her.
"Be careful," was all she managed to choke out. He gave a nod of his head and she slipped out of his office, returning to her own.
Narnia had spent the remainder of the evening in her office, trying to maintain focus on the work she needed to accomplish. Now that she would be teaching Snape's classes for the next two days, her workload would double and she most certainly wanted to leave him with a good impression when he returned. If his records and classroom were out of order, he would not be pleasant to deal with. More of a current distraction, was the thought of where he was going and if it had anything to do with Draco being in his office the very same day she had went to speak with him. Her instincts were telling her it did, therefore, making the situation much more disheartening. Needing to take a break, she folded her arms on her desk and laid her head down. It would only be for a moment and then she could begin her work again.
The scenery around her was all too familiar. Like each time before, she ran for the clearing. Looking around she was surprised to see that more figures seemed to be standing amongst the tree line. Rapidly she turned around, desperate to discover any more revelations. She saw a flash of something. It was silver, but white, also. Before she could examine it further, she felt someone shaking her rather violently.
Unaware of what was happening, she had somehow wielded her wand and was pointing it at Snape's chest. Their eyes were locked on one another, Snape's in surprise and Narnia's in fear. The only sound was that of Narnia's rapid breathing. Finally deciding to lower her wand, she looked around to see that she was still at her desk, with Snape kneeling directly beside her. She had apparently fallen asleep and he had attempted to wake her. She looked back at Snape, a look of concern on his face.
"I neglected to give this to you earlier." He reached into the pocket of his traveling cloak and pulled out two small vials. "It is a simple sleeping draught. Only take one tonight and you will have uninterrupted sleep. The other is an extra."
Narnia timidly reached out for the vials and placed them on her desk. "Thank you." He remained at her side.
"I would suggest that you end your work for the evening and return to your chambers." He paused, and then added, "I don't want my students behind when I return."
She turned to face him, aware of his kindness in the matter, despite his attempt to conceal it.
"You're leaving now?" Narnia heard a small hint of disappointment in her own voice.
"Momentarily."
Feeling the tension, and hesitant to do so, she reached out her hand and gently caressed his hair, searching his eyes with her own. Her hand was trembling and he reached up and pulled it down into his own. Quickly, he moved towards her, placing his other hand behind her head, pulling her up into an ardent kiss. Releasing her hand from his, she clutched onto his cloak with both hands, waiting to pull him back if he withdrew. He groaned in response and Narnia tightened her grip, all the while kissing him eagerly. He now had his hands framing her face, running his thumbs along her cheeks and after an instant of doing so, broke their connection tenderly. Both breathing heavily, Narnia wrapped her arms around him, pulling him slowly into an embrace. After relinquishing and placing his own arms around her, Severus placed his hands on Narnia's shoulders, gently pushing her away, raising one hand to brush back a strand of hair from her face.
"Narnia, I must go."
Narnia nodded her head in acknowledgement, privately delighting in the fact that he finally used her first name.
"We shall pick up where we left off when I return," he stated, a mischievous grin playing on his face.
"Perhaps," she replied, grinning.
He turned on his heel and left the office. Looking around the room for a second time, Narnia was unsure of whether she had actually stopped dreaming or not.
Would your love in all its finery Tear at the darkness all around me Until I can feel again Until I can breathe again
CHORUS 'Cause I'm a train wreck waiting to happen waiting for someone to come pick me up off the tracks a wildfire born of frustration born of the one love that gets me so high I've no fear at all
Would your eyes like midnight fireflies Light up the trenches where my heart lies Until I can see again To find my way back again
Chorus
To fall so deep into you Lose myself completely In your sweet embrace All my pain's erased
From your mouth it's all that I wish The mercy of your lips, just one kiss Until I can breathe again So that I can sing again
Chorus
Chapter 17
Home. It felt so far, unreachable from where she was now. The normal routine she had there was out of her grasp. For so long she had wanted to escape the mundane, but now, she would give anything to have one day of it. All that surrounded her felt as though it were a train, gaining momentum, while she struggled to keep up. At any time, she expected everything to collide and the mess would be catastrophic; there she would be, uncertain, in the midst of it. One piece of parchment, brought by a tawny barn owl every couple of weeks, soothed her and helped to focus her energies, keeping her another moment away from a wreck.
Narnia was thankful for the consistent correspondence she had with her grandmother. Letters from Gran delighted and saddened her. She missed her grandmother and more to the point, missed sharing her thoughts and talking with her. At any moment Narnia faced a circumstance she was unable to handle, Gran was there to help and encourage. Now, she would have to find her own way through.
In the past weeks, her interactions with Snape had returned to some sense of normalcy. She was gratified that their friendship had seemingly not suffered any irreversible damage, but it was still too soon to tell. The potions' lessons he had previously given were not continued, as was a result of unspoken understanding between them. At meals, his lack of conversation was as always, but it was as if some distraction entertained his attentions. Later that week, she gained some insight as to why.
Narnia had been working in her office when Snape's voice suddenly bellowed from the fireplace.
"Professor Fairling, I'd like a word."
Wavering, she replied, "One moment, please," and marking her place in the text she had been studying, she laid the book down and exited her office through the hearth.
Stepping into Snape's office, she glanced down at her clothing, frustrated with what she saw. Both of her hands slapped at the dust on her robes and she silently scolded herself for not walking the corridors instead. Vanity was never a characteristic she commonly associated with herself, but she had no desire to be viewed as a street rag either.
"If you are quite finished?"
Narnia looked up to see Snape watching her, with a look of impatience covering his features.
"I hate traveling that way."
Narnia caught the slightest hint of him rolling his eyes before he turned and gathered up a stack of parchments in his hands.
"I will be away for the next two days and am in need of someone to cover my classes. These," he pointed to the pile of paper in his hands, "are assignments that need to be returned. All other materials can be found on my desk in the classroom, such as the instructions for the brews each class will be working on. Items that are needed for each potion can be found in the immediate classroom. All other areas are out of bounds. Do you have any questions?"
"Yes, actually. When, exactly, were you planning to ask me if I would instruct your class while you're away?
Snape did not appear to be in any mood to be toyed with. Narnia's wish was to avoid an argument, but she would not simply give into demands.
"If you do not think yourself able to handle my classes, then I will find someone less...."
"I believe myself to be quite capable. It is simply a matter of courtesy for you to ask me, not command."
He replied through clenched teeth. "Very well, would you?"
"Yes."
"Though I hate to ask, are there any other points in which you need my clarification?"
Her progress in her own skills at brewing potions had improved, but handling a classroom full of students who were possibly superior caused an uneasiness to swell within her. "The potions they will be brewing...."
Perhaps sensing her apprehension, Snape cut her short, surprising her again with the praise in his comment. "I would not have 'asked' you to cover my classes if you were unable. There will be several potions that we did not discuss, but they will be no challenge for you."
"Very well." Narnia stood in silence gazing at the floor, aware that Snape was studying her. She looked again at him when he spoke.
"If that is all Professor, I must prepare for my departure."
Narnia paused before continuing. Something in his demeanor was worrying her. "You are leaving tonight, I take it?"
"Yes."
Despite her growing concern, Narnia felt no desire to pry and the anxiety she read in his voice did not pass by unnoticed. She turned and walked to the door and just before she stepped out, she turned back to face him. Expecting that he had returned to his work, she was shocked to find he was watching her.
"Be careful," was all she managed to choke out. He gave a nod of his head and she slipped out of his office, returning to her own.
Narnia had spent the remainder of the evening in her office, trying to maintain focus on the work she needed to accomplish. Now that she would be teaching Snape's classes for the next two days, her workload would double and she most certainly wanted to leave him with a good impression when he returned. If his records and classroom were out of order, he would not be pleasant to deal with. More of a current distraction, was the thought of where he was going and if it had anything to do with Draco being in his office the very same day she had went to speak with him. Her instincts were telling her it did, therefore, making the situation much more disheartening. Needing to take a break, she folded her arms on her desk and laid her head down. It would only be for a moment and then she could begin her work again.
The scenery around her was all too familiar. Like each time before, she ran for the clearing. Looking around she was surprised to see that more figures seemed to be standing amongst the tree line. Rapidly she turned around, desperate to discover any more revelations. She saw a flash of something. It was silver, but white, also. Before she could examine it further, she felt someone shaking her rather violently.
Unaware of what was happening, she had somehow wielded her wand and was pointing it at Snape's chest. Their eyes were locked on one another, Snape's in surprise and Narnia's in fear. The only sound was that of Narnia's rapid breathing. Finally deciding to lower her wand, she looked around to see that she was still at her desk, with Snape kneeling directly beside her. She had apparently fallen asleep and he had attempted to wake her. She looked back at Snape, a look of concern on his face.
"I neglected to give this to you earlier." He reached into the pocket of his traveling cloak and pulled out two small vials. "It is a simple sleeping draught. Only take one tonight and you will have uninterrupted sleep. The other is an extra."
Narnia timidly reached out for the vials and placed them on her desk. "Thank you." He remained at her side.
"I would suggest that you end your work for the evening and return to your chambers." He paused, and then added, "I don't want my students behind when I return."
She turned to face him, aware of his kindness in the matter, despite his attempt to conceal it.
"You're leaving now?" Narnia heard a small hint of disappointment in her own voice.
"Momentarily."
Feeling the tension, and hesitant to do so, she reached out her hand and gently caressed his hair, searching his eyes with her own. Her hand was trembling and he reached up and pulled it down into his own. Quickly, he moved towards her, placing his other hand behind her head, pulling her up into an ardent kiss. Releasing her hand from his, she clutched onto his cloak with both hands, waiting to pull him back if he withdrew. He groaned in response and Narnia tightened her grip, all the while kissing him eagerly. He now had his hands framing her face, running his thumbs along her cheeks and after an instant of doing so, broke their connection tenderly. Both breathing heavily, Narnia wrapped her arms around him, pulling him slowly into an embrace. After relinquishing and placing his own arms around her, Severus placed his hands on Narnia's shoulders, gently pushing her away, raising one hand to brush back a strand of hair from her face.
"Narnia, I must go."
Narnia nodded her head in acknowledgement, privately delighting in the fact that he finally used her first name.
"We shall pick up where we left off when I return," he stated, a mischievous grin playing on his face.
"Perhaps," she replied, grinning.
He turned on his heel and left the office. Looking around the room for a second time, Narnia was unsure of whether she had actually stopped dreaming or not.